I think most of us reading this can question how can his diagnosis be the final straw? Narcissism isn’t something you hide in your daily life. It’s part of your personality and if he had it for years to where you have to leave your kids…there would have been signs every day to week that he shouldn’t be around your kids.
Furthermore, OPs simple(as in child like) and vague response in the comments makes this post even more suspicious of being fake.
The talk about sex thing is not the deal breaker here. Girls talk to each other and maybe what she said was true or maybe not. The cheating bit is the problem. She did it then. She has probably done it again since.
For hpv you can take a blood test or swab. It’s best to do swab when you see sores the results would be better since some blood test do give false negatives. Nonetheless, men and woman can take blood test and swabs it’s also best to do it within a few days especially with symptoms
You are in different stages of life and may just not be in a position to be in a relationship right now. Don’t let your ruin your education. It may be a better plan to be single right now
Unfortunately, if you're financially dependent on them, then there's not a lot you can do – as you already know. Without meaning it in a perjorative way, there's a sense in which you're playing the role of a child in your dependence on them, and that reinforces the way they want to act.
It's not a desirable situation, to say the least. So, what can you do?
There's no reason to believe I know what I'm talking about, but if I were asked for my advice now you've added that clarification, I'd go back to my first point:
The main goal has to be to detach your happiness from their opinions, whether right or wrong. What's the point, after all? You can't meaningfully win the argument when they have total control. And allowing them to affect you is essentially tying your mood to something outside of your control, like the temperature. It's not good for you. And since we can't control them, the only thing is to tweak your approach.
Therefore, you focus on yourself and what you believe to be right and try to get yourself to a state where you can your parents' opinions like you'd hear the mooing of a cow or the passing or a car or the erupting of a volcano. They're a sound in the natural world, and maybe even one that has an implication for how you need to act, but you're not going to take it personally. Does that make sense? You'll know when you get there, because making a post like this would make sense to you. It'd be like a post saying, “I told a duck I had a boyfriend and it quacked. Please help”. Or if they said “we've changed our mind! He's your boyfriend!”, that wouldn't matter to you either.
It's not easy to get there because all of us are often conditioned (and forgive me, this is often worse for women than men) to believe we have to care deeply about the opinions of those around us. And indeed, we need that to some extent to build a working society. But ideally we want to relax our grip on that just a bit so we still think about what makes a good society and how a good person should act, but we just back off tying ourselves to the whims of others. Even our parents.
A trick to help cultivate that, I'd suggest, involves reflecting on the timescales of human life. Reflect that a hundred years ago, the landscape was similar but your parents weren't born. In another hundred, they and you will be gone. Perspective and all they. On the scale of a planet and over centuries, does it really matter what they think? If you already know you're right? Even if they embarrass you today, can you prevent it? No. So simply accept it, like the quacking of a duck.
That's a route to much more contentment in life.
With that mentality, if you need to sneak around, sure. Do it. Obviously without malice, but just because it's the only option for now.
And always focus on how and when you can get your independence.
Bizarrely, you might find as you become independent from them, your relationship might improve. But that's something for the future.
I think most of us reading this can question how can his diagnosis be the final straw? Narcissism isn’t something you hide in your daily life. It’s part of your personality and if he had it for years to where you have to leave your kids…there would have been signs every day to week that he shouldn’t be around your kids.
Furthermore, OPs simple(as in child like) and vague response in the comments makes this post even more suspicious of being fake.
She made you a favour dumping you. Everyone can say no to sex.
that would make sense honestly, thank you for that
The talk about sex thing is not the deal breaker here. Girls talk to each other and maybe what she said was true or maybe not. The cheating bit is the problem. She did it then. She has probably done it again since.
For hpv you can take a blood test or swab. It’s best to do swab when you see sores the results would be better since some blood test do give false negatives. Nonetheless, men and woman can take blood test and swabs it’s also best to do it within a few days especially with symptoms
You are in different stages of life and may just not be in a position to be in a relationship right now. Don’t let your ruin your education. It may be a better plan to be single right now
Ah, I see. That does complicate things.
Unfortunately, if you're financially dependent on them, then there's not a lot you can do – as you already know. Without meaning it in a perjorative way, there's a sense in which you're playing the role of a child in your dependence on them, and that reinforces the way they want to act.
It's not a desirable situation, to say the least. So, what can you do?
There's no reason to believe I know what I'm talking about, but if I were asked for my advice now you've added that clarification, I'd go back to my first point:
The main goal has to be to detach your happiness from their opinions, whether right or wrong. What's the point, after all? You can't meaningfully win the argument when they have total control. And allowing them to affect you is essentially tying your mood to something outside of your control, like the temperature. It's not good for you. And since we can't control them, the only thing is to tweak your approach.
Therefore, you focus on yourself and what you believe to be right and try to get yourself to a state where you can your parents' opinions like you'd hear the mooing of a cow or the passing or a car or the erupting of a volcano. They're a sound in the natural world, and maybe even one that has an implication for how you need to act, but you're not going to take it personally. Does that make sense? You'll know when you get there, because making a post like this would make sense to you. It'd be like a post saying, “I told a duck I had a boyfriend and it quacked. Please help”. Or if they said “we've changed our mind! He's your boyfriend!”, that wouldn't matter to you either.
It's not easy to get there because all of us are often conditioned (and forgive me, this is often worse for women than men) to believe we have to care deeply about the opinions of those around us. And indeed, we need that to some extent to build a working society. But ideally we want to relax our grip on that just a bit so we still think about what makes a good society and how a good person should act, but we just back off tying ourselves to the whims of others. Even our parents.
A trick to help cultivate that, I'd suggest, involves reflecting on the timescales of human life. Reflect that a hundred years ago, the landscape was similar but your parents weren't born. In another hundred, they and you will be gone. Perspective and all they. On the scale of a planet and over centuries, does it really matter what they think? If you already know you're right? Even if they embarrass you today, can you prevent it? No. So simply accept it, like the quacking of a duck.
That's a route to much more contentment in life.
With that mentality, if you need to sneak around, sure. Do it. Obviously without malice, but just because it's the only option for now.
And always focus on how and when you can get your independence.
Bizarrely, you might find as you become independent from them, your relationship might improve. But that's something for the future.
I deserv noting but its ok
Have you got a paternity test?