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Date: November 3, 2022
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Even if you're going with friends and none of your friends are willing to switch dates? We don't know if they've tried or if they're willing but if you're doing it with other people, would you be so quick to change schedules?
I think the issue has less to do with age and more to do with the fact they got married too early in their relationship.
No cuz why is he being so extra ?
They obviously didn’t “meddle” with it. I never heard OP say she didn’t cheat on him
Do you really want to stay with someone who posts nude photos of his ex online? Now that you have some insight into who he really is, you might want to reconsider your relationship.
Your relationship doesn’t sound healthy. He shouldn’t be guilting you or manipulating you into doing what he wants. A healthy relationship doesn’t work that way. He doesn’t seem to trust you and that’s a huge red flag as well. Sound like he slowly wants to isolate you from everyone. You deserve better.
You can attend both and should. Great job getting your medical degree! I hope your work gives you the kind of independence that minimises your family's tendency to play favourites.
This comes down to personal preference of the two people, and what each is okay with. There's no “should” on this.
If it's a deal breaker for you to know this stuff about your BF's past, then probably the relationship won't work. But it's also ok for him to have a boundary about his privacy and his life before you. Focus on whether you two can compromise rather than “right” and “wrong” because coercing him to tell you won't make either of you happy. At this point I doubt you'd even trust that he's telling you the truth anyway.
There’s nothing wrong with asking your boyfriend to keep quiet about the situation. Your ex friend stepping in to validate your boyfriends decisions and emotions is a red flag. It’s nice she validated you at first but her later actions are odd.
Your boyfriend is undermining you.
It’s giving weird vibes he’s open to her thoughts, and not yours. Also that when he’s frustrated/mad that he goes to her. Do they have history together? It doesn’t sound right.
To me he’s acting like he’s in his early 20s. He’s a grown man now, he should be able to understand that this situation should stay between the two of you.
Taking a break is just code for breaking up. Leave her alone for you own dignity. That said, this part is important I think.
She is mentioning that I don’t listen and she feels that she has to repeat herself a lot. Also that when she opens up to me there is no more trust bc of the way I reacted. She mentioned that I change the subject to me and start self pitty. But in my mind I was giving her my experience w stress.
Now it's possible that you had perfect responses and she is just a crazy bitch. But as your partner (at the time) she told you how she felt and that should matter. Your intention is fine and all, but how other people see your actions and word is just as important.
It doesn't matter that you meant well if every time she tell you her issues she fell like you don't care. And if she have to repeat herself multiple time, then there isn't any good intention behind it, you just forget about what she is telling you, which mean you don't care. Yes of course we can forget small things, but if it's something regular with you, that behavior will repeat itself in your next relationship and most likely will end up with the same result.
You got some good feedback on where you can improve to keep your future relationship more healhty.
I got the understanding the husband did not tell the wife about his shitty day or his headache
I used to do it every Friday. Work was an hour from home. Difference is that I never told her in so many words I was doing that.
Hahah! So true. I do before I travel. Maybe it wasn’t, it was just something I noticed out of the norm before he left.
Start with being explicit and intentional with your communication. Instead of laughing things off and changing the subject you need to tell him: hubby, I’m not against this idea but I definitely want to explore us more before we add anyone else. If or when I change my mind, I will let you know.
There!
And then I would give him a lecture about not pimping you out ever again.
She had NO PROBLEM giving a guy a number, then cheating on you.
I say YOU SHOULD HAVE NO PROBLEM TALKING TO HER EVER AGAIN.
Block her/her family everywhere. GO NO CONTACT.
They enable her bad behavior while making you sound like the bad guy. THESE PPL ARE NUTS.
YOU DODGED A BULLET……as long as you stay AWAY FROM HER PERMANENTLY.