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cumshow [Multi Goal]
Date: October 28, 2022
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cumshow [Multi Goal]
Firstly… why are you blaming yourself? You were in a scenario where feelings were bound to pop up so I don't understand how this is all on you. You were just a kid. We all remember our first heartbreak. However, letting it affect your future after 3 years isn't healthy.
Secondly… do you need closure or is it something deeper, like abandonment issues? Most of the time you can close the book in your head but if you've been clinging on for 3 years now…. it's going to sound really weird when you reach out to her for contact and an explanation.
Ultimately you’re an adult and it’s your decision but I understand your mom’s concern. You are at very different stages of life at 22 and 30.
I’m 26 and I’m far different than my 22 year old self. I work, support myself completely and I’m financially independent. I also live on my own.
I’m assuming you’re still in college full-time and live at home/fully supported by your parents? Just ask yourself this if you are: why would someone like me be interested in someone like you? What grown, responsible adult wants someone who can’t support themselves? If you don’t understand now you will in the future when you’re like me.
Your mother is being heartless. I'm so sorry.
Don't make decisions around the idea you want to keep people like this in your life. Trust me, you're better off without anyone who loves so conditionally and so cruelly. It's going to hurt for a long time but it'll hurt more and longer if you give in to this kind of manipulation.
Lay it all our for everyone: he left you, he slept with a friend, and now he's suffering the consequences of his choices. But it's no longer your job to make anyone happy by setting yourself on fire.
It's going to cost you a lot of relationships, but why keep people who only like you for what you do for them?
hmm, what is your definition of cheating?
Stop spamming.
It seems like the spark was fading between you and your girlfriend before this new girl came into the picture, which is pretty normal for your age, because people change a lot in their late teens and early 20s. If your long-term relationship had been on really stong footing, I doubt the presence of this new girl could have introduced so much doubt.
I prefer advice from someone who doesn't use the word “theses”
There are a few things compounding how you feel here. They're all normal things that might happen to anyone, but when they stack up they feel overwhelming, and you can start to feel like your partner is intentionally hurting you.
I suggest you try and tackle each of these individually, because when they interact they can all make the others seem worse.
First, you're insecure about your weight, and you feel unattractive. That's all in your hands, nobody else can change how much you weigh, or how you feel about how much you weigh. You've got two choices, either decide you love your body how it is, or decide you to do something about it. There are heaps of good resources available to help you with that.
Two, you feel like he's not interested in sex right now. Have you talked to him about that? It doesn't sound like you have. You need to be able to talk to your partner about that. Maybe he's got some issues of his own going on that are impacting his sex drive. Maybe it's not about you. You won't know until you have a conversation about it.
Three, his porn habits. You need to decide if you're okay with you partner getting themselves off or not. Generally, no couple has identical sex drives, they're not always aroused at the same time, and people can do whatever they want with their own body. Men typically need visual stimuli to get off. Think hard about the aspect of this situation you're actually upset about, because he probably doesn't feel like he's doing anything wrong. If you're not happy about it, again, talk to him, tell him how you feel about it, ask his perspective, and try to agree on habits that you're both comfortable with.
Finally, your invasion of his privacy. You were going through his internet history, so thoroughly that you know exactly how many images he clicked on. Do you think this is a normal, healthy thing for you to be doing? What makes you feel like you need to do this, or that you're entitled to do this? Is he allowed any privacy? How would you feel if he did this to you?
In general, you need to learn to communicate with your partner if you hope to survive an adult relationship. You're going to encounter much more challenging situations than your partner browsing porn, if your instinct is to break up before you decide to talk about it, you're really going to struggle.
Time for a talk.
It is way, WAY too soon.
Never move in with someone if you can only count your time together in months and not years.
It’s not just that one time, he is reacting to that and all that came before.
Uncertainty is a cancer that grows and spreads and becomes overwhelming. Something as simple as having a seed of doubt planted can lead to an avalanche of uncertainty. Its an awful way tonlive and can cause people to doubt those they trust and love more than anything.
Yeah I see your point, its more the wording than anything.
So for example 'Johns a Train driver' 'and they laughed' could be considered mean.
But 'John drives trains' 'and they laughed' could be considered a comical.
Is that about right?