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MonaSoom Public Chat Channel
Date: November 1, 2022
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WeekendPussy
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MonaSoom Public Chat Channel
You realize your word wasn’t good enough, he needed to hear it from another man that you weren’t cheating on him.
Breaking someone’s trust is like breaking a plate. You could patch it all together but the cracks will always show. Fact is, he hurt you deeply and he doesn’t get to decide when or if you forgive him.
Thanks for that ? and all other comments
Maybe girls who seek complimentary validation outside the relationship just aren't for you, man
Your wife is incredibly toxic.
People here already gave a lot of good thoughts. Id add, try therapy again some time and bring up specifically what your husband did in willingly marrying you while lying that he was forced when you were forced by your dad to marry. Yes, definitely cut your dad out for a while. But also it may be good to ask a therapist: how do you work with Niel to see if he can prove he's trustworthy now (or not)? How can you adjust your life so you have some independence Neil is not in control of – your own money (job eventually), your own bank account, friends and your brothers house you can stay with if Neil ever did act controlling, etc. Ask the therapist how they think you might go about working with Neil to rebuild trust, how can he prove to you he's safe and trustworthy now when your initial meeting he lied. And tell the therapist all about your fine current relationship, so you can get an outside eye if there's any red flags or codependency in the relationship you don't notice. Work on addressing any red flags – like money obviously, once you graduate get a job and a separate bank account he can't access so you have some finances he has zero control over. But also anything else, if say you have to ask permission for things people ordinarily don't, if he tells you what you can wear or can't or who you can hang out alone with, etc. I don't know what those things may be, a therapist could help identify it.
Neil may well be nice now, and if he does care about you genuinely then if a therapist does notice he's controlling or codependent then he'll be willing to work with you to fix it. And if he cares about you he will be willing to work on proving he's trustworthy and honest to you now. So yeah… I'd say get a fresh pair of eyes like a therapist to help you objectively evaluate your broken trust with your husband and current relationship. Then work on your own to make sure you have adequate independence and the relationship is mutually respectful and not controlling (since your dad was super controlling anything less controlling you might not notice without outside perspective), and see what ideas a therapist might have on how to rebuild trust with Neil and talk to Neil about what you'll need him to do to show he's safe to trust now.
Dump the BF, get many dogs.
I know full well you won’t listen to anything anyone has to say to you because you’re obviously operating under the delusion that this is your world and everyone else just kinda exists around you. So I’m going to talk to your husband in the hope that he finds and reads this. Man, you deserve so much better than this. She does not and will never love you because she’s only capable of loving herself. Please, just leave as soon as you can- this relationship has been DOA from the start.
you did not listen to that comment at all. some me tall illnesses cannot be helped, like insomnia. but other than that it looks like shes absolutely everything a regular stay at home partner would do. hes literally just upset bc her sleep schedule is different than his, but that has a medical root to it. you dont have insomnia so you dont really get to say “itll get better if you just try”
The queasy feeling is knowing she withheld important info from you and then was manipulative about saying you have to promise to not break up with her once she tells you. Neither would sit right with me and I would leave over that. That’s not a small thing to keep from someone. Especially someone who is sleeping with you. This would be my deal breaker.
It's his boundary and he doesn't like it. He's asking her to stop and she's trying to go against his wishes because it's convenient for her. Not to mention, everyone thinks they're not a bad person until they become one. If you're in a monogamous relationship you should do what it takes to protect that relationship.
People have it in their heads that they can just do whatever they want when they want and that's cool, especially when you're single and you communicate that to whoever you're seeing. When you and your partner communicate and one isn't liking something, instead of trying to get your way, try to work it out.
He is 100% going to do it again. He's probably already done it. If you need to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't watch porn, this isn't the guy for you. Hell, MOST guys aren't the guy for you. I don't think I know any men who don't watch porn at least occasionally.
He will also lie to you about it. You've given him no motivation to tell you the truth about it, given the way you react when you find out he's been watching porn. Why would he watch porn and then tell you about it?
I agree it's a problem that he's asking to watch porn during sex. That's not a good sign. Possibly indicates a dependence on porn. Not sure how to solve this one.
As far as the fact that the girls in the porn look nothing like you, that makes total sense. Men generally need some sexual variety to stay interested (Google the Coolidge Effect). He doesn't need to look at porn with women like you because he literally already has you.
If he isn't “stimulated” by the idea that what he's doing to you is giving you pleasure and the sounds and moves you make don't turn him on enough to keep him hard then he is just a selfish lover and it has nothing to do with his ADHD.