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Date: November 5, 2022
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If you are looking to settle down then your current living situation is not the best.
NO WOMAN IN THE WORLD WOULD BE OKAY WITH THIS!
And you would be a liar if you do not tell your girl, and in my mind, every liar is a cheater and I am positive this thought will cross your girlfriend's mind.
You need to make a choice, have a life and settle down or keep screwing around with your best friend and his girl.
Remember his life is good, he has his girl and she knows everything, yet you are contemplating keeping your girl in the dark.
It would be completely unfair to her, and you would be a bad partner to her and every other girl, if you maintain this living situation.
Well it’s never a good idea to confront someone who’s in a volatile state and acting unpredictably especially if you have concerns about their mental health. Good luck OP, I hope you guys figure everything out.
see i think he does, but he doesnt respect himself enough to do it when im not involved
“I'm worried he'll always be judgemental whenever I want to have a drink around him”
So, you don't intend to stay sober?
It's your call, obviously. But if you continue with your binge drinking it will cause further problems and may end your relationship.
Honestly a beer enthusiast may not be a good match for you, but again, your call.
If you're ever interested in addressing your binge drinking problem, the r/stopdrinking sub is a very supportive space to start.
What you've been doing for the last 5 days is great. If you were to continue that, I bet this feeling of dread would disappear.
While I mostly agree with your comment, I am greatly concerned about the potential of grooming in this situation. He was her highschool teacher less than a year ago. The ages aren't as relevant as the power imbalance. I do agree that we are the company we keep, but I'm also someone who believes in trying to help a friend who's being taken advantage of. If she won't listen no matter how hard OP tries, OP needs to just tell the wife and drop the friend.
I hope none of this came off malicious. It wasn't my intent. I'm just really concerned for OP's friend
I’d end it unless you want to carry on like this indefinitely. He’s taking no responsibility and no steps to improve.
ADHD or stress may be a reason he loses his jobs but it’s not an excuse. If he’s doing nothing to improve and just keeps rolling out the same old thing, he’s not relationship material.
What would he do if you weren’t enabling him and supporting him?
I (44F) have ADHD. Lots of people do. There are meds and strategies to help mitigate. He doesn’t even seem to be trying as he doesn’t even show up and fail, he just doesn’t show up.
He’s not adulting and as such, I’d end it.
Yep know she has issue if it was a reaction then maybe, but she knew what she was doing. She needs some serious therapy and you might want to think twice before having kids with her.
Well that’s what bothers me. I was literally ‘just a bit of fun to her’. Makes me feel like some sort of human dildo