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  1. Sounds a lot like my relationship with my ex. Things only got worse and eventually i left for good. Best decision i ever made, because he gave zero indication that he would want to get better or improve at all. In fact, he laughed it off. Someone who abuses alcohol has to want to get sober, because they want to. Otherwise, it'll never work out. If he's contrite and wants to be better and puts the work in, any slip ups can be forgiven, and then you have to ask yourself “Do I want to put in the work to make this work? Can i deal with this for the rest of our lives, if he's trying his best most of the time?” But if he doesn't care, isn't considerate or apologetic about what he's put you through and doesn't plan on seeking help or quitting anytime soon–I'd say get the hell out of there. Don't waste your time. It's not worth all the hurt and disappointment and possible mental health issues that may arise because of his actions. Being scared of your spouse isn't something that should be normal. My ex wasn't abusive for years, until he was. And I'll tell you, it was the alcohol that rotted his brain and eventually made him violent. I truly believe that had he never gone down that road, he may not have ever done the things he did. And he's not the first– plenty of men (and women) who've become a slave to alcohol have changed completely from who they were and who they may have become. Tread carefully. And put yourself first. Would you want to bring kids into this marriage? If not, then why would you stay in it? These are questions i actually asked myself and it helped me to see clearly. Good luck to you and all the best.

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  3. Hey OP, I’m really sorry but this man does not love or respect you. You need to leave him, you have your whole life ahead of you and you do not deserve to be pressured into sex or treated like this. He is a borderline rapist and I’m worried if you stay and keep letting him push your boundaries that he will take it further next time.

    He’s also probably the one giving you the UTIs, most of the time I’ve had one it’s come from a good for nothing man that doesn’t clean himself.

    Please reach out to me via messages if you want to talk further I’m concerned about your safety.

  4. Omg the responses are filled with people who has no reading comprehension.

    OP is asking for advice on how to communicate her feelings to her roommate. She wasn't asking for an explanation on the roommates rights.

    You can wait til she gets back and have a sit down to go through your feelings specifically about how much better emotionally you've gotten and that you think you might want to move out after the lease is up (if you really determined you want to live alone)

    OR

    You can take the passive aggressive route with a “ahh I really got into a whole vibe while you were gone. Hope you don't kill it when you get back lol”

    I personally would take the first direct approach

  5. I think he would out of anger. I don't think he'd do it with the intention of hurting me or being controlling but we both share the same values of only wanting to get married once and it being for life. So out of anger I could see him cutting off access to the funding for a while. When I've gotten upset with him in the past he's always either said he thought I was awake or didn't realize he was touching those areas. But there's no way in particular last night that he didn't know or that he thought I was awake.

  6. He isn’t trying to prove himself or making you feel comfortable. He’s not talking to you because he can’t tell the truth. Instead he is blaming you and making himself out to be the victim. Classic cheater defense. Someone wanted to give heads up because he wasn’t going to. Now it’s time for you to start investigating on your own discreetly. He is in cover his tracks mode.

  7. Can I ask a question because I'm confused as fuck and just want to understand. In a comment, you say you're in your third trimester now. But 3 months ago, you posted that you were 6 weeks postpartum.

    Unless I'm mathing wrong, it's only possible you'd be 19 weeks, and that's stretching belief because I'm pretty sure that means you'd have gotten pregnant WHILE pregnant.

    I'm tired, so my brain isn't firing on all cylinders.

  8. I would think a partner wouldn’t be inordinately angry with me for not being as polite as they would like after I explained to them my physical condition.

  9. Hey sorry for the super late response but I found your advice super helpful 🙂 my best friend does this tactic as well. Thank you so much!!!

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