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mayawhite1 chat
Date: November 6, 2022
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mayawhite1 chat
There are plenty of men who would be more than happy to co parent with you. Who have lost their wives or girlfriends and are raising kids alone. Who would show you the world!
Let me tell you right now. This is a terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible idea. The execution of having a threesome seldomly aligns with the fantasy and what you think it's going to be like. And let me tell you from experience, it's extremely challenge to set up a FFM/FmF threesome. Trying to do this with a friend is a TERRIBLE idea let me say it again.
Why not do it with a guy if all you are after is an experience? You guys easily find a guy, make sure he gets tested, and have safe-sex.
Sounds like possible NPD. They Mimic who they are around. Only, they don't typically allow the SO to witness the change in personality or even introduce them to their different friends groups so I'm not sure. Obviously he doesn't have a grasp on who he is. Maybe BPD? There's something wrong there. I'd be careful.
Blowing 800$ up is not a mistake
He’s probably cheating and just wants to divert everything your way so he’s not caught
Kid?! ? I’m a 32 year old female, I have been there done that. Truth hurts, kid
My dad is the same way. He used to smash things in arguments with my mother. His own stuff, like iPad, glass table, etc.
Until one day I saw him explode and strike my mother in the face with me right in front of him.
Sounds like he needs a therapist
You didn't see this coming either. There's a lot more to the story. Something changed, drastically, and she won't explain it. The most likely thing is cheating.
you just really come off as a bitch
you are, though. You’re waffling on how you should feel about her sexually harassing an old man, putting off the conversation, called it ‘just not being that funny’… you’re downplaying it left and right.
If she wants you to get a new one. Tell her she can buy it herself for now. Unless she wants to wait till you move on together and then you’ll buy one.
I just don't know how to put it to words because I'm always left from dealing with her confused, anxious, and feeling like I'm going crazy
Yep, if you’re a people pleaser, and someone gives unsolicited advice that isn’t helpful or wanted, it creates a no win situation. Agree and you feel invalidated, disagree and they get defensive or angry. And no win situations will make most people feel confused anxious and crazy. So what you were feeling is totally normal. The good thing is that clear but kind boundaries around unsolicited advice often get people out of that trap. Hopefully it helps. Good luck!
Trying to establish WHY you believe something is not attacking you.
I haven't said the idea was forced upon you. It's a common idea. I'd just like you to consider why you think it's a good one. So far you haven't come up with any reasons, good, bad, or indifferent, only the statement that you believe it to be a positive idea.
He's cheating, dump and walk away, sorry He's worthless as a partner.
Why tf did you get downvoted for telling us what she said. ?♂️
He and you need to cut her off completely like yesterday. Get an attorney in case. He is emotionally and most likely physically cheating on you. He stayed the night at her house and they are saying I love you. She wanted to join your marriage. Maybe that was a ploy to lessen feelings of guilt by both of them. You need to divorce if he does not budge. Good luck.
At the start of the relationship it was different I guess it was more of the honey moon phase where we were constantly learning about each other.
It might help, if you aren’t already, to start going on activity dates outside of the home. See a movie, go to a museum, take a day trip together, go to a nice dinner, etc. This will all give you outside stimuli to talk about, plus shared experiences which will help grow your relationship! >
We actually go out to eat or do an activity 3-4 times a week. So its not like we are lounging around watching tv all day. But even then during the activity we talk maybe 5-10 min about what were doing and thats it.
That’s so cool. What a cool grandma. Sex is natural, normal and fun. None of us would be here without it.
Giving people presents that will bring them lasting pleasure is a thoughtful and interesting gift.
The only one I’m weird on is the tits. But maybe it’s how I’m reading it.
Loosen up a little. Sure, it’s wildly inappropriate but life is short, treat it like the joke it is.
Any way you look at it he is making you doubt him and if you call his bluff (so to say) his reaction will tell you everything. A therapist told me one time that when you tell your SO that you are getting tested for STD'S a normal response from them if they are not cheating is Why, I am not cheating on you, a cheater will say a few things like, ya, it probably won't hurt to get tested, or if you feel the need, or I haven't given you anything we use protection, they also will get worried that they have an STD, especially if you act like you have something wrong with you. Call him out and ask questions like you already know the answers to.
Divorce stats are easier to track than break ups though – they don't mean people who are together long-term but don't get married aren't also ending relationships. I'd bet there are just as many, or more, couples who are together for ten years and then break up as there are married couples who get divorced. If that's your main reason it honestly doesn't make much sense – just something to consider.
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Look up sexsomnia.
I went to a Botox party recently and I was the only lady out of the group that was open with her husband about what we were doing. I had to swear him to secrecy not to mention to other husbands. Obviously your partner needs to know about the nose job but other things you can keep quiet about.
Did he act like this when your toddler was born? And did you marry before of after your first baby?
There's no way mandatory reporters were okay with you being in multiple relationships with people that should now be on sex offender registries.
It can be hard to make rational decisions when someone is intentionally pushing your buttons and ramping up your emotions. That toxic man knew what he was doing. Now it's time to work on yourself and make sure you don't fall for that kind of crap again.
Good luck!
PS: Your ex is a saint for still being around and supportive
You were not. Reading your other replies, he is very judgemental and is definitely manipulating you. No 26-year-old wants to be with an 18-year-old for purely innocent reasons—especially not when meeting from the internet, where he could easily find someone closer to his age. There is no love there. You need to leave him.
And this guy is one of those, for sure,right? There's no talking to anyone anymore. You have to have 2 sides and hate the other side and hold up examples of things that you have no idea if they are appropriate to the situation. No nuance, no understanding, nothing, just fuck him and the horse he rode in on. Oh and all men are shit. All of them.
I think this was just a genuine accident. This is literally what plan b is intended for. If he profusely apologized and doesn’t have a history of this, I would just chalk it up to an accident. Imagine if you were drunk, about to sneeze and are supposed to remember NOT to cover your mouth (or some other natural, habitual act). I know you’re upset, but I think this is just an accident.
You need to leave him, sweetheart. It's not safe to live with someone so volatile and dangerous. Please, for your own safety, leave him.
I’m confused. He booked a trip, didn’t tell you and then you’re the secretive one? Sounds like he is trying to work some manipulation on you.
Therapy
You were spot on. He wanted you to be jealous, you weren’t and called him on it… he threw a fit. He will undoubtedly reach out again; run. block. avoid.
Some people develop the belief that if their partner isn’t irrationally jealous, they don’t care about them. They’ll set up scenarios subtly and when that doesn’t work, flat out try to make you jealous. It’s toxic and only goes downhill from there. He’s 31, a grown ass man and still acting like that. Just be grateful he let that red flag fly early on.
You cannot be a good father if you deny the existence of one of your children
And why are you so sure he won’t abandon your hypothetical children
Trauma and trust issues? You say you are waiting, and I can certainly understand and even applaud it. If you were to move on, it could be a disservice to your next SO, trying to complete with the wounded soul mate of the past, especially if you are putting her on a pedestal she doesn't want.
Is there a time frame? Is she working on her issues – therapy/counseling? Is there a realistic expectation that inside of the next 5 years she may be ready to see you?
I would recommend writing letters, old school ink on paper. Maybe once a week. Even tell her in the first one that you will try to write her every Saturday (or Sunday afternoon etc).
Tell her about your week, even if boring. Tell her about something interesting that happened and how it made you feel. Tell her you think of her often and that she is always in your prayers. Make sure your address and phone number are on the back of one page.
Scan the letters with your phone, email the pictures to yourself. You may want to read them later.
Letters like that will be a physical reminder of your hopes and prayers. While a phone call might cause her stress (bad timing, feeling of pressure), letters should not, as long as you don't demand anything. Don't ask for a phone call, don't ask for her to write. Don't beg for contact, just be there, at a distance, cheering her on until and unless she asks you to stop or you feel you can't keep going.
It may be that she calls you, it may be that she writes you (or E-mails)… but imagine if you write her every week for 18+ months and she returns to you. It would be a tale worth a book.
Keep praying, asking for guidance in this situation. Talk to your pastor about it.
In the meantime, don't be idle. Improve yourself spiritually, physically, emotionally and financially. If she returns to you, you will both be better for it. If she does not, and God puts someone else in your path, the time waiting will not be wasted.
He got played for sure but he didn't necessarily do anything to prevent it either. Hope he's learned that lesson the hard way.
Everything else doesn't matter until paternity is established. Contact a family court lawyer and explain the situation. They can petition the courts for a DNA test and from there, if the baby isn't his, he's off the hook. If the baby is his, he can tell the courts whether or not he wants any involvement in the child's life and the courts will establish child support from there.
Tell your partner to text the new mother that until paternity is legally established, they don't have anything to talk about and then ignore any further attempts at contact until paternity court. Save all the text messages. And talk to an attorney.
This may hurt to hear but his feelings are valid.
What? It's not a boundary mate. It's basic human decency.
“Sorry, one of my boundaries is that I don't like to be falsely accused of rape.”
She is unhinged and incredibly dangerous. He needs to leave her immediately.
He should be scared.
He needs to get it in writing that she's lying if possible and then leave immediately.
Tell your fiancé that unless she can guarantee her brother won’t show in a clown suit, you will need to postpone the wedding, point blank. Emphasize that this wedding is important to you, you are excited for it, and you feel that him being allowed to make a mockery of it and call attention to himself will ruin it for you, so you might as well not even go through with it if you can’t relax enough to enjoy it.
Fuck around and find out.
I preferred the cruise story. Also why are all these people delighted to receive activity packets??
What? He’s not a bad person? He just made a mistake
I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself. Now? It’s time to start pushing back.
Start asking questions—why did you send this to me so late? Why haven’t you responded to me? I asked a question, and you’re ignoring me, etc—this creates a paper trail. Keep pushing and pushing. This coworker will only continue to bully you if you allow them.
Uh, yes? And my partners did the same….. like I said, it’s normal. Never had any issues or concerns.
I'm tired of explaining that I in no way genuinely believed that I was perfect! Please, read my comments. I believed that me and him were a very good match but now I'm starting to think otherwise. I didn't run to reddit because of this ONE little incident.
I came here because I want my suspicions to be confirmed/denied and to get good advice. My boyfriend has been 'off' for a while now so I'm starting to think that maybe I'm not just imagining things.
I'm very happy with the replies I've recieved on this post but I'm tired of people who read 2 sentences, miss the context of the situation and skip the rest 🙁
This what I was wondering. Nothing makes this ok but it would be even more fucked up if these were personal pictures of unsustainable women rather than something they found on the internet somewhere.
If bad habits were easy to break, no one would have bad habits.
If you’re ready to throw away your current relationship because an old crush MIGHT want to be with you, you should absolutely break it off with your gf. That’s not fair to her at all.