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come and play with me,control lush [111 tokens remaining]
Date: October 26, 2022
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You didn't do anything wrong. You work there and want to keep the tension as low as possible.
Your bf being angry that you are getting sexually harassed at work is also understandable. He doesn't want you to have to put up with it and wants you safe.
You say it's not bad enough “yet” that you feel the need to take action on it by going to your boss or HR. That doesn't mean it won't escalate the longer you let it go on unchecked, however.
You and your bf have to come to an agreement, or, yes, there is going to be tension over it.
??????
Wtf you should not let this slide. If this is your kid, you would want part of the responsibility, or the guilt will eat you up over time. Talk to her husband, force a dna test, and decide what’s best.
Neither of them would.. this is rural Ohio.. it’s weird here
I can give you an extensive detailed commemt on what a rape kit is like and you'll see why people don't wanna go through them and why it's often called feeling like a “secondary rape”
considering everyone here thinks he's going to be furious with me for waiting so long, do you think it's a real possibility he might try to get custody? does not telling him until now make me look that bad to a court?
You mean your ex boyfriend right?
Plus after 3 months, LOVE AND FUTURE ? Attachement issues anyone?
You just don’t sound that into her. I’d hate to see her end up with you if that’s the case
You just don’t sound that into her. I’d hate to see her end up with you if that’s the case
Is texting a “Plethora” of women considering cheating….? thinking?……? thinking?……? thinking?……YES!
you may have not been groomed but he is still a creep for dating a 19/20 year old when he was 32. you were in very different stages of your lives and he knocked you up is now treating you badly because you've physically changed after having his child. he is not a good guy no matter how many nights he rubbed your feet. get your finances in order, and prepare to split up. he is not a good husband.
This is an excellent answer. As a man who is in STEM and have been at the top of my class (undergrad + masters in electrical engineering, professional engineering license) I often get told “wow you are so smart, etc.”. My career hasn't been that long, about 5 years, but I'm in a top position at my company and often surprise people. For a long time my answer is that I am a huge proponent of the idea of multiple intelligences.
I'd also argue humility is a type of intelligence. One I did not always have.
Sometimes I am a complete fucking moron. Being nearly 30, I've realized my emotional intelligence has lacked. My girlfriend is 1000 times more emotionally intelligent than me and I tell her this often. And it's a wonderful thing – yes, I might be good at math, but she knows how to read people. She's empathetic and thoughtful and everyone around her loves her for it. She is constantly thinking of ways to reward her friends and family for being in her life.
I'd trade all my smarts in an instant for that. The best I have is to admire other people in this world who are intelligent in other areas, and know that my intelligence, while high, is narrow and that there's a huge world of people out there.
Just one bit of advice: take all the time you need to heal from this.
You did all the right things. Make sure to get yourself tested for STIs, as there may hav even other exposures.
Go no contact. There isn’t anything to discuss at this point.
Remember: his infidelity has nothing to do with you. It was his choice, and he can live with the consequences of your absence.
Be gentle with your heart, and give yourself some time to process it all.
That's crazy.
No, I personally think “mutual abuse” is bullshit. Abuse is only abuse if it is a long term pattern of behavior. People are allowed to be upset and make mistakes, even a few times. But once it becomes patterned behavior over a length of time, without change, it is abuse.
My family is abusive towards me. If I one day snap and scream at all of them and call them nasty names and tell them specific things I know will hurt their feelings, I am just acting in a way that is me trying to defend myself. Is it the right way to do that? No, but is it just as bad as them abusing me for my whole life? Absolutely not.
“hey i understand you just went through a breakup and those can be hard to deal with you shouldn’t be alone i just wanted to let you know that if you ever need someone i’m always here”
Yeah, that's why cutting ties is better after a breakup. You need people to support you and you need therapy to help you go through all those feelings. I'm not gonna lie, it's gonna take time to get a lot better, but you will see results in not wanting to end yourself in less time.
Hang in there OP. I was once in your shoes. I took 6 months to think about a reason to live, to keep fighting everyday. And i discovered that there is none. No reason to live other than that's the only thing we can be sure we'll experience. BUT the real trick is that there shouldn't be a need for a reason to keep fighting because life isn't supposed to be an eternal fight. But you've been feeling this way for so long that it seems that life is just a never ending fight. One day, you'll stop feeling like you are fighting just to get up in the morning and keep a normal face on.
To be honest she sounds really manipulative. She’s already commenting on your appearance, sexual performance and is already talking about how all men want her etc. she’s either a pampered, spoilt bitch or she’s trying to lower your confidence so she can start controlling you. I’d say beware.
seeing almost every person say seek legal action gave me so much support and closure. I wish I could tell everyone exactly who he is, ppl deserve to know, but I will let him start over new. I will always keep my money private in the future.
he will continue hurting others and animals untill someone decides its time to forces him to take responsibility and reports him to authorities
Pretty sure no one plans on divorce, but it still happens. You have choices after marriage too.
Oh are you an obgyn with this experience? Or what exactly makes you state this fact? Please enlighten me.
I’m sorry the people here are having no compassion for you. Clearly you suffered and feel regretful for your actions and how you may have hurt your long term ex. I’m sure this other new man love bombed you and was very manipulative. I’m sorry you had to go through that. I’m sorry your ex had to go through that too.
If you were willing to leave that relationship on impulse, it couldn’t have been as strong as a life partner relationship should be. I would try to move on for the both of you. Take some time alone to rebuild before putting yourself out there again. Leave your ex alone, tell him he deserves someone that wouldn’t do that.
I don't think 10k is a crazy amount of debt, it's the fact that it was hidden from me when I had explicitly asked before what debt he has. He came out to tell me this after 5 years because he felt so guilty, then I found out he's been continuing to waste money since then on copiously eating out and buying other stupid shit.
I thought we were building a life together and but he was working against us.
Just ask him out. You can't “make” him do anything.
I’m so sorry that OP has decided to break up with her. As you said, it’s really about the self-loathing and the wondering “what was wrong with me?” “Am I not marriage material??” “I am I not worth loving?” …etc…
This is not about her being in love with her ex. This is about her feeling defective, unlovable, a bad person… a self-loathing spiral.
I hope OP has some empathy here.. maybe watches the “Joe is getting married” scene..
It’s been right before and it stinks lol ultimately I do know that he loves me, but it doesn’t feel any more special than the love he holds for his friends if that makes sense. Sometimes they even get more out of him than I do emotionally.
You know who I think is hot? George Clooney. I’m also pretty turned on by Chris & Liam Hemsworth. And what I wouldn’t do for just ONE NIGHT with Idris Elba… (sigh. Just.one.night.)
You know who my husband looks like? Jerry Seinfeld. And because of the magic of love goggles, I am completely turned on by him all the time. I love the way he looks & (aside from Idris Elba) have pretty much zero desire to be with any other man.
Do you see what I’m saying here?
Fantasy is fantasy & real life is better because you get to choose a whole person – not just looks or whatever.
Just breathe, my friend. He’s with you because he digs YOU.
Mate, what are you DOING???
You barely know this woman, it's not your kid, you do NOT pay alimony or child maintenance!!! If she is concerned about her financial status, she needs to get a job.
I was a single mother. I worked, paid my own mortgage and bills and didn't ask anyone to pay for me. Please protect yourself from a potential gold digger, you sound very naive.
V sorry to hear this, but u can’t force him, I’d be happy to still be alive
My suggestion is if you have parents ask them for their advice but be discrete. If you encounter another outburst like this take the children out of the house and go for a ride, maybe stop and get some ice cream or something else to give your spouse some time to calm down. It could be time for your spouse to visit a psychiatrist and a psychologist to get this behavior under control. A prescription of benzodiazepines and bupropion might be recommended. This was what worked for me. Good luck.
Um reading your other post you married a woman only after six months. Sorry but you’re getting used. Does your wife even like you? Don’t lose your self worth.
Don't get married to a teenager would be my first piece of advice.
Don't get married to a teenager would be my first piece of advice.
I'm sorry. I'm not usually this blunt, but what the FUCK were you think bringing someone who is a total STRANGER into your home with your child sleeping in the other room? Holy crap. Do you have any common sense at all? I'm just completely gobsmacked that a parent would do something so foolhardy.
And, THEN to ask if you are overreacting when she pulls out a gigantic knife and “jokes” about you being careful refusing sex? You are an unbelievable moron. Jesus. I'm so angry for your kid.
Why are you more concerned about some other woman than the fact that your boyfriend is a deadbeat father who's never even met his son? How can you stomach being in this relationship?
Now, about this:
I’ll probably lose him no matter what since he seems to have no respect for either of us…
You're right. He doesn't respect you, he doesn't respect the other woman, and he doesn't respect his son. Your boyfriend isn't worthy of your love or respect. Unfortunately, his son and son's mother will have some kind of connection to him for at least the next 17 years. You're the lucky one here who can leave. Take advantage of the opportunity and dump his ass.
Don't confront her.
Confront him. He's the one who needs to put up boundaries with her.
I agree, You both used protection before so it does create a bigger time frame he could have caught it.
Also retesting for the both of you should be done. False positives and negatives are common.
He did that because your mutual friends are sending updates to you about him that you're then questioning him over. If he doesn't want to have these awkward conversations the easiest thing to do is block you and anyone who can inform you of his social media activity.
Be happy you are no longer in a relationship with a controlling cheater.
There are so many red flags, that you ignored.
If it was nearly any other hobby, I’d be saying that he’s being an idiot and very unsupportive.
But he’s right. For you it’s adrenaline, the thrill of the race, and the victory of completing it.
For him it’s an early start, with absolutely nothing to do apart from wait around for however many hours it takes to finish the race.
It is fucking boring. (He is wrong for calling it weird, and that is a separate conversation you need to have with him about why he feels the need to describe your hobby, one that you really enjoy like that)
So if you want him to be supportive, then you need to talk with him about the expectations you have, and what support you want him to provide.
Does he need to be there for the whole thing? Does he need to be there for the start? or just the finish?
My personal compromise would be that he arrives for the start with you, then he goes off and does something else (gets breakfast, goes and have a coffee, takes in whatever sights are in the area etc.) then comes back for the finish. You would need to tell him how long you are expecting to take, so that he can be there for you, but then he can do something other than wait around being bored.
Maybe you need to tell him what you need.
The girls who like to go out and party are going to shit all over you, but to hell with them. Hoes gonna hoe.
At this age, if she's not willing to settle down and commit, she's not worth your time. Go find an adult to date.
You have nothing to be guilty of. Stop apologizing for doing absolutely nothing wrong here. Clearly your sister is the golden child. Your ex cheated on you and ended up in a relationship that he probably resents because of it. She stole your bf and now her jealousy is spending its poison. Do not accept their BS. They are all wrong and not worth your time. I would say nobody deserves to be abused but a small part of me is glad he beat her ass for you (even if it wasn’t actually for you).
Look it doesn't really matter if they are cultural issues or not. You're not enjoying this relationship and it doesn't really sound like much of a relationship to me at all. It sounds like you're the housemaid with benefits…
OP, you need to leave this guy. Find yourself a partner who speaks the same love language as you, that wants to be around you, wants to do things with you and wants to share life togeather with you. Not someone who, for lack of a better term, make it sound like you're a nuisance.
You deserve better! You can get better! I know it might be scary ending things, but think about it this way. Things aren't going to change when a baby comes. You'll do all the work, make all the money and he'll be sitting on his arse, drinking better and watching TV while you'll be actually apart of the family, doing everything. I don't think that's a situation you want to be in is it?
It's always the massive age gap relationships lol.
I miss doing this with my wife. 20 yrs on ships and knees are shot. I walk as far as I can with her and turn back. Sometimes, she catches back up to me on her way back home…..lol
The both of you sound unhealthy. Telling us to eat rocks shows us who you are. So you want advice?
EAT HEALTHY AND GET FIT.
Don't get back together with her. She's needs professional help. Your relationship is toxic AF and will only get worse. You deserve to be happy.
Look up your mental health mental retardation commission. They usually have free or sliding scale therapy. Or local colleges.
His distraction was another woman. And she too filed harassment charges. I only learned that when the DA followed up with me saying he was arrested by a neighboring county.
His probation ends this month. I only hope he doesn’t come back.
He’s terrible, i promise. I hope you listen to your instincts and don’t wait to find out. He is COMPLETELY full of shit.
Too far is an understatement.
You need to file for divorce ASAP.
How do you even know he is staring at video game ass? Is he specifically focusing the camera on the character's asses?
Yeah we’re friends, known him for about a year now we have a friend group that we all get together and go to concerts and drink sesh etc and we ended up hooking up one night (id say beginning of March) and saw eachother 3 more times (apart from our friend group) I’ll sleep over and he did told me he liked me??