I know. I agree. He shouldn’t be acting this casual and lackadaisical after a year which makes me think he’s still a young guy and his head isn’t in the game. He’s not ready to be a “boyfriend” and what all that requires or means.
If you’re having consensual sexual contact with anybody other than your partner and you’re not poly or in an open relationship, that’s cheating. Yes even if you’re the same sex.
You didn't come anywhere near close to “having” her. She is not a cookie (since you seem so obsessed with them) and the first one there gets it. You never had a date, you have no idea if she was remotely interested in you. You only came close to asking her out once and you have no idea how she would have responded.
I would agree. The headphones and a stocking of treats would have been enough, but now OP has set this standard going forward.
I’m going to say ESH because he should have communicated that the joy was out of his price range. She’s also wrong to act like $160 is not a big deal to someone who makes considerably less.
She could have bought him less and still would have been able to afford her joy. At $120k, you don’t need to be gifting SOs that much in gifts. It’s a little over the top. I get she’s excited, but she could have given the other gifts also for a birthday or anniversary.
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
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Just move on.. he doesn’t love you, he loves sleeping with you and he doesn’t want to lose that option. If he loved you, he wouldn’t make all of these poor excuses for why y’all can’t be together… I mean he can’t be with you because he “doesn’t want to date someone the same age”? Seriously??
Why waste anymore time on him? Break it off, heal, and find someone who cherishes you.
My sister did not do most of the work. She helped my dad a little last year. You are ignorant of indigenous protocol. It is our protocol to inform others of activities that may impact them. This includes inviting strangers to shared land that we all live on. I spoke to my sister and acknowledged that she broke protocol with this and apologized for it.
I think you misunderstood what I meant when I said I am comfortable with my dad being there. I meant for the ceremonial part only. Ceremonies in our culture are typically closed to non indigenous people unless they have been accepted into the community.
I didn’t participate last year because i was busy caring for an elderly family member. However I was involved in the planning. And how exactly have I done minimal this time around when we haven’t even started yet ?
I have every right to voice my reservations (pun intended) about a non indigenous stranger on indigenous land that I co steward and live on. Especially when the other 2/4 co-stewards are in agreement.
So I had a great talk with my sister about this whole situation and she has acknowledged that she has neglected our relationship and several others she values. She mentioned how much family has been on her mind this week too. She said she missed hanging out with me too and we have plans to hang out tomorrow. So that strain you’re talking about? Nah. No damage to our relationship. In fact, I predict it will become even stronger. Thanks for your concern though.
This dude is more than welcome to learn about maple syrup from other people off reserve where they won’t be involving indigenous culture or ceremony. As someone who works in cultural education, Non native people don’t need to be learning about all aspects of our culture. It’s frankly annoying that they are so interested. And most just want to take without any reciprocity. If we teach him about our culture what is he going to offer in return so that it isn’t merely extractive?
You don’t have a relationship. You are cohabiting with an abuser who refuses to seek help to make your life better.
Start looking for alternate house shares.
You cannot stay where you are and neither should you because all the time you stay with him you are enabling his cuntish behaviour by letting him get away with it. He has no right to abuse you like this.
When you were born he was older than you are now. He has been a full grown adult for your entire life and he still doesn’t have his shit together. He’s old enough to be your father, but you’re more mature than he is. Breaking up with him was not a mistake. There are a lot of great guys out there that don’t have so many flaws as this one.
Ignoring his many flaws, like the crypto losses, living in his mom’s basement, his cranky attitude, etc, at the end of the day he’s embarrassed to be dating you. He says he let go of his social media ego, but he won’t post you because he’s worried about what his random followers think. You can do better. Don’t look back.
A topic a woman will never be able to understand so of course there’s disagreement lol. A man who wants a paternity test is not wrong cause there’s no bigger insult than unknowingly raising another man’s kid. Women don’t care about this because they all think they are good women so you shouldn’t have anything to worry about. Get the test fellas. I’m not gonna drive myself crazy wondering about this cause my peace of mind is worth more than what a woman has to say about it lol.
I think this is the beautiful gift of you finding out before your relationship progressed further. This guy is trash and clearly dislikes and distrusts women. I’ll bet a considerable sum that he’s been spending a lot of time in the manosphere.
womanly duty ?? that is absolutely a societal expectation you're internalizing.
as for the porn … you don't have to be comfortable with your partner watching. maybe calmly have a conversation about it, it's up to the individuals in the relationship
This is incorrect. You still need to get yourself to a state of arousal for Viagra to have an effect. It just fixes the physical issues with maintaining erection. Occasionally you might get a residual unexpected hard-on but that's not the usual way it works.
I'm sorry to say it, but it sounds like this relationship may be over. If you are still living separately, and he can not remember any time in the last 4 years that you told him that fingers hurt? That is an issue. That is a long stretch of time to not understand the point and to not understand your sexual desires.
Many women don't like getting fingered. And/or many men don't understand that area needs time to warm up before someone just tries to start finger-banging it. You are not the only female with these concerns or who experiences pain.
The sudden change is also a red flag. For many guys if they suddenly change their way or habits, it is often because they are already cheating or over indulging in porn. Something has strayed his focus and he obviously does not care if this hurts you physically or emotionally if he just ignores your explanations, attempts at reconciliation, and just stands there stonefaced.
I would literally never text another woman in that way ever again. I know now that it was the worst thing I can ever do and just wish we could Back to being together.. I’ll do whatever it takes, whatever that may be…
Or you could be the bigger person and see how creepy this is
He did a edit , it’s actually the wife that has the friend (C) not him
I know. I agree. He shouldn’t be acting this casual and lackadaisical after a year which makes me think he’s still a young guy and his head isn’t in the game. He’s not ready to be a “boyfriend” and what all that requires or means.
If you’re having consensual sexual contact with anybody other than your partner and you’re not poly or in an open relationship, that’s cheating. Yes even if you’re the same sex.
You didn't come anywhere near close to “having” her. She is not a cookie (since you seem so obsessed with them) and the first one there gets it. You never had a date, you have no idea if she was remotely interested in you. You only came close to asking her out once and you have no idea how she would have responded.
I would agree. The headphones and a stocking of treats would have been enough, but now OP has set this standard going forward.
I’m going to say ESH because he should have communicated that the joy was out of his price range. She’s also wrong to act like $160 is not a big deal to someone who makes considerably less.
She could have bought him less and still would have been able to afford her joy. At $120k, you don’t need to be gifting SOs that much in gifts. It’s a little over the top. I get she’s excited, but she could have given the other gifts also for a birthday or anniversary.
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Ok next question. Does he like all of your posts too?
So should I keep it for myself?
It borders eugenics
Just move on.. he doesn’t love you, he loves sleeping with you and he doesn’t want to lose that option. If he loved you, he wouldn’t make all of these poor excuses for why y’all can’t be together… I mean he can’t be with you because he “doesn’t want to date someone the same age”? Seriously??
Why waste anymore time on him? Break it off, heal, and find someone who cherishes you.
He's not the one of you have to sacrifice a big part of your life
I vote yes. Or else she's going to conclude you're a lousy lover.
i think she was just saying that to explain that she really isnt sure how she actually looks in real life
My sister did not do most of the work. She helped my dad a little last year. You are ignorant of indigenous protocol. It is our protocol to inform others of activities that may impact them. This includes inviting strangers to shared land that we all live on. I spoke to my sister and acknowledged that she broke protocol with this and apologized for it.
I think you misunderstood what I meant when I said I am comfortable with my dad being there. I meant for the ceremonial part only. Ceremonies in our culture are typically closed to non indigenous people unless they have been accepted into the community.
I didn’t participate last year because i was busy caring for an elderly family member. However I was involved in the planning. And how exactly have I done minimal this time around when we haven’t even started yet ?
I have every right to voice my reservations (pun intended) about a non indigenous stranger on indigenous land that I co steward and live on. Especially when the other 2/4 co-stewards are in agreement.
So I had a great talk with my sister about this whole situation and she has acknowledged that she has neglected our relationship and several others she values. She mentioned how much family has been on her mind this week too. She said she missed hanging out with me too and we have plans to hang out tomorrow. So that strain you’re talking about? Nah. No damage to our relationship. In fact, I predict it will become even stronger. Thanks for your concern though.
This dude is more than welcome to learn about maple syrup from other people off reserve where they won’t be involving indigenous culture or ceremony. As someone who works in cultural education, Non native people don’t need to be learning about all aspects of our culture. It’s frankly annoying that they are so interested. And most just want to take without any reciprocity. If we teach him about our culture what is he going to offer in return so that it isn’t merely extractive?
we started dating when i was 18 i rounded up the 2 years lol a 19 and 22 isnt a big gap
And she is absolutely right. Your sister is toxic. You have no respect and you both need therapy.
You don’t have a relationship. You are cohabiting with an abuser who refuses to seek help to make your life better.
Start looking for alternate house shares.
You cannot stay where you are and neither should you because all the time you stay with him you are enabling his cuntish behaviour by letting him get away with it. He has no right to abuse you like this.
When you were born he was older than you are now. He has been a full grown adult for your entire life and he still doesn’t have his shit together. He’s old enough to be your father, but you’re more mature than he is. Breaking up with him was not a mistake. There are a lot of great guys out there that don’t have so many flaws as this one.
Ignoring his many flaws, like the crypto losses, living in his mom’s basement, his cranky attitude, etc, at the end of the day he’s embarrassed to be dating you. He says he let go of his social media ego, but he won’t post you because he’s worried about what his random followers think. You can do better. Don’t look back.
I think its natural to feel that way about past partners
Is it??
Maybe I'm the outlier, because I just don't care (unless an STD is involved).
Can I see a citation for that? It’s impossible to access the validity of that claim without evidence and it would be interesting to read.
A topic a woman will never be able to understand so of course there’s disagreement lol. A man who wants a paternity test is not wrong cause there’s no bigger insult than unknowingly raising another man’s kid. Women don’t care about this because they all think they are good women so you shouldn’t have anything to worry about. Get the test fellas. I’m not gonna drive myself crazy wondering about this cause my peace of mind is worth more than what a woman has to say about it lol.
I think this is the beautiful gift of you finding out before your relationship progressed further. This guy is trash and clearly dislikes and distrusts women. I’ll bet a considerable sum that he’s been spending a lot of time in the manosphere.
womanly duty ?? that is absolutely a societal expectation you're internalizing.
as for the porn … you don't have to be comfortable with your partner watching. maybe calmly have a conversation about it, it's up to the individuals in the relationship
This is incorrect. You still need to get yourself to a state of arousal for Viagra to have an effect. It just fixes the physical issues with maintaining erection. Occasionally you might get a residual unexpected hard-on but that's not the usual way it works.
I'm sorry to say it, but it sounds like this relationship may be over. If you are still living separately, and he can not remember any time in the last 4 years that you told him that fingers hurt? That is an issue. That is a long stretch of time to not understand the point and to not understand your sexual desires.
Many women don't like getting fingered. And/or many men don't understand that area needs time to warm up before someone just tries to start finger-banging it. You are not the only female with these concerns or who experiences pain.
The sudden change is also a red flag. For many guys if they suddenly change their way or habits, it is often because they are already cheating or over indulging in porn. Something has strayed his focus and he obviously does not care if this hurts you physically or emotionally if he just ignores your explanations, attempts at reconciliation, and just stands there stonefaced.
I would literally never text another woman in that way ever again. I know now that it was the worst thing I can ever do and just wish we could Back to being together.. I’ll do whatever it takes, whatever that may be…
Truthfully it is the past. This new guy has to have a life and so does your mother (who also has a past).
I wouldn't ever trust him with my children, but you can still have a relationship from a distance.