That's not at all true. It's not like I'm sitting her actively thinking “hey imma cheat on her”.
But when she shows 0 interest in any form of physical intimacy and a other women comments on my appearance or says something flirty I get an urge to go with it.
Something on that retreat clicked for her and now she has a completely different outlook on love, sex, and relationships. This is her now. She probably always thought this way but didn't know or couldn't put the thoughts to words. You two can totally sit down and talk more about it but you can't force someone to change their mind. She has discovered she is poly/open, you are not, so if you guys continue this when one of you (most likely you) is gonna get really hurt. If you are not liking the idea of opening up the relationship to others then you're not poly/open and thus you two are not compatible.
You can totally wait around and see if she changes but you could also spend that time finding someone who is on the same page as you.
No one here is gonna have the magic advice to get you to change her mind.
As I said. She is happy with the acts of service. I said that and asked about the physical touch. If she is happy. Then maybe you can believe me in that?
If things stay the same one of you will have to concede and eventually resentment will build. Either he goes against what he wants and marries you to make you happy and he secretly is upset. Or you remain bf and gf forever and you’re upset because you want to be married. I’d try to sit down and have a very serious and frank discussion on his true feelings regarding marriage.
No. Think about how distraught you would be if you did these things to someone you claim to actually love. Think how upset and devastated you would be, and how you would immediately seek help to fix yourself, and you'd separate yourself from this person you love to make sure it never happens again. That's not what he's done. Instead, this pattern of abuse continues. he PUNCHED you. He STRANGLED you.
Of course he's nice some of the time. ALL abusers are nice some of the time. If they weren't, then nobody would stay with them long enough to be abused to begin with.
If he's going to change, it's only going to be after years of therapy and hard work on his part.
No. Think about how distraught you would be if you did these things to someone you claim to actually love. Think how upset and devastated you would be, and how you would immediately seek help to fix yourself, and you'd separate yourself from this person you love to make sure it never happens again. That's not what he's done. Instead, this pattern of abuse continues. he PUNCHED you. He STRANGLED you.
Of course he's nice some of the time. ALL abusers are nice some of the time. If they weren't, then nobody would stay with them long enough to be abused to begin with.
If he's going to change, it's only going to be after years of therapy and hard work on his part.
You're still very young, it's wayyyy too soon to be thinking like this.
That's not at all true. It's not like I'm sitting her actively thinking “hey imma cheat on her”.
But when she shows 0 interest in any form of physical intimacy and a other women comments on my appearance or says something flirty I get an urge to go with it.
Thoughts and urges are different things.
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He is not ghosting you over vibrator but that you lied all this time and he can't trust you.
Something on that retreat clicked for her and now she has a completely different outlook on love, sex, and relationships. This is her now. She probably always thought this way but didn't know or couldn't put the thoughts to words. You two can totally sit down and talk more about it but you can't force someone to change their mind. She has discovered she is poly/open, you are not, so if you guys continue this when one of you (most likely you) is gonna get really hurt. If you are not liking the idea of opening up the relationship to others then you're not poly/open and thus you two are not compatible.
You can totally wait around and see if she changes but you could also spend that time finding someone who is on the same page as you.
No one here is gonna have the magic advice to get you to change her mind.
As I said. She is happy with the acts of service. I said that and asked about the physical touch. If she is happy. Then maybe you can believe me in that?
If things stay the same one of you will have to concede and eventually resentment will build. Either he goes against what he wants and marries you to make you happy and he secretly is upset. Or you remain bf and gf forever and you’re upset because you want to be married. I’d try to sit down and have a very serious and frank discussion on his true feelings regarding marriage.
This man sounds really abusive. I think you need to keep yourself and your toddler safe by just leaving him.
Don’t wait until May, this guy seems horrible.
Your wife is either lesbian or bi.
But my best guess would be leaning more towards lesbian based on her reaction and how turned on she got.
Wtf…your insecurities may be getting to you. You just smelt something…that someone who frequents your house wears..
You really think being a single mother is a good idea?
No. Think about how distraught you would be if you did these things to someone you claim to actually love. Think how upset and devastated you would be, and how you would immediately seek help to fix yourself, and you'd separate yourself from this person you love to make sure it never happens again. That's not what he's done. Instead, this pattern of abuse continues. he PUNCHED you. He STRANGLED you.
Of course he's nice some of the time. ALL abusers are nice some of the time. If they weren't, then nobody would stay with them long enough to be abused to begin with.
If he's going to change, it's only going to be after years of therapy and hard work on his part.
No. Think about how distraught you would be if you did these things to someone you claim to actually love. Think how upset and devastated you would be, and how you would immediately seek help to fix yourself, and you'd separate yourself from this person you love to make sure it never happens again. That's not what he's done. Instead, this pattern of abuse continues. he PUNCHED you. He STRANGLED you.
Of course he's nice some of the time. ALL abusers are nice some of the time. If they weren't, then nobody would stay with them long enough to be abused to begin with.
If he's going to change, it's only going to be after years of therapy and hard work on his part.
“Yes, poor areas have heightened crime.”
That is the correct answer. Do not go there. It is not your fault your friend is a dumbass.
Stop wasting your time with this guy. He sounds exhausting. A relationship should not be this hard. Anyone who tells you it is, never had a good one.