I think you’re resenting her not because of how she looks, but how she’s sweeping this under the rug because of all the benefits of moving. Which is totally valid. She may have some guilt that she made a choice that opened you both up to this and she’s compensating by digging her heels in that this is fine.
I would recommend entering a discussion about this with “I agree that your job is better and that the opportunities are better for our daughter. This move could be really good for us in the long term. But to get to that point, we need to make a plan for how we can navigate the mental health problems that our new environment is creating for our family as a whole.”
You and your wife might want to explore therapy options to help you navigate. You also may want to enroll your daughter in therapy, as this is clearly difficult for her. I don’t have the exact perfect answer. It might be hosting more gatherings, inviting other parents out for dinner, etc so they can get to know you. It might be your wife speaking directly with your daughter’s teachers – “this is a difficult conversation for me to have but it’s clear that due to my appearance, some parents and faculty are treating my husband like a predator and it is clearly having a negative impact on our daughter.”
I have brought this up before, but when I did she dramatically yelled “do better!” In an accent as if she was doing a tiktok video. She has said she doesn't see why she doesn't deserve everything she wants, but I don't have the means of giving her everything. I also have needs, and it's hard to meet her needs while meeting my own needs to focus on my self occasionally, and spend money on myself so I have a life of my own as she does.
Just to be clear, I do buy her gifts and take her out. It's not as frequent as it used to be due to me putting that money into paying more in bills, rent and covering groceries, but I do buy her things.
It might be something worth discussing with her though
Time to lay in the bed you made.
I can’t help that
Oh, but you can. You can write in a less hostile way
You’ve only been dating him 6 weeks. You’re going to find out new stuff for a while. That’s normal. People generally open up slowly to their partners.
Now if the porn is a deal breaker for you – that is ok and you can break up.
So you wasted a year of your life with this woman already. She doesn’t respect you so respect yourself and dump.
This is what FWB means.
I think you’re resenting her not because of how she looks, but how she’s sweeping this under the rug because of all the benefits of moving. Which is totally valid. She may have some guilt that she made a choice that opened you both up to this and she’s compensating by digging her heels in that this is fine.
I would recommend entering a discussion about this with “I agree that your job is better and that the opportunities are better for our daughter. This move could be really good for us in the long term. But to get to that point, we need to make a plan for how we can navigate the mental health problems that our new environment is creating for our family as a whole.”
You and your wife might want to explore therapy options to help you navigate. You also may want to enroll your daughter in therapy, as this is clearly difficult for her. I don’t have the exact perfect answer. It might be hosting more gatherings, inviting other parents out for dinner, etc so they can get to know you. It might be your wife speaking directly with your daughter’s teachers – “this is a difficult conversation for me to have but it’s clear that due to my appearance, some parents and faculty are treating my husband like a predator and it is clearly having a negative impact on our daughter.”
You get it, what would you say is the solution if there is one
I have brought this up before, but when I did she dramatically yelled “do better!” In an accent as if she was doing a tiktok video. She has said she doesn't see why she doesn't deserve everything she wants, but I don't have the means of giving her everything. I also have needs, and it's hard to meet her needs while meeting my own needs to focus on my self occasionally, and spend money on myself so I have a life of my own as she does.
Just to be clear, I do buy her gifts and take her out. It's not as frequent as it used to be due to me putting that money into paying more in bills, rent and covering groceries, but I do buy her things.
It might be something worth discussing with her though
Why is he misogynist?