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This sexy demon elf is gonna suck the life outta you if you let me oc [Multi Goal]
Date: September 27, 2022
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So for you it’s the same because both things cause insecurity. Because he (potentially) makes her insecure by liking pictures of half naked women, it’s ok for her to post half naked pictures of herself since the only reason not to do it would be to spare his insecurities. Correct me if any of that is wrong.
I can see your logic, so thank you for explaining it. But I very strongly disagree.
To me, the point isn’t what makes who insecure. The point is “are you doing something inappropriate”. And in my opinion, looking at other women who post pictures of themselves half naked is not inappropriate. It’s no different than looking at women dressed half naked as you pass them in the street.
On the other hand, dressing half naked itself is inappropriate in a relationship to me. It’s an action you’re taking that goes way above where your partners’ eyes fall. Especially if, like in the situation you’ve described, you’re doing it intentionally to make your partner feel insecure.
That’s said, I don’t think it matters all that much. It just means certain people aren’t compatible with others. Me and you aren’t because of our different opinions on this just like OP and his gf aren’t. No one is wrong for having their preference in what they want their partner to be like
I don’t think this or real…but if it is here is what you should do: put on as much makeup as you can. I mean, ALL the makeup you have. Then put on a pair of your husbands shoes. The biggest ones he has. Finally, try and find a little red ball around your house, cut a little slit in it, and put it on your nose. Then go look in the mirror, and look at yourself for what you are: a fucking clown.
Your feelings are totally valid in this. If you trust him it’s probably bc he’s never given you a reason not to. I’m a person who thrives off physical affection, not necessarily from people I feel romantic feelings for but just in general. I could see how she could have totally platonically just needed some human touch in an emotional moment. But in your shoes it’d probably make me uncomfortable too. It’s a hard situation but I say if you really trust him, let him know this is one of your boundaries and that you would like for it to not happen again. I hope you get this worked out OP.
Lol so your a couple?
Trust your initial instinct of not wanting a relationship with him. He is manipulating and using you.
Hey. You didn't bring this upon yourself.
He put all of this on you. And he wrecked your contentment – again.
Fuck this guy. He should be miserable, not you. Take this poor “important” girl out for a drink before it all blows up. Team up with her over tequila, take revenge, and forget that loser.
Hugs and love to you
no what's desperate is sitting around having sex while having feelings for someone, hoping that if they fuck you enough they'll wake up one day and realise they like you. It doesn't work like that. if he wanted to be with you and liked you, he would've taken you off the market pretty quickly. loyalty and 'calling parts his' should be reserved for men who commit to you. don't sit in this situationship for months, talk and get a clear answer. make a decision based off that. your needs put first, so no accepting a maybe/we'll see/I'm not ready yet etc etc if it doesn't pan out the way you want, it's alright move on to the next and remember, all your eggs in one basket is not a good idea without even the basic commitment of an exclusive relationship.
My guy
You don't have to jump to totally cutting him out, but definitely give some careful consideration to continuing the relationship as it is. It doesn't matter that you've been together for a year. It wouldn't matter if you had been together five years. He got physical with you when he was upset about something else. There is no amount of time that makes that okay. Hell, I've been married twenty years and if my husband did any of those things, we would be having a very very serious conversation. You are 19. You have so so much life ahead of you. Do not waste it dating someone who can't act right.
You trust him even though he cheated on you?
Pls don’t get married. Just don’t. None of you are ready
The word ugly was a wfa, as I explained he is not conventionally attractive ? But thank you for the advice! Very useful!
It didn’t happen “in the heat of the moment.”
He had enough thought to grab his phone, pull up his camera app, and switch to record a video.
He cheated, recorded evidence HIMSELF, and was dumb enough to leave the evidence on his phone where he knew you’d see it. Then tried to gaslight you, like you have no idea how a phones photo album works.
Run. Far and fast.
You know all this and still don't understand why she needs more than 2 days to process lol.
Lmao put that in quote marks over a setting sun
DATE LOCALLY!
no marriage survives a dead bedroom
I'm so insecure for not wanting my partner to fuck other people , better tell my girlfriend she is massively insecure because she told me when we started dating she doesn't ever want to do none monogamous
I guess we will all just be 2 unhappy insecure people in our terrible monogamous relationships.
Thanks for letting us all know , that you the all mighty Goiterr are way smarter and mentally stable than everyone else here. Please do tell me how did you become so smart ?
But there was no sandwich to eat first, she said she would make it after.
Thank you, that really helps. The worst part of this is knowing how bad I’m going to hurt him now, but it’s good to know that doing this will help him in the long term.
I've had partners that don't mind if I kiss or make out with other girls. I've had partners that say it's cheating. If it makes you uncomfortable, you are 100% in the right to feel that way. If that's cheating for you, then she cheats on you.
You might change your mind when you're older, and date women that are more respectful of you. You may change your mind, you may never be comfortable with it. Just keep your boundaries and don't let people walk all over them.
It’s just so odd. He doesn’t want to lose the friendship but continues to think that doing things like this is ok
This is a clear sign that it’s time to go do your own thing dude. Be free.
and not brush my teeth since I’ll just be snacking all day anyway.
You need to brush your teeth anyway. It's important for breaking down the structures being built.
Think of it as burning down the city the plaque is trying to build in your mouth. Even if you're going to snack and give them supplies to rebuild, it's a big difference between building from a city your brush destroyed and building on their already existing infrastructure.
More on topic: He was rude about it, but he's also clearly communicating he's not okay with how you're letting yourself go. You can either hear that message or expect him to eventually break up with you.
He might have been mad because he was drunk and at the time he didn’t fufill his need to finish the sex. I get why he feels like you’re thinking about someone else, but try talking to him calmly later on, tomorrow whatever. Explain your situation and that you were raped long time ago and because of the alcohol you usually don’t deink in your system caused you to have flashbacks. Apologize to him for being hysterical as you think you were and tell him how you truly feel about having sex with him.
It can be asymptomatic but not dormant. In other words it is possible that the fiancé has had it for a long time but it isn’t possible that he has had it for a long time and didn’t pass it to her before they had their son.
The guy cheated at some point after the son was born or she would have tested positive back then.
If it's not worth asking your fiance if you can, then it's definitely not worth cheating.
Long term partner? You're a pedophile. I hope her dad knocks you the fuck out.
Love bombing is specifically for the purpose of luring in an abuse victim.
There are lots of people throughout this post to have talked about how they don't notice things like this when engrossed in a conversation and or using alcohol. But for some reason you keep refusing to believe that that's possible. Just like you don't notice everything that you see, hear, smell, you may not notice something touching you. Just like some people with autism spectrum disorders have very strong reactions to sensory input, people can also have very low reactions to sensory input – including touch. If you sat down after the conversation was already started, she may not have even looked at him and just assumed it was you until you walked into the room. She did not act guilty in the moment, she agrees that it was inappropriate that he had his arm around her, what more do you want?
It's not a boundary, it's a rule she wants on enforce. A boundary is something for oneself. Eg she won't hang out alone with another single man, because of some fucked up internalised misogyny
My husband and I have access to each other's email for like Amazon purchases and random important files like taxes or something.. he also can see all my reddit posts and I can see his. How is access like that unhealthy?
Dude, you’re not fooling anyone in here. Stop trying to sugarcoat bullshit.
Ummmm wth. My bf comes over and uses my body pillow. It’s assumed he’s using it. Truly, am only concerned with him being comfortable… I just use the two I need and he takes all of the other pillows… I also prefer to not use a second sheet. He requires this and I gladly put it on for him… it’s wild how easy it is to let ppl be or make someone feel comfortable or allow them to comfort themselves… yet there’s so many who are unable to allow it… a body pillow jealousy ?
Wild
Well, it must’ve been significant enough or it’s a pattern. I would give him space and let him figure it out. If he comes back great then I would quit doing what you’re doing. If he doesn’t, you couldn’t change it anyway you had already made the mistake. And pestering him will not make it any better.
That’s assuming you have internet, an address, a bank account, and the will to buy things you may need. A lot of people don’t have those things.
Have you read what you wrote? What do you get from this relationship?
Hire security and make it clear that no one not properly attired will be allowed in, and this is not up for discussion.
Tell your future in-laws that their amusement is irrelevant and ask if enabling their son is worth the permanent damage.
Yea that’s fucked up….but the gf lit the match on the fire. You have to actually cheat for that manipulation to happen…and the bf must’ve known that she would. Toxic situation.
I guss but damn that hirts
So you would have your daughter live with someone who doesn't want her there is being forced by you. Do you think that's nice? Nobody deserves to live with someone who doesn't want them there and makes them feel like an inconvenience!
You lack empathy.
I have PTSD and that's exactly how I would react. especially before treatment. of course hitting isn't okay but what he did was SA and I'd say that response was warrented
It would have been cheating if she lied about it or kissed him back.
Cheating is a romantic or sexual interaction that you hide from your SO. That she immediately told you is a good thing.
Was it Kanye who did this? I don't remember. If you have sex next time, put hot sauce on your condom after you cum and let her have it. She'll never do anything of the sort again.
Jokes aside, run, boy. That's unhinged, psychopatic behaviour. Also weird AF.
Cover your bases, man. She could 100% get pregnant from this. Try to get proof and kick her out of your life!
It can be both. This type of behavior is abusive to those around you, and is pretty uncalled for in a new relationship. You shouldn't be expected to manage the mental state of a suicidal and self-deprecating person only months after getting together.
Your boyfriend needs professional help. Full stop. If he refuses to take the steps necessary to heal and improve his mental state, you should leave. You have to look out for yourself first and foremost. He is the only person responsible for his actions. If things dont improve, do not allow him to guilt trip you into staying.
Talk to a security person about how to get a hidden camera set up in your bedroom.
Wouldn’t it be best to start it off with couple’s counseling at least? It’s not good to make big decisions when there’s a rushed timeline. It’s too late to get deposits back anyway – couple’s counseling can give you the tools you need to actually find each other and fall in love again. Or a better path to a messfree breakup. Either way, money wellspent.
If you do this now, a month before the wedding, and whilst she is pregnant, you will always be seen as a monster. I’m sorry, but that’s the truth.
It's never happened before no.
I don't want it to happen anymore, I feel so embarrassed about telling her too. How am I supposed to work through this?
Change two and add three or four others—it’ll kill her to try and determine the necessary corrections.
You got this. You don't need a reason to end a relationship. But this post alone shows that you have many reasons.
You got this. You don't need a reason to end a relationship. But this post alone shows that you have many reasons.
If you’re having hesitations, you’re not ready. If someone is pressuring you this hard, he’s not worth it.
Go ahead and end it. You’ll be better for it in the long run.
Maybe not. But tgat's a contact the mother doesn't trust, so off she goes and tgat's all.
You, dumbass. Literally you.
This would be a deal breaker for me. His choosing not to understand something simple that youve explained to him how many times in how many ways? He's trying to manipulate control over this firm and reasonable boundary you've set. He's just not a good guy. If he wasn't being so manipulative I'd say he just needs therapy and you'd be fine, but how he's acting is emotional abuse, it's toxic for a relationship. He needs therapy before he can be in a relationship.
listening to comedy
is masculine? women are not supposed to have a sense of humour?
It sounds like you don't need him for carrying heavy things, that's great. What does he contribute to the relationship?
What exactly are you asking advice about?
Yes he’s trying to get back with his ex (maybe he regrets it, or some other reason who knows?). You’re either in his way or his backup plan
This is not he once grossly violates someone's privacy, this is he's still doing it, and given the chance, he'll do it again.
Also, what.the.fuck, he's watching (basically or literally) revenge porn?
So he – a) is disgusting about a colleague's spouse (which both of them should be told about), b) willingly and continuously disregards a literal crime (or it should be) to get off, and c) *you're both seeing this as a simple “violation of trust and privacy”?
His actions are disgusting; what did he expect from you, absolution? You're not a priest, you're hopefully his soon to be ex.
Maybe stick around long enough to know how exactly he saw these revenge porn videos, and the name of the that colleague, so you want anyone and everyone you can. Maybe you can't do anything about these unfortunate people whose intimate moments were filmed and shared around, but that colleague? That should be a lock, he should know, and your boyfriend should absolutely suffer any consequences that may come his way.
How is this your or your wife’s business?
I love him a lot,
One of the big things that is a decider as to whether a marriage can survive something like this is the overall honesty of the person who cheated. Even now you are lying to yourself and to us about the true state of your feelings.
Simply put, if you really loved him you would not have cheated. So you are lying about this. It wasn't though a “huge shitty mistake”, it was you taking conscious decisions to betray your husband and cheat on him with another man. So again, another lie. You claim it was an “accident” but again, you did this on purpose so here we have yet another lie.
You see though why your husband is filing for divorce? You simply can't be trusted, will lie at the drop of a hat and you can't even be honest with yourself.
I hope your husband is able to recover from this betrayal at your hands.
OP might have better luck publicly shaming the co-worker