If I were in your shoes I’d sit down with my therapist and try to unpack things. A lot. I’d find a polyamory-friendly therapist who doesn’t immediately judge you for ‘we had sex with other people but we were still a couple’ but I think you need to put this to rest: whose idea wax that and how are you (both individually and as a couple) handling the desire to have sex with other people? Are you afraid that he’ll cheat again (he obviously had an emotional affair with Zara)?
And are you happy in your relationship as it is? Not just comfortable and familiar with it? Are you getting your needs met?
Right. Your answer is sort of concerning. It’s fine that you’re in no rush to get married. The concerning thing is when you say “it would be nice.”
That logically means you want to get married, but you haven’t discussed it with him, or you have and either were told he doesn’t want it or he was vague about it.
If you want marriage, you need to be honest about it. You say he’s afraid of commitment but you bought a house together. So again, this isn’t about a dog. But you do need to talk about reality.
Won't it still be awful and awkward keeping things to yourself? Especially if he tries making moves on Lucy or someone else you know in your job?
Clearly they want to be close physically to your GF. No other way to look at it.
If they were meh about it, they wouldn't have gone down the rabbit hole of asking if she felt like you were being possessive.
They are not being a good friend and are being disrespectful of you boundaries.
Honestly, no I didn't know that is what you meant. My own interpretation of her writing didn't have a negative tone.
If I were in your shoes I’d sit down with my therapist and try to unpack things. A lot. I’d find a polyamory-friendly therapist who doesn’t immediately judge you for ‘we had sex with other people but we were still a couple’ but I think you need to put this to rest: whose idea wax that and how are you (both individually and as a couple) handling the desire to have sex with other people? Are you afraid that he’ll cheat again (he obviously had an emotional affair with Zara)?
And are you happy in your relationship as it is? Not just comfortable and familiar with it? Are you getting your needs met?
Right. Your answer is sort of concerning. It’s fine that you’re in no rush to get married. The concerning thing is when you say “it would be nice.”
That logically means you want to get married, but you haven’t discussed it with him, or you have and either were told he doesn’t want it or he was vague about it.
If you want marriage, you need to be honest about it. You say he’s afraid of commitment but you bought a house together. So again, this isn’t about a dog. But you do need to talk about reality.
Yes, she is flirting with you. Ask away. Good luck.