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Date: December 23, 2022
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They seem to be continually crossing lines. It should be a simple ask to not make the friendship sexual. Also them bothering her on a known date night is concerning. They are making a move and they are not her friends. You need to ask your SO to sever the relationship but also be a support for her because it must be hard for her to cut a friendship when she doesn’t make friends easily.
If I were you, I wouldn't have another conversation. Your mother made her point very clear. She is unwilling to change her mind and will do anything to make it seem like everything is your fault and that you are the only problem in this scenario.
And she'll never change because the only way she could change is to take ownership of her actions and it's so much easier for her to just blame you. So that's what she does.
You need to get out and cut her out of your life. I know that it's not easy. I had to do it myself, though not for the same reasons you do. You need some time for yourself to deal with everything that you have gone through in a therapy environment. Honestly, if you're tired of the same thing happening over and over again then you shouldn't have any contact with her because there is little chance that she would ever stop.
You need to take care of yourself first, even if it means that you won't take care of her.
You took a hard but wise decision! Sending virtual hugs
Friendship sounds toxic. Re-evaluate.
Chartered accountancy.
Good for her! And I hope you will leave her alone so she can finnaly get a closure and start her life again.
You would be a fool to marry into this deeply unsatisfying relationship.
IT WILL NOT GET BETTER
I REPEAT, IT WILL NOT GET BETTER.
You guys blew through the “honeymoon stage” which by your description sucked royally…and not your moving onto marriage? That’s nuts
All that reassuring is meaningless, her actions tell you everything you need to know. You will be unhappy and deeply unsatisfied with this marriage. She literally gave her best most exciting time to someone else and you get the the shit leftover
no it's called a relationship if i wanted no rules that's called being single. unless ur poly not cheating is a rule. not flirting w others is a rule. rules are allowed so are boundaries. if you need to compromise on a boundary then the lines you use to specify the boundary are…RULES!
i don't believe in dictating her weekend and i don't want to. i told her from the beginning i didn't wanna date a club girl. she told me she wasn't but goes w her friends every once in a while. i said okay well if we're going to be together while u r 6,000 miles away here is my boundaries and here's all i ask you to do for my comfort. i never forced i asked if she was okay w it. she agreed. i don't see how that's toxic and i don't see how that's controlling. and holding her to something she said she was comfortable doing isn't controlling.
i think ur perception of a relationship is flawed and laid back. i understand if u want to act single and have no rules but there is something called respect and tradition. each person has different lines and boundaries u can't just do what u want. u have to learn how to love the other individual in the way they're comfortable. and if that way isn't something you're okay with then don't say u r
Your sister sounds like a complete AH. What right does she have to act this way towards someone she doesn't know?
First, I'd talk to the rest of the family about it and let them know what your sister did. Get some people on your side to help make your GF more comfortable when she attends family events.
If I were you I'd also limit contact with your sister.She sounds like a terrible person. Only invite your GF when she isn't around or you have enough others to buffer her. I do think it is important to protect your GF from her.