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Date: October 11, 2022
My ex husband and I were together for 34 years and he's now remarried to a very wonderful person and it's been very hard for me because he was also my best friend for 34 years but I have limited my interaction with him because I have respect for their marriage. The reason why I told you that is because if his ex had any respect for you and your relationship she'd limit her interactions with your man but the truth is that he's the one who has disrespected you and your relationship and I hate to tell you this but I've got a gut feeling that if you contact his ex and ask her to leave him alone and stop being disrespectful of your relationship it's gonna blow up in your face and most likely will put your man in the position to have to choose between you and her and he might surprise you by choosing her over you. But me personally would rather end the relationship on my own because face facts he's the one who is being disrespectful of your relationship not her. He's letting these things happen because if he wants the relationship with you he would end what's endangering your relationship but instead he is sneaking around behind your back and that's not acceptable behavior if you ask me and I'd never tolerate it. He's the problem not her because he's allowing this to happen.
Celui que tu aimes, laisse-le libre. S'il te revient, il t'appartient. S'il ne te revient pas, il ne t'a jamais appartenu.
She’s feeling guilty or bad for some reason and is doing the ‘friend’ thing.
Tell (politely)her it’s fine, you got it the first time and that an undefined period of no contact is best for you both.
Then block and get on with your life.
Yep, that's my point, so did she
I did talk to him! It's all in the post
If you don’t want to shave you don’t have to- but also he doesn’t have to be with you if he doesn’t want to either. It doesn’t sound like he demanded it or anything – sounds more like you forced him to say it anyways. Can’t fault him for being honest.
“That I was wrong, selfish , and dumb. I ruined our friendship but that I will use this to grow and be a better person”
The only thing he said was “how do you know I’m cheating on you”. He did not say he wasn’t cheating on me. That was very telling.
Not once did he try to fix things or at least say something to win me back but instead, he said divorcing him will hurt my child in the future. That I’m taking his happiness from him. By knowing her father and mother are not together.
He even said he did not care about me. He says I don’t do anything in our house while he works 6 days a week. I make him dinner every night so he comes home to a meal, meal prep for him for his work week, treat him like my king, and he says he does not give a damn about me. Why did he not reveal that before we got married and had a child? Maybe he just wanted to give his parents a grandchild. I can never truly understand.
I didn’t really look at any other comments, but in my experience I’ve always just subtly referenced it but have never out right told my partners I am bisexual.
I’m romantically/sexually interested in men and only sexually interested in women. A good example I guess is when my partners in the past have asked me who my celebrity crush is, it’s always a woman.
I feel like if my current partner asked me outright if I was bisexual, I would be honest. But the conversation hasn’t happened. Maybe he doesn’t want to ask me, but honestly it’s not something I really feel is necessary to share because my sexuality will never affect our relationship.
So your wife has no idea of the extent of your relationship with this woman? Your families are hanging out together and your wife has no idea that your heart belongs to your friend??
Your having an affair and your enjoying all this attention too
You know you did the right thing. You’re just uncomfortable with the feeling you have afterwards and are hesitating based on that. It’s all good, sometimes it just doesn’t work out and that’s part of it. Find someone aligned with what you want out of life, don’t force it and create a shit situation for everyone involved.
See a therapist to process this. You do not have to be owned by something that happened before your wife met you. I also personally don't think she betrayed you by not saying anything. She couldn't go back and change it, it wasn't happening again, she hadn't cheated, all it could do was hurt you. I think this is in the group of things that do more harm than good to say.
You may feel differently though, so see what you can do to think this through. Your brother though, is terrible. Him throwing this into your face after years of you being with your wife is cruel.