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Room for online sex video chat Elza01
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Date: October 12, 2022
Agree, sounds like Dad has some old school ideas and is also trying to make sure he has some respect built up from the bf. Its annoying but kinda cool at the same time.
Omg quit playing games.
You’re experienced enough to have had a previous friends with benefits relationship quit screwing yourself over by playing games.
Communicate with him. Ask for what you want if he says no he says no and you can move on. But don’t do that to yourself, hanging around trying to be all fwb because you think that will make him keep you around longer.
You just have to do it. The dramatics you know to expect. There will be no breaking up with her without dramatics. Prepare to evict her or pay her to move ($ after she is out, obviously).
If the panic and vomiting get started call her family to support her, or call 911.
Also stop caring what her ridiculous parents think about her and tour dog.
Yeah I have to do everything in my power to show her that I am serious, even if it means risking her not coming back and quitting anyway..
Please relocate or start lining up a new job. Men at my age (27) do NOT date 19 yo’s unless no one around our age will date them. They are fuck ups and rely on naive young girls to manipulate bc the girls our age know they are red flags and abusive.
This guy is using you and manipulating you and is NOT ready for a relationship. HE is a grown ass fucking man and can handle his own shit. He is NOT your responsibility. Hell, if you are in an okay position to quit, please do so you can nope out of this ASAP.
If he refuses to let you go, do not HESITATE to say you will call the coos for harassment. Put your foot down and stop letting this guy use you like a doormat. Its fucking embarrassing he’s using a teenagers car at his age. Like others have said, date people your age and have fun, this guy isn’t providing even the bare minimum to this relationship.
Honestly id also suggest therapy because this relationship has been so toxic and you don’t seem to have a strong foundation with setting boundaries with people and have lower than average expectations in what you need in a relationship.
That's fine, however it's obviously important to him especially if they are all in frequent contact together, it could appear that it was something that was trying to be hidden. She also asked for details of his sexual past but then omitted this part of hers? If it isn't a big deal to her, then why omit?
show me where op said she was hounding her husband for information? where is op's toxicity?
If this situation was flipped every girl on the planet would say he’s toxic but once a man does it … it’s absolutely not toxic
umm no, they wouldn't. people would have the same reaction.
So your ex is from when you were 16?
You are on the right track, OP…..but I wonder if you know why.
The single greatest damage that porn does is to instill unrealistic parameters for how a typical Human Being expresses themselves Sexually, including Behaviors, Emotions, Cognitions and Beliefs. Many of these bits are absorbed almost subliminally and do not express themselves until you review your comportment in Hind-sight. Often, by then, the damage is done.
Oddly, its not as though your partner will suddenly start demanding that you perform, or submit to, some aberrant activity….though that Has been known to happen. Rather, an individual begins to frame emotional (see: affirmations) and intellectual (see: validations) feedback to their partner in inordinate and variant ways. Further, even if the Partner is grounded enough to observe and provide feedback on this comportment, a person taken with porn tends to discount the need to respond their partner's thoughts, needs and positions. Its a simple matter of backing the calendar down then, to where the partner feel sufficiently devalued in the relationship to bail.
Most people submit to the tyranny of porn because…honestly….
the Human experience is pretty mundane by comparison. The truth is
revealed when it is finally time for porn to deliver on its promise and it can't.
But by that time the producers have their money and could care less.
And your relationship is in the shitter.
Never heard that expression in my whole life haha
I do like seeing him, but for some reason I enjoy our short conversations at school more than if we were to hang out for hours outside. His awkward and introverted personality makes it really hard to keep a conversation because i feel like i’m always the one having to carry it. Thank you for the advice though!
Everyone can have their own opinions but I would never willingly go out with a guy who asked me to split on the first date. People can make assumptions all they want, but they have no idea what goes into me getting ready for said date or the cost involved.
Guys can have a $20 haircut, a shower, throw on some clothes in 5 minutes & be out the door.
I have to pay for make up, hair products, time spent getting ready, etc. If you want to factor in the cost to maintain my appearance my dates love so much as well go for it.
I'm already spending money to get ready for said date plus hours of my time in preparation. You can't/won't cover my $30 brunch? We're just simply not compatible.
I've never even had a guy expect or ask me to split.
She’s a Gold digger if that wasn’t obvious
Yeah! We’re not dating. A lot of our friends think he’s secretly in love with me and I’ve confronted him about this topic before. He swears up and down he doesn’t have feelings at all but it kinda gave the “haha no… unless?” vibes at one point. I’m just trying to take him at his word because he does act the same way with everyone else, it’s just a little extra bad with me because I’m his “best friend” so there’s more pressure on me to measure up to what he expects a best friend to do I guess..?
Don’t ever go back OP, she doesn’t care about you only herself
The long distance wouldn't help woth this either. Leave. 7 months is a long time and by then you should at least have started this process. Just because he needs time, doesn't mean you need to give it to him. If it's starting ti eat at you, move on.
If you think she will be exclusive in practice anyway, you can probably manage without the commitment.
Invite her SO too, apparently her SO is also a rock!
You need to give it some time man. And start talking.
Having a child is one of the biggest transitions in your life and naturally in your relationship too. All parents go through some degree of this when they have their first kid as they have to learn to cooperate under whole new circumstances.
Communicate with her. Allow yourself to be mad if need be. But lay in the bed you made and put in the work. It’s much better for the kid if you are together, and the time during the pregnancy and while the child is an infant is NOT representative of the relationship you will have later. Please remember this.
But definitely she's allowed to interpret that as he's hiding something, when she has been as open one can expect.
Consent should not be used as an excuse to obfuscate. For all she knows he's hiding something nasty
She doesn’t love him. She’s fine with her behaviour.
She probably isn’t capable of love right now. Maybe ever.
He doesn't really care for you, only himself. He has done the bare minimum and not stepped up. Don't step up for him!
If you are financially independent please don’t keep setting yourself on fire for his warmth it’s not healthy for you mentally.
If you are financially independent please don’t keep setting yourself on fire for his warmth it’s not healthy for you mentally.
You sound exhausting. You have no claim to this property. He gave it away to assuage his guilt over betraying his then wife. She isn't stealing anything from you, you're trying to steal something that's hers. Let it go.
I agree with you on that. Personally I would still send the letter and leave it at that. But it's ultimately your choice and there truly isn't a wrong choice.
That's what my mom's brother (my eldest uncle) told me when it came time to “pull the plug”. He said no matter what me and my sister decided, it was the right choice.
The most annoying thing she does, imo, was pronounce depression wrong. Everything else is bad, but that's just unforgivable.
Whatever you say Abuser
If the baby is the rapists?
F that sh*t. This isn't about differing boundaries: he called her filthy, which heavily implies that he thinks they were being sexual and that's seriously messed up. Husband obviously wants to – or already has – bone his own sister and is projecting, or is severely damaged by porn.
I'd absolutely refuse to apologize if I were OP, and I'd definitely be prepared to die on that hill
He picked a fight with you, got angry at you for being upset, cursed at you, and stormed out.
He’s had similar fits in the past.
It “set him off” when you cried, which translates to “you made me lose my temper.”
He says he “doesn’t realize what he’s saying” which translates to “has no intention of controlling himself.”
OP, I hate to tell you this but your boyfriend is an abuser. He is going to escalate. Of course abusers are wonderful and loving and perfect when they aren’t abusing you. If they started off swearing and throwing stuff all the time, they’d never reel us in. Please, please, please listen to your gut and walk away before this gets worse. If you aren’t ready to listen and leave, at least take this advice: don’t get pregnant.
Although it may be common, it is not ok. Your husband is coercing, if not forcing, you into sex and that is a form of assault. You deserve to have your boundaries respected.
In the immediate short term: do you have another bed in the house that you can sleep in? Could you stay with family or friends for a night or two? When you're feeling emotionally unwell, a lack of sleep will only make everything worse and if your bed is feeling unsafe you are going to struggle to look after yourself and see what path forward to take.
Lots of people in this subreddit will immediately tell you to leave him and not look back. Although I do think that you will be better off in life without this man, while you're feeling alone and unwell don't stress yourself out about making rash decisions. Do go ahead and seek therapy. Do speak to your friends and loved ones about how you're feeling. Do learn to recognise the love and respect that you deserve, and then address whether your partner will ever be able to give you that.
I really hope that you find a positive route forward, sending love to you xx
Just be normal and act like a friend?
Blantantly ignore her.
Literally she’s not worth ur time
Don’t reply
Oh for sure. I wasn't like “f that emotional cheating b”… I was actually curious why he stayed with her when she was obviously already over him (probably becsuse of mentioned issues). OP is a delusional idiot.
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So i was in my bedroom and i was talking to my ''Ex-Stepfather?'' (Guy my mom was engaged to a few years ago, i never looked at him as a father figure or anything though) and he had let me know that his son wanted to apologize to me for what he did, and i first i unironically burst out laughing for a little while because it was so ridiculous, then i got more and more angry, and i yelled something violent into the phone and hung up, and i guess my girl heard that and came into my room and she saw that i was visibly angry or upset or whatever and she sat down and wanted to talk to me about it. I do not like to open up to people about my feelings and things like that, its just not how i like to process my emotions or whatever. But she kept saying its okay and all that and i just started to cry for maybe like a minute, and i saw on her like a look of like ''What the fuck'' when i was crying, kind of like she was repulsed by me crying. I was able to stop and i just said its fine until she left me alone.
That was 4 days ago and since she's been very weird about me, like she was cooking a few hours after the whole thing happened and she was at the stove, i came and hugged her from behind and was going in for a kiss on her cheek and she kinda moved away from it, she's been all short responses and like all those kinds of things. She's been acting kind of cold to me since.
sorry if this was a big ramble i just feel super weird about the whole thing. We've been together for 2 years btw it said the length of the relationship had to be in the post.
Sorry this guy sucks, there is no other interpretation. He ignored your birthday deliberately.
It is cheating emotionally cheating.
I think I am not going to interfere but I will let her know I noticed it.
Haha that’s not what woke means at all. That’s what the right wants people to think woke means. This exchange is a classic example of the effectiveness of propaganda.
Easier said than done when more than 1/2 the time I want to off myself
Why not just give her easy access to all your devices?
That way she knows you have nothing to hide and you trust her and she is being irrational.
If you aren't willing to do that then the question is – what don't you want her to see?
What if they had been drinking on the couch together and ignored you until you said something, then they said “what’s up?” then went back to talking?
What if instead of a lady, it was some guy friend and they did that to you?
You realize that’s all fair game now, right?
Apologize. To both of them. Next time appreciate walking home to two ladies on your couch, that both seem interested in talking to you?
I swear some of the people who come here for “relationship advice” are more dense than lead!!
We separated for 9 months while he was in the program. After the program we started off slow, so I could see if things were different or if changes were made. I saw what I thought was true change, as well as his family and my family. The things he said the way he acted, completely different. I eventually had no reservations or doubts. After a year went by, we wanted to start a family. Through the pregnancy things were good, again, I didn't see any red flags. It was once she was born that it became an issue again.
I know therapy is much needed on my part. It's helpful to know that I'm not being controlling about it and that I'm not asking for a lot.
It may not be the worst idea to leave the date as it is. See if a.) he flakes or b.) he shows up and the date is great and he really is just a shit texted but not a shit person. Of course c.) is that he shows up and isn't much better at communicating in person, either. That's dating for you though. Always a gamble.
If he cancels this time or you don't hear from him day of, I'd let it go. At that rate, he's just not into you enough.
Having independence in a relationship is healthy, imo. If he can’t understand why you do this, that’s a him problem. Hubby and I moved a year and a half ago and I’m 3.5 hour drive away from friends. Once in a while I take weekends to go visit my friends and he stays home.
I remember at the start of our relationship when I would ask a friend if they want to go out for dinner they’d say “is he coming too?” And I was like “…no, why would he come? You’re my friend, not his. And we’re not attached at the hip.”
I hope your boyfriend can understand the independence is for your mental health. And I hope you keep doing it for yourself!
How about taking a break from this relationship? Your needs aren't being met. he needs to get his act together before he can be in a respectful relationship with anyone. Being in limbo, not knowing where you stand with him has to be extremely stressful for you. Sending you peaceful vibes.
You're projecting your own experience unto this post. When was the last time I “helped her with the house chores and kids?!” How about every single day! I have always done my fair share of chores and childcare to the point of sometimes doing quite a bit more than she does. I have also made an effort many times to make sure she feels loved. My post really was about sex. A man can do all the house chores in the world and that won't necessarily make his wife want to jump on top of him.
He needs to stop jerking off completely. He's likely desensitized himself to regular sex because a hand squeezes a LOT harder than a vagina. Also, he should have his prostate checked and try medication before any procedure. He could have a medical issue.
Do not have sex with someone who doesn't respect you and your body!