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BJ (deep+juice) [Multi Goal]
Date: October 13, 2022
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BJ (deep+juice) [Multi Goal]
Leave him. He's emotionally manipulating you and essentially trying to coerce you into having sex. He doesn't care about your health. Whether it is physical or mental, so let him go. Save yourself. I don't see it getting any better for you even once you start giving him what he wants. He will hold this over you and it will be a cycle.
I wouldn't be that worried. I've done this for fun when astrology things come up, including ppl who I have absolute zero interest in but who I might not get along with, or feel are hard to understand (as well as those that I feel close to without knowing). I think it's just a fun way to try to rest out how much it's BS and learn how you think about yourself and others
It does bother me that she was telling me she loved me. But would’ve stayed in the marriage. Neither of us has a leg to stand on. But, I will always tell the truth regardless of the consequences. I’m not saying that any of it was right. But I’m not gonna lie.
Thats good you recognize you became someone you don't want to be. You should never lose sight of who you are. If you are unable to keep you head held high because of a relationship then just recognizing it is a key to realize the toxic environment.
RUN before children appear.
Hahaha “is it a red flag” hahahah.
I'm not trying to be a dick, or joking, but that you think it might be a red flag comes across as a red flag. Like, you come across as a red flag because you think you're so entitled to head that if she doesn't give it, it's a red flag. That's some sort of fucked up bro.
Outside of that, if you won't feel fulfilled without it in a relationship, 100% consider ending this. You deserve a fulfilling relationship. Just like your girlfriend does.
I don’t know we just aren’t but I’m thinking of getting one behind her back
Was the person you were joking about there? Because if not, it's not a joke. It's just shit talking.
Why are you still with him? Why are you calling him boyfriend. Get some dignity and run.
The longer it goes the worse it’s gunna get. Tell the truth. I would say good luck but your an asshole and your wife doesn’t deserve your bullshit.
Sweetheart, tell him. This is his reality as well as yours. You need to deal with this together. I'm glad he will support you but, trust me, you don't feel guilt cutting someone who thinks and unapologetically says heinous things like this. It's a fundamental morality issue. It would be like you overhearing her denigrating you to her friends on the basis of race. And that's how serious this is as well.
Do not ever feel like you have to absorb all of this on your own. Talk to your partner. I'm sending you so much love. That woman is a twat. xx
I don’t usually comment on these, but this is totally emotional affair behavior. My dad did this with a woman on Facebook from their old friend group and when my mom approached him in a similar way to you, he acted the same exact way. They don’t want to admit that the emotional intimacy they have with the other woman is another (often worse) type of affair. It’s a betrayal because he’s not striving for that intimacy with you and rather spends all of his time texting her. You deserve his full attention and presence, and I’m so sad that he wouldn’t own up to it. I hope you find peace.
do u think hes gonna continue reaching out given that hes no longer at my school?
and how do u know that im sweet? Lol
Lol this is pathetic on so many levels. How tf were you ever attracted to such an insecure little boy in the first place
The fuck is wrong with you?
Literally just the honeymoon period poisoning your brain.
OP, He was kind enough to tell you now that he's just using you before he has to go perform his familial duties. You know where you stand and it's up to you whether you want to be involved with someone who didn't respect you enough to tell you up front.
That’s modern feminism for you
Maybe he has more than a 100 friends but they’ve all slept together
A 31 year old dating a 22 year old.
You like him and he likes you. You have both matured and fixed a few flaws. Go have fun!
Very possible. But, again, unless I'm having some significant issues in my marriage, I'm not hopping to “Are you trying to hint at something?” from the get go and then act pissed off.
It's called gaslighting
That's fair, I kinda like that, and that has been something I've been trying to figure out, how to carry it around without him noticing ?
Well, general principles are rules you live by that you believe make the world a better place, or lead to you treating people well. How does this principle do that?
His relationships with them are not in the past their present if he’s sleeping over at their house, which I would have a fit over now, and your skinny dipping with them. His relationships are very much present, and I would set a boundary with him and I wouldn’t trust him with them either. Why because he hit all of that and because it’s almost like he’s a voyeur watching him skinny dip when he’s had sex with him and you’re the only person that doesn’t know. Frankly, I dump him.
Detail request: what’s the bachelor party? Is this like a scenic camping trip? Or is this like 5 days of partying and debauchery? Are people coming from overseas to attend just the bachelor party? If they’re coming from a different continent-perhaps that does justify a slightly longer trip…
Your wife is not your mother. You may feel like you are replacing your mother with her, but that is not true. Every single couple takes care of each other when the other person is sick. You have to change your mindset and start viewing your relationship as a romantic relationship. Go back to dating your wife. Stop focusing on the mundane things and start trying to reignite your marriage. Also, continue therapy.
Get her an inhaler. Or a brown paper bag. Then tell her it's over and give her the divorce papers… life is too short.
That’s how it really sounds. It sucks as I was starting to believe that maybe it was just the drinking or whatever.. I’m now struggling with the feeling that i should look again and dive deeper
3 factors to consider here.
1 would you be okay if you wife cuddles another man to comfort him 2 do you think your wife would be upset 3 ignore 1 and 2 because the fact your deciding to hide it makes it cheating. If it was harmless and something that was okay within the relationship you not the friend would hide it.
Come clean before you end bringing trust issues as a third party within your relationship.
Anything I think is even remotely coming close to the line I tell my bf.
Sit down maintain eye contact hold their hand and say. “Now I’m coming to you about this because it’s been on my mind a lot,” explain what happen and what lead up to it. “I can’t tell if that was a line crosser so I’m coming to you about it. If it is I apologize and promise not to do it again.” If they say they need time to think about it say. “I understand and that’s okay take as much time as you need. I love you and I want to make sure needs within both trust and boundaries are met” and end it there do not approach again until 3 days if she doesn’t speak on it. Start with “I know you said you needed time to think, if you need more that’s okay if you would like to discuss it now we can”
Do not sugar coat, do not skip over relevant parts just be gentle when you talk and be sincere.
You are not with someone ready to grow up. It is time for you to continue growing in a direction that will make you do well in the future. It is time to move on.
Your husband is insane. Do not keep that baby
Wow. You still have a few months left of happily making concessions for the sake of your wife. She had a baby ten months ago. Her hormones are focused on baby, not you for now. I co-slept with all my kids until they were toddlers, which is also “normal” and sounds like your wife is in that camp. The baby will develop good sleeping habits – eventually; it is only 10 months, will frequently wake up especially if breastfed, because that milk is thinner.
Her body is hers. She owes you nothing, not even when you are the breadwinner. She is probably doing all the child rearing and that always ends in emotional exhaustion. This is what you signed up for.
Why can’t you sleep in the bed? Not interested in helping with nighttime feeding or diaper changes? Just because she is a SAHM doesn’t mean she doesn’t deserve help from you.
You deserve your fiancé a cheater and a woman willing to accept to be the other woman you all should have seen it coming cheaters can’t be keepers same for side pieces (men and women alike) be miserable together your ex deserves better.
Let him break his dick being an idiot.
He's disrespectful to you as a human
If I were you, I wouldn't have another conversation. Your mother made her point very clear. She is unwilling to change her mind and will do anything to make it seem like everything is your fault and that you are the only problem in this scenario.
And she'll never change because the only way she could change is to take ownership of her actions and it's so much easier for her to just blame you. So that's what she does.
You need to get out and cut her out of your life. I know that it's not easy. I had to do it myself, though not for the same reasons you do. You need some time for yourself to deal with everything that you have gone through in a therapy environment. Honestly, if you're tired of the same thing happening over and over again then you shouldn't have any contact with her because there is little chance that she would ever stop.
You need to take care of yourself first, even if it means that you won't take care of her.
He hasn't mentioned that she gave him 4k to use for the divorce…it's nothing about her not wanting to compromise. Tell the full truth OP and stop trying to get sympathy by lying
This. The only possible reason she told him about her crush was because she thought he might dump OP for her.
Not ok.
You are right. Thank you for answering.
Or he could've stayed at the guy friend's flat? They're all long term close friends right so why did he get so mad about that?
I know that bullshit is in the news, but I also don't believe for a second that you're a wealthy, liberal leaning parent who sent their kid to private school to avoid them seeing a drag queen doing a strip show at pubic school. Such a human does not exist.
And if I'm wrong and you do exist, do better. For your children, and for yourself.
My partner is one of those guys who loves to pay for everything so there are definitely times I have to quickly steal the bill away just to treat him. The man tried to have me split his birthday dinner with him, I obviously refused lol.
It's balance and it keeps everyone feeling appreciated. I also just got him flowers one day. No reason, no occasion, just while I was at the grocery store I got him flowers and candy.
It sounds like she's not only basically still dating these other guys, but still basically advertising herself on the dating scene.
Don't let her gaslight you into thinking this is normal. It is not.
Okay…whew…this feels like there are two possibilities here and honestly OP, neither are good.
Best Case scenario-He genuinely thought he didn't want babies but the scare has brought out paternal feelings he didn't realise he had. Major paternal feelings!
Worst Case scenario-He always wanted babies. The condom 'broke' with help. This was always a baby trap.
Either case? You need to break up. If it is the worst case, he is evil and manipulative, and willing to ignore your bodily autonomy. But even if it is the best case? The two of you want different things and this has exposed that. There is literally NO reason to stay together now that you know that, but these feelings aren't going to go away. You would be wasting each other's time, each of you secretly hoping the other would change for you.
Sorry OP.
Dude, my mother-in-law got married again at 54 and is extremely happy with her new husband.
Right now you are wallowing in self-pity. That's okay up to a point, but you can't stay there. It's not healthy and it's definitely not productive. It also sounds like you are depressed as hell, so you really need to see a doctor about the possibility of meds.
Once you have found a medication that works for you, you'll find therapy is actually helpful to unpack the patterns in your life that drive you into abusive relationships – and how to stop yourself from repeating the cycle.
There is help out there, but you have to want to use it. No one can force you to do it, you have to make the choice to help yourself. Good luck.
Is this the first time you've met irl?
Leave him. Get tested for STD’s. Don’t waste gas like that again.
Umm… you're are right to feel jealous and insecure in this situation. He didn't tell her he has a girlfriend: you. He has to regain your trust after this. If he is in a committed relationship, and he is, again: with you, he needs to demonstrate that he means it. Also, I would vent a little bit to your brother about his enabling behavior. I know there is a guy code, but there is also a brother code.
Do you think your wife loves or respects you?
Why don’t you respect yourself enough to leave? Love or not.
It's relevant because fruitloops wanna be offended about anything and everything,
Cunt do you lack reading comprehension or do you just go along with whatever narrative is in your head.
I'm not transphobic
Nah but you're a dumb fuck.
You need to grow up fast, before your life is ruined. Your boyfriend is controlling. It doesn’t matter what it’s about, he’s controlling your actions and isolating you. This is the road to isolation and abuse and you seem totally unaware. Take some time to yourself and read up on abuse, red flags, coercive behaviour, and death rates of women in these relationships. He can’t set boundaries for you- that’s not what it is. You set boundaries for yourself. If he chooses not to date you, that’s fine, but he doesn’t get to ‘make a boundary’ that you don’t speak to other males. Wake up. Now.
dumb as bricks
Not petty. Sounds reasonable. It's not something you can change. She has to choose to do the change and the work or it won't stick.
You didn’t consent to sex with him every time and that’s rape. So yeah he is a rapist.
Progressive does not mean it makes sense.
It's a dumb boundry made from insecurities that noone should have
Lol I know what it is. It was supposed to be a joke. I do still think if she messaged him the day after than it is an unhealthy attachment but I doubt she did text him. I just don’t see her blasting him to family and friends all while reminiscing with him.
You fucked up… move on. What do you hope to get from the guy in a different continent? He won't be around for you or your kid
instant divorce. thats a whole fucking car!? PORN IS FREE!
I don't what? What is that you don't understand about my question? Are you saying you don't help/don't know how, right?
Sounds like you and Sami should dump the losers and move on to find men worthy of you both.
Sounds like you aren’t happy. Why spend your time being unhappy? Find your happiness. It doesn’t sound like you have.
goddamn!
The age gap alone is a huge red flag!
The hotel should give you another room for free for their mistake.
After the update I think it’s such a stupid thing to break up over. You simply should’ve just figured a way where you didn’t sleep in the same bed as your friend. Wether that’s pressing the hotel for another room due to their mistake, getting a pullout couch, one of you sleeping on the floor, getting your money back and getting a cheaper hotel with two beds or two separate room.
There were a lot of solutions to your mini problem.
Ma'am…
Respectfully.
Your boyfriend:
Brags to you about all the attention he gets from other women. Has a secondary snapchat that you're not welcomed to Secretly takes photos of you and posts it Gaslights you
Your boundaries have already been crossed many times. This is not appropriate behavior for any relationship.
If you want to work on your self respect, standing up for yourself in this situation (breaking up with him) is a great step forward.
Grow up
It's not just a man thing. I am a woman, and I have an incredibly high sex drive. I would never want to be with someone who is not interested in having sex close to daily. There's no right or wrong perspective here, just as there's no mail or female perspective. There is just your perspective and your partner's perspective, and it would be best if they were compatible. It sounds like you and he are not compatible, and it sounds like he handled it in a pretty mature way
You will absolutely want to make sure that your next partner has a sense of what your sex drive is, and that there's matches up
Girl he's literally cheating on you right in front of you. Makes you wonder what cheating he's doing behind your back. He's probably cheating on you sexually as well.
This is not healthy. You're pressuring your boyfriend into getting engaged and married. That's not how a healthy relationship works. If he has debts he wants to work on that's up to him. You can't make someone marry you or push them into it. It sounds like you want very different things, you want to get married and have kids before 30 which is 2 years away, and he isn't anywhere near that stage from what you've stated.
Why do you insist on punishing yourself? Do you feel like you deserve to be punished? Do you feel guilty about something from your past? Do you think you’re unworthy of being loved?
Short answer: fuck this dude, remove him from your life right now, not tomorrow, not in 10 minutes, fucking now.
Long answer: seek professional help dealing with yourself, finding ways to become the best version of yourself you can be, and most importantly, become happy being alone. A partner should add to your life not subtract.
He has clearly told you who he is. Believe him and seek help to safely get away from him. I wouldn't leave without protection in place because he is proud to admit he would murder women for what he deems “disrespectful”. Please seek help
He has explicitly told you he was not ready to be married.
He also got you a nice gift that you told him you wanted
You need to calm down and tell him thank you for the gift. Then, have a serious conversation about where you both are in your relationship and affirm that you have the same plans for your mutual future
He has explicitly told you he was not ready to be married.
He also got you a nice gift that you told him you wanted
You need to calm down and tell him thank you for the gift. Then, have a serious conversation about where you both are in your relationship and affirm that you have the same plans for your mutual future
Me and my wife were not exclusive for 2 weeks after we started seeing each other. I had the same opportunity. I did not even think twice. Friendzoned the girl that was into immediately because I did not want the memory of me shagging someone else as part of the start of a relationship.
This happened because I really liked my wife. If I didn't like her that much I would probably have given in to temptation. Her shagging someone else is very revealing to how attractive she finds the boyfriend.
You can do so much better, you know you don't have to keep suffering.
I'm sorry but what's this about 30+ men recently Regressing to some prepubescent gamer boy stage? Is it these podcasts and gurus getting to them? I'm constantly hearing about “too much” and “too little” reactions, getting “tested” by long term boyfriends, odd explosive behaviour, “pranks” and “jokes”, dismissive about anything regarding the relationship, intolerance and badgering… They get IMMENSELY shocked when they get dumped and then they turn vindictive and angry.
All the while you'll have a line of now ex girlfriends and friends swearing up and down “he wasn't like that, the change was sudden” but no cause in sight. ? I don't know what's happening or why but it's making me uncomfortable.
In your case OP I'd make a big deal out of looking at him like he's lost his damn mind and then asking him if he forgot to take his meds today because he's acting like a looney tune. Make it clear that whatever weird thing he's trying to achieve, isn't working, you don't tolerate or appreciate such juvenile behaviour and it's effectively pushing you away. See how he holds up against that. Yeesh ?
You should be seeing how your boyfriend respects you. These are his true colors. You think having a different living situation is going to change him and the way he views you? Lol, he is telling you who he really is, why aren't you listening? You think this guy is going to have your back ever given what you are seeing here?
Forget Grandma, they are all fucking mental anyway, you should be paying attention to the way he responds to your concerns because that will be the same for the entirety of the relationship.
Now ask yourself, is this the person you really want to be with? If not then get your shit and get the hell out of dodge.
How do you think people access it
One of the exciting things about being an adult is you don't have to actually share the details of your decisions with your parents.
It's not something you need to convince her of. You'll be at a new job presumably you and your boyfriend will be footing the bill for this. So, the conversation is really more of “as of x date, I'm doing xyz”
Unless there was an accident on the way or emergency, there's no reason to be an hour late. Sounds like poor time management.
Might be because they didnt get hugs nor cuddles from their family. Sad.
He already had it done and it came positive. Did we read the same post?
I mean come on, this all would be solved if she just doesn't move away? lol. It's easier for everyone if she stays. her kids don't have to have their life completely changed anymore then it will already be (if she divorces him). OP may not work from home, and can't move. He can be closer to this new kid he has in his life if he stays, and continue to be close to his 4 kids with his wife if she doesn't move. He also mentioned his is disabled, he may not be able to travel to see his son that often.
You definitely need individual and couples counseling. You may also want to consider sobriety, and if that seems hard and upsetting to you, then I would suggest it even more strongly.
I’m also not sure if either of you actually want a monogamous relationship? Why did you close the relationship when you were still interested in other people?
I just really want to add he is following a classic path.
He separated you from your friends and family, so you are more dependent on him.
Next he will tell you not to work until you are a stay at home wife and have no money yourself, meaning you are dependent on him.
Next he will probably ask for a baby, if you don't have one already, so that it is harder to leave and your lives are more intertwined.
Next on that list is escalating the abuse, which might evolve to physical abuse, sexual abuse and he might even kill you.
Even if you can't leave now. Try to make an exit plan to leave to make yourself ready. Otherwise this won't end well. At best you will have a miserable life and at wordt you won't have a life at all.
Switching boyfriends is easier than swapping accents, just fyi
Maybe. Maybe not. Could be on top of other new behaviors that have been adding up over the years – years of this being an increasing problem as dementia gets worse.
Could be this has been a problem for the last 40 years and he's just a creep. Family stayed together “for the kid(s)”.
Just think it's an important option to consider as we – internet sleuths – have limited information and it would be sad if there is something that can be fixed but doesn't for someone the family no doubt still cares about.