Is this guy really someone you want in your life? Your dad sounds incredibly sweet and he's probably lonely. Your boyfriend sounds like a dickhead honestly
Sounds like you already made up your mind and you're only here to get people to agree with you. They have a pretty normal friendship. Wouldn't you worry about a pregnant friend and the baby? I definitely would. The hiking is also something that friends just do. Nothing special or weird about that. The dinner is very weird tho. P.S. Do you expect him to have no female friends or what? If that's what you want you're just insecure and probably shouldn't date anyone.
It’s time for a little offense with defense. I would tell him the next time that he says that to the children you’re going to add him and tell him that he’s bad mouthing you because he’s maladjusted he’s angry and bitter and he’s lying. You do that enough he’ll stop because he doesn’t want that done back to him. You are letting him do this to you. Your kids will know you.
That’s sounds like good advice. I’m really hoping that this is just a temporary funk she is going through. It just is so mind boggling to me how people can go so hot and cold like that.
Like on Thursday we have this fantastic talk. Real lovey dovey stuff with lots of I love you’s and pet names thrown in for good measure. Friday a bit less but still plenty of good signs. Saturday onwards silence and the only sign I know she is alive is her Instagram stories posting stuff about mental health issues and the like. Of course, I reach out to try and reassure her. Nothing. Finally I say enough is enough once it looks to me like she has legit muted and possibly blocked me. Get the I need space runaround. I mean that seems like a major 180 to me.
The thing is I still absolutely adore her and I know that work actually is depressing her. She had a week of mostly silence a while back for similar reasons and told me she was sorry, she didn’t want to drag me down to her stink, she was afraid of losing me and the like.
But this is the second time and seems more serious this time. When i tried FaceTiming and got nothing but some odd message about that number not being available for FaceTime and my texts went straight green bubble, i really thought she actually for real blocked me. The phone rang when i real called and she texted right after so maybe it was just shoddy connection (though still seems odd return text came from Apple ID and not phone number). It’s rough stuff dude.
I would keep talking to him in and tell him that you’re not only want it but you need it that bond you’re closer. I think he thinks you’re fragile also. The other thing is maybe you guys should do a little bit of counseling while you’re going through this. The best of wishes for you and prayers for your recovery.
Don't you wonder why no one closer to his age is with him? It's wonderful to be put on a pedestal and treated like a princess. But life is not a disney fairytale!
He has a child the same age as you. Eewww…He could be your father!! He's your manager. I'm sure he's done this before. This is also not good as he's in a position of power. Why would he not be interested in having sex with someone so much younger? He's doesn't have to put in much effort to impress someone who is young.
Find someone your age and enjoy dating. You are young. This is your chance to explore what you would like to have in a future Mate. Don't settle for an old guy that will need meds to have sex in a few years.
None of this adds up. If my wife was invited on a 5 day hen do for one of her best friends because of some blowout reason or something I would tell her to go and take care of the kids. But that not what's going on here, this doesn't seem like a stag/bachelor party, this smacks of non wedding related conspiracy.
I'm not sure who the asshole is here but it isn't you. You were 100% right to call bullshit on this scenario and question how on earth any of this could make sense.
I would not want a partner to move in with me because of financial reasons. That’s a recipe for disaster. Moving in should happen because it’s the next step in the relationship and both partner want it, not because someone lost their job.
I’m sorry but I kind of have had this at different times in my life and seeing me was always more about them and what they wanted than it was about seeing me.
My real dad was pretty abusive and desperately wanted to see us and God knows why my mom let him that time. Turned out his sister would give him money if she felt he was getting his life together. I was maybe 5or 6 and knew he didn’t want to see us. He came a few times and eventually his sister gave no more money and the brunt of his rage about that was taken out on us.
I know nothing about her but urge you to have a counselor vet her an supervise her visits. Your daughters life and emotional health are in your hands. Even at her age a bad visit will impact her for life.
This is the only issue in our parenting styles so far. I have been very supportive until now but it is driving a wedge in our relationship as we no longer sleep together. Our baby is not learning how to properly self soothe and it is affecting everyones sleep.
Funny how you expect him to sacrifice but you weren't willing to compromise or do the same ? still this is an advice sub and you are not asking for advice
Nope. You’re reading this wrong. Here’s what happened:
OP: want to be my boyfriend?
Guy: no, I don’t believe in labels
OP: ok, well I’ll continue being single then
Guy: nooooo! How dare you do that!!!!?! You should commit to me even though I’m not committing to you for as long as it takes for me to change my mind!!! Noooo!
It says in the post that she didn't feel any build-up, it just happened and caught her by surprise. That happens sometimes, not every orgasm necessarily comes with a preamble. Make sure to read the entirety of posts.
Really they allow it to the outside world.. but staunch Catholics would absolute rather have the mother die in birth to save the kid. My mother had a college friend that happened to. All of her grandparents and her parents were pushing them to have the kid. Her husband begged her not to because it would be dangerous but my moms friend didn’t want to ostracize her extended family from their lives and future children’s lives so she pushed through and she does giving way premature birth.
I'm really scared for you, please run as soon as you can, this can only get worse! He needs to get belp, and not the help you can give him. For your health and your safety please listen to people on here. Make an exit plan then get it in motion.
Completely agree with you. He is obviously so unwell that he has a major incident like this, and her first impulse is to “promptly” make him clean up? I would hope for a partner, even if casual, with a tiny bit of empathy and care and OP hasn't shown any. I wouldn't want to see her again not because I would be embarrassed, but because I would hope to be treated with a bit more care when obviously seriously unwell.
In other words she wants to see if he can convince her that its “ok” to fuck him while u are away and she eants to see if the guilt is something she can ignore so she can continue to cheat on u afterwards
It’s not the 1950s, kids are raised in single parents households by single moms. And sometimes even by single dads.
I love how you say this, as though those kids would rather grow up with no dad lol. These are people, not cats. Money will not make up for a lost parental figure. That much should be obvious.
And the way op has explained it she has made a proportion, she’s not leaving tomorrow. And she has also proposed a way for him to see his kids.
A proposition that made zero sense, which incidentally are the same odds that she'd actually follow through with said plans.
That doesn’t make her a bad person.
Objectively it does.
None of the things you’ve said here supports that she’s a bad person or is doing anything that’s harmful for her kids. If anything she’s probably trying to avoid op and his constant badgering about getting back together. She also probably trying to save herself some pain by not having to see op and his son.
So basically you're saying she's decided to separate father and children by about half a country distance to spare her own feelings? Lol, that somehow is reasonable and not at all selfish to you? Tell me, why are her feelings more important than his, or the kids when they get older?
And I am gonna come out and say it
I'll come out and it too: you really aren't mature enough for this conversation. Idk if it's an age issue or a lack of human interactions issue, but the parent-child relationship does not seem to be a concept you've fully grasped. Then, when you're challenged on your ill-conceived thoughts, you resort to this:
Idk why you’re getting so hysterical about it.
It's not hysteria you're seeing, is bewilderment.
Good luck arguing that in front of a judge.
It's baffling the way you think this would work out. Yes, a judge is totally going to be on board with giving a single woman sole custody of not one, but four young kids, simply because the father has a child from a previous relationship. Lol
You because you even entertain the shenanigans of the neanderthal train of thought emanating from your bf.
The fact that you would even agree with him that things like pool and comedy are overtly masculine tell me that you really need to expand your horizons.
Him because, wtf?
I dont see this going anywhere. Free yourself of this person and possibly find a wider circle to interact with stop pigeonholing yourself, and others. Go be a person.
Yes, he certainly should have contacted the lawyer earlier.
Is this guy really someone you want in your life? Your dad sounds incredibly sweet and he's probably lonely. Your boyfriend sounds like a dickhead honestly
Sounds like you already made up your mind and you're only here to get people to agree with you. They have a pretty normal friendship. Wouldn't you worry about a pregnant friend and the baby? I definitely would. The hiking is also something that friends just do. Nothing special or weird about that. The dinner is very weird tho. P.S. Do you expect him to have no female friends or what? If that's what you want you're just insecure and probably shouldn't date anyone.
It’s time for a little offense with defense. I would tell him the next time that he says that to the children you’re going to add him and tell him that he’s bad mouthing you because he’s maladjusted he’s angry and bitter and he’s lying. You do that enough he’ll stop because he doesn’t want that done back to him. You are letting him do this to you. Your kids will know you.
That’s sounds like good advice. I’m really hoping that this is just a temporary funk she is going through. It just is so mind boggling to me how people can go so hot and cold like that.
Like on Thursday we have this fantastic talk. Real lovey dovey stuff with lots of I love you’s and pet names thrown in for good measure. Friday a bit less but still plenty of good signs. Saturday onwards silence and the only sign I know she is alive is her Instagram stories posting stuff about mental health issues and the like. Of course, I reach out to try and reassure her. Nothing. Finally I say enough is enough once it looks to me like she has legit muted and possibly blocked me. Get the I need space runaround. I mean that seems like a major 180 to me.
The thing is I still absolutely adore her and I know that work actually is depressing her. She had a week of mostly silence a while back for similar reasons and told me she was sorry, she didn’t want to drag me down to her stink, she was afraid of losing me and the like.
But this is the second time and seems more serious this time. When i tried FaceTiming and got nothing but some odd message about that number not being available for FaceTime and my texts went straight green bubble, i really thought she actually for real blocked me. The phone rang when i real called and she texted right after so maybe it was just shoddy connection (though still seems odd return text came from Apple ID and not phone number). It’s rough stuff dude.
So 'avoid the test' is what you're saying, and use your kids to do it.
I would keep talking to him in and tell him that you’re not only want it but you need it that bond you’re closer. I think he thinks you’re fragile also. The other thing is maybe you guys should do a little bit of counseling while you’re going through this. The best of wishes for you and prayers for your recovery.
Then she doesn't want to go out with you bro.
Don't you wonder why no one closer to his age is with him? It's wonderful to be put on a pedestal and treated like a princess. But life is not a disney fairytale!
He has a child the same age as you. Eewww…He could be your father!! He's your manager. I'm sure he's done this before. This is also not good as he's in a position of power. Why would he not be interested in having sex with someone so much younger? He's doesn't have to put in much effort to impress someone who is young.
Find someone your age and enjoy dating. You are young. This is your chance to explore what you would like to have in a future Mate. Don't settle for an old guy that will need meds to have sex in a few years.
NTA
None of this adds up. If my wife was invited on a 5 day hen do for one of her best friends because of some blowout reason or something I would tell her to go and take care of the kids. But that not what's going on here, this doesn't seem like a stag/bachelor party, this smacks of non wedding related conspiracy.
I'm not sure who the asshole is here but it isn't you. You were 100% right to call bullshit on this scenario and question how on earth any of this could make sense.
I would not want a partner to move in with me because of financial reasons. That’s a recipe for disaster. Moving in should happen because it’s the next step in the relationship and both partner want it, not because someone lost their job.
I’ll bet the price of an hour in the Skybox that this post, and ‘the wife’s POV’ post are both faker than a stripper’s … well … anything.
I’m sorry but I kind of have had this at different times in my life and seeing me was always more about them and what they wanted than it was about seeing me.
My real dad was pretty abusive and desperately wanted to see us and God knows why my mom let him that time. Turned out his sister would give him money if she felt he was getting his life together. I was maybe 5or 6 and knew he didn’t want to see us. He came a few times and eventually his sister gave no more money and the brunt of his rage about that was taken out on us.
I know nothing about her but urge you to have a counselor vet her an supervise her visits. Your daughters life and emotional health are in your hands. Even at her age a bad visit will impact her for life.
This is the only issue in our parenting styles so far. I have been very supportive until now but it is driving a wedge in our relationship as we no longer sleep together. Our baby is not learning how to properly self soothe and it is affecting everyones sleep.
Funny how you expect him to sacrifice but you weren't willing to compromise or do the same ? still this is an advice sub and you are not asking for advice
Has this been the extent of your conversations for 6 years?
I would reccomend talking to a therapist before ending the relationship.
Exactly :S
“My girlfriend bought me a thoughtfull and expensive gift, and now im angry!”
My dude, what the fuck are you doing? Just fucking buy yourself something different if you feel like you absolutely need to spend 350$ on something.
Nope. You’re reading this wrong. Here’s what happened:
OP: want to be my boyfriend?
Guy: no, I don’t believe in labels
OP: ok, well I’ll continue being single then
Guy: nooooo! How dare you do that!!!!?! You should commit to me even though I’m not committing to you for as long as it takes for me to change my mind!!! Noooo!
It says in the post that she didn't feel any build-up, it just happened and caught her by surprise. That happens sometimes, not every orgasm necessarily comes with a preamble. Make sure to read the entirety of posts.
You think nobody has ever been convicted on false allegations?
Really they allow it to the outside world.. but staunch Catholics would absolute rather have the mother die in birth to save the kid. My mother had a college friend that happened to. All of her grandparents and her parents were pushing them to have the kid. Her husband begged her not to because it would be dangerous but my moms friend didn’t want to ostracize her extended family from their lives and future children’s lives so she pushed through and she does giving way premature birth.
Cheers. Nice to have a second opinion. But yeah the gyna is another issue…
I thought about that as well, definitely a possibility.
Exactly this. You may not like tooth gaps. But you love your bfs tooth gaps.
If you're with someone there's a reason for that. OP has serious self confidence issues.
Sounds like it was a twerking vid so probably not.
Let this one go. Your divorce is over, you have a new partner, you told him to leave you alone.
Let it go dude.
I'm really scared for you, please run as soon as you can, this can only get worse! He needs to get belp, and not the help you can give him. For your health and your safety please listen to people on here. Make an exit plan then get it in motion.
First time? You'll get used to it.
Completely agree with you. He is obviously so unwell that he has a major incident like this, and her first impulse is to “promptly” make him clean up? I would hope for a partner, even if casual, with a tiny bit of empathy and care and OP hasn't shown any. I wouldn't want to see her again not because I would be embarrassed, but because I would hope to be treated with a bit more care when obviously seriously unwell.
Allowing someone to believe something you know to be untrue is called a lie of omission.
In other words she wants to see if he can convince her that its “ok” to fuck him while u are away and she eants to see if the guilt is something she can ignore so she can continue to cheat on u afterwards
how much money they make.
Who cares?
It’s not the 1950s, kids are raised in single parents households by single moms. And sometimes even by single dads.
I love how you say this, as though those kids would rather grow up with no dad lol. These are people, not cats. Money will not make up for a lost parental figure. That much should be obvious.
And the way op has explained it she has made a proportion, she’s not leaving tomorrow. And she has also proposed a way for him to see his kids.
A proposition that made zero sense, which incidentally are the same odds that she'd actually follow through with said plans.
That doesn’t make her a bad person.
Objectively it does.
None of the things you’ve said here supports that she’s a bad person or is doing anything that’s harmful for her kids. If anything she’s probably trying to avoid op and his constant badgering about getting back together. She also probably trying to save herself some pain by not having to see op and his son.
So basically you're saying she's decided to separate father and children by about half a country distance to spare her own feelings? Lol, that somehow is reasonable and not at all selfish to you? Tell me, why are her feelings more important than his, or the kids when they get older?
And I am gonna come out and say it
I'll come out and it too: you really aren't mature enough for this conversation. Idk if it's an age issue or a lack of human interactions issue, but the parent-child relationship does not seem to be a concept you've fully grasped. Then, when you're challenged on your ill-conceived thoughts, you resort to this:
Idk why you’re getting so hysterical about it.
It's not hysteria you're seeing, is bewilderment.
Good luck arguing that in front of a judge.
It's baffling the way you think this would work out. Yes, a judge is totally going to be on board with giving a single woman sole custody of not one, but four young kids, simply because the father has a child from a previous relationship. Lol
People that are constantly posting pictures like that do it for their ego. Let’s not lie to ourselves.
Tell your boyfriend about this thread. Now he knows some men who wouldn’t mind that. Enjoy!
There are two problems here. You and him.
You because you even entertain the shenanigans of the neanderthal train of thought emanating from your bf.
The fact that you would even agree with him that things like pool and comedy are overtly masculine tell me that you really need to expand your horizons.
Him because, wtf?
I dont see this going anywhere. Free yourself of this person and possibly find a wider circle to interact with stop pigeonholing yourself, and others. Go be a person.