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Room for online sex video chat MollyBee_
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Languages: en
Birth Date: 2003-12-17
Body Type: bodyTypeThin
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
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Subculture: subcultureStudent
Date: November 5, 2022
You will never trust him ever again, even if he allows you to check his phone. There's always going to be doubt at the back of your mind, like 'what if he has a secret account?' or 'what if he deletes messages?', etc.
This will destroy you in the long run. You will be paranoid all the time, he will blame and gaslight you for his cheating, you're gonna hate yourself, then every woman on earth who gets close to him. You will be miserable and always on endge in the relationship, and based on your post, you already are.
If there is a need for you to go through his messages, leave him. It's not worth it. Find someone who never gives you a reason to question their actions. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
For reals lol! I ain't even a wedding person and I'd be suspicious if I saw someone other than the bride constantly dancing and hugging the groom. I wonder how many of the wedding photos caught them too.
So what were you actually separated from?
Sounds like the only thing you stopped doing was monogamy, or at least one of you
What matters if it was fair game or not via pre agreement
That's a bit vague. What do you mean she has toys? It would be very helpful if you described how you use them. Do you use them together, or does she just use it herself after you're finished or she's on her own? Does she actually like the ones she currently has? You could look for a new one together.
Use them on her, look for toys together. It should to be you pleasing her, with the toys, not the toys themselves. If you're not already doing this, then that's the problem, not your size.
I would suggest couple therapy and also seeing a psychiatrist on your own. I can tell you are a strong woman, but you're holding in so much inside, and the weight is crushing you and stealing all the joy out of your life. You need to talk to someone about how your struggle with things like control. It would be best to discuss with your husband taking on less and developing a detailed plan for handling finances and household chores. As an adult, he must take care of his appointments and focus on his career. This isn't to criticize him everyone needs to learn to take care of themselves. Try to take some time for yourself and explore hobbies. Remember to be kind to yourself!
Does he have any other commitment issues in his life? It could be a therapy type situation?
If you want him to commit to you or see if he will you could work him up to marriage by doing smaller commitments then kinda snowballing it into marriage.
I'm concerned, but I see him online and just not responding to me
If you let it continue one of you may waste precious years to our judicial system. It isn't fun……. Believe me.
It’s time for this to come for an end. You staying with him is not gonna make things better. He will just get more comfortable doing these things even more.
His actions are a red flag ?.
Probably best for you to leave before it escalates.
Before you get your next relationship, learn how to communicate, as while his actions are the main issue, you not communicating properly and getting angry at him is going to cause problems in all future relationships until you address it.
After her hysterectomy and possible chemo she’s going to need a lot of care and the best way to provide that is physically being at her home. Also I have nowhere else to go and my financial situation rn isn’t ideal for paying 700+ for rent w random roommates
If you think looking at someone is cheating or disrespectful then im sorry but i think youre the issue. Not her. Either youre blowing this out of proportion and being insanely jealous. Or youre imagining things. She tried to appeal to you and do exactly what you asked yet you still act actually crazy. You need help.
my intense insecurity
That's probably a big part of it for sure. Being with someone long term who has this is exhausting, so if you're with them only a few months, it's the smart time to get out before either of you are attached.
Babe, you're fucking other people wrong! /s
Yes
You’re forgetting about mental labor.
shopping lists information/scheduling for doctors appointments meal planning for the week kids extra curricular’s (if they have them) Parent Teacher conferences important school related shenanigans
I don’t think people realize how much extra mental labor it is to run a household. SAHM or not.
Bro, it’s over. Get out.
From this day forward you apologize to no one about your past relationship, don’t let them manipulate you into thinking you’ve committed a sin. You should disown whoever dares to make you feel like a criminal, cut them off and be surrounded by positive people only. Pick yourself up, get lots of rest, prepare yourself for your new job and be the best you can be. 2 months from now I wish to read another post from you on Reddit asking “ Why is my life so much better without my toxic family?”
Let him go. You need to move on.
Call me crazy but I don’t think he’s straight.
Signed, a bi woman dating a bi man.
Oh, it's not bad that he's not straight, I'm not straight. But OP here has her head firmly in the sand if she thinks he is. He's flat out macking on other people in front of her and she's convinced he's not cheating because she believes he's straight.
When I was first making out with my first bf it happened to me as well. We didn’t fuck, so I‘m not sure if it is the same, but maybe I can help you.
I didn’t have much experience and was born to a fairly conservative family (German standards, still liberal from an American point of view) in which I was always told sexual interaction was only for engagement and marriage. When my then-bf touched me it was nice for some time, but at some point I saw my mum in front of my inner eye telling me it was wrong. That just broke it for me again and again.
It took a lot of time to solve it so don’t pressure her.
It’s a private moment. Not a show.
He's filling in where BF fails, propping up a failing relationship unknowingly.
You need to withdraw the “extra close boyfriend duties”, attention and support until her relationship is over and clearly communicate that.
She'll either do it, or you don't get strung along.
This dirty old man is embarrassing. He is advertising that he’s a creep. Do you have a grandfather fetish?
That's almost the same. He is a huge asshole.
It seems the two of you have solved all of the world's social, political and scientific problems. Thanks.
You already know everything ?♀️
I would feel confused. I'm open about whatever, they can read it if they want, yet they give me privacy since it's not really something SOs do? Going through their other SO's browsing/reddit history?
But are we talking going through the reddit history without consent? I would be concerned what made them so insecure to feel the need to do that. Communication is very important but it takes two.
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Yes. He’s threatened and hurt you. You need the proof if he ever tries to get custody. In the long run, even though you had legal issues, I would think reporting it would work to your benefit in court over not reporting it. Plus, your and your baby’s safety is most important and you need to protect yourselves. Write down what happened, take your pictures and go to the police. Be up front about everything.
[His parents] gave him a lot of freedom to just play games and stay in his room. Now it's important to know that this is the way he grew up and it's the way he is used to living.
Honestly, it sounds like you and your boyfriend are both using this as a bit of a crutch to justify his behaviour and attitude towards life.
As much as your boyfriend may come from a more priviledged background than you and his upbringing may have resulted in him having a different learning curve than other people his age, he is still 20 years old now and should be aware that he can't just game his life away.
It's great that he has already made so much progress that he is actually paying attention to you when you are physically present, but the rest of what you are asking for is not exactly rocket science either. The notion that it's impolite to consistently be occupied with other things while you're on the phone pretty much falls in the category of “common knowledge”, and I think everyone learns quite quickly that you can't maintain a romantic relationship (or any relationship for that matter) if you don't put in any effort.
I’ve asked to come watch, but they’re always when I’m at work. They can never find a time that also fits my schedule…
My dude, really?
I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but your wife is totally ignoring your concerns and refusing to include you. If there’s nothing going on, then they should both be willing to accommodate you and ease your concerns.
I’ve asked to see some of the photos. But they’re “Not ready yet.”
Then ask to see the raw photos. They’re digital. They don’t have to be ready.
Not every minute detail of the relationship rules need to be spelled out…
It’s implied when you’re in a monogamous relationship that kissing other people is against the rules. The only times that’s not true is when kissing other people has been discussed as to be fair game.
Just like most people don’t discuss crazy stuff like gangbangs or glory holes not being allowed. If it’s not discussed to be allowed, it’s not allowed by default.
I’m gonna have to be harsh. If you can’t socialise with her and live with the fact that she’s already taken, then do yourself a favour and cut her off.
Also add the fact that the co worker says he's in an open relationship. What proof does she have of this? He's making a move on her without his own partners consent. I would move on. There's no going back. She's excited for something new.
Well I agree! But the first reaction was that he got upset! He could have said “oh that’s so nice but I’m exhausted. How about we relax and save that thought for later after I rest a bit?” But he decided to treat her offer of sex as offensive. So it’s not her action, it’s his reaction.
What’s your full time job? Being a low IQ, insecure mouth breather?
I understand now. I didn’t get what you were saying at first. I can’t force him to understand or follow my boundaries, he has to choose to like I do :/
It looks like he is! I hope he finds someone who wants that too!
I would recommend seeking professional help. It’s not a simple process and you need a professional to help guide and support yku.
We have the same philosophy about cheating: don’t
I love the simplicity of this ?
But I can understand why people cheat. They want the love and security of a romantic partner while also being able to date and sleep with other people. I’m having those desires in my current relationship. But I also know it’s better to end it than to give in to them.
Lol, you wish!
Sadly for you I’m very happily married and have with my partner for over a decade. We both think everyone in this thread is pretty insecure and lacks the ability to properly community with their partners or deal with conflict in any way shape or form. We’ve discussed our boundaries and what we would do in literally this exact situation. We know exactly where we both stand and what each other boundaries are because we have a solid foundation and know how to communicate, even when it’s a tough subject because that’s what couples do, you are a team and you work and fight together even when one of you fucks up, so long as both of you want the relationship to work and are willing to put in the work, then it’s worth it, because that’s what love is. You pick each other up and help each other get back on n track.
OP can do whatever he wants, but I personally think OPs boundary was unreasonable.
Drop him and don’t look back. He sounds like a total a-hole who only cares about himself and not for his partners. He likely would have had sex with you without a condom if you hadn’t said anything. He sounds incredibly immature. You deserve better.
maybe let her put one of those apps on the phone so she can get a notification everytime you call, text, open social media or search anything. That might make her feel better. Jfc. Are you good to her? Are you with her often? Do you care about EACH OTHER? Or is this woman only going to be satisfied when she's controls your phone and screen use. Has she questioned you about what you jerk off to yet? That's coming. Has she met your Mom? Probably won't like her.
Gave me strong VC Andrews vibes.
Thank you so much for the long thought out response!! The first little paragraph really hit home. It’s so hard to see these things as a possible result of his mental state, it’s been so easy to take it personally and assume he has bad intentions. I’m certainly not trying to dump him, otherwise i wouldn’t have cared enough to make a post.
Also the other points you made in regards to expectations and making plans are super helpful and help me see the situation differently. As for the friends thing I know that is totally under his own discretion. Not looking to change this about him or force him to do anything, i just saw it as a possible red flag/something I’m concerned about for him. Its tough when i value my friends and time spent with them so very highly and see him never spending any time with his.
Your ending note also resonates with me greatly. Thank you tons!
In a few years you'll probably see this moment as a bullet dodged.
((hugs)) to you. I hope you have a great party and vacation!
What did we say about sticking it in crazy? Fun until it burns.
Can we not act like the breadwinner completely barring their partner from using any of their savings is financially abusive?
Literally. His income isn't just his, if it isn't 1% of their savings – surely for being the caretaker, she deserves access to 1% of the marriage money to potentially waste it on someone she chooses worthy?
You are worth more than your relationship with him. I promise. You deserve more than the 'friends' that abandon you when you are in emotional need. It's time to make you the important person in your life. You are the great person, ok? Once you get yourself on track to being emotionally regulated- you will start feeling better and finding your sense of self.
wait till u start to get bald..
Nah skip all that and show the divorce lawyer. This is unsalvageable and has been a long time coming, clearly.
You deserve better. His actions, mood swings and all the other bullshit you're dealing with are not an excuse for his poor choices.
If they are not aware of each other, then it is ethically wrong, even in polyamory standards. If you are a poly type of person and they are too, then it can work. The fact that none of you is technically poly, is a bad situation. The reason “I did not mean for this to happen” is a lousy one. You made a choice to engage in a relationship with both. A choice is not an accident, OP. So, scenarios: 1. They both find out and you lose both. 2. You make a choice and let one go. But they can still find out. So you may end up alone, anyway. 3. You let both go and focus on how you want to navigate in relationships. Good luck.
You can block him. You are fully allowed to just tell him the conversation made you uncomfortable and you have no desire to continue the friendship. It is okay to burn bridges. Just tell him you aren't conmfortable being friends with him and you would like him to stop responding.
If he keeps at it, tell him you text his gf everything he said, might get him to back off.
But of a generalisation there, many of the people who get upset at the generalising are not the same people getting caught out behaving that way.
Regardless though, people who behave poorly will try to defect and hide it and pretend to be one of the good ones, poor behaving women do the same thing. It's a dishonest person issue, not a gender one.
Oh man!!! I FEEL you!!!
As much as I hate to sound cliché- you gotta trust him.
You have to trust that he cares about you and values the relationship so much that he wouldn’t do anything to ruin it.
Like I said before, I completely understand your feelings and hesitations.
From my own experience, a situation like that would have thinking the worst things and preparing for bad news. I’d literally stay up panicking and just imaging it all.
This is something that has helped me chill out – think about if it was you.
You are going away with a male friend that you view like a brother and someone else. Would you cheat? Or would you hang out and make memories with your friends (all while most definitely missing your partner ?) ?
There isn't a scenario where he can “unassult” you. If he “couldn't control himself” with this what's going to happen next time he loses control during sex? He violated you, and you're far too young to be in couples therapy. It's not your job to heal his wounds especially if he's creating new ones for you.
You’re 18 and engaged, which is crazy. Crazier still, you’re engaged to a 20 year old with trust issues and no understanding of boundaries. Now you want to know if you should block her. Neither of you are mature enough to be in a relationship and should split.
I guess you got a point, I just didn’t really make that much sense to me because at first because she ran me down so much after we split that I figured that she actually had some hatred towards me or something, I just found it weird that she the one random time I ran into her she decided to keep her eyes locked onto me while feeling up on her current bf like I’m supposed to care or something, I’m honestly glad she found someone I just wish she would forget me
Agreed. These people will fuck you up
If you put 10% dog shit in the cookie batter and the other 90% is still regular ingredients, you'll still have dog shit cookies. He should never treat you the way he does. He's abusive and you deserve better.
not only get a lawyer, contact the police, but also to get a restraining order placed on him.
admit that you recorded the conversation and let your brother listen to it. If your real friends want to know what happened let them decide for themselves with the recording.
Most importantly, don't share the file or put it into the cloud. You do not want so called friends to make a copy or send it to this creep.
I thought I was special ???? and then I saw those messages…
This is actually how I mitigate my insecurities a bit when it comes to my bfs female friends I met them once or twice and one of them and I now have our own friendship the other one I couldn't give two shits about personally but atleast I got a feel for the kind of person she is. Ever since that I have had 0 insecurities surrounding said female friends
They don’t call it a good gum job for nothing.
If you do anything assume you will get no response and understand you are owed absolutely nothing from her.
The second you reach out a 2nd time you are harassing her, which by the way you on the edge of doing just contacting her at all.
sounds like you just need to grow up. its normal. like yawning.
For me, the question would be: is he even attracted to cis women? He got you pregnant, so presumably he’s attracted to you. He’s getting married to you, so presumably he’s in love with you also. Clearly, however, he is also attracted to other genders as well. I don’t see that as problematic, As long as, again, he is also genuinely attracted to you. I’m assuming it’s pretty obvious to you why he would not be open and honest with you about this desire, given how much taboo and shame is associated with it still for many people. I just read another post by a guy who is wondering if he should tell his wife that he experimented with sex with men many years ago, and wants to honest with her but he is afraid that she will think he’s gay and leave him. Your post shows that his fear is valid, And it’s not unlikely your fiancé feels the same way.
Also, to be clear, even if he were 100% heterosexual, he would still also be attracted to other women who don’t look like you necessarily. We get lots of posts like that here, “I am a skinny brunette and my boyfriend looks at porn filled with plump, busty redheads,“ for example. You will never be everything your boyfriend desires. He will never be everything you desire if you’re being honest with yourself. But in monogamy, we choose to forgo certain things Because we place a greater value on being faithful to our partner, Even if it means you don’t get to fuck everyone you’re attracted to.
If you don’t want to have a negative body image, look after your body. Don’t put it on everyone else then throw a pity party.
And you told her you don’t want to go. She seems to understand that. So what else is left?
Maybe she didn't cheat on you and really only slept on the couch. I doubt it, bur She did lie to you for sure though when saying where she was. Not a great way to start off a relationship. If she was honest about where she was, maybe it wouldn't have made a difference to you.
If you feel that trust is broken and can't be repaired then just block her number and move on with your life.
Oh fuck off. Stranger stuff happen like that crazy insane woman who dismembered her husband and had sex with him and shit, but a conversation like this can't happen anywhere in the world?
You're just so arrogant that you think anything can't happen to anyone if it can't happen to you, well it happened to me and this sub is supposed to help and yet you don't, so fuck off all of you.
He’s acting like he’s 17 all the while lying about hanging out with a 21 year old.
I understand exactly what you mean, and this would be my ideal situation. I don’t need anyone to tell me or assign to me what needs doing, I just see it and do it. I’d like the same from my partner. The problem is, he apparently sees no issue with living in a mess. If I left anything up to him, we’d be living in a gross, cluttered mess. He doesn’t see something that could use doing, and just take initiative. That’s the reason we’ve (attempted to) set things up the way they are, with things being “split.” But even splitting doesn’t work. He’s even said that he doesn’t care about cleanliness as much as I do, so why should he have to live by my standards?
I’m really at a loss here and considering just giving up and leaving. But I, as per usual, really love him and am saddened by losing him. ?
Do not go back to him.
Why are you tying your finances to a boyfriend? You’re not married. This is dumb. What if you spit up and he cleans out the account? You’ll be penniless u til you have gone through the hassle of chasing him through the courts.
I caught her spilling the news when she was drunk at a party, asked her about it later and she had doubts of telling me or not. They both discussed of having an open relationship with people they trust and approve of for each other. I don't know how to feel about it, I'm naturally a caring and protective person so my first instinct is to help. But helping sexually is not what I had in mind.
These comments are… weird. 1. Only YOU know the right choice about having this baby. 25 is not “too young”. If you feel confident in your decision to have a child – yay, congrats! 2. Hooking up with an ex doesn’t make you a predator who took advantage of him. Pretty normal. Congrats on the sex 3. Ya gotta just tell him ASAP so you can all figure out how to move forward. It doesn’t matter whether or not he cheated on her – that’s not your job to figure out. Everyone just needs all the info 4. I hope everything works out for you! Xo
You’re about to permanently change this guy’s life for the worse. You need to woman up and tell him.
Thats a Bad Doctor.
I'll check for her. What's the link?
This is important. Vasectomies are the much easier and less risky procedure, and quite frankly, most women spend their whole lives responsible for preventing pregnancy, you can see why it would be frustrating that after decades of dealing with pill side effects, you’re then expected to have the more dangerous procedure.
Not to say that OP should have a procedure he doesn’t want, but I can understand the wife’s frustration and why it would be her hill to die on.
OP, you’ve got 3 kids, even if things don’t work out with your wife, would you really want to have more kids with someone else down the line anyway?
Harsh but valid. Her career technically “started” before we met, she just never clarified that fact until recently since we were both very young at the time and she was scared I'd hate her for it. I acknowledge the fact that she is getting a lot of leeway regarding her past in this relationship.
She will baby trap you one way or another.
Stop having sex with her.
Move on.
Thank you so much. I appreciate it.
You don't stop her from going. You decide if you want to stay with her.
I wouldn't want to.
My wife told me he said he's even in love with her. She told me not to worry and that's he's just friends.
Huge red flags! She knows he believes he loves her and still engages with this man. Why? I'd be suspicious why she's even talking to him about anything non work related and why she hasn't gone to HR about unacceptable behavior. Cheaters usually tell you not to worry about the person they're cheating on you with.
I would
This may be a good time for “put a ring on it or walk away”
Is your dad around? An uncle or something? Let them know what he’s doing and that your mom is not reacting in a helpful way.
What is the real relationship between this guy and your mom? What do they do and talk about together?
One who never made a move to make things work with you. Another who is willing to do anything to keep you in his life.
And expected you to drop everything and run after him. Only after you found someone else.
K and I argued for the first time in years in which he confessed that he had hoped we would eventually break up so that I could move over to where K is currently playing. I was very upset and said some horrible things to him because it annoyed me that now he decides to say everything after so long of trying to remain as only friends.
Be rude to him, he’s a creeper and deserves it. My ex bf made a comment to me about my then 16 yr old daughter “joking” that he was going to “take her to Utah and marry her” (he was 56 at the time), and I blocked him on everything immediately. Your mother should be standing up for you and removing him from your lives, period.