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Date: March 26, 2023
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I understand you worry about that, but believe me they will be fine.
I wish my parents just divorced when I was a kid. They decided to stay together for the kids. Growing up I had no idea my parents relationship wasn't good, so my example of an adult relationship was… Loveless.
All my first serious relationships sadly where with abusive people because I had trouble telling the early signs of mental abuse. I didn't realize the way these men talked to me was bad because I never had seen as a kid how someone that loves you treats you. I thought the stuff you see on TV was like an unrealistic romantic dream. I eventually took therapy at 29 that finally made me realise all of this, I had no idea my “bad luck” came down to my upbringing, I never realized it untill therapy.
-When you're in a situation where a potential partner, an employer, a group or society will most likely ostracize you or reject you for something you have absolutely no control over
Conflating these is disingenuous. An employer should not reject you because of your gender. A potential partner should reject you if you're not of their preferred gender. Lying to your partner saying you're a woman when you're actually a man would be wrong, despite the fact that you have no control over your gender. People deserve to decide if they're comfortable dating someone who is 19 if that is too young for them.
Your example is also disingenuous. You invent this whole fairy tale then gloss entirely over the moment of lying by calling it “going along.” OP's girlfriend didn't “go along,” she explicitly and directly lied multiple times about her age. This is like someone being white and claiming that they have a black parent but just look white because they suspect that their non-white partner wouldn't date a white person. Does that feel acceptable to you?
He has some really problematic friends. I don't find it appropriate that you were chasing another man at your wedding night, but you were likely tipsy and didn't realize it could be seen as flirty behavior.
What i find most problematic is your husband asking a man who slept with his ex to be his groomsman, and then talking shit about you with a female friend at your wedding. He's not a man who chooses his friends wisely.
I don't see your behavior as completely innocent, but he left you on your wedding night rather than talking it out and explaining how it made him feel. You two aren't ready for marriage.
Just leave. It’s not worth fighting to only remain in second place. You deserve much better.
Not to mention the absolute lunacy to be pining away for someone that long. I think they call that limerence.
Yo i don't know if youre missing the point here or what. But “not knowing what I want” is like dilemma you should have when youre dating not planning a wedding with someone. Not being sure at THIS stage is the same as saying you don't want someone.
If you are at all truthful with your fiancee your engagement is likely over. You can choose what you want but by questioning this hard… at this point… you should call it off regardless of Clark or whoever.
You’ve written a lot about your boyfriend’s preferences, and about what you’re okay with. But what do you actually want? If you could choose, would you prefer a partner who has similar spiritual beliefs to your own?
You say this only just became an issue but you’ve literally only been together for 3 months. You’re 22 years old. You know that 3 months is still a new relationship and it makes sense that a lot of these big questions haven’t been discussed much yet.
Do you really want this to be the rest of your life?
It will be the rest of your life if you remain married to him.
If there was one roach you saw, there are hundreds swarming through the house while you sleep. Running across the kitchen counters. Under the bag of bread or potatoes, crawling across the cleaned dishes in the cabinets.
And where there are roaches, there are most likely mice or rats. It’s only a matter of time before the rodent shit starts showing up.