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Date: November 23, 2022
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Because being ignorant isn’t a good thing? People love using annulment and gaslighting wrong on this sub and it’s so annoying.
I'm imagining myself dating a man like that and I just couldn't. No matter how nice and handsome. I would be so incredibly bored. I'm studying abroad, love travelling, obviously know how to take care of myself since i live alone in a different country for most of the year, i love learning new things, etc. and I could never date a man who is dependent on his parents and has no desire to ever leave his state/country. It just sounds incredibly boring to me and i would feel mentally very unstimulated in a relationship like that. Additionally when i date someone i need to not only respect them but look up to them, they need to have qualities that make me want to better myself. and being with someone like you describe would just make me feel like i'm stagnating. That is personal to me though, so as much as she would not make me happy i also would not make her happy. You need to determine for yourself what your standards are.
That isn't true. 6 years dating, so you started dating RIGHT after you met her? And you're telling us you “didn't know her”? I'm not buying it.
You don't sound like an emotionally mature enough individual to have a relationship.
If you need to exert this much over a girlfriend, like they're your property instead of your partner than you're the one in the wrong.
If the conversations are anything else other than platonic friendship this is a you issue.
First off, people separate and divorce all the time – life is not absolute as in “you made a vow so too bad, you’re locked in forever now”. Maybe there are some people out there who would rather light themselves on fire to keep someone else warm because they made a vow decades ago, but most people won’t and most people wouldn’t exactly consider that a standard to live up to.
Second, addiction can be treated just like depression can be treated – in theory. And yet, many times treatments fail. There is no failsafe way to treat either and both failure and remissions happen all the time.
Third, being selfish almost inadvertently happens at someone else’s expense. But is that really applicable here? Is it fair to put the wife’s well being entirely on OP? Isn’t she, as an adult, also responsible for her own well-being? What about OP’s well-being? Is it fair to say well if he leaves and she suffers, it’s his fault? I don’t think so.
Same with pitbulls.
Ours absolutely must be sandwiched in the middle for maximum snuggles. But we at least got him to go to bed in his own bed for the first part of the night and he only sneaks up at 5 am now.
You are in an abusive relationship and feel trapped in part because of the power imbalance. You’re saying that you stay in part because you need a place to sleep, but she isn’t even letting you do that. This is not worth it. Please contact a shelter and get our asap. You deserve better.
Family issues aren’t a justification for cheating. I suspect you are dissociating. It would be good for you to talk about your feelings with someone you trust. It’s up to you if you leave him or not, but some distance while you process your feelings would be a good thing.