i see you commented that you believe, due to others comments, that you should quit your job. i dont think you should jump to that conclusion immediately. try to get transferred to another person, you can use the excuse that the comments he made have made you uncomfortable and unable to feel you can continue serving his needs at this time. just because its happened once doesnt mean it will happen every time. these things will get easier in time, and asking for advice on how to avoid a negative outcome for both you and him should not lead to this level of condemnation you are receiving from the commenters here.
Shes dating someone else, she doesn't want to be with you. Even if you want to be with her, it is what it is.
The only thing here you have control over is yourself. Stop pining and focus on things you like (that arent her). Work towards things that make you happy on the long run. With time you will also find someone you like again, who likes you back, instead of chasing someone who doesnt want you.
About the friendship, you still have feelings for her so you can't be friends, perfectly normal. You need time to get over her and the breakup, so take that time and distance yourself. Avoid her irl and on social media, and you'll get over it. You can tell her and your cousin that you don't feel comfortable talking to them and/or that you need time away from them.
Its your body and your choice to sell feet picks but its also his body and his choice to leave you for someone who wont use manipulation tactics on him.
Yeah, okay, ouch. Maybe it does mean something that your comment hit so hard. But dear God, I don't even know how to think about breaking it off, our lives are so tangled togther.
There is a reason this man is dating someone so much younger – it’s because he thinks you’ll be easier to manipulate and control. He does not get to demand your attention at all times. He does not get to spam your phone when you are just out with a friend. Dump him immediately before you are in too deep to get out safely.
As a 25 y/o male, I cannot imagine dating someone that could not legally drink alcohol or go into 21+ establishments with me. 19 and 25 is a MASSIVE age gap at this point it our lives. He’s likely into an actual career and working on getting established at this point and you are likely trying to figure out what you THINK you want to do with your life.
My two cents are to listen to all those around you in this situation, and question his motives for being with someone so much younger at this age.
This is the 'sunk cost fallacy'. Basically it's trying to keep at something you can't fix/win because of previous investment. Carnival cheats use it. It's why I put $3000 of repairs in a vehicle worth $3500 and watched it die the next day.
The answer is “cut your losses”.
For 5 years, if you think it is just time and not emotional, give him 1 shot at blocking her and focusing on you.
Is there a reason that the thought of him replacing you worries you? It sounds like that might be the best thing for everyone, except maybe the new potential GF.
Nah, that seems pretty psychotic and insecure to me.
A person is not anybodies “thing”.
If I can “verify” everything she says, honesty becomes meaningless because lying is impossible. There is no trust. Eventually in every relationship you end up in situations you can't verify, or in situations where you need to rely on your partner, and if they don't follow through you're screwed.
If I've made the experience that my partner values me and acts with my happiness and wellbeing in mind even if they could reasonably do the opposite, I can blindly trust them when it counts. If they just never have the opportunity to hurt/deceive me, I never learn that they are trustworthy. I only learn that they aren't stupid enough to screw me over when they know they'll get caught.
So no. If my partner wants me to have their location so I can “verify” things, that tells me they don't trust themselves to be honest with me otherwise. And if I feel like I need to be able to “verify” things instead of just asking them and believing what they say, I don't trust them.
Why would I want to be with someone I don't trust absolutely? That seems really lame and stressful.
—
If you need to “verify” anything to feel safe in your relationship, that's not a relationship worth being in.
This guy is text book creep! ??? ?
i see you commented that you believe, due to others comments, that you should quit your job. i dont think you should jump to that conclusion immediately. try to get transferred to another person, you can use the excuse that the comments he made have made you uncomfortable and unable to feel you can continue serving his needs at this time. just because its happened once doesnt mean it will happen every time. these things will get easier in time, and asking for advice on how to avoid a negative outcome for both you and him should not lead to this level of condemnation you are receiving from the commenters here.
Shes dating someone else, she doesn't want to be with you. Even if you want to be with her, it is what it is.
The only thing here you have control over is yourself. Stop pining and focus on things you like (that arent her). Work towards things that make you happy on the long run. With time you will also find someone you like again, who likes you back, instead of chasing someone who doesnt want you.
About the friendship, you still have feelings for her so you can't be friends, perfectly normal. You need time to get over her and the breakup, so take that time and distance yourself. Avoid her irl and on social media, and you'll get over it. You can tell her and your cousin that you don't feel comfortable talking to them and/or that you need time away from them.
Wishing all the best, you'll get over it 100%
Its your body and your choice to sell feet picks but its also his body and his choice to leave you for someone who wont use manipulation tactics on him.
The bigger issue here is finance. If you can’t afford it, it won’t work regardless of the cat.
Yeah, okay, ouch. Maybe it does mean something that your comment hit so hard. But dear God, I don't even know how to think about breaking it off, our lives are so tangled togther.
She is claiming the shot. Again, I am not an expert, but I am fairly well educated on reproduction and this just doesn't sit well.
I am thinking of ending it.
It’s time to leave bro
If it were me, I'd suggest getting an apartment just for ourselves and see how he reacts to that.
The fact that he wants to continue being this close to her even knowing how uncomfortable it makes you is already a little iffy in my opinion.
My man's 24 and not getting any sex.
What's the point of being in your 20s at all?
*is my husband just a pig?*
Yes. Yes, your husband “is just a pig”.
What I am wondering about, Op, is, how much longer will he be YOUR pig?
The ball/pig is in your court. What are you going to do?
Bi curious, other girls are bi so fun for everyone
Sounds like you fucked around, and find out.
There is a reason this man is dating someone so much younger – it’s because he thinks you’ll be easier to manipulate and control. He does not get to demand your attention at all times. He does not get to spam your phone when you are just out with a friend. Dump him immediately before you are in too deep to get out safely.
As a 25 y/o male, I cannot imagine dating someone that could not legally drink alcohol or go into 21+ establishments with me. 19 and 25 is a MASSIVE age gap at this point it our lives. He’s likely into an actual career and working on getting established at this point and you are likely trying to figure out what you THINK you want to do with your life.
My two cents are to listen to all those around you in this situation, and question his motives for being with someone so much younger at this age.
This is the 'sunk cost fallacy'. Basically it's trying to keep at something you can't fix/win because of previous investment. Carnival cheats use it. It's why I put $3000 of repairs in a vehicle worth $3500 and watched it die the next day.
The answer is “cut your losses”.
For 5 years, if you think it is just time and not emotional, give him 1 shot at blocking her and focusing on you.
Oh we completed that.. thank you for your advice. Have a lovely weekend
Is there a reason that the thought of him replacing you worries you? It sounds like that might be the best thing for everyone, except maybe the new potential GF.
Nah, that seems pretty psychotic and insecure to me.
A person is not anybodies “thing”.
If I can “verify” everything she says, honesty becomes meaningless because lying is impossible. There is no trust. Eventually in every relationship you end up in situations you can't verify, or in situations where you need to rely on your partner, and if they don't follow through you're screwed.
If I've made the experience that my partner values me and acts with my happiness and wellbeing in mind even if they could reasonably do the opposite, I can blindly trust them when it counts. If they just never have the opportunity to hurt/deceive me, I never learn that they are trustworthy. I only learn that they aren't stupid enough to screw me over when they know they'll get caught.
So no. If my partner wants me to have their location so I can “verify” things, that tells me they don't trust themselves to be honest with me otherwise. And if I feel like I need to be able to “verify” things instead of just asking them and believing what they say, I don't trust them.
Why would I want to be with someone I don't trust absolutely? That seems really lame and stressful.
—
If you need to “verify” anything to feel safe in your relationship, that's not a relationship worth being in.