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By bringing up a potential boob job whole they were discussing sex.
He didn't make the best move, but hopefully he learnt his lesson.
Well I'm off to the doctors. I've always been this way however I'm 103 pounds and a woman.
I suggest you read some of the comments on this post alot if them might be helpful
Never marry a controlling person, it never ends well. She is controlling your human right and function to pee, that’s insane to me.
I don't know what “in discord” means, but it's definitely not normal to expect texts morning and night, that screams needy to me and would be a definite no from me.
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damn, as someone with bpd, i feel sad for her. i know exactly what shes feeling. it took months and lots of arguments for me to get into an okay mindset again. as soon as i opened my eyes i thought about it until i could finally release with sleep. i felt worthless, ugly, stupid, betrayed, sick. and shes gonna feel those for a while. dont punish her or her emotions, as im sure shes punishing herself enough. trust is very hard for bpd people, and even more difficult after being hurt. i know it was un-intentional, but it doesnt take away our obsessive “am i good enough” ways. like other say, validation, safety, comfort is all important right now.
She’s actually serious y’all ??
He didn't 180 I'm afraid. He just started showing you his true colours. I'm honestly not a fan of the jump to insta dump on a lot of these ones but honey, get out. This is no good, and the time you waste trying to fix him is time of yours wasted.
Take this advice. And also if you ever meet a 24yr old boy in the wild who says he is getting married soon, tell him to wait. A lot changes between 24-30.
Would you maybe add a “Trigger Warning: Suicide” before your text starts?
I am terribly sorry for your losses and your pain. I hope someone here has something helpful to say. ❤
It sounds like either he is a selfish person and you are just beginning to catch on to this, or his depression is so bad that there is no room or energy in him to be in a relationship.
Either way, it sounds like he may not be a good partner right now.
In so many ways you try to defend him being the way that he is, always choosing the show, never paying attention, only being interested in sex when it is his way, never cleaning up, and on and on it goes. But at some point you have to stop defending and see how things actually are.
I understand that he is in therapy right now, but it sounds like things haven't improved or changed from that therapy. In order for this relationship to work out, he needs to change and start doing things differently. If all he is willing to do is what he is doing right now, I'm worried things aren't going to work out.
I’m glad you don’t understand how traumatizing it would be. Many rape victims curl into themselves and the last thing they want to do is get to a police station to be literally probed and prodded at
Yeah im sure he will be now everyone's just tore him a new one
Not one for cats myself but you won't find me kicking them! Wtf is wrong with him? And using the drunk excuse. Has he ever been physical with you?
It’s very weird that she’d make a claim like “he’s much happier now than he ever was with you” that is a very bizarre think to say and just seems really immature/insecure. Every relationship has aspects that make it special and those things don’t just get erased when someone gets a new partner.
It’s very weird that she’d make a claim like “he’s much happier now than he ever was with you” that is a very bizarre think to say and just seems really immature/insecure. Every relationship has aspects that make it special and those things don’t just get erased when someone gets a new partner.
It’s time for a little offense with defense. I would tell him the next time that he says that to the children you’re going to add him and tell him that he’s bad mouthing you because he’s maladjusted he’s angry and bitter and he’s lying. You do that enough he’ll stop because he doesn’t want that done back to him. You are letting him do this to you. Your kids will know you.
It’s time for a little offense with defense. I would tell him the next time that he says that to the children you’re going to add him and tell him that he’s bad mouthing you because he’s maladjusted he’s angry and bitter and he’s lying. You do that enough he’ll stop because he doesn’t want that done back to him. You are letting him do this to you. Your kids will know you.
I’d think the smart choice would be to cut it off so that 11 years later she wasn’t still in love with him and still hung up in purgatory.I guess some argue it’s better than hell.
If You Like It Then You Should've Put A Ring On It
You sound extremely immature with little communication ability if this is your view on the matter.
Yes how else would you describe to teenagers with less than 2 weeks under their belts. Or do you just lack empathy.
Oh my god you actually keep getting worse don’t you?
This! NA/AA saved my life. Keep coming back ❤️
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If this ends in divorce, I don’t care if this is my fault or her fault, both are responsible for it. If she wanted this to work, she should have taken these misunderstandings with me first, she should not have taken these things to her folks or my folks first,i have told her numerous times about this but she doesn’t wanna do that. Even if she takes these things there i worked on those issues and tried to solve them advising her to talk to me first. I am now fed up with this and don’t want to do that
You are too invested in their relationship. You need to step back and let them handle it on their own.
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You’re literally in the “anti feminist” sub boy bye
Everyone recommending a doctor is starting to scare me. What else could they do if he went? He already told them what was happening and it seems they found nothing wrong.
Like in a bad way?
So he's a disgusting, manipulating liar: what more are you waiting to discover about the guy before dumping his ass from your life?
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Why is no one pointing out the age difference? He's known these friends for 7 years, and they apparently helped him out a lot. He's dated his gf for a year (so 20M and 26F), and she expects him to spend $300 on her? Do none of you spend money on your friends ? I've paid more than 300 for my dear friends when it comes to holidays, birthdays, even a random “thank you for always being awesome, and for being such a great friend” all the time. If my boyfriend demanded I spend as much on him for simply dating for a YEAR, I'd say he was materialistic. Yall weird or just sexist.
My husband and I decided that together. He has a forced relationship with them, and goes over to as he puts it “to appease them”. He hates Christmas. But enjoys it with my family as His family gives him bad anxiety.
You already wasted 3 years on this guy. Don’t waste any more.
Yeah, he’s basically saying he’ll cheat if the opportunity arises.
It’s clear y’all can’t trust each other right now. Maybe taking some space would be wise.
Okay I’ll dial it back thanks
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“She has given me access to her phone”
Bruh, what did you think you were ganna find? You’re both super young, shit happens. Roll with the punches or move on
Also she’s likely prolly not ganna change her behavior but change her phone password lol
I think someone having that reaction to your relationship and suggesting your safety might be at risk based on what they read could be helpful if you wanted to consider why someone might have that reaction to what you wrote
You're obviously incompatible. Being together with him makes no sense for either of you.
Firstly, as someone who suffered from both bulimia and anorexia, I am very sorry your girlfriend is/was going through body image depression. I think it’s incredibly hard to get rid of that, I managed to get rid of eating disorders but the body image issues never went away completely.
However, I will go against most of the comments here as I think that this isn’t just about attraction but also possible health complications in future, even issues getting pregnant if you plan on having children. I would want my partner to care about their health, especially if we are planning on starting family. I think I would have hard times marrying someone who isn’t at least trying to do something about such big weight gain, mostly because I would be concerned for their future health.
Also I guess based on the comments here I am quite superficial but I want my partner to continue putting effort to their look and body even in relationship. When I would see my partner gaining weight I would suggest going to gym together, finding a sport we both enjoy and I would start cooking healthier and support them by eating the same and doing sports with them. I need to be attracted to my partner. The romantic side of me likes the idea that you love person not matter what, but realistically I would loose attraction if my partner would become obese.
If your wife didn’t have body image issues and depression I would definitely suggest you talk to her, but like this I am scared you will make her problems even bigger and it will incredibly hurt her.
Did you try supporting her in a way that you would suggest starting some sport together? Eating healthy meals together? You could say that you want to get fitter and start eating healthier and exercising and maybe it will motivate her?
It’s cool when you do it but it’s a problem when she does it?! Doesn’t feel to good does it?!
'he loves me'
No, he doesn't. You are useful for him. Having sex with random people when you are in a committed monogamous (to you at least) relationship shows he disdains you and your health. If I understand your post correctly then he's doing this while you are waiting in the hotel room. It's beyond disgusting
This isn't mental illness – it's being an arsehole.
If you think this is in anyway acceptable then I suggest you need to take some time to understand why you dont' have enough respect for yourself or your health to walk away
Yes i agree. You aren't here to satisfy his needs only it should be mutual.
He cut her off before she accidentally outed their affair and your boyfriend is like this with you because he's cheating.
Or there is an insane other reason that no one could possibly foresee. I think it's the first one though.
It’s a compliment and showed that he felt welcome at your family. How can you see this any other way?
Exactly. It will be worse if you stay with her out of pity when you know you're leaving. When should you leave her? The day after the funeral? The day after she's hit all the “firsts” after his death? What if one of her Grandparents get sick right before you planned to pull the plug? Get it over with now, before she's dealing with him getting worse and the death.
You are not wife material FOR HIM. He can’t speak for anyone else.
I sort of dated a Muslim man at your age but it was a pretty positive experience. The difference between our situations is we discussed expectations at the very very beginning. He said he wasn’t looking for anything serious due to the laws of his religion, and at the time I really wasn’t either.
We did do sexual things but I never felt compelled to meet the standards of his religion or anything. We just hung out, exposed each other to music/food/etc, and became friends. I even met his mom and she was wonderful, made me lots of food. But we were friends, and that’s what he and I both wanted at the time, independent of each other. We are both married to other people now and I was really happy for him when he met his “one” and he congratulated me as well.
I feel like your guy has made it pretty panicky with the “my parents will never accept you” while also making this a very romantic, Romeo-and-Juliet-like endeavor. Which does he want?? That’s a really unfair position. Don’t change who you are for someone, and it’s not fair of him to ask that of you.
You don’t necessarily have to end it right this second, but y’all need to talk. About all of this really. See what he says, then decide. But you’re also really young so this honestly is quite a lot to deal with… good luck!
yea he sounds like a useless partner
Tell him you’re not changing your mind and to either get over it or breakup. In reality, he can’t just “get over it” so you should really consider breaking up. If you stay together, I guarantee this isn’t the last time this will come up lol
I'm not sure on the rules either but I think if things are anonymous, it is ok to share but feel free to share whatever you are comfortable with. I'm interested in what way if was negative if they will are involved in a friendship.
Speaking on the event, why did it take hours to pick something up from a hotel? Did she account for any of that time to you?
Well, if you wouldn't live with your boyfriend, you'd have to pay 100%. What if your boyfriend earned as much as you do? Would he have to pay more then too? Or are you a gold digger and thought that if you catch an high earner, then he should cover all your living? Personally i think everyone should pull their own weight. I've noticed that women these days want equality when it benefits them but still keep their privileges when it benefits them. It's 2022. Men shouldn't pay for your living regardless how much they earn. My partner earns less than me but i always ask before going to more expensive vacations if she's okay with that expense. (We don't do marriages where i live).
You should break up with him. After 7 years if you are still feeling unsure it's time to go.
I got married at 19 and have grown up with my husband. We have never regretted it. Everyone deserves to have a partner that enhances their life
Anxiety is 100% a mental health issue. She's also heavily medicated for it? Throw in the fact that she's not dating anyone and is currently at home upset, I honestly think her anxiety pushed her to end things.
Why end things when they're good? Anxiety makes you think it'll all go wrong and to cut ties now before you're in too deep. She probably has abandonment issues, and although she truly enjoyed herself with you, I can guarantee her anxiety spiked during those moments and fear filled her heart that you were 1) too good to be true, 2) going to leave her at some point, and that 3) it wasn't going to work out.
Coming from someone who had to fight her anxiety REALLY HARD when I first started dating my bf, there were many days I had thoughts that were utter self sabotage to my relationship. The only reason they didn't win out was because I kept telling myself that I was overreacting and it was my abandonment issues driving. So much self-talk got me through ?.
So honestly? I'd try to reach out with a letter. Something not too invasive. However you choose to write it let her know you care, you hope she'll reconsider, but you'll give her space if she needs it. She has to be the one to come back without feeling forced to. If she doesn't, well, that's just unfortunate. Not just because you lose out on someone you really care about, but because I know that she must know how much she's messing/messed up, but her anxiety won't let her fix it.
You both have issues beyond what redditt can help with. Seriously. Why even play his mind fuck games? Do you want to go crazy and end up in a psych ward?look up Sam vankin on YouTube. You will thank me later.
Your wife is irrational and childish. She needs to stop acting like a jealous teenager and you need to stop walking on eggshells around her.
Your relationship is unhealthy because of both of your actions.
Time to have a serious heart to heart about the fact that you can love someone unconditionally but still appreciate someone genuinely beautiful. It’s how you act on it that makes you a loyal loving partner.
The fact that you don’t ogle other women disrespectfully in front of her and wouldn’t dream of cheating means you are being a good husband and she’s being irrational.
prenups make sense as the legal system is rather confusing so its best to make sure everyone is on the same page before taking such a large step in your life as getting married. this guy is not on the same page as op. if i found out a fwb was doing that to me, all i can say is i would not be having sex with him again
Yeah I really don't get that mindset. My wife plans date nights aswell and the same with anniversaries. We both want to spoil eachother ??♂️
this is some of the best advice I've gotten on this so far, thank you very much!!
regarding my gf we are quite new in the relationship
You need to lose this guy's number and get yourself a new job and a few hobbies
Okay. Now you know. Don’t do it again. And you obviously need to really talk about where you are, where you want to be and see if you are on the same page. This shows that you were pretty oblivious to how stressed she is at work. It’s time to listen. It’s time to be very clear about how you feel and what you both are needing in this relationship.
Camera with night vision would solve the problem.
Any incite is appreciated!
I’m crying happy tears for you both. I’m sorry that you’re both struggling but I hope that removing herself from the toxic environment of her family will allow her to heal.
You sound like an amazing partner. I’m sorry your SIL is a sexual predator and you definitely didn’t deserve to be treated the way she treated you. I am rooting for you.
As a man, this is absolutely not normal, nor acceptable.
As to how you should go about this. Definitely do not have kids with him, if you do have kids then do not have more. Proceed forward with ending the relationship as he has made it clear he will continue this.
Right? He's costing her a ton more money than being single would. They have no money other than what she has in her own account.
I’m just glad to see an op with standards and boundaries for her husband’s hygiene, unlike the usual, “Hi Reddit, my partner hasn’t brushed his teeth in twelve years, leaves skid marks on the furniture, and has roaches under his foreskin; should I say anything or am I too picky?”
Reminds me of the girl who went psycho after finding out her husband pisses in the sink lol. But yeah that’s really gross.
That depends. Do you think she is the kind of person you would want to spent the rest of your life? You see many people never find such person that also mutually loves them. Abandoning her can potentially sabotage your future.
The whole missing out thing is strange. What is there to gain, is sex with other women than your gf that appealing? If yes than sure do break up. On one hand I understand you lack comparison with her being your first girlfriend. However just getting this comparison will not make you more fulfilled person.
This idea of missing out is just in your head, because you aren't missing out on anything special. Especially in comparison with happy relation, that is much mire special. Maybe can you try therapy to accept what you already have and appreciate it.
Still if your urge is too strong then sure leave her.
Ive read your responses and original post and i don't think this is a You problem. I think your wife's behaviour is entirely to do with your wife and no one else. In other situations in life , how does she respond when she is wrong? What about when she makes a mistake? Particularly in an area she prides herself on (not chess necessarily)…. I would guess she holds her intelligence and maybe knowledge or education highly as she sounds very intelligent…. when she is proven incorrect about something , especially by you , does she react by denial? Anger? Admission of being wrong? Apologising? Excuses for why she technically wasn't wrong? Does she double down and stubbornly stick to her guns even when faced with evidence to the contrary?
We all have different defence mechanisms that get most activated in our closest relationships. So I would analyse if this behaviour reminds you of anything else even remotely, in different scenarios.
My guess is she changed her mind about trying to play her best with your son (for probably very reasonable reasons), but her ego/ defence mechanisms won't allow her to acknowledge that so she is doubling down . Even though to you it may not make sense as it would be not a big deal at all to change the original plan for playing with your son – for whatever reason it IS a big deal to her .
How confident and comfortable is she in her own parenting skills? If this is an area of vulnerability in her mind this could be another reason her ego won't let her just admit what's going on.
When a usually emotionally stable person is displaying an overly big emotional response / behaviour to something seemingly small its almost always linked to some deep seated psychological reasons they may not even be aware of. That's what peoples 'buttons- are (eg he's pushing my buttons aaaarfg)
Continuing to ask her or point out the evidence is clearly not working so I would take a step back and think about approaching this is a totally different way with her.
Going over to her when she blocked you is 10x more extreme and unhinged
Dad always said “don’t ever loan money to a friend unless you’re prepared to lose that money and a friend”
sense of responsibility I feel to help
Your ability to help her is very limited unless and until she decides to break up with him. Then you can help her move out or help her find a place to stay or whatever. But the ball's in her court at this point regarding her relationship.
Nah when I’m with her I don’t show women a second of attention.
I know. It breaks my heart.
We have such a good time together and after it happened -I had coffee with my ex- we seemed to have a really good talk about communication. Maybe revenge? I honestly don’t see why he would not be comfortable sharing he was going to see her twice because at the end of the day he told me about it anyway.
I did ask about why he wanted to see more than once and he did it was just because he knew she would be around the area he was.
We talked about it and let him know that the situation made me feel uncomfortable. Just don’t know what to do. I’m so tired of immature relationships, I know nothing is perfect but also if it’s a red flag for me to get out.
he does not want to get back together, leave him alone to process this his way. you think about yourself and how you are going to process this. no one is going to be angry at you for getting an abortion because you don't want to take care of a baby by yourself. congratulations, that's called being responsible, and guess what? you can have a baby with someone who wants to be with you when the time is right. don't bring an unwanted child into the world in hopes it will magically make your ex come back. not fair at all to the child.
Girl you are going to sabotage your relationship is you don’t stop. Nobody wants an insecure partner it’s very draining and he’ll stop being around you. Get some self esteem, self value listen to seminars, get a counselor but stop putting your boyfriend thru unnecessary BS cause you “feel” insecure. It’s really not his problem.
OP, being in a foreign country and totally dependent on a non marital romantic partner makes someone vulnerable to the point where most couldn't handle the stress. If she can't get a decent job where you live – before she moves there – then this just isn't going to happen. No intelligent person is going to put themselves so utterly at another person's whims. She's absolutely not wrong to worry about this. If you want any chance of this working out eventually you're going to have to be able to step out of your own head and see things from her perspective.
You have closure. You got married. She's being inappropriate by following you on social media. Block her. That's closure.
Yeah, that's exactly what's going on. It's so confusing. On one hand I should trust her since I've known her for longer and she's the one that actually told me something in the past, on the other hand she's been proven dishonest and dramatic.
The interaction is not very important, he was supporting her job so it was positive. The thing is that in the last couple of years she's been very quick at cutting people out so to see that they were still talking was what set me off in the first place.
He has a side chick or had some drinks and wanted to see if your sister would be into him.
My best friends husband started texting me bc he was planning a surprise birthday party for her. Seemed perfectly normal. But he kept texting and it turned into asking to have sex and so on. We later found out he had a drinking problem and would usually text when he was drinking
Your bf is he and they meaning either can be used some people have preference but are fine with either. But it’s for your bf to let you know if they prefer he or they. T doesn’t seem like nice person. Give bf the space to be called when he wants. She is determining what is and isn’t appropriate for bf to be called. Instead of giving him that. So not a nice person or friend
Let me make one thing clear: both you and your wife need to grow up and understand 1. If it’s worth being depressed to stay together, 2. It is inhumane and shitty, but everyone needs to work.
Your wife feels lonely and depressed, and that is why she naps. With all the kids you seem to have, I can only imagine how tired she must be. Keeping a house and raising children is no joke, and it is only human not to have the strength to also work a full time job. Now, I don’t know where you live and what your wife was doing part-time, but whatever that was I am fully confident it wouldn’t make a great deal of difference in your finances compared to your 40+ hours/week job, while it would 100% make a difference in her well-being being able to take care of your children and your house full time. Additionally, learning how to do house chores is the bare minimum you can do to help your wife, who must be pretty overwhelmed if she needs to take a nap after lunch.
It’s pretty clear to me you and your wife are unhappy together, and you are acting quite selfishly. I would definitely break up with you, and take the kids where they can be financially supported.
Generally speaking moreover, just to briefly touch upon work, please take into account the fact you cannot in this economy, and with many children to care for, leave a job without having another one piled up. You are acting recklessly, and with no regards not only for your wife but also for your children.
That said, I would seriously consider therapy. You don’t sound like someone who’s talking straight.
Take care.
Hey, it’s important to figure out how to map your story appropriately!
I don't see the problem. This happens when you date. Sometimes you're into people who aren't into you. When my husband first expressed interest in me, I told him he was 100% not my type and we would never date…we were just hooking up and that is it. Now we are married. During our hookup phase I got to know him and he is really the best man out there… Not just for me but for everyone. I am so lucky to have him.
Dawg. Even the pros aren’t really pros
I also thought Neurodivergence.
It makes friendships hard.
So you’d drop op?
It's only been six months, and his parents don't know about you.
You may be serious about each other, but imho it's too soon to be deciding about marriage. Take some time to get to know each other better. And you need to meet his parents and see his family dynamic before you can make an informed decision about marrying him.
Oh totally agree young people should get it! But I was able to get the vaccine at age 38, ten years after having HPV.
Your post on r/relationships was removed.
Do not marry him. Break up with him. Get custody worked out. You deserve better than him. He wasn’t even in the delivery room with you? Insane.
I have never experienced loss like yours, but I also think you need therapy. I'm really glad you found someone you love and who seems to love your kids. Love isn't finite, there doesn't need to be a first and second. Your first love in undoubtedly special, and it's different than your other loves, but different doesn't mean less than.
I think you need to release yourself from your guilt of moving on; nobody here is the bad guy, Emily's death was unnecessary and tragic and I hope the person responsible was punished. Claire sounds amazing, and not many people would be as understanding. Do you five do anything to honor and acknowledge Emily and Claire's late husband? A memorial on their birthdays or something like that? A ritual honoring and remembering them might be helpful for you. Regardless, I think Claire is correct, that you need therapy. It's also neither healthy or helpful to say Claire didn't love her late husband because people grieve differently – that sounds like misplaced anger.
I wish all of you well.
It's unclear why she thinks this is acceptable. But you've just discovered and you and she are incompatible on this issue. This means you either accept this behavior or you end the relationship. You can't demand someone change their moral code. You can only decide if what they are is what you want.
Threatening to kill yourself if your partner leaves is manipulative and abusive.
Considering there is no reconciling the marriage because she refuses to work on herself, I would give her a timeline of me moving out and she can do what she needs to do.
When I left my ex when we were living in an apartment, I asked my dad if he would consider getting my sister and I a place together because I needed to move. I took my things and said adios. I did not worry about him because he is a grown ass man that could figure a way to keep the apt or move. He ended up finding someone that needed a roommate and they lived together for a while.
She's not your responsibility.
Im getting the sense she will break up with me soon.
Yes, she probably will.
If you are unsure what you want to do, you could hire a career counselor. Just make sure that you hire someone reputable. Not someone who is just a conduit for an MLM or some cult.
Can you at least bring home some dinner next time you bring home an STI? I mean it’s the least you can do, besides not cheating and all…
They can, but under no circumstances would I suggest most people have a child with someone before that person has committed to marriage. It's putting the cart before the horse.
Oh, that's awful.
OP, do you really want your kids to grow up with that mindset? He's clearly shown his true colors here. I can only imagine what would happen if one of your kids came out
Oh, that's awful.
OP, do you really want your kids to grow up with that mindset? He's clearly shown his true colors here. I can only imagine what would happen if one of your kids came out
I would expect her to react, although instead of considering this as a major breach of trust, perhaps as exactly what it is: something I forgot from a long time ago. I understand her immediate reaction, but I sincerly wish she would have asked me if I had just forgotten to delete it – and not immediatly jump to conclusions.
one time after a movie in the theatre I caught her sending him a meme on instagram and she send me the same one and it was about sex and sucking dick
Players are going to play the game. And they can be fun to play with.
But you sure don't build a life with one and expect a partner.
We can't tell you. You're going to have to recognize this is the issue together and determine the absolute minimum you each need from each other to come to a middle ground. Like how much time you have to be together each week to satisfy you without him moving in (3 nights a week? More?), and what his timeline is for marriage exactly.
Hurt him like he’s hurt you? You can’t hurt people who don’t care about you unless you down to do some prison time. He doesn’t give a fuck!
I am sorry, I haven't typed “not” in my comment.
In December, i left a job because it was detrimental to my mental health. My partner between then and the end of February lent me about £800. We were both on the same page that I was to pay him that money back when I got another job. At the start of February I started working again, and as soon as my first paycheck came in I set up a standing order with my bank to send him £200 on the first of the month for 4 months. That way I can't forget, since it comes out automatically, my partner knows that I am in the process of returning the money owed, and neither of us are stressed about that aspect of our finances any more.
Now, I would 100% do the same thing for him, there's no doubt about that. But I do have 3 rules for myself when it comes to loaning money to friends or family.
Never loan money you aren't prepared to lose
Never go into debt to keep someone else afloat (I've been burned by that one before – never again)
If someone shows you that they aren't committed to returning the money owed, they don't get that kind of support from you ever again.
Your boyfriend is 11 years older than you, and has been an adult for 18 years. If he hasn't already gained money management skills and the knowledge of how to show he respects his partners, he needs to learn fast. If he's a trade worker and knows there's a slow season, he needs to make sure he's prepared for that, he needs to know that relying on family and friends is an absolutely last resort. Banks can provide loans for things like car repairs, the only reason I can see that not working is if his credit report is poor, which would also signal a bit of a red flag for the relationship. If he knew he wouldn't be able to afford to pay you back the $1000 in one lump sum, he should have sat down with you and worked out how he was going to pay you back, maybe installments could have been more realistic and attainable (like what me and my partner agreed on).
Other than that, if I was in your shoes I'd be considering if this relationship is something that is sustainable long term and if it's something you want to invest your time, energy, and money in
Don’t apologize I’m just being frank. It sounds like you are bothered a bit and it’s affecting you a lot. Do you have someone you can talk to that’s not one of the twins ?
It's worse to stay with someone primarily because you are avoiding breaking up with them. Would you want someone to do that to you?
That does suck but maybe some time apart will remind her of the reasons you got together in the first place. I hope things work out for you 🙂
Yes but it really isn't that simple. The whole unprotected sex with two other people puts a whole different dynamic on it. That's far more than him taking a stance or her comfort. He didn't just ignore the established boundaries he put her life at risk for his own sexual pleasure without any care for her well being.
No, maybe it is him making you unhappy
You can’t spend your life like this, it will drive you away, I’m surprised you are still there tbh, speak to him, claim your space, and put down boundaries of when he’s allowed to contact you. Don’t let this go on.
It sounds to me like she needs to go NC with you because not only will you not support her, but you’ll alienate her from her children, undermine her parenting at every step, and potentially put her children in danger because you think you know better. Anyone who hates their sister as much as you do should be dead to her. Anyone who is willing to give a potential abuser—and admitted alcohol and gambling addict—access to her children without her consent should get slapped with a fucking restraining order.
OP, you know why. It doesn’t matter what he tells you. He didn’t schedule his vacation with yours because he didn’t want to. He prefers spending his PTO without you. I’m sorry, I know that’s harsh but it’s the truth. The reason you feel unappreciated, strung along and unheard is because your happiness is not important to your boyfriend. If it was, he wouldn’t respond with anger when you try to communicate with him.
Stop listening to his words and look at his actions. Does he treat you like he cares about you? If not, you should reassess what exactly you are getting out of this relationship.
You don’t owe him sex if you don’t want sex.
Honestly, I’d break up. Your relationship sounds like a nightmare
Stop spreading misinformation. Death grip syndrome does not exist and is not recognised by a SINGLE medical professional or medical entity. It's a sexist myth.
OP's boyfriend is just a manipulative POS.
Sometimes you learn what NOT to do.
Is there a way, that they build two seperate apartments in the house?
So you tell him not to come just so you choose be mad at him for not coming? You need to grow up, hun.
You will never have a good relationship if you act this way.
You are an adult. Not a child. Use your words. Tell him what you want. Stop making him guess. He doesn't read minds.
I would set firm boundaries because I honestly wouldn’t want to do that every Sunday. Sounds absolutely suffocating. Twice a month maybe, even once a month would be enough!
Very close” is code for “far too involved” and when you say she’s adamant, does she actually listen to what you want, ever?
The red flags are flying high
What would be a good idea if possible is you both rent an appartment next to each other. He manages to get assistance and you can help him out when needed but you both keep your independance.
I would ask your partner if any of this goes beyond kink. There is a chance your partner could be ashamed and trying to convince themself they aren't trans and this is their outlet.