I’d recommend checking out r/DeadBedrooms for advice on this. They regularly speak about these topics, and some have been able to overcome these sexual intimacy issues.
Be warned, some might not be as welcoming / positive, but generally you’ll get some sound advice from people who are going through what you are right now.
There is a genuine possibility that your gf was buzzed/drunk and was so into her other interaction that she didn’t notice.
I completely understand your frustration and I comment you for your self control in the moment.
That being said, I would just be more observant with how she interacts with others.
Also, I would talk to your gf. Sit her down and truly express to her how it made you feel and make her know you’re serious. She might feel embarrassed that she didn’t even know. She needs to know that she crossed a serious boundary and talk it through.
What I did not mention was that a big part of me and her hanging out was also just watching TV series and talking about all sorts of stuff. I have been vulnerable with her and she with me. For that reason alone I care so much more about our friendship than for the physical intimacy.
I know breaking up will also get rid of the friendship. And I ideally I would like to be friends because she IS important to me and I do care for her. She is not just any girl I just have sex with, she also is a close friend I can be vulnerable with. That is why I also feel bad for still being confused about wether I actually like her or not.
I want to help her and I know breaking up might be the best thing to do. But as a friend of hers the idea truely haunts me especially considering her current situation.
Speak to her. It seems like your gut feeling is telling you there’s definitely something there, and I don’t think you should disregard that, but in reality you still don’t know for sure. And at the off chance that it isn’t what it looks like, going to extremes like cameras and such or even just approaching her in an accusatory manner could do a lot of damage to your relationship. I think if you were to go that route the only thing I would condone would be to try pay attention to her phone passcode and go through it. But again, if there’s nothing going on that might lead to problems afterwards in terms of the trust in your relationship. Especially considering that you haven’t had any reason to think she’s cheating besides this, even looking back, right?
So yeah, I’d say talk to her. And if she literally has no explanation for the noises or her explanation doesn’t make sense, ask if she’d be comfortable letting you look at her phone immediately, without giving her a chance to delete anything. If she says no, then that would not be 100% cause she could feel disrespected about the accusation if it’s not true, but it be pretty telling still cause why not just show the phone. At the same time, you might not find anything in her phone regardless. So basically I think the bottom line is that this depends largely on how your conversation together goes and how you feel about it after. You should be able to speak to your partner about issues pertaining to your relationship. The only thing I’d say is to not go into the conversation in an accusatory way, but rather bring up a legitimate concern (brought to you by someone oblivious to the situation with no reason to lie) and ask her to explain.
you are right Anything can happen
I’d recommend checking out r/DeadBedrooms for advice on this. They regularly speak about these topics, and some have been able to overcome these sexual intimacy issues.
Be warned, some might not be as welcoming / positive, but generally you’ll get some sound advice from people who are going through what you are right now.
Sounds like a wise decision.
Time to let him go.
I remember first time I went to a byob strip club in Iowa. I didn't even know such a thing existed prior to that night. What a great time.
And like the rest said, your wife appears to be gay. Sorry man and I wish good health to your child.
There is a genuine possibility that your gf was buzzed/drunk and was so into her other interaction that she didn’t notice.
I completely understand your frustration and I comment you for your self control in the moment.
That being said, I would just be more observant with how she interacts with others.
Also, I would talk to your gf. Sit her down and truly express to her how it made you feel and make her know you’re serious. She might feel embarrassed that she didn’t even know. She needs to know that she crossed a serious boundary and talk it through.
What I did not mention was that a big part of me and her hanging out was also just watching TV series and talking about all sorts of stuff. I have been vulnerable with her and she with me. For that reason alone I care so much more about our friendship than for the physical intimacy.
I know breaking up will also get rid of the friendship. And I ideally I would like to be friends because she IS important to me and I do care for her. She is not just any girl I just have sex with, she also is a close friend I can be vulnerable with. That is why I also feel bad for still being confused about wether I actually like her or not.
I want to help her and I know breaking up might be the best thing to do. But as a friend of hers the idea truely haunts me especially considering her current situation.
Ur comment needs to be higher up so OP can see wut a real bff is like. And I rlly hope she divorces that SOAB and drops her “best friend”
Yes, it is common knowledge that children should not be introduced to man after man and then lose each.
Children need stability, not to have a constant string of men run thru their lives and leave
Speak to her. It seems like your gut feeling is telling you there’s definitely something there, and I don’t think you should disregard that, but in reality you still don’t know for sure. And at the off chance that it isn’t what it looks like, going to extremes like cameras and such or even just approaching her in an accusatory manner could do a lot of damage to your relationship. I think if you were to go that route the only thing I would condone would be to try pay attention to her phone passcode and go through it. But again, if there’s nothing going on that might lead to problems afterwards in terms of the trust in your relationship. Especially considering that you haven’t had any reason to think she’s cheating besides this, even looking back, right?
So yeah, I’d say talk to her. And if she literally has no explanation for the noises or her explanation doesn’t make sense, ask if she’d be comfortable letting you look at her phone immediately, without giving her a chance to delete anything. If she says no, then that would not be 100% cause she could feel disrespected about the accusation if it’s not true, but it be pretty telling still cause why not just show the phone. At the same time, you might not find anything in her phone regardless. So basically I think the bottom line is that this depends largely on how your conversation together goes and how you feel about it after. You should be able to speak to your partner about issues pertaining to your relationship. The only thing I’d say is to not go into the conversation in an accusatory way, but rather bring up a legitimate concern (brought to you by someone oblivious to the situation with no reason to lie) and ask her to explain.
You call the police.