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Date: October 31, 2022
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I'll support nearly anyone's quest to be happy. But personally, I myself am very into the idea of being together long enough to have lived together for like 3 years minimum before getting married.
To me, I want to know as much as possible about the person I'm going to legally tie myself to.
You're ready when you're ready. Stay firm within the boundaries that keep you feeling safe, comfortable, and happy.
You married a piece of shit. What are you going to do about it.
I thought (without being too crass) maybe by it being ‘tight’!
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Plus if you don’t say something the neighbor will likely tell her first and that will make you look horrible
You should feel guilty because you did a bad thing…
Anyway, 2 weeks into talking to him (one week innocent— 4 songs written—, one week heavily flirtatious—
It took you two weeks of working with a stranger to start cheating? Regardless of the state of your marriage this is gross.
He asked for couples therapy and I wanted to punch him (but didn’t) as I had begged for couples therapy for years and he had repeatedly declined.
This is reasonably frustrating on your part, you asked and he declined however, YOU still cheated. That's not the appropriate response to him saying he doesn't want to do marriage counseling. You aren't the victim here.
but my guilt at upending my children’s lives is really difficult It should be. You should feel bad that you couldn't grow up and divorce him, and you instead chose to cheat and reck your kids lives. They don't understand what's going on and there were so many ways you could've done better.
but I know this is coming from an unhealed codependent side of me.
Or maybe you feel guilty because you did something vile and your actions had consequences.
I’m really looking forward to my kids witnessing a healthy relationship even though it was born out of a mess.
Yeah. Because your kids will love the homewrecker who got with a married woman and “stole” her from thier dad. Really healthy and respectable to run off with someone 10 years older than you. Great example for your young kids. Does he even want to be a dad? Does he want anything to do with your kids?
You aren't the victim here. Quit acting like this “happend to you” and it wasn't your actions crashing down and having consequences that you didn't like. Grow up.
Holy shit lmao in which part of any of my comments did I ever question the legality of her charging OP “rent”? Quote me.
This is a morality thing, not a legality thing. Crazily enough, there is, in fact, a difference. She is pocketing his money that is not going towards what she’s pretending it is. Her parents are covering EVERYTHING for her, this is money she does not need. It isn’t rent money, it’s her pocket money.
And no wonder you can’t empathize, you’re a fucking landlord LOL.
Tell that bitch she can fuck off
What door? He asked her to meet up, presumably in a public place, not leave her husband or embark on an affair. She's even considering bringing her husband. I really don't know where everyone is getting all of this nonsense. Are you in totally untrusting relationships?
I have provided him with content of me. I don't have a problem with him jerking off, it is indeed the porn that's the problem.
He is very mature for his age – has had no parents since the age of 14 and was forced to grow up quite quickly. These thoughts did enter in my decision to date him in the first place.
Would your parents want you to marry this guys knowing that he doesn't stand up to his friends on your behalf?
You’re both still teenagers. Maybe just date for a while first?
I often find people aiutomatically take the side of the women on this subreddit, i've left out a lot of background context but it definitely became a one way street where I was all give and she was all take.
She'd love and expect me to answer all her phone calls and texts in timely manners but never reciprocated. The key is she never reciprocates now its not me trying to force her into a corner
I, personally, would tell you to cut your losses here.
He was right, an eight year age gap is a big thing when you're both the ages you are. Him expressing anxieties that he might hurt you speaks volumes, as that's not really something the average person would bring up unless they know they're going to hurt you when it's this early in dating.
I would also see it as a red flag that he made you promise not to get worried or anxious if he doesn't have the time to call you or text, personally. Making someone promise that, to me, isn't ok at this point.
He's actively telling you “Don't wait for me.”, and that shows that he's not really looking to continue dating. He might be trying to let you down gently.
You definitely do not force “love and support” onto someone who is actively telling you they want to be left alone. If you were in a long-term relationship and your partner had a mental health crisis I would support that decision, but this is someone you don't really know that well and haven't been dating very long.
Think of it this way…you tell someone you want to be left alone, and that they shouldn't wait for you…and postcards and food start showing up? How quickly would you worry about having an obsessed stalker?
You better nip this in the bud right now. This type of behaviour toward an innocent child by a toxic step parent usually has an incredibly negative impact on the child. What kind of parent allows this kind of treatment to be directed at his child? Your wife is selfish and cruel. Speak up for your poor daughter before it’s too late.