His feelings are not dumb- and you are wrong for invalidating them. If not shaving makes him feel better, than he has every right to not shave. Leave this topic alone and let him do what he wants for his own body.
Hey im 23(f) and I understand where you're coming from. You are taking the right steps and they are scary as hell. I just recently have been in the process of filing a protective order about my ex after he verbally and harassed me. Honestly its been easy going so far as we dont live together and don't have pets but the final court comes this week. Once is enough. Im glas she believed you.
I understand being scared for your life and wanting to move despite the protective order. I feel that everyday. Knowing they can't doesn't mean they won't. I reccomend cameras. I got set up with a really incredible non profit domestic violence center near me that has offered me an attorney, counseling, and even shelter, along with the cameras to feel safe.
Please don't be scared to reach out to the resources near you. They were the only ones there for me and being semi anonymous made me feel safe.
You've been together 3 years. So you don't want to throw that away without doing what's reasonable to try to save this relationship if indeed it is salvageable. I think you should at least ask him to give couples counseling a try before you leave him. If he's not willing to do even that, then there's your answer.
I have been doing a lot of thinking and I have to agree. First of all, evidence, as someone here pointed out, can and does get manufactured. In fact, this has happened on those forums, where a disgruntled ex posted. Second of all, is it really protecting women, or perhaps sometimes giving them a false sense of security. Example, there was a time that Ted Bundy would have gotten a stamp of approval for being a good date. Third of all, some insist it has saved women from dating an abusive or raped guy. Did it really? Or did it merely prevent a woman from dating a harmless guy who was posted about by someone out for petty revenge? How was it verified that her life would have undoubtedly been in danger?
Seems to me time would be much better spent on women sharing advice, tips, and horror stories on how they got out of potentially dangerous situations. That’s at least knowledge that could save a life.
As everyone said, you need to communicate. I had been the wife in this scenario (though the number wasn't so high) and my husband didn't want to go on so often. And as we never had the chance to stay in same city we didn't realise each appetite before. My husband instead of being an adult about it and speaking up would just rudely respond to any of my advances. It took up lot of time for me to try and have open conversation, read about it and understand why to solve our problem. Please have a gentle conversation and do let her know it's not that you are not attracted to her or love her enough, it's about the stamina and the boundaries you have.
Given that you have just started living together you have long way to go to understand each other irrespective of how long have you been living together.
This is the important part he is missing. She knows it was 3 separate times and is likely basing her decision on that fact. Him insisting it’s a single incident is just silly.
OP, she knows you broke the rule 3 times. On 3 separate occasions you actively made the decision to smoke inside, knowing it was a dealbreaker for her. That is a pattern, not an incident. You have repeatedly demonstrated that you will choose to do as you please, and she is smartly choosing to believe your actions and not your words. Leave it be.
His feelings are not dumb- and you are wrong for invalidating them. If not shaving makes him feel better, than he has every right to not shave. Leave this topic alone and let him do what he wants for his own body.
Hey im 23(f) and I understand where you're coming from. You are taking the right steps and they are scary as hell. I just recently have been in the process of filing a protective order about my ex after he verbally and harassed me. Honestly its been easy going so far as we dont live together and don't have pets but the final court comes this week. Once is enough. Im glas she believed you.
I understand being scared for your life and wanting to move despite the protective order. I feel that everyday. Knowing they can't doesn't mean they won't. I reccomend cameras. I got set up with a really incredible non profit domestic violence center near me that has offered me an attorney, counseling, and even shelter, along with the cameras to feel safe.
Please don't be scared to reach out to the resources near you. They were the only ones there for me and being semi anonymous made me feel safe.
Ya – your bf is not pro-choice
You've been together 3 years. So you don't want to throw that away without doing what's reasonable to try to save this relationship if indeed it is salvageable. I think you should at least ask him to give couples counseling a try before you leave him. If he's not willing to do even that, then there's your answer.
I have been doing a lot of thinking and I have to agree. First of all, evidence, as someone here pointed out, can and does get manufactured. In fact, this has happened on those forums, where a disgruntled ex posted. Second of all, is it really protecting women, or perhaps sometimes giving them a false sense of security. Example, there was a time that Ted Bundy would have gotten a stamp of approval for being a good date. Third of all, some insist it has saved women from dating an abusive or raped guy. Did it really? Or did it merely prevent a woman from dating a harmless guy who was posted about by someone out for petty revenge? How was it verified that her life would have undoubtedly been in danger?
Seems to me time would be much better spent on women sharing advice, tips, and horror stories on how they got out of potentially dangerous situations. That’s at least knowledge that could save a life.
You will be doing her a huge favor in the long run if you break up with her now.
As everyone said, you need to communicate. I had been the wife in this scenario (though the number wasn't so high) and my husband didn't want to go on so often. And as we never had the chance to stay in same city we didn't realise each appetite before. My husband instead of being an adult about it and speaking up would just rudely respond to any of my advances. It took up lot of time for me to try and have open conversation, read about it and understand why to solve our problem. Please have a gentle conversation and do let her know it's not that you are not attracted to her or love her enough, it's about the stamina and the boundaries you have.
Given that you have just started living together you have long way to go to understand each other irrespective of how long have you been living together.
Wow, this man treats you like trash. I would not stay with this man. 100% he's gonna cheat again.
This is the important part he is missing. She knows it was 3 separate times and is likely basing her decision on that fact. Him insisting it’s a single incident is just silly.
OP, she knows you broke the rule 3 times. On 3 separate occasions you actively made the decision to smoke inside, knowing it was a dealbreaker for her. That is a pattern, not an incident. You have repeatedly demonstrated that you will choose to do as you please, and she is smartly choosing to believe your actions and not your words. Leave it be.