86 thoughts on “MIA-JEROENSKY live webcams for YOU!”
Your kids come first. Can you imagine your parent being with someone who doesn’t tolerate you being around. You’ve painted it as if it was a complex question but this relationship can harm your children’s well-being.
“I've had feelings about the extent to which this relationship has crumbled and I admit to checking your phone to confirm those suspicions. Wife, I know everything so you're not helping me by continuing to lie, and I'm not going to continue to disrespect you by pretending I don't know the whole story. It is what it is, and we're both at fault for it. I would prefer that we had forgiveness for one another and could at least talk cordially at the end of this process. I am sorry I betrayed your trust, and I am angry that you betrayed my trust. We both need to take accountability for our flaws. Anyways, there's just not any point to hiding it anymore and I'll listen if you have anything else you think I need to hear.
To everyone asking why he isn’t blocked, just know there is a level of fear that blocking will escalate behavior. OP might be attempting to be nice. And I understand “feeling bad” for the abuser. This is how they get people to stay right? But girl, it’s not time to play nice anymore. You do not have to be alone in this process, seek out resources. Keep records, contact local domestic violence group, and get a protective order.
To everyone asking why he isn’t blocked, just know there is a level of fear that blocking will escalate behavior. OP might be attempting to be nice. And I understand “feeling bad” for the abuser. This is how they get people to stay right? But girl, it’s not time to play nice anymore. You do not have to be alone in this process, seek out resources. Keep records, contact local domestic violence group, and get a protective order.
Employment lawyer asap! The mistake you made was going to your place of employment to get advice on something that would hurt them financially and their reputation. Never do that. They will always seek their best interest, not yours.
Next, proof? It doesn’t sound like you have any. So, phone records of your ex. Did you pay the bills on the phone accounts? Hire a PI. Any old devices of your ex? Apple account still logged in? I mean, this is going to be difficult, but you may have to ask your ex if she’s willing to provide you with help. That’s if you two ended thing on decent terms. The fact that she told you says something.
Did anyone else know? Is this a he said she said thing? Did she make it up? Is your ex possibly making this up?
You’re in a horrible position man. I’m sorry. You have too many questions, not enough answers and now out of job because you asked questions to the wrong people.
Stop talking to others and go sit with a lawyer if you have the money.
Actually this is good advice that I might need to take into consideration… I’m not sure how expensive a layer is but I don’t really have money of my own right now.
And yes I do have a safe place, I can stay with my parents
“My (19F) boyfriend (33M) of almost two years won’t introduce me to anyone in his life. He’s still technically married and his wife is pregnant with their second set of twins and he says he’s going to file for divorce soon, but it’s complicated. Should I book a wedding venue for the summer or push to the fall?”
Every comment: OMG BREAK UP
One certified non-genius: Maybe suggest couples counseling?
OP: Wow, I didn’t expect to get such rude judgement on my partner. He’s so wonderful except for this one thing!
Yes, but that has nothing to do with the point I’m making though. You seem earnest enough so I will try to explain my viewpoint in more detail. I’ll use the short skirt example.
The point is that victim blaming is putting the onus on the victim rather than the perpetrator. Why shame someone who didn’t do anything wrong, when you would be well within your right to shame a rapist, a murderer? Why choose the victim to get mad at before you get mad at the shithead who did the crime? Is it because you want to think that horrible crimes are something within everyone’s control, and as such, you are comforted knowing you’d never make that decision so it will be easier to talk shit on the person who did?
Perpetrators of violent crime have control over themselves just as the victim does. They are human beings with free will, and they’re the ones that need to be blamed. Excusing men as simply “animals” gives them no credit as human beings with free will at all. They are people with the ability to make the right choice, and in these scenarios, they didn’t. Who’s more at fault, the person who chose to wore something they liked, or the person who chose to rape them because they felt they deserved it? Isn’t rape objectively worse than wearing a short skirt?
As a society we need to keep the focus on telling people not to be rapists and murderers, rather than telling women not to wear short skirts. Shame the perpetrator far more than the victim because they chose to do it when they did not have to. Not a person in the world made them rape someone. So hold them accountable. Currently we act like they’re unchangeable, primitive apes, and everyone else should alter their behavior for them instead. That’s an infantilizing attitude towards a grown adult, honestly. They aren’t primitive apes in the slightest.
We will never get rid of crime, for sure, but it doesn’t mean we should try to be better. And it doesn’t mean victims of things like sexual assault deserve to feel even worse for their clothing choice when they aren’t the ones that chose to physically assault someone. Does that make sense?
Have her stay a few days at her brother’s house and take care of the baby so she realizes how hard it is. They can get a break and she can do the diapering, mom can pump so she can do feeding with no sleep, basically everything the parents do and see if she still wants one.
She wasn’t sad while talking about it because she grieved this relationship while you were away for a month at a time.
You’re right that she probably didn’t understand the true toll this job would have on her and on the relationship.
Short of getting a new job I don’t see how you can come back from this.
If you keep your job you need to be aware that this could be a dealbreaker for other relationships, most people want a partner that can be there for the day to day stuff that happens or comes up in life. Not someone who is gone for a full month every other month.
Yes, suicide is a very selfish act. The only time I would disagree with this is if your parents are 78 to 110. If they don’t wanna live anymore after that I think they get the choice.
Just because toxic comes in family size doesnt mean we have to deal with it. Cut the crazy, cold turkey no contact. She will ALWAYS be the victim and you will forever be apologising otherwise.
I think you keep asking because you're hoping that his answer will change. That he's going to tell you that you're perfect and the most attractive person out there. That's not really realistic though and obviously there is more to you than being physically attractive. In my opinion, it's better to have a partner that will be honest and up front with you, even if they know you're aren't going to like the answer. It will serve your relationship better in the long run, as long as you're willing to communicate with him in the same way.
Are you kidding? None of this would have happened if the other girl hadn’t said anything. Don’t put this all on the mother of your kid…unless you’re hoping to hook up with this troublemaker again.
You made an agreement, and he has no right to expect you to act as a mother when that was not the agreement.
I do believe you screwed yourself over by not having a legally binding agreement drawn up. It will probably cause you a lot of problems in the future. You might want to see an attorney now to see if anything can be done.
It will get better. And it’s understandable you feel like a widow. Three months wasn’t long enough to adjust to life without him and get used to your ‘new normal’. Be kind to yourself. Grieve, rest, try and eat. Be gentle while you work through this. If you can maybe try some counselling. Hugs honey .
You could partially use the long distance, but also let him know you feeling you are moving apart (emotionally) and do not have the motivation or interest for an inherently difficult long distance relationship.
If he offers to follow you tell him you don’t want that
Tell him you have no issue with moving out, but he needs to give you time to come up with a plan that is reasonable and safe for you. Perhaps a month or maybe 2. During that time, you both can simply act like roommates.
If he needs space, there’s nothing you can do to change his mind. I know it’s scary, but it also seems like you’re completely dependent on him emotionally and mentally. That’s not healthy at all. You need to be responsible for yourself in those areas. This breakup will likely be good for you in the long run because you really need to focus on yourself and work on being able to be content being alone and being able to support yourself, not just financially. Once you focus on yourself and repair those areas, your next relationship will likely be less toxic and healthier overall.
Once you’re settled or even now, consider looking into some self-help books regarding ‘being happy being alone with yourself’ or topics similar to that. I think they’ll be really insightful for you. If $ is tight, check to see what your local library has that you can borrow for free.
This sucks for sure, but you CAN do this!! You were a capable person before your BF, and you will be capable again!
I love my parents, I wish they could accept me as I am. Why do I have to face this? It’s not fair. I didn’t ask for this sexuality, if I was straight my life would be perfect or if my parents were open minded my life would be perfect as well.
I’m a very good looking guy too, I sure have kissed some guys. I’m still processing everything as I no longer live with my parents. I think that I’ve hidden my sexuality for so much time that now I don’t know how to put it into practice. I want to go with a therapist but it’s very expensive and I don’t have the money.
He might be interested in you for other reasons besides your looks. I love my wife for so many reasons other than looks.
Also, not finishing can be caused by many factors and he might actually be self conscious about it. What if the reason he doesn't want public sex is because he knows he can't finish even in the comfort of the bedroom?
Sex is full body. Masterbation requires a hand/arm. A guy can move his arm for much longer than his whole body.
He might need to talk to his doctor about it. There are several pills to help. There may be an underlying condition he doesn't even imagine that is sapping his manhood.
This ⬆️⬆️⬆️you’ve spent half your posts telling us what he will say, why don’t you let him say it? You don’t actually know all the results of this imaginary conversation your having. Actually let him make these choices, it’s not up to you if he wants to “ruin“ his relationship, that’s his choice, let him decide.
Why are you dating men so much older than you? They’re usually interested in women that much younger because they either believe you’ll be easy to manipulate or women their own age find them toxic or immature. How do you know R was really divorcing? He lies to you and the woman he was with could have been his wife. It sounds like he likes stringing you along for attention, sex or as an option while he pursues others or is with his wife. I would go no contact and reevaluate why you’re involving yourself with at least 2 much older men.
Without more context, you're both very young, got together when you were 15 and he was 17. I'm guessing you're having a bit of FOMO (fear of missing out).
Up until this moment I didn't know this feeling had a name but you may be so right about that. If I'm being honest with myself – I used to think that if I ever broke up with him it would be stupid and that this relationship wasn't worth it as I'd lose a lovely person in order to just satisfy my curiosity, however I don't feel that anymore when I think about it – now it's more like I'm limiting myself to someone who I don't consider irreplacable(sounds terrible, forgive me lord).
Regardless of what choice you decide to make, just make sure you stick too it, and make the best of it. Try not to look back as though you should've made the other decision.
And that is what I needed to hear, not just about that but about any other life choice. Thank you, you helped a lot.
Did we all have a stomachache on Valentines day? He told you from the start that he doesn't like those things, even if you do he doesn't.
Doesn't exactly mean he is not serious, he did wanted to see you after all, even if for a walk because he was in pain (which he can't control) but just like you don't have to tolerate someone not doing what you want/like he doesn't have to make himself do something he does not feel comfortable with, specially after he told you that he doesn't like those things.
If this is a deal breaker for you then that's okay, but you can't expect someone to do something that, in their words “makes him cringe” just because you like it, it's not fair for anyone.
It sounds like you don’t have the bandwidth to participate in the kind of relationship she’s looking for. And that’s totally ok. It just doesn’t sound like your lifestyles and goals are compatible right now.
You have no time for a girlfriend. Maybe you need a friends with benefits instead. Someone to use for when you feel like having sex or whatever bit doesn’t need attention otherwise.
You have no time for her. I’m not sure why you think anyone is going to be like, yeah, that girlfriend is ridiculous thinking she needs to spend like any time at all with you! How dare she?!
You okay on moving anyway for your program where she’s not wanting to go, so it will end anyway. Save eachother a bunch of time.
Video chat or break it off. I’ve don’t LDR before and we basically lived on WhatsApp video when we weren’t working. It’s weird as anything that you haven’t video chatted yet.
It seems like this is the first time he's trying these jokes on you.
Let's be honest here. What he's doing is not a joke or funny. The things he does are mean and he is not called out on it so he continues to do so. At this point, its also a point of pride and power for him that he gets to do these things with no repercussions.
This is him trying to pull a power move at your wedding.
If you allow this to happen, it will keep happening.
You need to be very firm, very serious, and very direct with your fiancé first, then all the in laws.
You do not appreciate these pranks. You do not think they are funny. If anyone attempts to play a prank at the wedding you will consider it rude to you and they will be escorted out.
You will get pushback. Stand firm.
You may want to hire a bodyguard to ensure your day goes respectfully.
Do not give up that interview for your dream job, if she was that bothered this could be great for you both, she should be supporting you, not making this about her!
She had literally nothing to do with “how it all went.” The woman’s demand was insane, and also not how getting a haircut works.
I swear there’s like some unwritten rule of Reddit that the OP will only engage with the most absolutely clueless, wrongheaded takes about their situation. Case in point.
I would just let him know by phone or text that things between you guys aren’t working out and it is time to part ways. Tbh, I wouldn’t waste my time or gas driving 2 hrs to tell him in person, especially since he never made any effort to see you instead.
I really don't know why she would still insist we were friends unless she was lying through her teeth for an entire year. I think that'd be tough to fake, especially since I gave her ample opportunities to let me down gently, but still be clear about it so I didn't get the wrong idea. Seriously, I thought she wouldn't want to keep in contact. I would ask every so often, and she always told me we were friends and she wanted to talk (with the exception of the most recent occurrence). Also, we rarely, if ever, spoke about her ex/my boyfriend, even when they were together. Mostly just talked about work and other life updates.
Everyone needs some measure of personal space. Some more than others.
Some people, like your girlfriend, put Quality Time as one of their primary love languages. They may also have less in the way of hobbies or other friends to keep them occupied.
It can become a problem if you dont communicate your needs properly. Its worth talking about individual needs for alone time, as well as how you each like to show love and receive love. Some couples skip the basics and break up 10 years later because they never even understood what types of affection were important to one another. Physical Touch, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts. How do you categorize those things?
He is so nasty for dealing with you and your car like this, and he's doubly nasty for dating an 18 year old as a 27 year old.
Men this much older than you do not have good intentions. They are planning to use you for sex, or other things… Like your car. They are choosing someone very young with little adult experience because that is someone they think will be easy to manipulate and control.
Don't go back to this guy and please avoid this sort of outrageous age gap in the future
Yes I tried but her response any time I bring up any dissatisfaction with our relationship is “so leave me” and she refuses to engage in any constructive conversation about it or any compromise.
It’s possible but as someone else experiencing similar I’d ask you, if the shoe was on the other foot and it was her with the problem, would it be over? I assume the answer is no and so perhaps it’s worth giving your wife the benefit of the doubt before making any assumptions. Statistically women are more likely to stick with their husbands through medical adversity than the other way around so that’s another point of consideration. End of the day there are ways to address it with current technology and it’s all dependent on what exactly is wrong. Chin up my friend these issues are more common than you might think and bearing the burden alone is not something you need to do.
Do not keep dating a conflicted hypocrite who judges and disdains you for sexual acts they consented to and enjoyed. Never reduce yourself to trying to be with someone who will use you for pleasure then hate you for giving it to them.
Religious and patriarchal control both stem from insecurity. Jealousy stems from insecurity. Being a virign and wanting a virgin stems from VARIOUS insecurities surrounding sex entirely.
Ignorance about a woman's body and thinking that is somehow a detriment to you is still insecurity my dude.
Basically he is asking for permission to bang your wife with your permission. The fact that your wife didn't totally dismiss the idea and cut contacts with him tells a lot!
Guilt will make you unhappy and less fun to live with. Do your husband the best favour and forgive yourself. He will not enjoy your wallowing & soul searching.
You only want to 'make it up to him' to make yourself feel better about what you did ,which is a little selfish when he has stated doesn't want or need anything from you.
You can't do anything to erase what happened. But life will send you more testing times and afford you the opportunity to be even better than you are now. Looking back will only drag you down.
Guilt will make you unhappy and less fun to live with. Do your husband the best favour and forgive yourself. He will not enjoy your wallowing & soul searching.
You only want to 'make it up to him' to make yourself feel better about what you did ,which is a little selfish when he has stated doesn't want or need anything from you.
You can't do anything to erase what happened. But life will send you more testing times and afford you the opportunity to be even better than you are now. Looking back will only drag you down.
Guilt will make you unhappy and less fun to live with. Do your husband the best favour and forgive yourself. He will not enjoy your wallowing & soul searching.
You only want to 'make it up to him' to make yourself feel better about what you did ,which is a little selfish when he has stated doesn't want or need anything from you.
You can't do anything to erase what happened. But life will send you more testing times and afford you the opportunity to be even better than you are now. Looking back will only drag you down.
Here’s the issue with all of this….. if she was hoping you’d define the relationship, and she had feelings for you at all, including RESPECT, she’d have come to you and say “hey, our relationship isn’t defined, and there’s someone else asking me out…” she didn’t say ANYTHING until confronted, and her excuse was “Oh, I was just having a fling while you figured out what you wanted to do,” like that is supposed to make her what? More endearing to you? Now, you’ve realized she’s still lying. Yes, I say still because lying by omission is LYING.
Im sorry to tell you this, but she WOULD be entertaining it. If she had ANY feelings for you at all, she’d have come to you and said something along the lines of “this is just casual, right? Because….” This chick just showed you EXACTLY who she is without realizing she told you who she is! BELIEVE HER!!!
She’s playing with you. You seem to automatically want to blame yourself for not defining the relationship, but at the 6 month mark, it’s pretty clear there’s definitely some type of relationship between you two, and if she couldn’t communicate to you she wanted your commitment, she’s not the one!
I’m sorry. But this isn’t your fault. There’s a serious lack of respect on her end. I’m twice your age, and I’ve been there and on the receiving end of it. She wants her cake and eat it too. The fact she was seeing you, then stepped out….. yeah, you’re NOT a priority. I know you don’t want to hear this. I know facing it is hurtful, but better now than a year from now!
You clearly haven’t stepped up to the plate and wanted to commit to her and a real relationship. You’re “figuring out what you want” – if you want monogamy then ask for it and be willing to commit
Your kids come first. Can you imagine your parent being with someone who doesn’t tolerate you being around. You’ve painted it as if it was a complex question but this relationship can harm your children’s well-being.
“I've had feelings about the extent to which this relationship has crumbled and I admit to checking your phone to confirm those suspicions. Wife, I know everything so you're not helping me by continuing to lie, and I'm not going to continue to disrespect you by pretending I don't know the whole story. It is what it is, and we're both at fault for it. I would prefer that we had forgiveness for one another and could at least talk cordially at the end of this process. I am sorry I betrayed your trust, and I am angry that you betrayed my trust. We both need to take accountability for our flaws. Anyways, there's just not any point to hiding it anymore and I'll listen if you have anything else you think I need to hear.
To everyone asking why he isn’t blocked, just know there is a level of fear that blocking will escalate behavior. OP might be attempting to be nice. And I understand “feeling bad” for the abuser. This is how they get people to stay right? But girl, it’s not time to play nice anymore. You do not have to be alone in this process, seek out resources. Keep records, contact local domestic violence group, and get a protective order.
To everyone asking why he isn’t blocked, just know there is a level of fear that blocking will escalate behavior. OP might be attempting to be nice. And I understand “feeling bad” for the abuser. This is how they get people to stay right? But girl, it’s not time to play nice anymore. You do not have to be alone in this process, seek out resources. Keep records, contact local domestic violence group, and get a protective order.
Employment lawyer asap! The mistake you made was going to your place of employment to get advice on something that would hurt them financially and their reputation. Never do that. They will always seek their best interest, not yours.
Next, proof? It doesn’t sound like you have any. So, phone records of your ex. Did you pay the bills on the phone accounts? Hire a PI. Any old devices of your ex? Apple account still logged in? I mean, this is going to be difficult, but you may have to ask your ex if she’s willing to provide you with help. That’s if you two ended thing on decent terms. The fact that she told you says something.
Did anyone else know? Is this a he said she said thing? Did she make it up? Is your ex possibly making this up?
You’re in a horrible position man. I’m sorry. You have too many questions, not enough answers and now out of job because you asked questions to the wrong people.
Stop talking to others and go sit with a lawyer if you have the money.
These zodiac hoes be out there
And he can’t trust you to take his boundaries seriously…so yeah. Bad match.
100%!
We're you super thin before?
Thank you so much. I appreciate your comment and keep reflecting on it.
Actually this is good advice that I might need to take into consideration… I’m not sure how expensive a layer is but I don’t really have money of my own right now.
And yes I do have a safe place, I can stay with my parents
“My (19F) boyfriend (33M) of almost two years won’t introduce me to anyone in his life. He’s still technically married and his wife is pregnant with their second set of twins and he says he’s going to file for divorce soon, but it’s complicated. Should I book a wedding venue for the summer or push to the fall?”
Every comment: OMG BREAK UP
One certified non-genius: Maybe suggest couples counseling?
OP: Wow, I didn’t expect to get such rude judgement on my partner. He’s so wonderful except for this one thing!
Yes, but that has nothing to do with the point I’m making though. You seem earnest enough so I will try to explain my viewpoint in more detail. I’ll use the short skirt example.
The point is that victim blaming is putting the onus on the victim rather than the perpetrator. Why shame someone who didn’t do anything wrong, when you would be well within your right to shame a rapist, a murderer? Why choose the victim to get mad at before you get mad at the shithead who did the crime? Is it because you want to think that horrible crimes are something within everyone’s control, and as such, you are comforted knowing you’d never make that decision so it will be easier to talk shit on the person who did?
Perpetrators of violent crime have control over themselves just as the victim does. They are human beings with free will, and they’re the ones that need to be blamed. Excusing men as simply “animals” gives them no credit as human beings with free will at all. They are people with the ability to make the right choice, and in these scenarios, they didn’t. Who’s more at fault, the person who chose to wore something they liked, or the person who chose to rape them because they felt they deserved it? Isn’t rape objectively worse than wearing a short skirt?
As a society we need to keep the focus on telling people not to be rapists and murderers, rather than telling women not to wear short skirts. Shame the perpetrator far more than the victim because they chose to do it when they did not have to. Not a person in the world made them rape someone. So hold them accountable. Currently we act like they’re unchangeable, primitive apes, and everyone else should alter their behavior for them instead. That’s an infantilizing attitude towards a grown adult, honestly. They aren’t primitive apes in the slightest.
We will never get rid of crime, for sure, but it doesn’t mean we should try to be better. And it doesn’t mean victims of things like sexual assault deserve to feel even worse for their clothing choice when they aren’t the ones that chose to physically assault someone. Does that make sense?
he only said that a woman should fulfill a mans need and not other way and that I am not trying enough like other women would.
Well I got the solution right here: Get the fuck outta that relationship! 🙂
Is it really approval from him that she wants and not to show off that she’s better now?
Have her stay a few days at her brother’s house and take care of the baby so she realizes how hard it is. They can get a break and she can do the diapering, mom can pump so she can do feeding with no sleep, basically everything the parents do and see if she still wants one.
She wasn’t sad while talking about it because she grieved this relationship while you were away for a month at a time.
You’re right that she probably didn’t understand the true toll this job would have on her and on the relationship.
Short of getting a new job I don’t see how you can come back from this.
If you keep your job you need to be aware that this could be a dealbreaker for other relationships, most people want a partner that can be there for the day to day stuff that happens or comes up in life. Not someone who is gone for a full month every other month.
Disagreed. My father committed suicide this past week, he was suffering and no longer is so
Yes, suicide is a very selfish act. The only time I would disagree with this is if your parents are 78 to 110. If they don’t wanna live anymore after that I think they get the choice.
As a man, I also deal with this a ton from both genders. It's insane for anyone to act this way to other people. Period.
Just because toxic comes in family size doesnt mean we have to deal with it. Cut the crazy, cold turkey no contact. She will ALWAYS be the victim and you will forever be apologising otherwise.
I’m so sorry you are going through that! Not feeling satisfied sexually has put a strain on our relationship
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He knew what they were, but I was unaware
I think you keep asking because you're hoping that his answer will change. That he's going to tell you that you're perfect and the most attractive person out there. That's not really realistic though and obviously there is more to you than being physically attractive. In my opinion, it's better to have a partner that will be honest and up front with you, even if they know you're aren't going to like the answer. It will serve your relationship better in the long run, as long as you're willing to communicate with him in the same way.
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Are you kidding? None of this would have happened if the other girl hadn’t said anything. Don’t put this all on the mother of your kid…unless you’re hoping to hook up with this troublemaker again.
You made an agreement, and he has no right to expect you to act as a mother when that was not the agreement.
I do believe you screwed yourself over by not having a legally binding agreement drawn up. It will probably cause you a lot of problems in the future. You might want to see an attorney now to see if anything can be done.
It will get better. And it’s understandable you feel like a widow. Three months wasn’t long enough to adjust to life without him and get used to your ‘new normal’. Be kind to yourself. Grieve, rest, try and eat. Be gentle while you work through this. If you can maybe try some counselling. Hugs honey .
You could partially use the long distance, but also let him know you feeling you are moving apart (emotionally) and do not have the motivation or interest for an inherently difficult long distance relationship.
If he offers to follow you tell him you don’t want that
I’d avoid much else
Why? Isn't it just taking turn fucking two women and eating them out/fingering? Sounds more physically strenuous but not crazy.
Tell him you have no issue with moving out, but he needs to give you time to come up with a plan that is reasonable and safe for you. Perhaps a month or maybe 2. During that time, you both can simply act like roommates.
If he needs space, there’s nothing you can do to change his mind. I know it’s scary, but it also seems like you’re completely dependent on him emotionally and mentally. That’s not healthy at all. You need to be responsible for yourself in those areas. This breakup will likely be good for you in the long run because you really need to focus on yourself and work on being able to be content being alone and being able to support yourself, not just financially. Once you focus on yourself and repair those areas, your next relationship will likely be less toxic and healthier overall.
Once you’re settled or even now, consider looking into some self-help books regarding ‘being happy being alone with yourself’ or topics similar to that. I think they’ll be really insightful for you. If $ is tight, check to see what your local library has that you can borrow for free.
This sucks for sure, but you CAN do this!! You were a capable person before your BF, and you will be capable again!
It should be when the conversation or date moves sexual. Anytime before and it seems like you're expecting it.
I love my parents, I wish they could accept me as I am. Why do I have to face this? It’s not fair. I didn’t ask for this sexuality, if I was straight my life would be perfect or if my parents were open minded my life would be perfect as well.
I’m a very good looking guy too, I sure have kissed some guys. I’m still processing everything as I no longer live with my parents. I think that I’ve hidden my sexuality for so much time that now I don’t know how to put it into practice. I want to go with a therapist but it’s very expensive and I don’t have the money.
He might be interested in you for other reasons besides your looks. I love my wife for so many reasons other than looks.
Also, not finishing can be caused by many factors and he might actually be self conscious about it. What if the reason he doesn't want public sex is because he knows he can't finish even in the comfort of the bedroom?
Sex is full body. Masterbation requires a hand/arm. A guy can move his arm for much longer than his whole body.
He might need to talk to his doctor about it. There are several pills to help. There may be an underlying condition he doesn't even imagine that is sapping his manhood.
This ⬆️⬆️⬆️you’ve spent half your posts telling us what he will say, why don’t you let him say it? You don’t actually know all the results of this imaginary conversation your having. Actually let him make these choices, it’s not up to you if he wants to “ruin“ his relationship, that’s his choice, let him decide.
look above me someone put text
Why are you dating men so much older than you? They’re usually interested in women that much younger because they either believe you’ll be easy to manipulate or women their own age find them toxic or immature. How do you know R was really divorcing? He lies to you and the woman he was with could have been his wife. It sounds like he likes stringing you along for attention, sex or as an option while he pursues others or is with his wife. I would go no contact and reevaluate why you’re involving yourself with at least 2 much older men.
Yup. Your ex doesn’t have to sell herself back to you in exchange for a trip. You shouldn’t have offered.
Hun that ain't his ex…..
Your gf seems ignorant.
I am positive that with her lack of understanding and empathy this is a teachable moment for her.
I would ask her what would she do if she were in your parents role?
Or maybe I'm wrong, in which case, you may learn something about your gf that you might need to know now, before you spend much more time with her.
Your poor gf.
Thank you for such an insightful comment!
Without more context, you're both very young, got together when you were 15 and he was 17. I'm guessing you're having a bit of FOMO (fear of missing out).
Up until this moment I didn't know this feeling had a name but you may be so right about that. If I'm being honest with myself – I used to think that if I ever broke up with him it would be stupid and that this relationship wasn't worth it as I'd lose a lovely person in order to just satisfy my curiosity, however I don't feel that anymore when I think about it – now it's more like I'm limiting myself to someone who I don't consider irreplacable(sounds terrible, forgive me lord).
Regardless of what choice you decide to make, just make sure you stick too it, and make the best of it. Try not to look back as though you should've made the other decision.
And that is what I needed to hear, not just about that but about any other life choice. Thank you, you helped a lot.
Did we all have a stomachache on Valentines day? He told you from the start that he doesn't like those things, even if you do he doesn't.
Doesn't exactly mean he is not serious, he did wanted to see you after all, even if for a walk because he was in pain (which he can't control) but just like you don't have to tolerate someone not doing what you want/like he doesn't have to make himself do something he does not feel comfortable with, specially after he told you that he doesn't like those things.
If this is a deal breaker for you then that's okay, but you can't expect someone to do something that, in their words “makes him cringe” just because you like it, it's not fair for anyone.
Period and pregnancy farts far outstrip any horrors that beer and tacos alone can produce. Mwahahahahahahaha!
How long have you been together?
It sounds like you don’t have the bandwidth to participate in the kind of relationship she’s looking for. And that’s totally ok. It just doesn’t sound like your lifestyles and goals are compatible right now.
YOURE THE PROBLEM, I REPEAT, YOURE THE PROBLEM. you don’t own her. She deserves sooo much better
You have no time for a girlfriend. Maybe you need a friends with benefits instead. Someone to use for when you feel like having sex or whatever bit doesn’t need attention otherwise.
You have no time for her. I’m not sure why you think anyone is going to be like, yeah, that girlfriend is ridiculous thinking she needs to spend like any time at all with you! How dare she?!
You okay on moving anyway for your program where she’s not wanting to go, so it will end anyway. Save eachother a bunch of time.
Video chat or break it off. I’ve don’t LDR before and we basically lived on WhatsApp video when we weren’t working. It’s weird as anything that you haven’t video chatted yet.
NTA
This is absolutely the hill to die on.
It seems like this is the first time he's trying these jokes on you.
Let's be honest here. What he's doing is not a joke or funny. The things he does are mean and he is not called out on it so he continues to do so. At this point, its also a point of pride and power for him that he gets to do these things with no repercussions.
This is him trying to pull a power move at your wedding.
If you allow this to happen, it will keep happening.
You need to be very firm, very serious, and very direct with your fiancé first, then all the in laws.
You do not appreciate these pranks. You do not think they are funny. If anyone attempts to play a prank at the wedding you will consider it rude to you and they will be escorted out.
You will get pushback. Stand firm.
You may want to hire a bodyguard to ensure your day goes respectfully.
I think he got the desired result. Don’t take the bait.
You could've just washed your hands in the kitchen.
She mentioned tickets to events.
Do not give up that interview for your dream job, if she was that bothered this could be great for you both, she should be supporting you, not making this about her!
This is a troll. Glad they are being downvoted!
She had literally nothing to do with “how it all went.” The woman’s demand was insane, and also not how getting a haircut works.
I swear there’s like some unwritten rule of Reddit that the OP will only engage with the most absolutely clueless, wrongheaded takes about their situation. Case in point.
Tell the school and get him fired, maybe the both of them. What they’re doing is very immoral and definitely against guidelines.
Seemed like a deal breaker from jump
I would just let him know by phone or text that things between you guys aren’t working out and it is time to part ways. Tbh, I wouldn’t waste my time or gas driving 2 hrs to tell him in person, especially since he never made any effort to see you instead.
Don’t feel bad about finding out you were dating a cheater. Dump her.
Don't sell yourself short buddy. You're fresh meat in a small town and you're at a very marriable age. Get out there and mingle.
Is he the only guy you've been with? If not, has anyone else complained about your tightness?
I really don't know why she would still insist we were friends unless she was lying through her teeth for an entire year. I think that'd be tough to fake, especially since I gave her ample opportunities to let me down gently, but still be clear about it so I didn't get the wrong idea. Seriously, I thought she wouldn't want to keep in contact. I would ask every so often, and she always told me we were friends and she wanted to talk (with the exception of the most recent occurrence). Also, we rarely, if ever, spoke about her ex/my boyfriend, even when they were together. Mostly just talked about work and other life updates.
Everyone needs some measure of personal space. Some more than others.
Some people, like your girlfriend, put Quality Time as one of their primary love languages. They may also have less in the way of hobbies or other friends to keep them occupied.
It can become a problem if you dont communicate your needs properly. Its worth talking about individual needs for alone time, as well as how you each like to show love and receive love. Some couples skip the basics and break up 10 years later because they never even understood what types of affection were important to one another. Physical Touch, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts. How do you categorize those things?
He is so nasty for dealing with you and your car like this, and he's doubly nasty for dating an 18 year old as a 27 year old.
Men this much older than you do not have good intentions. They are planning to use you for sex, or other things… Like your car. They are choosing someone very young with little adult experience because that is someone they think will be easy to manipulate and control.
Don't go back to this guy and please avoid this sort of outrageous age gap in the future
Ask them if they consider this to be moving towards a serious relationship in the future. If they can't even answer that then I'd get out of there.
Yes I tried but her response any time I bring up any dissatisfaction with our relationship is “so leave me” and she refuses to engage in any constructive conversation about it or any compromise.
It’s possible but as someone else experiencing similar I’d ask you, if the shoe was on the other foot and it was her with the problem, would it be over? I assume the answer is no and so perhaps it’s worth giving your wife the benefit of the doubt before making any assumptions. Statistically women are more likely to stick with their husbands through medical adversity than the other way around so that’s another point of consideration. End of the day there are ways to address it with current technology and it’s all dependent on what exactly is wrong. Chin up my friend these issues are more common than you might think and bearing the burden alone is not something you need to do.
Oh, really. As a former 18 year old who got taken advantage of by older people I completely disagree.
I don’t want to divorce him
Genuine question given what you've written here: why not?
Would a newer phone record like an old quality?
Grow up anyone who can't tolerate that
The thing is I’ve been doing this a lot, and it’s not getting any easier. It’s just stressful knowing how they would react if they knew the truth.
And I doubted that someone would lie about this.
You’re assuming she’s lying. I am assuming someone is messing with her.
Advice?
Do not keep dating a conflicted hypocrite who judges and disdains you for sexual acts they consented to and enjoyed. Never reduce yourself to trying to be with someone who will use you for pleasure then hate you for giving it to them.
This is merely the tip of the iceberg.
Religious and patriarchal control both stem from insecurity. Jealousy stems from insecurity. Being a virign and wanting a virgin stems from VARIOUS insecurities surrounding sex entirely.
Ignorance about a woman's body and thinking that is somehow a detriment to you is still insecurity my dude.
Like…please get therapy instead of a partner.
Basically he is asking for permission to bang your wife with your permission. The fact that your wife didn't totally dismiss the idea and cut contacts with him tells a lot!
Very heartwarming, thank you so much
The minute you say “we are done”, he is your ex, and him being sad is no longer your problem.
“It would break my heart if you left me”. “I guess your heart is broken then because I have left you, you are dumped, it is over, we are broken up.”
He is a cheat. I have zero doubt he will ditch his fidelity for dick every time.
Your friend is a cheat and will ditch your friendship for dick every time.
Guilt will make you unhappy and less fun to live with. Do your husband the best favour and forgive yourself. He will not enjoy your wallowing & soul searching.
You only want to 'make it up to him' to make yourself feel better about what you did ,which is a little selfish when he has stated doesn't want or need anything from you.
You can't do anything to erase what happened. But life will send you more testing times and afford you the opportunity to be even better than you are now. Looking back will only drag you down.
Guilt will make you unhappy and less fun to live with. Do your husband the best favour and forgive yourself. He will not enjoy your wallowing & soul searching.
You only want to 'make it up to him' to make yourself feel better about what you did ,which is a little selfish when he has stated doesn't want or need anything from you.
You can't do anything to erase what happened. But life will send you more testing times and afford you the opportunity to be even better than you are now. Looking back will only drag you down.
Guilt will make you unhappy and less fun to live with. Do your husband the best favour and forgive yourself. He will not enjoy your wallowing & soul searching.
You only want to 'make it up to him' to make yourself feel better about what you did ,which is a little selfish when he has stated doesn't want or need anything from you.
You can't do anything to erase what happened. But life will send you more testing times and afford you the opportunity to be even better than you are now. Looking back will only drag you down.
Here’s the issue with all of this….. if she was hoping you’d define the relationship, and she had feelings for you at all, including RESPECT, she’d have come to you and say “hey, our relationship isn’t defined, and there’s someone else asking me out…” she didn’t say ANYTHING until confronted, and her excuse was “Oh, I was just having a fling while you figured out what you wanted to do,” like that is supposed to make her what? More endearing to you? Now, you’ve realized she’s still lying. Yes, I say still because lying by omission is LYING.
Im sorry to tell you this, but she WOULD be entertaining it. If she had ANY feelings for you at all, she’d have come to you and said something along the lines of “this is just casual, right? Because….” This chick just showed you EXACTLY who she is without realizing she told you who she is! BELIEVE HER!!!
She’s playing with you. You seem to automatically want to blame yourself for not defining the relationship, but at the 6 month mark, it’s pretty clear there’s definitely some type of relationship between you two, and if she couldn’t communicate to you she wanted your commitment, she’s not the one!
I’m sorry. But this isn’t your fault. There’s a serious lack of respect on her end. I’m twice your age, and I’ve been there and on the receiving end of it. She wants her cake and eat it too. The fact she was seeing you, then stepped out….. yeah, you’re NOT a priority. I know you don’t want to hear this. I know facing it is hurtful, but better now than a year from now!
Good luck with whatever you decide to do, OP!
You clearly haven’t stepped up to the plate and wanted to commit to her and a real relationship. You’re “figuring out what you want” – if you want monogamy then ask for it and be willing to commit
How many more years of this do you want to deal with?