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Date: October 14, 2022
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This is so sad to hear, religion should never be forced on to anyone. I’m sure your parents are doing what they think is best and it’s so unfair that you can’t do anything about it. I’ll recommend you talking to your parents about how it’s uncomfortable for you and how it makes you feel restricted, they might get offended if you “complain” so try to be soft-spoken and share how frustrated you are that you were forced to do that. Maybe throw in you’re starting to resent the religion because of them, because as far as I know hijabs should be a choice to being you closer to the religion, not make you uncomfortable and feel trapped.
PTSD isn't something that can be easily negotiated.
You are not a bad person. You are not her carer either. She is clearly ill.
You have a life to be fulfilled. You can love her and be free too.
It just needs communication.
Bruh I have threesome fantasies and that’s all it is. A fantasy. I agreed to be in a monogamous relationship with my spouse and I am going to respect that. I’ve brought it up, sure, but they weren’t up for it and that was the end of it.
The question is,has he been doing this for 5 years or this behaviour has started just now?
Live your life! You are an adult, so are your parents. What they decide to do is their decision and their problem to deal with the consequences.
That’s a dumb comment. Just because someone feels insecure about a situation and questions it, doesn’t mean they’re cheating.
I’d say that’s a good sign. My current boyfriend uninstalled the date app we met on after our first date too.
Your extreme trust issues are more of a red flag than him preferring to date one person at a time.
Well I mean how one hand your statement is true . he's the best type of person you've ever met.
And on the other hand , it means you need to get out there and meet more people.
You can totally find somebody who will be the way you want, and they won't harm your animals
Your husband sucks on multiple levels. Sorry he pushed you into it and then got mad that his feewings were hurt. Boohoo.
I’m so sorry, I can’t imagine how painful this must be. You deserve better. You deserve people who will support you and your big personal milestones (e.g., engagement and wedding) regardless of who your partner is. Sending hugs.
What can i do? Then . Attracting women has never been easy for me
This is abuse. Without getting too much into it the self harm and threats of suicide are control tactics. Do what you need to get out of that asap before you get emotionally invested
Sounds like my ex… I think the more you disagree her, the more resentful she become.
For a relationship yes get rid of the apps for one date. No, in fact, that would make me think she’s too pushy.
I sure don't want to dis his kink just like I wouldn't want someone to dis my kink. But his is a tad bit to unusual for me.
That's the thing I've been with my clean parents for 25 years of my life but she (a few years older) had roommates, so she said I don't know how to live with ppl, which I feel like is BS bcus if she actually lived with ppl they would've been dirty too or they just didn't say anything and just didn't renew her contract.
my parents have an english cocker puppy and that bitch needs sooo much exercise. my mom and I love walking so it’s not a big deal. I truly don’t understand why people who don’t enjoy walking would get a young dog, especially an active breed.
This is Michael Scott and Ryan's relationship.
Yes. Especially because he's 33 and is acting younger than you.
He said SHE moved on and would be lying if he said he hasn’t. He needs to distance himself and you need to find someone who will love YOU and not be hung up on their ex.
Don’t let small things tear you up. Be confident and let her wear whatever she wants. It has sentimental value to her.
That's fair, it does look padded to say “Well I applied to X jobs” I will drive that distance. It's not a deal breaker, but it was absolutely top five mutually agreed reasons we moved away in the first place. His commute has always been
Nope. You've been friend-zoned by your boyfriend. It's probably 50-50 right now if you can survive this. This is where you need to start inviting yourself along for these dates. Get to know her. Invite her over to your place for dinner. Tell her to bring a date! Lean full into it.
Have you asked your sweet kind loving boyfriend if his work-wife knows he's already married?
Your cousin is correct and he is disgusting. 18 and 24 isn’t that bad, but 15 and 22 is. You didn’t seduce him, he tricked you into thinking you were in control. He is sick. Dump him.
Oh dear. You’re already treading lightly at 7 months? That’s no way to begin a relationship.
That said, don’t you just want to be honest? Your grandmother doesn’t feel well and only wants family visiting. If he cannot handle that, where you are the one hurting, he’s so so selfish.
Much love to you. Enjoy your visit.
Yes, you have lost her. Let her go, do not contact her, and definitely don't send her anything for valentines day. If you did, she would only remember you as “that creepy guy that send me flowers a month after we broke up, when we only dated for a month in the first place” and could even end up scaring her. She will not find it kind or cute or romantic or sweet, it will be seen as stalker-like and creepy
Love her up. My Mom's Alzheimers began in her 70s, She didn't know who any of us were in her 80s. Thank your Grandma everyday for each dollar. Make sure she can still eat.
Trichomoniasis
Then don't threaten to kick him out and give him till Wednesday to clear his stuff out. If he has a car he has a place to live.
So basically you're a party girl and he prefers to chill. There's no advice to give you.
I think your just salty because you’d lower your standards just to have a chance to dine at high end restaurants. Sorry not me.
People pleasers give up what they want to make the other happy, and that IS a problem. But the solution for it isn’t to become so rigid that you end up forcing the other person into to giving up what they want to make you happy. The solution for being a people pleaser is to share what you want, respect what the other person wants and look for win/win solutions and compromises that take both sides needs into consideration. All you’re doing is going from one extreme of people pleasing, to the other extreme of being stubborn.
Amen.
You know the answer. You know you'd wanna know in his position, anyone would, you just want the reddit ok to not disclose because of your guilt over your role in it, and how bad it would make you look.
For what’s it worth, friend I had a one time thing with is a more apt description than “lover”. I hope you didn’t actually use that term when describing your status to your girlfriend.
“I am not with you. I don’t know what I’ll want when I finish college. If someone were to come into my life and rock my world, I wouldnt know if I would want to be with you.”
Fixed it for you. Do you really need to hear anything else? She's willing to be in this pseudo relationship until something better comes along. And maybe one day she will choose you. But I wouldn't stick around when you clearly want a future together starting today and she does not.
Make a decision closer to August. If you stay in your current place and find yourself wanting to visit him a lot and missing him then maybe you will decide to move there.
Pleas keep your baby if you want to. Your marriage was over when he cheated with a friend . NTA
He shouldn't give you a chance.
Ah makes sense
Time to move on, mama. You deserve to have a fulfilled and happy life. It sounds like you guys simply aren’t compatible. I hope you don’t settle for less than what you truly desire. It will be painful to break up but think about what’s on the other side. And I also agree with the other person who commented that it’s better for your child for you to not be in a relationship with someone who you’re basically growing to resent. I’m the child of parents who did that and it was and still is an incredibly painful thing to be around. I wish my parents had divorced sooner so I could’ve gotten used to them being apart.
She’s a drunk. Run.
Good question, but a big reason why is they are manipulated and did not expect their relationship to take such dark turns like this. Unfortunately, during the honeymoon phase and love bombing, it can be hard to spot the early danger signs or see without the rose colored glasses on.
So you condone cheating, being with a cheater, and you are shocked you haven't been to her place? Dude, you are too old for this.
Am I crazy?
Not crazy. Just very insecure. Just stop. Stop stressing about things that aren't important in terms of your relationship. Your bf is allowed to wear whatever the hell he wants. To pursue this would be “controlling” and “crazy”.
Tbh I don’t blame your bf I’d be unhappy if my bf was living with another girl as well
How you handle this will be setting the tone for your entire marriage. It is very disappointing that your fiancé, who supposed to be working on her boundaries, is not backing you up and doesn’t bode well for the future. But the fact is, if you don’t shut this down and make the him regret his plan, he’s going to keep coming. Because that would mean you and your fiancé, let him ruin your wedding, so what’s to stop him from “pranking” your kids? After all kids make the best targets. Can you count on your wife to grow a spine and defend her kids?
Does she have a history of cheating?
If he has no choice he might choose you. Men pursues, especially on women they really likes, as for you did he ever shown any interest to be more than FWB?. Its been 2 years, if he has feelings it would have happened long ago, he probably really has no feelings or because he is complacent coz you are easy to get.
Throw his ass out. When he threatens suicide call the police. End of story.
If he can’t contain himself and his excuse was that he “gave up” on it then he clearly can’t tell her no so she clearly shouldn’t be allowed over anymore. Period. She is disrespecting you and your relationship, on purpose. Why would he even allow someone like that into your shared home?
I did not suggest this idea. She did and I was and still am open.
Don't double down on trying to prove her differently, this is the most important part.
you have boundaries, she has a different set of boundaries. if they dont match, then its better to move on. especially. if she is being a hypocrit about it.
but she says that since I make more and I am the man
And you want to be married to this misandrist, why exactly?
Most likely he has a big folder of stuff that he always holds onto.
Best case scenario he's just saving any nudes he's ever gotten and has a hard time letting go of them.
Worst case – he's cheating, holding porn of people he knows so he can leverage it, or obtaining these nudes through strange means.
Most healthy people delete nudes after a breakup. It's the right thing to do. I would be very uncomfortable to find this on a GFs computer, I would assume she is cheating honestly.
I get that you want to information gather but you're not going through court. Decide if this is a deal breaker, assume he spins the truth a little bit to make it look not as bad, and execute.
On the other side, I feel like it should go without saying that sexting in a relationship is obviously a no go though too.
Eh, not everyone views what is acceptable in the same way, so this is something you need to talk about.
Flipping out isn't appropriate ever.
Trusting your gut is
Now you've been asked many times, but I don't see an answer – how did this man respond to your concerns?
He didn’t post the photo. A girl who’s friends with his ex girl posted the photo. The only photo he posted was him on the beach with his boys. He just assumed i would’ve never seen it. I also don’t know why u think i have false confidence. I didn’t want to date him, he was a comfort person for me while i still continuously hung out and hooked up with my ex (until recently). I’m fr just seeking validation about if he’s sad or not about our situation, especially because h doesn’t know what I’ve done and I’m the victim. Wrong of me i know, but it’s my truth
You need to take him to therapy asap. This guy has issues. Other things as going to come up unless you get to the root of these issues. Marriage counselling or even just personal counselling for him. His reaction was insane.
You need to take him to therapy asap. This guy has issues. Other things as going to come up unless you get to the root of these issues. Marriage counselling or even just personal counselling for him. His reaction was insane.
It's his fault after what you put him through. You had your chance but decided to dance, flirt, and sleep with other people while he wanted to be with you. Wait, you are right it's his fault for staying with you after all that, but at least he was honest with you about waiting to meet someone else, and now he is probably treating you the same you use to treat him.
Don't sweep this under the rug you need to face the fire
You're kidding yourself.
Please do not have children with this person.
Haha no you’re not unreasonable. If she really wants to do that she’s got a thing going with this dude.
OP, please be clear here – none of your husband's choices (which are VERY sus) are your fault.
It is not your looks or personality, it is his unrepentant inability to respect your boundaries.
My parents know how cramped the house is and they know it gets to us. They know my youngest brother (m24) tries to parent my son sometimes and that it royally pisses us off. Their immediate reaction to our announcement was to ask whose fault it is, and to ask whether they can kick them out before we leave.
I don’t disagree with anything you’ve said, and it is exactly for those reasons that I said that OP calling the police wouldn’t do anything. He doesn’t have any marks or evidence that a fight even happened.
Even if it happens again (god forbid) and OP does get a bruise or he gets her to admit it over text, I would suggest that he go to the police himself and file a report rather than call them to his home because of exactly what you’ve said.
I thought the same about them making themselves out to be the victim by how it reads. I had an ex who would do these kinds of things. He'd do something messed up and either gaslight me or tell me how bad He feels for making me feel bad and that he's the real victim and how I should be grateful he's apologizing. It was exhausting she I did nope out of that shituationship 6mo into it.
Op needs to either apologize or let it go.
Depends on the line of work. A wedding ring can be very dangerous to wear at certain jobs.