You can't put the cat back in the bag. You've already slept together. It seems pointless. You guys are already gonna get married, already living together, already slept together…. Seems dumb to me. Sorry.
I hope you're doing well. I wanted to express a few thoughts that have been on my mind lately. Please don't feel like you need to respond to anything – I just wanted to share my perspective.
You mentioned that you don't think you're ready for a close connection with someone, but I've heard you express a desire for a boyfriend and a family. To have those things, it's important to open up to someone and let them in. Maybe that person isn't me, and I understand if that's the case, I'm no catch as they say. But it's important to find someone to share your life with. Find someone that will make you happy and let them see you!
I also noticed that you often talk about the issues you're having with your family, and I understand how heavy that burden can be. But you don't have to carry it alone. If you let someone in, they can be there for you and support you.
All I want is for you to be happy. If that's not with me, then I'm happy as long as you're happy. I've enjoyed getting to know you over the last few weeks, and seeing you happy would make me happy too.
I know I've made mistakes, but I hope you can find someone who you want to travel with and who makes you smile and laugh. You deserve all the happiness in the world, and I know you're a genuinely nice person, even if you try to put up a tough front.
I do have a therapist, I was more interested in seeing if others had a similar experience to mine and could share their stores. But thanks for your resources!
She's likely also jealous. The fact that you can earn the same amount as her while also having way more free time to pursue your personal interests kinda sucks for her. It's either she's in a less lucrative industry or because she's a woman or both. Gender pay disparity is def still a thing, more so in some industries than others.
And having concerns about future money and savings is reasonable. You say you live comfortably regarding rent and bills. Does that include putting away a good amount for retirement? For purchasing a house? Emergencies? Kids?
Tbh it sounds like you two aren't compatible in the long term. You'll resent her if you cave and work more, and she'll resent you if she feels like she's having to work harder for the money and/or that y'all will have less in the future.
That could work as well, would be so much better than seeing him. I honestly thought we'd be building our life together and I'm so heartbroken and now with a child in the mix, he's not just hurting me but our son as well and that upsets me more than anything else
Break up with him, immediately, just in case he turns out to be a really awful person! Now, after you do that, get to work on yourself, and figure out it is that you don't believe that you deserve SOOOO much better than this guy; regardless of any reason you can come up with why you are attracted to him, believe me: he is NOT worth even half of that. But you are. I realize that you are young and this is all new; believe me, I have known plenty of guys like this; he will never, ever, ever not blame you for……everything! It will always be you who are the problem, and he will never, ever be faithful. Ever. There is nothing that you have done wrong; he showed you who he is, now believe him. Please. I wish you all the best.
Do not lend someone you’ve only known for 3 months money. It’s his house and his responsibility.
You can't put the cat back in the bag. You've already slept together. It seems pointless. You guys are already gonna get married, already living together, already slept together…. Seems dumb to me. Sorry.
Hi,
I hope you're doing well. I wanted to express a few thoughts that have been on my mind lately. Please don't feel like you need to respond to anything – I just wanted to share my perspective.
You mentioned that you don't think you're ready for a close connection with someone, but I've heard you express a desire for a boyfriend and a family. To have those things, it's important to open up to someone and let them in. Maybe that person isn't me, and I understand if that's the case, I'm no catch as they say. But it's important to find someone to share your life with. Find someone that will make you happy and let them see you!
I also noticed that you often talk about the issues you're having with your family, and I understand how heavy that burden can be. But you don't have to carry it alone. If you let someone in, they can be there for you and support you.
All I want is for you to be happy. If that's not with me, then I'm happy as long as you're happy. I've enjoyed getting to know you over the last few weeks, and seeing you happy would make me happy too.
I know I've made mistakes, but I hope you can find someone who you want to travel with and who makes you smile and laugh. You deserve all the happiness in the world, and I know you're a genuinely nice person, even if you try to put up a tough front.
I'm here if you ever need to talk!
Take care, and best of luck in the future.
I do have a therapist, I was more interested in seeing if others had a similar experience to mine and could share their stores. But thanks for your resources!
Take my award. Yes.
She's likely also jealous. The fact that you can earn the same amount as her while also having way more free time to pursue your personal interests kinda sucks for her. It's either she's in a less lucrative industry or because she's a woman or both. Gender pay disparity is def still a thing, more so in some industries than others.
And having concerns about future money and savings is reasonable. You say you live comfortably regarding rent and bills. Does that include putting away a good amount for retirement? For purchasing a house? Emergencies? Kids?
Tbh it sounds like you two aren't compatible in the long term. You'll resent her if you cave and work more, and she'll resent you if she feels like she's having to work harder for the money and/or that y'all will have less in the future.
That could work as well, would be so much better than seeing him. I honestly thought we'd be building our life together and I'm so heartbroken and now with a child in the mix, he's not just hurting me but our son as well and that upsets me more than anything else
Break up with him, immediately, just in case he turns out to be a really awful person! Now, after you do that, get to work on yourself, and figure out it is that you don't believe that you deserve SOOOO much better than this guy; regardless of any reason you can come up with why you are attracted to him, believe me: he is NOT worth even half of that. But you are. I realize that you are young and this is all new; believe me, I have known plenty of guys like this; he will never, ever, ever not blame you for……everything! It will always be you who are the problem, and he will never, ever be faithful. Ever. There is nothing that you have done wrong; he showed you who he is, now believe him. Please. I wish you all the best.