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Date: December 13, 2022
Your boyfriend raped you, it's not surprising that your libido and interest in him has dropped to near nothing. It's normal to not be ready to acknowledge what happened for a long time, especially when it's someone close to you, someone you trusted who treated you this way. Please, talk to a professional to work through all of the emotions you're dealing with.
You talk about your mental health and needs- well your wife has those needs too. She wants that job, as opposed to being only a housewife. Support her. Yes it will mean adjusting. Is there other family or medical support services to help you. That may help both of you, for you to get other resources for your mental health management.
Having a home business is great but it can also be fickle. 40 hour week is steady and comes with other benefits. Ask her about her job and her day.
Dress up as Mick and sing some karaoke for her.
Gf you can take to a restaurant, wife you can take to eat at your mum’s house.
Op leaves half an hour early for her job 15 minutes away…. she could be helping her kids get ready. She priorities breakfast and coffee too.
If she’s only been in unhealthy/toxic relationships then being in a healthy relationship for the first time can take some getting used to (and it can feel a little boring but that’s not a bad thing!). What she said was rude but what she’s feeling is normal. It’s normal to feel a little bit bored in a healthy relationship, in fact, it’s a good thing. Relationships are supposed to be safe and drama-free. I’d say you can just talk about it, tell her she hurt your feelings with what she said and work through this problem together. I’m sure she didn’t mean to cause any harm with what she said and, personally, I don’t think saying the relationship is ‘boring’ compared to previous relationships means that she is bored with you. I don’t think you should take what she said too personally because it’s not you that’s the problem at all, she’s just adjusting to a different relationship dynamic.
That's called gaslighting. He literally TOLD you he'd dump you for her in a heartbeat.
My advice would be to write down (with time and date) every inappropriate comment or situation. Every time he tries to enter your room and what is answer is when you ask why he needs to come in. DATE AND TIME EVERY SINGLE TIME. Build a report of these occurrences. Do not tell your mother or her husband that you’re doing this. Also try to get recordings. Collect evidence.
Something else is bothering her
Have you gone no contact yet? If not start there.
let me ask you this: if it's heartless to breakup because he's not showing you love… how is it not heartless for him to not be willing to take the effort to save his karma for you? He's literally saying you're not worth the effort. How is that not the definition of heartless?
It's not heartless to break up because your basic needs aren't being met.
Many people break up for mismatched libidos. Or money. Or work. Or much smaller reasons.
You being offended and ignored because he finds his hand more important than you doesn't make you heartless…
If you had your “eyes opened”, it really that means you have already made your decision just looking for validation.
Pleaee keep in mind that a woman that constantly pursues you after you have made it clear you are in a relationship/not interested is probably trouble.
If your not happy in the relationship then that's fine. But you need to be honest with GF about your “compromises” before you take a ride on the crazy train.
He's your assailant and no longer your boyfriend.
Is mom going on the dates? Is mom getting to know him? You’re literally doing what the mother is doing. Making assumptions. You don’t see the irony in what you said? “You don’t know this man” well neither do you, and neither does the mom.
Bringing new life into the world isn't going to fix her mental or physical trauma from childbirth. Same goes for getting your nuts stomped on.
Following
Part of the problem is that he views difference of opinions as disrespect. He thinks you are disrespecting him because you have a different opinion. That's really dehumanizing. He doesn't think your own personal beliefs are valid and in fact thinks you're rude for having them. I don't understand how you have lived with a man like this for so long.
When my ex was pregnant with our daughter, she had a sensitive nose as well, but not to any particular things like my wife does. I just asked my ex yesterday when did it stop, and for her she said it was a week before she gave birth. Ha, I totally didn't notice. Don't know if it will be the same case for my wife.
You are not in a relationship. You are roommates.
You’ve outgrown him, because he’s chosen to remain a child. It can be your choice to cut away the dead weight that’s holding you down.
It is time to go NC with Kate & her family and completely move on from your failed relationship with her.
She is not a compatible potential spouse and sounds too immature & prone to peer pressure to have a healthy adult relationship.
Either keep the ring and bury it in your back yard in a time capsule or sell it on ebay in 2028 with a summary of its history and the end of the relationship with Kate.
Good luck and take care of yourself !
Exactly, either I continue on same path rn without talking or I end up with a new friend, seems like a reasonable gamble. I just wanna sit on it a bit longer to make sure this is exactly what I want. I’m not planning to have that ulterior motive, my concern is say we do become friends, what happens if that physical or romantic attraction comes back? Don’t wanna have to fight to suppress that
I would definitely start wondering what “getting out of hand” means here, because it doesn't sound good. You have a few days to think about what's next, use it. On Monday, if you two will meet, you can talk with him.
I would definitely start wondering what “getting out of hand” means here, because it doesn't sound good. You have a few days to think about what's next, use it. On Monday, if you two will meet, you can talk with him.
I would definitely start wondering what “getting out of hand” means here, because it doesn't sound good. You have a few days to think about what's next, use it. On Monday, if you two will meet, you can talk with him.
Trust your gut. It's time to be real with yourself. This is not a man who is prepared to be a husband, much less a father. His age probably plays a part in that.
If you stay with him, he will cheat again. The fact that he didn't even OWN his choice and tried to pass it off as mistaken identity says so much about his poor character.
Same for your sister not reaching out. What a despicable coward.
You need to have a talk with your parents to try to set a boundary. Obv you cannot ask them to not have a relationship with their other child. But you can ask that she not come to the house while you are staying there under emergency circumstances. They can meet at her place or wherever. If they won't agree to that boundary, explain that you will find an alternative place to stay for you and their grandchild.
Cut him and her off and don't look back. Maybe, years from now, things will be different, and they will change and grow as people. But today, as it stands, these are not people who respect you or love you the way you deserve to be loved.
They're selfish children, and you deserve better.
|| If you have ADHD it affects you the opposite way than if you didn’t.
No. It’s a psychoactive drug that affects your brain
I would say yes and no – Physically yes, the neurochemical acts the same way – adding dopamine and norepinephrine. But it also has different results (tho the same effects) on non-ADHD brains.
Dopamine/Norepinephrine Bell Curve ______ _/ \_ _/ \_ / \ _/ \_ ———————– 0 1—>2 3—>4 5 1- ADHD no meds
3- no ADHD no meds
2- ADHD with meds 4- no ADHD with meds
But with addiction, you end up with 1—>4 and 3—>5
If you are pregnant you need to get away from that scene for the sake of your kid. Do you want your toddler getting into that shit accidentally.
Don’t? You cried over something incredibly reasonable to be emotional about. She’s being awful.
Proposing won't solve anything. It's likely to just get worse. You're so fixated on fixing her, but you can't fix her. She will always believe this, most likely, and she'll force it on any kids you have too.
Is, it sweating a choice?
Lessons I've learned the hard way:
Don't ask questions you can't accept the answer of.
Don't let them go on about their exes too much. It sucks to be broken up with or lose someone you really cared about by betrayal. But you and your fiance set yourselves up for failure by making this the status quo for three whole years. Make some boundaries on the issue. He needs to process this shit and move on before the wedding.
I thought this was posted by a 14 year old I am bamboozled
She sounds like a self absorbed AH. Like i cannot imagine making your partner go through this and then having the audacity to say “Your eyes look bad”. Please break up with this person. She doesn't not give a shit about you and she's acting oblivious to the fact that she's risking your health on purpose.
Is there any chance the male half of the couple pushed this type of relationship onto his partner & she just feels obligated to attempt to be nice to you? If that were a possibility… it could very well be true that she's not overly into you, feels pressured to act nice, is not a 100% consensual participant in these activities. Open, honest, & detailed communication is desperately needed asap. This arrangement could also be triggering for her BPD, or she may not really have that issue & her mood swings are from the stress of her situation.
Talk to your son about your wife’s actions. Chances are she’s saying some mean things to your son when you’re not around. I mean if she’s saying crap like this to strangers it won’t be a stretch to think she’s not doing it behind your back to him.
You two don’t belong together. It’s that simple.
Yes but you also said he has a much higher sex drive than you? So presumably if he came to you EVERYTIme ( 1 or 2 times daily) you would say yes? I bet not. So you'd be turning him away quite a bit. You are likely sexually incompatible
My thoughts exactly. OP sounds like a controlling arse.
Basically he wants you to put up with whatever he dishes out to you in those 28 days. He is trying to control you so that he can do whatever he likes. He is shifting the blame onto you.
I hate that I walked myself into this lmao. It’s called being a dik.
I agree, a conversation outlining exactly how OP feels and that she's just been through earth-shattering trauma and spelling out that if hubby wants kids he's got to be a mature partner and put his family first, which includes OP, she's not just a bangmaid/vessel for his future children.
My partner has said some weird stuff in the past and I've addressed it each time by talking with him. He used to make fun of stuff that I did that was important to me, I told him not to, he stopped. Nobody's perfect and communication is important. Some people really need things spelled out to them.
Similarly my partner wanted our daughter to study science while she was drawn to the arts. Once I'd explained what would happen if he put his foot down, he understood and has been very supportive of her career choices ever since.