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kk_millions for specials
Date: November 4, 2022
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kk_millions for specials
If anyone in these comments makes you feel weird or wrong for this DO NOT listen to them. You read things on a daily basis that have zero effect on your mood or mental health. This thing made you feel weird and pushed you to Reddit, so it is your right to address it, especially since she obviously wanted to brush it under the rug by closing and scrolling through. Chances are, it made you feel weird because she told you she wasn’t that kind of girl in the past and made you prove yourself worthy. Also be wary as that guy could still be lingering are as a “friend” or “like a brother” it’s a story as old as time. If that’s the case don’t let that slide, she’s a liar point blank. So address the situation and clear the air, don’t let these vultures on Reddit disregard your feelings as a man. This will show you her true character ask her for an explanation which you’ll probably get trickle truths. If you aren’t satisfied with the explanation or left with more questions than answers reconsider if you want to be with her. The past is the past, and she has every right to live her life as she sees fit but you do not owe her acceptance or understanding for actions you don’t agree with or that make you feel weird. All the best, and do not sacrifice your mental health for anyone OP
Judging by your reaction to something involuntary happening I can see why he has trouble admitting to it.
It seems that he might be scared that you might end up worse, or even hurting yourself. This is why he might be saying no. When someone wants to breakup, they break up. I’ve never heard it as a choice lol Like “I want to break up!” Him: “You do? Yeah… no.” ? Just tell him you feel smothered and he’s being clingy and you need time apart from him. It’s becoming too much for you. If he doesn’t stop, he’s only going to make you push him away even more. Be honest with him.
You could start by not emotionally cheating on your gf.
Does…does he know that a cat is like a 15-20 year commitment? That kitten may literally be alive when y'all are 40. Does he KNOW that?!?
Idk what to tell you here, honestly. Not caring about/not caring for their pets is a deal breaker for me.
Y'know what my roommate and I did when we were worried their cat ate my bracelet? Panicked and shelled out $800 for an x-ray at the emergency clinic because we knew it could have killed her. And he was only worried about his earring? Damn.
apparently, your man does. But I have no idea why anyone would. I think it's ridiculous. “hey, you are enjoying yourself sexually by using an inanimate toy, I feel threatened and inadequate”….seriously? Toys are used to enhance the experience. How could anyone be upset over something that can make sex better? fragile ego much?
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i'm sorry if it comes off like that. i agree with you that i did get attached too quickly and that's what i wanna combat hence the post itself. once again, i do not feel like she owed me anything just because i got attached, but she's the one who brought up the idea of us dating in the first place and said it could be possible. of course, that does not mean that we have to. but i still felt hurt because later on i realised that we were being vulnerable to each other and to say something like that and then backtrack is kinda unfair because of course it would've affected me. but i accept the blame for being attached too and not taking the hint that she wasn't actually interested
Unfortunately there's only so much you can do about cats and it's usually least painful to meet in the middle – change as much with the cat as possible and then switch the human behavior to get the rest of the way. What about the cat is bothering the girlfriend at night? Is it something you could fix with a fan/white noise machine? I'm a light sleeper with 3 cats who are allowed in our room and I sleep fine most of the time, so it's definitely doable, but sometimes it's going to mean you let the cat be a cat. Has she considered any accommodations that might solve whatever she's struggling with that would keep the cat allowed in the room?
Personally, I'd side with the cat over the girlfriend. The cat has lived the way she's lived for 6 years, probably since way before you met this woman, and it's pretty unfair to the cat that you're making her live with this witch who does nothing but locks her out and yells at her when she struggles to adjust after only a month. If this is how she's dealing with a cat, I can't imagine how she'd deal with a potty training toddler, so hopefully you don't want kids. But one contributing factor to my divorce was also my ex husband wanting to re-home the dogs even though he insisted on a high energy breed and then did nothing with them. I rehomed him instead – 4 years later it's still the best decision I ever made. Just saying.
Your boyfriend (should be ex) is a hypocritical @$$hole. If he makes you feel awful, and doesn't respect you, you shouldn't be with him.
That feeling won't last. I felt the same way. Slowly that sadness turned to anger and I was so frustrated and betrayed. But ultimately it will pass. It's okay to allow yourself to feel this way, it's normal. When this happened to me I felt like it would never pass and that I'd be heartbroken forever but trust me that you will learn to love yourself and realize you deserve better. Just take a day at a time and if that doesn't work, take an hour at a time. Hell, a minute at a time. It's a process. Best of luck
Thats a huge number of red flags in my oppinion. I think your right to be concerned.
The best thing you can do for your friend is keep her close. Give her someone to talk to be there for her l that way if something happens, she has an ally.
Some people don't realise it, but separation is one of the first things that happens in nasty relationships.
Tell her your concerns, but if she cant see it, don't press the issue, you'll drive her away if you do.
Good luck
chin up OP! you are not overreacting at all. as a lifelong weeb, this has always been a sticking point with partners. folks who are willing to have conversations about why this character can be fun, but the way they’re written or depicted is offensive or degrading, are the only type of folks i’d even consider dating. anime is something i enjoy and would like to share with others — but i can only do that if they also acknowledge that the depictions are flawed.
i’ll often stop watching an anime if on the first ep there’s a pervert character or an upskirt shot lol. there’s plenty of anime out there, good ones that don’t bother with that crap at all…
I would like to suggest that you start looking for alternative places to stay just in case.. He may have apologized but that doesn’t mean that it won’t happen again. He sounds immature acting out like he did.
Not some more. For the rest of his fucking life.
One of my friends cried because she was in a jury that had decided that a man was guilty of stealing. Her heart strings were tugged at because he couldn’t afford a family holiday or any extra curricular for his kids. His testimony was all about how he wanted his kids to have a normal upbringing and he could barely afford to feed them and keep a roof over their heads. So instead of his wife getting a job, or just communicating with the kids that they couldn’t have everything he stole from the post he was delivering. Anyone sending cash as a gift, he’d pocket it and resell the envelope. He even had a method for doing it so the envelope wouldn’t be damaged and could easily be reseated.
She felt awful saying guilty because it would make their family worse off if he went to prison.
The thing is, he knew stealing was wrong. He knew that in order to make his kids happy, there were children opening empty envelopes on their birthdays.
He knew it was wrong and hurting others but did it anyway, knowing the risk was prison so he consented to that risk.
Your, hopefully now ex, knows what he did is wrong and accepted that he could lose his PhD and decided that was an acceptable risk.
He is a predator and the university awarding him a PhD will give him the credentials to do the same to other students throughout his career.
This is your opportunity to prevent one of those horrific scandals you hear about where professors sleep with students to give them better grades or to take advantage.
It can happen, I tested positive for trich a while ago even though only being with my partner for over 2 years straight, Ive even had testing in between them as I’ve been pregnant & given birth (it’s routine in pregnancy) I thought he might have past it onto me but his tests were negative. Sometimes things happen it’s not always cheating.
yeah yeah i know it's not healthy behavior but like… damn this went nuclear fast
He’s leaving a door open because he’s not sure. Don’t do it. It will hamper your ability to recover from the break up and move on. If in a year from now you want to be friends with him and you’ve moved on maybe but really this is for his benefit. Then if he can’t go out and do what he wants to do and he misses you, he can come back.
I didn’t. I mean this in the nicest possible way, but this is a combination of OP wording things poorly and reading comprehension issue on your end my friend.
we would talk and meet up on and off for about a year
At one point during this year…
When he says “this year”, he’s referring to the year they were hooking up
It’s possible but then at least he will be a good looking divorcee instead of a fat, sad one
Woman closer to his age are perfectly capable of having children so don't buy into that lie he is trying to sell.
Show up for her a little bit. Sounds like she’s feeling the need to be romanced a little, or to have something sexy and fun and playful in her life…Instead of arguing with her about it, just try it out, Romcom style.
No one likes to feel obligated to have sex…we all want to feel seduced…so plan a nice date. Show up with flowers…don’t just do it once…make it frequent at first, like once/week at least…buy her a gift, like jewelry….just try to really show up for her and my guess is the sex will come sooner than you think…just don’t whine about it or open any more tense or stressful conversations about it for a while…just be fun and light
Jacko above has edited their answer after being dragged multiple times by multiple subsequent commenters.
I /was/ saying it’s not true that two blue eyed people CAN’T have a brown eyed child. Of course they can. Ridiculous.
You don't deserve her.
Pleas refer to the other reply to this thread. We both support each other and try to make each others lives easier
Yeah i would will do thanks
Would maybe also go with her mum for giving OP a temporary vacation to recharge.
Would maybe also go with her mum for giving OP a temporary vacation to recharge.
Stalkers have a mental defect that doesn’t go away. I promise.
I think you should do a paternity test nonetheless to be sure, you never know. And after that my only advice it’s to used condoms next time. I understand you’re young and didn’t think about that, but welcome to the real world where your actions have consequences
I don't believe him when he says you are an exception and you shouldn't either. Also, there is no glory in being “not like the other .”
What responsibility? The mother was apparently not ready to be a parent ,so they went to court and made it formal . His priority is the best interest of his kid . And it is quite damaging to have a mother in your life that is not even sure she wants to be around . I think he did good at every step of the way .
I have talked to her??? What do you suggest I add to the ongoing conversation moose
I'd rather think that anything that increases the chances of a baby fying is inherently dangerous. There is no risk in a crib. There is a risk woth bed sharing.
You also speak like humans didn't have 10 kids and only half that number would reach adulthood back then.
Maybe don't go around being uncivil to people?
How long does he go for?
“Guy I'm seeing exclusively for over a year” is what we normally call a boyfriend, and this one cheated on you.
Porn addiction. I'd bet $1000.
We’re bartenders, he’s a restaurant manager. she’s sleeping in bed right next to me right now. She’s can’t sleep It’s really awkward.
then stay with him and waste more time of ur life worrying about whether he is actually attracted to u or faking it.
You let him f*** you; you're already pulling your weight in the relationship.
Never be someone's backup plan!
Honestly they're both terrible people who need to grow the fuck up already. I mean, 27 and 28? That's way too old to be acting like this
I tried to post from another throw away account but it didnt work because of the naming convention for the throw away name, which I didnt know about. I did post more or less the same text, but I keep the ages different, cause I dont want anyone to idetify us. I have several friends who are active on reddit, so I need to be careful about asking for advice online.
I am saying keep working there PERIOD. Even if you were married, it would be somewhat out of bounds to ask you to quit your job for him.
It is up to him to win you back. He has the inside track because he lives with you.
If he can't handle you working there he can pack up and leave.
Sunk cost fallacy. Would you rather “throw away” 5 years or your entire life staying with some bitch who accuses you of being abusive. Also you wouldn’t be throwing it into the trash you got what you got out of it and now it’s over
You’re honestly so hypocritical it’s hilarious(in a sad way). You told this man to his face you never really loved him and expect him to be exclusive to you after?
Fuck getting a 2nd wife, he should just get rid of you and get an actual wife(which you are not)
Leave this man alone
They've been hooking up and close friends for a year. He should know by now if he has feelings for her, considering what they're doing is basically a relationship minus meeting family and being exclusive.
He's led her on long enough now. Dating her and entering a relationship just to see if he gets feelings for her is 100% unfair to her. You should have feelings for somebody BEFORE you get into a relationship with them.
You sound very immature. Do yourself and your boyfriend a favour: do not get married. You’re not ready.
You must tell her. You have to be 100% honest with her. You need to take responsibility for your actions, even if you didn’t intend to cheat. What if she did the same thing to you? How would you feel if she never told you? It’s eating you alive now, so she’s going to realise that something is up anyway.
Run right now. Don't look back. Ever.
“Is attempted rape grounds for a breakup?” There I fixed your title for you
?
I'm so glad you took the advice you got here to heart. I am glad you are reconnecting with your wife. I am also glad you were able to see a therapist and get some issues sorted. I hope you are able to get the depression controlled so you can be more yourself again. Keep up the good work. Keep connecting with your wife emotionally. Keep sharing good times together. IIRC, you also had adult children? When you're up to it, drop them a line, too.
We are rooting for your success.
Who needs the heartache of distrust. He is untrustworthy and the sooner you remove the source of distrust you are going be happier. IMO he should be history.
I regretfully have to agree with this comment more than any I've read so far. It's not a nice comment, but the truth often isn't, unfortunately.
Intentions aside, she’s being disrespectful and disregarding boundaries
And you don't think that's creepy when he hasn't even met me before? Why would he automatically think what he's doing is ok? How could he possibly think I'd be interested in having sex with him and we've never met? I am not interested in having sex with him and just because a woman goes on a date does not mean she is interested in sex. I don't know what's with society and why people think this is the norm. A man takes a woman out on a date and pays for her food. She is obligated to have sex wit him.
Yeah, I had sex with the last guy I went on a date with. But it was mutual physical attraction. He was being indirect too but I was ok with it because I actually wanted him. See the difference? It's ok if the woman is sexual interested in the man. But if she's not and the man is hinting at sex it's a turn off.
Judging by your 1 other post…. you seem like you are into viscous liquids and that's cool.
I think “him not cumming” is frustrating you obviously but you don't need to make excuses if you do not want sex you can absolutely just say it. I would assume he is worried about pregnancy or performance and he probably has some kind of anxiety and needs to not get so much in his head about it but only he really knows.
By having empathy and understanding that this will likely be a marriage ender AND a huge shock to her, you cant get visibly angry at her, you will have to have a bit of understanding that she might get angry, since you are the one throwing a gigantic curveball in the marriage
Be compassionate, but also clear, no pussy footing, no promises you dont intend to keep, kind compassionate honesty
Im childfree myself, if i was in her shoes it would end the marriage, im that opposed to parenthood and wouldnt want to share a home with a child, this is gonna hurt you both a lot, but i hope she can find some understanding for you aswell
Your child absolutely deserves a stable loving home and not be bounced around and i hope your wife can look beyond her feelings and understand yours
Good luck with everything, i hope you can built a beautiful bond with your daughter
When you decide to stay with a cheater, two things need to happen; first, then need to work to regain your trust by being fully honest and transparent. Second, you need to actually allow yourself to trust him again. If you can't, no one would ever blame you. But that means you should just end it now. Healthy relationships can't work without trust.
Obviously I'm not here saying you should trust him immediately. But if he does in fact show you that he's made an effort to be someone you can trust, you can't just hold things over him forever. We're putting the cart way before the horse here, but it's something you need to consider.
Finally, you should ask him why he did what he did. And don't accept any cookie cutter answers like I was drunk, or I don't know. Being drunk isn't an excuse. He knows why it happened. Good luck.
I mean you should be leaning towards divorce too, if this is how you’re being treated in your own home.
He’s either jealous of your success or he believes a woman’s place is at home. Neither option is good and both should make you say “fuck that noise, I’m not a bang maid and I’d rather have no partner than one who can’t muster up support for someone they’re supposed to love”
No, going away one weekend a month and turning your phone off so not even your partner can contact you is weird, no matter which sex is doing it. What if there is an emergency? You should be able to rely on your partner, and if your partner is purposefully making themselves unavailable for one weekend a month, I don't think that's fair.
Those kinds of “observations” are left for the hostile world outside. Inside the relationship, it’s supposed to be supportive, loving, and gentle. He’s abusive.
This isn’t about being factual, it’s about hurting you (which he knows he is doing, don’t believe him when he says he doesn’t) and it’s about control (the military does this – they break you down through abuse, and they build you back up so they can ensure your loyalty to the Corp during the worst kinds of violence).
His chipping away at your self-esteem is a way to erode your identity as an individual, and make you dependent on him for any personal validation.
If it sounds horrifying, it’s because it actually is… he is trying to become your drug of choice. That is why so many stay in toxic relationships… they are addicted to that horrible person for the dopamine hit.
SOLUTION: You need to get away for a while. Why? Because our brains a malleable, and this person is doing a lot damage that could take years to undo. (1) You leave. Doesn’t have to be forever, but definitely start with a few days. No contact. Just take your space. (2) You need a good counsellor. Think of them as coach in this game of life. They teach you skills so that you can always strive to maintain internal peace. (3) NEVER allow any person who would say a disparaging word about your physical appearance to ever be close enough to you that you can hear their words. You’re a human being, not some 2 dimensional photograph. Anyone who loves only the way you look, will never love your personality and thoughts and your ideas about everything.
Take it from an old lady who’s lived a lot, life is reeeeealllly short. It gets shorter when you spend it with people who hurt your heart. You can’t choose a lot of things in life, but you always have a choice about who you talk to, and this little fuqqer does not deserve your very precious time.
Good luck. Be gentle with your heart. Be merciless to those who choose to harm it.
It's a shame you still married him.
And it's a shame you just had a baby.
But this man is literally just as bad as your monster-in-law. He's refusing to take accountability for any of his actions, refusing to do therapy and put in the work in, and is telling you to suck it up and get over it.
Honey, NOTHING has changed except your zip code.
Yup! Many are suffering from intense body dysmorphia so afterwards they still aren’t happy.
Easiest fix is to have people seek out a therapist for two months and if nothing is mentally off in why they want the surgery then fine let them go have it. But if something isn’t okay about their mental state, it’s good they did t get the surgery.
But that wouldn’t happen cause the cosmetic industry wouldn’t be as lucrative as it is now cause they prey on people with body dysmorphia the most to get all that ???