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Date: November 2, 2022
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Yeah I'm trying to give it time to see if it'll improve. I just don't want to be a year in and it's the same or worse and then I'm fantasizing about old flames and how great sex was with them instead of my current gf.
Dump him.
This man is not going to support you through difficult times please understand that. That leads to depression, low self esteem and a feeling of disparity in your relationship. Did it, done it, bought the t shirt, bought the many many many sessions of counselling to recover from how awful the 13 years I was with this man. I had to explain every penny to him or lie. You want kids with this? What if you take post natal depression (I did and he two timed me when our son was 6 months old) he told me during this time that all I did was sit on my fat arse all day. These men are awful and you are better off walking away.
You guys are SO far apart in expectations, I don’t know where you go from here. I agree that 24 is very young to be making that decision. But if I were your GF and I hear “mid 30s” I’d be out. If I were in her shoes I wouldn’t be pushing for marriage NOW, but I’d want to know in the next year or two if you are committed for the long haul, or Id be worrying about wasting my time.
I have PCOS, and I remember very well the fear she has. I’d been on BC for years, so I had no idea what would happen if I went off. But I figured it might take a while to get pregnant, and I had to emotionally plan for the worst. I knew I wanted kids, so I’d go through any steps necessary. But I knew it could all take a LONG time. Say 2+ years at least of trying before talking to a doctor. If things don’t work out, another year or so of testing and exploring possibilities before maybe doing IVF. Who knows how long we’d try IVF, but it has less than a 50% success rate for women over 35, then grieve if that doesn’t work, try adoption, that takes a while to make happen…. So factoring all that, if I want kids by say 40, I should probably start trying by 32-33. (That was my math- your gf apparently thinks 30). Say it takes 4 years minimum from meeting someone to deciding they are the one and being ready to make babies, that means I need to meet or be with the right guy by 28 or so. So if I’m with someone at 27-28 and we’d been dating for 5+ years and they weren’t ready to commit, I’d probably cut my losses so I’d have time to meet someone else.
It sounds like your husband raped your sister who was unable to consent.
It actually doesn’t sound like him or his GF have issues with that, he just wants her to feel comfortable and safe knowing she can say no and not feel about it? They actually sound relatively happy and healthy. I feel like you are reaching here. You’ve made a lot of assumptions about how both parties feel and OP made no mention of a desire on either side to break up.
casual relationship
fwb is not a “casual relationship”
Plus when you get older, it's harder to judge people's ages. Teenagers and college aged people just look like babies
Nothing to do with ADHD. We're not all self absorbed jerks, thank you.