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ashly-matheo Public Chat Channel
Date: December 5, 2022
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WeekendPussy
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tell him before it's too late. This is not a small thing. If you hide it and he finds out. That will be hard.
You are asking if a man who pukes and shits all over himself and doesnt know it is a problem?
Having to ask is a problem.
I have just got to ask. The musician your long distance with, have you done your due diligence as a mother? I get that you think he’s all that and everything else and he may very well be God’s Gift but your a Mom. You don’t get to dive in and hope for the best and risk your kids. So, have you run a background check on him? Did you at least do that?
This guy knew you were married and had children. He had no problem starting a relationship with you. That alone should be throwing red flags up. Your a grown woman and how your marriage ended is on the two adults in it. But you don’t start a relationship during it thinking it’s all going to be sunshine and roses and drag your kids into it without making sure you’ve done everything possible to make it safe for your children. Too many do and wind up regretting it after their children have paid the price. I don’t care if the new guy is the love of your life your obligated as a parent to check him out. Especially since he was so willing to get involved with you while you were married. You owe that to your children.
Seconded. If he is knowingly doing something that hurts your feelings, he doesn’t care about you as he should. Whatever anyone else says, it is entirely possible and reasonable to ask that someone doesn’t engage with porn if it makes you uncomfortable.
It was normal, but he’s been telling me about them with very little notice, 1-2 weeks advance even though these are annual events. He’s also been working late, not crazy late but maybe 30-45 minutes late daily, long enough to bang a coworker or meet a girl in the city he works in at a hotel/her place. We share location but conveniently his phone doesn’t have good service in the city he works in. His name always says “No location found” and shows that it’s loading, even when we are in the same house. He is tech savvy, so I have never liked that my location is always visible but he is “not found,” like maybe he sabotaged it. He’s also been critical of me lately and poking fun at me even though he knows I don’t like “playful” insults, I really don’t fuck around with that, I think it’s immature bullshit and not lighthearted at all. I also found one of those calculator apps that hides shit several months ago, I called him on it and he immediately opened it and offered me to look at it. I think I told him to delete it. I might check and see if it’s still on his phone tonight. I’m stressed because I’m like in love with this guy. I keep looking up wedding venues and dreaming about having kids with him. I have never been this suspicious of someone cheating before, although I do watch out for it. I cheated once in the past, I drunkenly kissed someone else once while I was with my ex and I feel like this may be Karmic justice for that ? I have NEVER cheated don him though, there has been nothing throughout the course of our relationship that I’ve done that would remotely be considered close to cheating. To top it all off, I just sold my place to live with him at his house in a different city and I’m scared that i’ll be packing up my stuff and moving out already.
It is normal to have your own personal space. Even if you were married, it would still be normal, even necessary, really. Proper boundaries are absolutely necessary for any relationship to thrive.
This isn't a thing you should get all worked up over. I think a calm conversation, or maybe even a book recommendation, would be all it should take to give her the proper viewpoint.
I think you've done well so far.
I agree. Either OP is mentally ill or it's fake. She is also responding with the same exact sentences over and over again.
If this is real I hope this guy runs to safety because OP is a walking red flag
Thanks for the advice. This all makes sense.
OP said in comments she's half white half Cuban, family very well off financially