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ALL GOALS MET [Multi Goal]
Date: October 19, 2022
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ALL GOALS MET [Multi Goal]
You had rambled on for 19 pages. FRONT AND BACK!
Be careful giving out legal advice to these people. I know you’re more explaining terms but just be careful.
I can only think of it as a motherly instinct. I’m not missing anything in my life that having a baby would fill and our relationship is solid and happy as is. It’s just a desire to be a mother and the excitement of starting a family with my partner. I think the “rush” has more to do with excitement and instinct rather than an actual need. It’s also hard to say no and ignore those initial thoughts because nothing but my age stands in the way of a mature and proper decision to pursue those thoughts.
“Hey, you get pissed off at me if I want to do something without you, but you are pissed at me for using that same standard with you? How do you justify that?” Rhis requires sharp fighting back, man.
I’ll flirt with you.
Jesus just leave him like u shud have two years ago
I don’t know how many times i’ve asked her to sit down and have a conversation, she just not interested in working out whatever problems we have, i feel like i’m wasting my time trying.
That lifestyle she wants unfortunately likely includes fucking other people. When she told you she has to find herself. That means she is finding herself single and alone.
What You want is unrealistic and Double standard. You don’t sound 25, but 7. Sure you are allowed to feel the way you feel about to her body, but setting boundaries like that and then not wanting to reciprocate is utterly insane. Actually its already insane that you are so insecure that you can’t have him watch a movie just because the actress might have bigger breasts. What about on the streets then? While out buying groceries? Come on. You really need to work on your self worth.
Same
I respect your point of view. I am not sure of how much you think this would start repercussions left and right, but let's say she gets her child and feels happy with her side of the deal.
Well, if you're so sure that you don't want to participate in the fathering, make it settled by writing. Talk to a lawyer, and if they say it can be done, do it and have her sign on whatever agreement the lawyer writes.
If she refuses, stay away from her. Who knows how or when she'll try to force you to court to pay child support.
But nobody is gonna bring up how toxic it is to tell your partner that they're not allowed to do something like look at porn? When you yourself essentially sell porn online? You can ask your partner to be honest with you about it, and make sure they keep an open dialogue. But treating your partner like they're your child, and telling them they're just not allowed to do something totally normal and healthy, and something they shouldn't feel bad about it. Ya her ex had a porn addiction that fucked up their relationship, I get that it's a sensitive topic, all the more reason to not create hard toxic boundaries like that, because it's not going to lead to anything healthy. I think there are alot of double standards going on here, but the information is very limited, so I'm trying to look at it very objectively
Does the opinion change if she had shown her piercings to a guy friend? Mine would. What if it wasn't nipples but the vagina? Does that make a difference?
Can we just be healthy adults and recommend that op and her partner have an honest chat about where their boundaries are?
There's no “one size fits all” when it comes to what's cheating and what's not.
Some people are okay with their partners having sex with other people. Some others wouldn't even want their partners to flirt.
It's a thing between 2 people and whether they can reconcile their boundaries. That's how a healthy relationship works. One sided validation does nothing here.
Ever heard that it's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission? Continually owning up to bad behavior, on both your ends, is not a virtue if you were caught first. The virtue, for both of you, would be to stop this childish behavior in general or own up to things before your partner finds out.
r/cursedcomments
Your parents are child abusers.
Good for you manifesting somebody. It just takes a little time sometimes practice with it. Go to YouTube and look for manifesting and Neville Goddard. You got the right idea though.
right!! he shouldnt share a hotel room which other girls when he has a girlfriend, thats just simple respect
He told you he didn't want them to know. You told them anyway. That was disrespectful!.
I literally just said that’s what I was doing lol except you seem to think that the only way I can be a distraction is by sleeping with them. Never mind the fact that most men will actually talk to a woman just for the sake of conversation lol most of y’all aren’t mindless, sex-driven machines
Most dudes have interests beyond sex (i.e.; the latest Netflix series, whatever sports team is currently sportsing the best, how awesome LOTR is, whether they believe in aliens, etc.)
Me and him share mutual friends who know about the hookup between me and Caleb. He also has become friends with all of my new friends, INCLUDING Caleb. All of our friends know about the hookup because it’s been shared between them all in a comical manner. I have a hard time believing that someone won’t tell him one day or accidentally bring it up in front of him in a joking manner.
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“it's never ok to joke or comment”
Honestly I don't feel that way. I don't enjoy feeling judged but I prefer my partner telling it like it is and put some pressure on me than pretending everything is ok. Plus love is ALSO based on physical attraction. If you got heavier simply because you stopped exercising or you ate too much, I don't think you should get a free pass.
I know this is hard… but you both need to just cut this off. She is kind of right that if you truly wanted to be worh her you wouldnt be wanting to see other people (I mean if you are looking for monogamy). But she is also super out of line and demanding things from you beyond what is fair. What do you need to fix about yourself? Are you sure that it is a problem with you and not just an incompatibility? I know it's so shit to hear that you both are so young but I am thankful every day I didnt end up with the person I dated at 19… and I can tell you I thought I wanted to marry him at the time.
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I don’t think you’re helping my BFs case by insisting he go on subsidized vacation. I know you mean well … and he would never… but the thought is such a turn off.
we got back together in March. i had two periods after sleeping with the other man. I’m just worrying. My partner knows I slept with someone else but has never questioned if the baby is his. That’s why I think i’m being irrational. I just can’t stop crying about it i feel so awful.
And the audacity you show in all your responses is also disgusting. You must think you’re too good for everyone mr PHD. This very serious thing that you are placing on to your GF and most of your replies contain excuses, dumb defenses and these adorable LOLs. So narcissistic and manipulative. Congrats. Thousands of people think you’re a terrible person.
Dude is trying to hide the joy of her being apparently sadder than he is because she gained weight and doesn't post her relationships on social media, he is the pathetic one here that's for sure.
Thank you for your advice, I certainly didn’t act well, and looking at the all the responses I’m certainly in the wrong, my boyfriend does deserve the best, he’s amazing, and I’ll try my best in the future ?
That's incredibly powerful. I'm so sorry you had to learn that lesson. I'm sending you love. ❤️
Don't date cheaters, don't be a homewrecker. This isn't hard.
That's incredibly powerful. I'm so sorry you had to learn that lesson. I'm sending you love. ❤️
My brother and I are exactly the same.
My brother and I are exactly the same.
Fawn response… such bullshit. What a self-victimized child.
I’m sorry, I don’t and I’m not really Reddit savvy so I don’t know how to find it. If you can search the sub for “penectomy” it might show up.
He would send me a list of the bills and when they were due. I had to make sure I could transfer 50% of money into his account by the due date. I’ve never been in any type of relationship before, so I have no clue what the norm is or should have been. I’ve never dated anyone in my life before.
Do not tell the kids why. The only reason you'd tell adult children are to turn the kids against the other parent.
Don't do that to children. It fucks them up. Marriage issues should be kept between the people in the marriage.
it's every day on this sub. i am tired.
Just ignore her and move on with your life.
I've stuck with him through his alcoholism (no longer an issue), living with both of our parents at a point, his depression, and him forcing me into a polyamorous relationship.
You should analyse in individual therapy why your standards are this low. Love is NEVER enough, and this man clearly has little respect for you. Most of the things you mentioned would be dealbreakers for most on their own.
. I'm honestly just over this relationship, but I love him so much and we've been together for so long..
Never ever fall for the sunk cost fallacy. You're only 23 years old, you have your whole life ahead of you. Break up, move on, learn to be independent, learn about red flags.
Love bombing usually follows after a very negative event (cheating is the most common) and the cheater tries to EXPRESS LOVE ESPECIALLY to blind the betrayed about their previous crimes.
Another reason they call it BOMBING… is because its heavy and intense and isn't consistent… you seem like you do your actions ON THE REGULAR
22 and 30? Yeah it is big and yeah you can tell.
I can tell if someone is my age or 30.
When my grandfather was in a similar situation, we got him one of those digital picture frames that people can add photos to from their phone. It was a bit pricey, but he loved seeing pictures of his grandkids and his great granddaughter, even if he didn’t remember our names.
Another year we gave him a photo album full of old and new pictures of all the family members with names written out next to them. After he passed we still kept this as it’s nice to look through.
Get the divorce. Don't put yourself through the unnecessary stress.
As someone who has been there, done that, please do not actually marry this guy for many many years. And be careful with sex, don't get pregnant to him until after you're married in many years time (25+). The red flags are there. Took me 4 years to realise that relationships can be better than this.
Aww thank you. :') Sometimes I'm so worried I put in a lot of effort and I care way more than he does. I just don't know.
This is weird. Her family pressure her to go clubbing?
UpdateMe!
UpdateMe!
Your bf froze instead of stepping in when it mattered & then tried to get your money back which was foolish because…guns.
This was a more traumatic experience for you than for him, but I don’t know why you’re continuing to beat him up about it. He cried. He apologized. Why do you keep re-hashing it? What are you going to solve by asking him about it over & over & over again.
You need to see a trauma specialist & you need to forgive him.
All the luck in the world. May only good things be in store for you in your new future.
You're not keeping these things in ziplocks stashed in a drawer, that's the difference. You're displaying them as memorial items.
Unless she wants to change there's nothing you can do. Have a come to Jesus talk and give her an ultimatum. It sucks but it's your only play right now. If she doesn't commit to treatment and make a pledge to seriously dig herself out of this, you walk.
No. Pretty sure I didn't say that. I said I can. And some people find out by accident that they can. But I do think more people could if they wanted to. And I AM saying, it's very possible and drop your ignorance off at the door. Don't make assumptions of this girl because what she's saying IS possible.
So what were they doing? Snorkeling and stuff?
Again, not something you'll know for sure until you ask her out.
Honest answer will just hurt. Say that you only see her as friend and nothing more.
Hun, I’m a 65 year old married gay guy and even I can see thru this guy’s smoke.
And unfortunately, you’re the one who’s going to get burned. And as sure as the Pope’s Catholic, you’ll be saying he is the worst thing that has ever happened to you. So sorry to break it to you, but you know that now, right? Say yes, please say yes. ??
” Are you sure it ever was ” yeah there were 6 of us, over the past few months 2 of us moved out of the country and 2 of them are going to move out in couple of days. We used to be closest even when they were here but now it's just him and I somehow. And keep in mind that's how I feel.
Don't get me wrong tho he does support me and he is the best person to be honest and my problem is that I'm too attached to him. I was okay with how things were it's somehow out of balance now. On my side. I don't know how I got here but I'd like to just go back to what he was to me.
I feel like it will happen again with someone else. The thing is that it takes soooo long for me to open up to anyone or be close friends with people. I have a lot of friends at work, gym or school but I'm not really close to them. But we're so close and its not like that It was only me who wanted to be close he also wanted us to be close. And we are.
Is it helpful if I set some boundaries to our friendship? Like hang out less or no hugs or physical touching?
I'm sure you have traditions in your culture that you don't fuck married men, and that women who do so are looked down upon. How does your culture traditionally treat sexually immoral women? You're a hypocrite and only follow culture when it suits you.
I’m sure you both care about each other deeply, but she needs to go to a therapist (maybe a relationship one w both of you would be good), self medicating the pain isn’t going to help her trust you. I think it might be a lost cause unfortunately but she’s probably still with you bc she cares about you. But I think going to couples counseling could really clear the air for you guys, or even seeing if she’d wanna talk w a trusted friend who could mediate you both together. I think the betrayed partner tends to carry the hurt very closely to their heart (which is 100% justifiable) and it DOES take a long time to fix something that has been broken. I’d just continue to be patient w your gf during moments where she may bring it up, but if I were you I’d say like ‘hey our relationship doesn’t improve when you bring up the cheating incident in arguments, if you want to be w me then be w me and let’s fix the trust together’ I do think it’s petty and it keeps your partner stagnant from being able to process and trust you again. But trust is also very hard to get back and you may need to break up and start over fresh or something
Gang bangs > 3 somes
She's letting other women know that all you're interested in is sex. That you have no interest in them as people, and that you would fake a friendship in order to get sex. That way, women don't have to waste time on you and won't get their hopes up that you see them as human beings, because you don't.
Ha. Tell that to my SIL who would say “this is my last kid.” She has 7 kids. She's Catholic and uses the rhythm method.
I have 2. I use an IUD.
we’re still so young so what if he’s not the one?
Never just move for an SO. If you weren't dating your bf, would you consider Texas? Are you on board with the political views? Do you feel comfortable about how hard it could be to access birth control, plan B and abortion there?
OP making a pro and con list is autistic?
Ill be real. It's taking me at least 2 years to feel comfortable going to a one on one dinner with any friend, gender doesnt even factor
I'm kind of shocked at the amount of comments that are claiming that this is a normal thing. I'm a married man. I would never go to a one on one dinner with a woman other than my wife. I also have lots of female friends. My wife is not bothered by this. Why? Because those friendships are appropriate and both myself and my female friends make darned sure that there is nothing to suggest otherwise. This advice that this “guy friend” is looking for could certainly be given over the phone.
Heck, I talk to my ex-wife all the time over the phone. A woman with whom I've had three children and was married to for nearly 20 years. We might talk for an hour or more and laugh away together. My current wife isn't bothered by that at all.
Would I go to dinner with only she and I without my wife? Heck no. Why would I want to do anything to put a thought into my wife's head? That'd just be mean.
It's mean and thoughtless for OP's girlfriend to put thoughts like this into his head. Should he disallow the meeting? No. Should he take into consideration how she doesn't seem to care about his concerns? Heck yes.
Don't go back. Stay strong and don't go back. I guess if your family shows true contrition and takes action to build a connection, maybe it's worth resuming a relationship. But somehow I doubt they're willing to do the work.
And again, find a therapist who specializes in toxic family dynamics. There's a lingering question that you need to answer for yourself: Why did you value your family so much, when they valued you so little? You suffered so much pain for the sake of your family's happiness. That's an immense sacrifice. They, on the other hand, caused you so much pain–by stealing your man and then ordering you to shut up and accept the betrayal. That's one hell of a one-sided relationship.
Crappy behavior like this from immediate family can really fuck up a person. The relationships we have with our immediate family deeply influences how we relate to other people and the perspective through which we see the world. So even though you've removed them from your life, your mindset may have been skewed by what you've been through. So find a therapist.
At the very least, pick a time she's not preoccupied with something specific, and that no-one needs to do anything involving leaving the house for a few hours.
Last thing you want is to gear up to have the conversation, and be met with “Not now! I need to do this work thing/pay the electric bill/sort out a problem with my credit card” – or, in some cases worse, get half an hour into the conversation, be getting somewhere, and “I'm at the doctor's in half an hour, I need to go now”
Ikr? I cannot even believe it‘s a 30 yo man we talk about he acts like a horny teenager
No the rando isn’t important, your attempt at controlling her is the issue. Stop being a controlling freak and get some therapy.
[–]Randobon
-3 points 5 hours ago
Hide her, gotta find an ugly wingwoman when you go dating.
Very feminist, much solid advice.
Would you have still been friends with him if he didn't lend you the money? When you were in desperate need, was it for a toy?
You have to live with the decision. Can you afford to lose 50K? Really, you can't expect to get it back if you lend it out. I learned this lesson the hard way and lent out money that I didn't get back… The friendship ended. I forgot to notice if you have a wife, if so , what does she say?
I'm sorry to say this, but you posted 3 months ago requesting some nudes on another thread here on reddit. So you're already kind of 'branching out' albeit not opened the relationship/marriage with your wife anyway.
Now you're upset because she's the one who asks for an open marriage first when you've seemed to have strayed before.
Sure, the people who claim that she probably already has a bf on the side (ready to be 'open' about them) are probably right. She may have a guy already that's why she's dared to suggest this. How to deal with this heartbreak…as I've always said to many, there's no other way than go through the pain. You can't avoid it. Time will help soothe the pain some though.
Be honest to yourself. Are you happy within the marriage? I mean, you mention kids as excuse, but that's not good enough to stay put. Heck, you're trying to get nudes from other people only a few months ago too…so it doesn't sound like you're that satisfied being married anyway. If I were you, start considering the pros and cons of filing for divorce, or perhaps try separation first.
Either way, you can also request couples counseling with her if you can, I mean, if you guys do get a divorce. It'll help with coparenting.
I'd tell her she's starting the game in the red at -1. Then I'd make sure all the other bf's knew what was going on.
“He was a good man!”
“She never hurt a soul!”
Over and over again. Round and round the world spins.
He doesn't get to decide what you do.
Tell him that you are going back on these dates. If he doesn't want you going alone. He can come. If he doesn't want to come. That's to bad for him.
I’m just here to know how you had that much money to lend at the age of like 23
The colour correctors Only come in orange and red so works case get both and your normal skin colour doesn't change so just get a concealer in that colour. There are also a lot of makeup tutorials on covering bruises, hickeys and tattoos they should be helpful.
As for the swelling, everything that's already swollen will stay for a while, you can only really stop it from getting worse. The problem is that you were laying done when it happened and for quite a while after, so the blood could already pool around your eye, keep your head elevated and the eye iced to slow down the swelling as much as possible
Open relationship is not a solution, just defers the end a bit.
Or maybe speeds it up a bit…
You're not married. Why are you bank rolling her lifestyle while not saving or investing in your own net worth / assets. Maybe you are because a lot of info is missing. At the very least you need to have a clear conversation about life style and finances and see if you align together.
I can tell you first hand life style, spending habits and finances was the start of the destruction of my marriage. The ex wanted to jones it up and live way above our means, and I was working insane over time to make it happen. I'm 2 years divorced and have more financial freedom than I ever did in my marriage.
Accidentally replied with this to someone, but meant to just comment: It has been 5 months. You do not have to tolerate this kind of treatment from someone who is meant to love you and support you.
Yea you’re right I am making it bigger than it is Thanks for the advice
Good for her! There’s a lot of missing information on your post.
You can’t be seeking honest advice if you’re not willing to be honest in your post.