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Date: October 10, 2022
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Good luck
Binge eating is a disease, like alcoholism. It is not your fault. If he has the tendency, it is just the way his brain copes. I have been dealing with for probably 36 years. Sometimes I get under control, but I know a binge will happen. Also if he does pot, it makes it worse. Like I have gone through phases of smoking weed because it allows me to eat more and food just feels so good. But do not blame yourself or your journey. His brain just likes all chemicals food pleasure produces.
It's some people's kink to watch. No judgement. But why would a brothel provide that service to your husband for free?
At your age (as someone who got there recently himself) people just don’t have the patience for the damsel in distress thing anymore.
I understand your problem was real and it wasn’t realistic for him to lean on you- but from his perspective it was an equally frustrating situation that you were forcing him to resolve alone.
He can stand to have sympathy for when you don’t feel well but I do think you need to have sympathy for the difficult situation (in this example anyway) that your abandonment leaves him in, even if you can’t control it.
I hope the nuance here makes sense. I don’t think either of you are bad people. I think you both may be carrying expectations from earlier relationships that doing fit as well when you’re a little older.
are you telling me…asking your spouse how they met their new friend is toxic?
And then she can’t get the information from him so she’s gonna have her sister get involved now to try and figure out information ?!?!?
after he was super defensive, secretive, and got angry at op over simple harmless questions
Leave the damn guy alone he’s not doing anything wrong for having a friend
then there shouldn't be a problem with him answering basic questions
let’s be honest here …. OP isn’t gonna tell us 100 percent of what she has done or how easy going the convo is
this is about what she tells us not what she doesn't, so stop assuming random things
If she is still in pain she needs to be an adult and say something, go see a doctor and therapist. Neglecting her family for a year to sleep and watch tiktoks is bullshit and to get mad at OP when he asks her to be helpful is also bullshit. Hes not asking for alot hes asking for bare minimum and she doesnt want that nor does she seem to want to get better, she seems to enjoy her new lazy lifestyle
Oh I am so incredibly sorry for your loss, I can't imagine how difficult that must have been for you. Linda sounds like a really wonderful person and I'm so glad you had her to help you through depression, it is a cruel condition and it's so hard watching it affect the person you love. I hope you are managing okay now alongside your grief.
I will let you know if things work out, thank you so much for the advice. I feel fortunate to have a good support system I can lean on through this
*When you had no power and were entirely reliant on him, he put you in danger. * Think about other instances in your life that this would be mirrored. Imagine if you get injured and can't work, or your income is significantly less than his but he still demands you pay 50/50 expenses which creates financial instability for you, or you get pregnant and rely on him to support you in nearly every aspect of life.
Travel is an excellent method of stress testing a relationship, especially before making any big life-changing commitments like buying a house, marriage, and having children. This guy failed the most basic test.
Being alone is 1000% better than wasting time with a man that abandoned you without access to shelter, without a phone, and in an unfamiliar environment.
*Once is too many times. *
1000% agree with this. OP is heading for some big trouble with the best of intentions.
I got slapped the one time I said that as I miff dove
Don't respond at all. As far as you're aware, she no longer exists.
It sounds like you want to stay up later and wake up earlier than him? Is he oversleeping or are you undersleeping?
Anyway, compromise is the only real answer unless you can afford another bedroom
Or you could give him the choice between two sit-down restaurants, both of which you'd be happy with. Y'know, like you'd do for a toddler.
Some of this may be his current frame of reference, and it may diminish as he encounters the wider world.
But some of it may just be how he approaches finances, and that may never change.
You two are pretty young, and as long as you aren't determined to get married right away, it's probably fine to stick around to see if you two converge over time.
In the meantime, lean into open and honest communication about finances. Let him know what you feel the way you do. Ask him about his viewpoint. But don't let yourself ever feel ashamed about your slightly modest upbringing.