your boundaries are your boundaries. regardless of what they are, if they can't be respected then you can't stay in the relationship. if he will disrespect one boundary then he will disrespect another, and you can't trust him. trust is the foundation of a relationship.
additionally, don't let anyone tell you porn is not harmful. the more normalized it becomes the more the collective suffers from PIED and other detrimental effects on relationships.
Getting awfully defensive – you came here with the best of intentions looking for help with your girlfriend, you don’t like that everyone is telling you she is the problem. The comments aren’t going how you thought, you thought everyone would sympathize with her and her depression, but we can all see through her shit. I hope you can to!
Someone who really understands BDSM will check in constantly with you to make sure you’re into what’s happening. He’s not doing that. This means he doesn’t know what he’s doing. Which makes him dangerous.
Safe. Sane. Consensual. These are the hallmarks of a good BDSM relationship. I don’t see them in your story.
Actually, I have higher sex drive than him. I always ask him if we can have sex but he doesn’t want it. He’s the type of guy that has a low sex drive. I already told him how I feel. He’s just so in denial and gaslights me everytime, bringing up the past and not looking on what is happening right now. I never cheated, but he did. Even ignored me for a whole month.
My partner fails to comprehend this and disapproves of me being in what he perceives as a 'promiscuous' atmosphere. Recently, we had a heated argument because he didn't approve of me returning home late. It's worth mentioning that I go clubbing only a few times a year, not on a regular basis. I'm perplexed as to how I can make him realize that my intention is to enjoy myself and nothing else!
He is far too old to be controlling. This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. He has trust issues and because he has trust issues, he is now trying to control what you can and cannot do. I'm glad you reached an agreement you find acceptable, but all that is doing is reinforcing his insecurities and validating them. The underlying issue is still present despite this compromise, and I suggest you sit down and talk to him about it so that you can address the long-term concerns rather than slapping a bandaid on it.
Wow, what a jerk. He’s putting you down by calling small dreams you have childish. Honestly it just sounds like stuff you’d see in a movie, the kind of things you want, and they aren’t unrealistic or childish. Obviously they won’t have the same kind of euphoria that is displayed in movies but wanting to do something small and silly doesn’t mean you “have issues” and frankly I think the only issue he sees is that you acted in a way he didn’t approve of. Be prepared for him to put you down about other interests of yours as well.
Ah, extorting an old man for a chance at reconnecting with his kid before he dies — classic!
Yeah, it's a dirtbag move. Don't try to reframe it as it's really just helping your mom (lol). That was her choice to financially support you, it wasn't a debt your father has been absently collecting seeing as you know, you could just not be financially dependent on your mom.
You're 34, a middle aged man. Why are you panhandling for handouts? Why are you leveraging relationships for cash infusions? Are you doing drugs?
We have a disconnected heroine addict brother that uses his gf to 'offer a chance to reconnect' if we 'help them out.' He's a piece of shit, and it's a scam.
Yes it's unethical. Extorting your mean ol' dad doesn't make it magically ethical. This is you wanting free money and a cool scheme involving manipulating emotions to do it. Don't get it twisted.
yes i did know that, i’m getting tested soon i always test with each new partner. infertility is my worst fear
your boundaries are your boundaries. regardless of what they are, if they can't be respected then you can't stay in the relationship. if he will disrespect one boundary then he will disrespect another, and you can't trust him. trust is the foundation of a relationship.
additionally, don't let anyone tell you porn is not harmful. the more normalized it becomes the more the collective suffers from PIED and other detrimental effects on relationships.
But getting pregnant while using 2 forms of birth control correctly is super rare
Getting awfully defensive – you came here with the best of intentions looking for help with your girlfriend, you don’t like that everyone is telling you she is the problem. The comments aren’t going how you thought, you thought everyone would sympathize with her and her depression, but we can all see through her shit. I hope you can to!
Someone who really understands BDSM will check in constantly with you to make sure you’re into what’s happening. He’s not doing that. This means he doesn’t know what he’s doing. Which makes him dangerous.
Safe. Sane. Consensual. These are the hallmarks of a good BDSM relationship. I don’t see them in your story.
“Sorry but I just don't feel the chemistry is right for us. You're a great guy, I just don't want to date”.
Actually, I have higher sex drive than him. I always ask him if we can have sex but he doesn’t want it. He’s the type of guy that has a low sex drive. I already told him how I feel. He’s just so in denial and gaslights me everytime, bringing up the past and not looking on what is happening right now. I never cheated, but he did. Even ignored me for a whole month.
if you dont have anything nice to say just scroll past my post
My partner fails to comprehend this and disapproves of me being in what he perceives as a 'promiscuous' atmosphere. Recently, we had a heated argument because he didn't approve of me returning home late. It's worth mentioning that I go clubbing only a few times a year, not on a regular basis. I'm perplexed as to how I can make him realize that my intention is to enjoy myself and nothing else!
He is far too old to be controlling. This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. He has trust issues and because he has trust issues, he is now trying to control what you can and cannot do. I'm glad you reached an agreement you find acceptable, but all that is doing is reinforcing his insecurities and validating them. The underlying issue is still present despite this compromise, and I suggest you sit down and talk to him about it so that you can address the long-term concerns rather than slapping a bandaid on it.
A person who had misogynistic views a decade ago and OP hasn’t spoken to since, who was a good friend previously.
I know I’m a different person at 32 than I was at 19.
Your concerns are very valid. With the amount of debt she has right now, why does she only bring in 30k right now?
Hold off on marriage until both of you have figured this out.
Abandon ship! Get a better one, this one sinking. Why work your ass off on a sinking ship while you could be on a cruise?
Wow, what a jerk. He’s putting you down by calling small dreams you have childish. Honestly it just sounds like stuff you’d see in a movie, the kind of things you want, and they aren’t unrealistic or childish. Obviously they won’t have the same kind of euphoria that is displayed in movies but wanting to do something small and silly doesn’t mean you “have issues” and frankly I think the only issue he sees is that you acted in a way he didn’t approve of. Be prepared for him to put you down about other interests of yours as well.
Ah, extorting an old man for a chance at reconnecting with his kid before he dies — classic!
Yeah, it's a dirtbag move. Don't try to reframe it as it's really just helping your mom (lol). That was her choice to financially support you, it wasn't a debt your father has been absently collecting seeing as you know, you could just not be financially dependent on your mom.
You're 34, a middle aged man. Why are you panhandling for handouts? Why are you leveraging relationships for cash infusions? Are you doing drugs?
We have a disconnected heroine addict brother that uses his gf to 'offer a chance to reconnect' if we 'help them out.' He's a piece of shit, and it's a scam.
Yes it's unethical. Extorting your mean ol' dad doesn't make it magically ethical. This is you wanting free money and a cool scheme involving manipulating emotions to do it. Don't get it twisted.
Good luck with your life choices