Drying out your phone when you get it wet. Better than rice—that’s what desiccant is for—keeping things dry. I keep the packets in my “battery” drawer and they keep the batteries from freaking out due to the humidity. I also take a baggie hiking for when someone inevitably drops their phone in a water crossing trying to get that perfect selfie. ?
Haha yeah i know. But i learned to forgive. His brother is still a great guy and I know he didnt mean it. He just thought he could make everyone laugh. But I was the only person paying attention to him bc the others were also drunk and having fun by themselves. (I dont drink so I know what I saw)
Seems like she wanted a sugar daddy not a husband. Cut the funding and find yourself someone you can count on. This is a demonstration of what is to come, painful as it is, she just showed you she is not for marriage.
Because you're the one who was trained to be the people pleaser, happy maker. Because you don't understand why you have no value to them so you try even harder. You've been told it's your job and a lifetime of that message makes you feel like it's your failing.
Look, she's establishing some boundaries, just in case you might think of hitting on her. This is one of those situations where any direct conversation on the topic is likely to be awkward, and you should draw inferences from her behavior.
You say you love him, but does he love you. He doesn't seem to mind inflicting major discomfort on you, he demands blow jobs, he doesn't respect your boundaries and cums in your mouth, he complains to his friends about you, and he doesn't try to compromise. If your friend told you these things about her boyfriend, what would you think.
I did this and was happy to do it .. I owe my parents a lot they sacrificed a lot by putting me in a private school while they worked 7 days ago. Be more grateful ..
Yeah, I've been working on myself, my empathy, body language and social awareness for a while now, I'm getting the hang of white lies, and not sharing every thought that pops into my head. It was really hard at first, but it's becoming second nature
From the people I know who have serious versions of this disorder, your biggest obstacle is likely getting others to understand.
After listening to someone with severe Asperger Syndrome [a DSM-V removed term], the closest I could come to giving him a way to describe to others what he was telling me was something like this (I was guessing at the time).
What I suggested he tell them:
“Imagine looking straight ahead and keep your eyes forward. Now try to be aware of the area outside of your vision to the left and to the right, but don't move your eyes or head. It's not there….you can learn there's a region you can't see, but it's not a void, because a void would at least be something. It's not blank. It's not even black. That is the part of me responsible for “seeing” the cues of others and predicting their interpretation of what I say.”
I said “exactly” many times reading your comment. It’s very comforting to know others have experienced this and that there’s a way back from feeling this way! Thank you
What do you mean you don’t know why she amass a divorce? She doesn’t want to raise your exes child. This is perfectly reasonable of her. She’s not trying to stop you seeing your son. She’s being reasonable about that part of it. Personally I’d not have put myself on that situation either. Looks like your ex reached out to you because of money and it will be a messy situation. Your wife likely feels she’ll be better off out of the drama, as will the children you share with her.
As for all the other stuff you need to speak to an attorney.
By reading everything below, I am sure you can see how you were wrong. I would like to take a moment to give a shout out to the now ex. That girl produced zero drama for herself. Clueless now ex-bf asks her to pick out a gift for his female friend (who has likely been an issue in the past and in every one of this guy’s relationships). Then she is told they are gonna get drinks, etc and apparently she is not invited. Clue now ex realizing she is worth more. She does the task requested, then proceeds to get her stuff and exit this toxic relationship. Her walking in on them was likely a coincidence as she likely assumed they would still be out. Good for her, more people should be this aware
You two are far past the point of involvement where you could consider it reasonable to be dating other people without a serious discussion about if you’re not invested in each other.
At this point, he’s just seeing what he can get away with and what you’ll tolerate. He’s looking to see if he can continue with “serious relationship” activities with you, and you tolerate him trying to find someone better, so if the new options work out he doesn’t have to give up the relationship progress with you.
I’d honestly advise you to just ditch him. Can’t imagine how it would go, you’d spend a bunch of quality time together, then every other week, he’d tell you about how he’s gonna go on a date with someone else. LOL, high school nonsense.
He's either lying about it, or he really believes that he can simply switch it off and hasn't faced the fact that he has a problem. It's like telling a depressed person to “just not be sad anymore,” or telling a person with anxiety disorder to “just tell yourself to calm down.” I'm anxious, and for years I refused to take medication because I thought I could just manage it another way. I was afraid of what the medication might do if it wasn't the right kind. Well, turns out I did need meds because after years of not doing anything about it, it turned into depression and I couldn't function properly. The first meds I took were the wrong ones and made me worse, but that's why your doctor has to follow you carefully when trying to find the right meds, and why you need to call them as soon as something doesn't feel right.
The thing is, that it's not your job to fix him. You can offer to help support him, but he needs to be the one actively taking steps to get help, or the relationship will stay toxic. He has to admit to himself that he has a problem, and not getting help isn't going to work anymore. It never really did.
Drying out your phone when you get it wet. Better than rice—that’s what desiccant is for—keeping things dry. I keep the packets in my “battery” drawer and they keep the batteries from freaking out due to the humidity. I also take a baggie hiking for when someone inevitably drops their phone in a water crossing trying to get that perfect selfie. ?
Haha yeah i know. But i learned to forgive. His brother is still a great guy and I know he didnt mean it. He just thought he could make everyone laugh. But I was the only person paying attention to him bc the others were also drunk and having fun by themselves. (I dont drink so I know what I saw)
Who cares it’s your life
Seems like she wanted a sugar daddy not a husband. Cut the funding and find yourself someone you can count on. This is a demonstration of what is to come, painful as it is, she just showed you she is not for marriage.
Have you told him you think he's “neurodivergent”?
Get out now!!
Did she had her phone on her when she came home that day?
If she did, she indeed went to her coworker’s house.
If she didn’t, either her coworker took her phone or left it at his house.
Because you're the one who was trained to be the people pleaser, happy maker. Because you don't understand why you have no value to them so you try even harder. You've been told it's your job and a lifetime of that message makes you feel like it's your failing.
You really want to be the ONLY option every time a 21 YO guy wants to have an orgasm? That could get exhausting.
I have had mask treatments where not all the product was removed and transferred to my shirt. Easy plausible explanation
Look, she's establishing some boundaries, just in case you might think of hitting on her. This is one of those situations where any direct conversation on the topic is likely to be awkward, and you should draw inferences from her behavior.
You say you love him, but does he love you. He doesn't seem to mind inflicting major discomfort on you, he demands blow jobs, he doesn't respect your boundaries and cums in your mouth, he complains to his friends about you, and he doesn't try to compromise. If your friend told you these things about her boyfriend, what would you think.
Not I, lol. I was a fly on the wall for that one. Watched the drama for him unfold in the comments
Could your wife be on the spectrum? She seems to be taking a goofy, lighthearted joke very literally.
I would just ignore it, and go on about my business as if it never happened.
I did this and was happy to do it .. I owe my parents a lot they sacrificed a lot by putting me in a private school while they worked 7 days ago. Be more grateful ..
people can’t change. It doesn’t sound like he’s changed. You are not the issue.
Sounds cracked as fuck don’t think it sounds safe at all
the Toys you have in the car
That's sketchy AF.
she tells me she loves me 10 times a day
She does this to keep you in line and off her trail.
the Toys you have in the car
That's sketchy AF.
she tells me she loves me 10 times a day
She does this to keep you in line and off her trail.
What if the dog were your child?
He's right, back in the day neapolitan was fancy.
Yeah, I've been working on myself, my empathy, body language and social awareness for a while now, I'm getting the hang of white lies, and not sharing every thought that pops into my head. It was really hard at first, but it's becoming second nature
From the people I know who have serious versions of this disorder, your biggest obstacle is likely getting others to understand.
After listening to someone with severe Asperger Syndrome [a DSM-V removed term], the closest I could come to giving him a way to describe to others what he was telling me was something like this (I was guessing at the time).
What I suggested he tell them:
“Imagine looking straight ahead and keep your eyes forward. Now try to be aware of the area outside of your vision to the left and to the right, but don't move your eyes or head. It's not there….you can learn there's a region you can't see, but it's not a void, because a void would at least be something. It's not blank. It's not even black. That is the part of me responsible for “seeing” the cues of others and predicting their interpretation of what I say.”
He said “it was close”.
Top comment worthy
I said “exactly” many times reading your comment. It’s very comforting to know others have experienced this and that there’s a way back from feeling this way! Thank you
Stop coming when he calls.
I’m honestly lost for words.
This is why it’s important to have at least some shared interests with your significant other ?
People will call another insecure while simultaneously causing the insecurity and this is a perfect example.
What do you mean you don’t know why she amass a divorce? She doesn’t want to raise your exes child. This is perfectly reasonable of her. She’s not trying to stop you seeing your son. She’s being reasonable about that part of it. Personally I’d not have put myself on that situation either. Looks like your ex reached out to you because of money and it will be a messy situation. Your wife likely feels she’ll be better off out of the drama, as will the children you share with her.
As for all the other stuff you need to speak to an attorney.
By reading everything below, I am sure you can see how you were wrong. I would like to take a moment to give a shout out to the now ex. That girl produced zero drama for herself. Clueless now ex-bf asks her to pick out a gift for his female friend (who has likely been an issue in the past and in every one of this guy’s relationships). Then she is told they are gonna get drinks, etc and apparently she is not invited. Clue now ex realizing she is worth more. She does the task requested, then proceeds to get her stuff and exit this toxic relationship. Her walking in on them was likely a coincidence as she likely assumed they would still be out. Good for her, more people should be this aware
You two are far past the point of involvement where you could consider it reasonable to be dating other people without a serious discussion about if you’re not invested in each other.
At this point, he’s just seeing what he can get away with and what you’ll tolerate. He’s looking to see if he can continue with “serious relationship” activities with you, and you tolerate him trying to find someone better, so if the new options work out he doesn’t have to give up the relationship progress with you.
I’d honestly advise you to just ditch him. Can’t imagine how it would go, you’d spend a bunch of quality time together, then every other week, he’d tell you about how he’s gonna go on a date with someone else. LOL, high school nonsense.
You don’t need his permission to leave. Are you guys living together?
He's either lying about it, or he really believes that he can simply switch it off and hasn't faced the fact that he has a problem. It's like telling a depressed person to “just not be sad anymore,” or telling a person with anxiety disorder to “just tell yourself to calm down.” I'm anxious, and for years I refused to take medication because I thought I could just manage it another way. I was afraid of what the medication might do if it wasn't the right kind. Well, turns out I did need meds because after years of not doing anything about it, it turned into depression and I couldn't function properly. The first meds I took were the wrong ones and made me worse, but that's why your doctor has to follow you carefully when trying to find the right meds, and why you need to call them as soon as something doesn't feel right.
The thing is, that it's not your job to fix him. You can offer to help support him, but he needs to be the one actively taking steps to get help, or the relationship will stay toxic. He has to admit to himself that he has a problem, and not getting help isn't going to work anymore. It never really did.