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Date: October 5, 2022
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You’re 31 years old… seriously. You’re wasting her time at this point.
“She even said they used poppers, or amyl nitrate when doing it one time. This is particularly dirty and kinky and cuts me up because I use poppers with her and thought it was our special thing every now and then.”
?You know poppers are really common in gay sex right? Like it's not even dirty or kinky, it's just part of the normal act of anal sex to loosen you up. It's so bizarre to treat this as if it was something special just between you two and not something a lot of people do.
You also keep pressuring her into doing sex acts that she clearly doesn't enjoy. She literally TOLD you that she was experimenting and didn't know how to say no to this other guy, and you're taking it as some kind of personal insult. What you should be doing is focusing on the sex you both can enjoy instead of bitterly trying to outdo some guy from her past.
She said he was planning to propose. This would be a record-scratch moment to that plan.
Explain this to your therapist and ask for a referral to a support group for the partners of those going through trauma counseling. Clearly the whole point of therapy is to discuss things you don't feel comfortable talking to your regulars about. Your wife is undermining your chances of a successful recovery with her incessant prying. But she may need to hear that from someone other than you. Good luck
Let him go & find some one better
I wouldn't because the fact of the matter is you have no proof that this is true, and even if it somehow was true, you maybe opening a wound that she hasn't healed from yet.
Just be patient with her and if there's something to tell, she'll tell you on her own terms.
No worries.
You cannot be afraid to reveal sides of yourself to your partner.
This is a part of relationships… you add layer of depths as you go.
Once you stop, your relationship plateaus and that is all it becomes.
As time goes on, you should be falling deeper in love, not out of it.
If it is meant to be, the two of you will work out a solution together.
Best of luck, take care!
I don’t know about this. I have never seen a successful relationship where one is poly and other one is monogamous. Sounds like you need to find someone who is more compatible to you relationship wise. Cause im telling you this feeling will likley never stop.
Gurl stop calling yourself crazy cuz you’re not. You have the right to have doubts You’re not acting upon your doubts but you need to communicate them clearly
Talk to him today about the chat you have seen on his phone Don’t wait because if he was cheating (hopefully not) after doing it he’d delete every trace of him.
Dating crazy is fun til it isn't
Agreed. She's a grown adult. It's a common trait for abusers to blame the victims.
Well you make me mad, it's your fault I'm angry, you should know better than to say that, or do that!
You are the reason i behaved that way. Always the same vibes.
They cannot take accountability for themselves because that would mean admitting to being the problem.
Abusers are narcissistic in nature, it's always someone else's fault!
OP is 3 months in and already under the illusion of having the ability to “fix her” this behavior will definitely escelate. I wouldn't want someone like this near me nor would i date them, much less marry and willingly choose to have kids with an abusive person.
OP is choosing this!