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Date: October 14, 2022
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His behavior is abusive. He is not okay with your job and can't treat you bad due to his insecurities. He will repeat this behavior if allowed back into your life.
You sound terrible. You have to let people know if you are fwb only. Most people are looking for sex in a relationshipish (or are open to one developing) direction. This guy probably calls you his girlfriend and feels all weird and bad because his girlfriend treats him like shit. Learn how to people.
I could easily see it being more convenient for me to wash something of my girlfriends for any number of reasons. People on this sub are wild.
Isn't what happened to oliver queen in Arrow? You could come back as our next super hero
And he says he tried a few times as in more than once??
Thank you for your help
Yeah, that’s why I am trying to let him know in the best possible way, but he’s so stuck on the incident that he simply repeats himself over and over… It’s exhausting. I’m trying to stand my ground, tho.
Thank you!
Agreed I’m not going to block or ghost her. I’m not really interested in friendship I guess. I can’t get rid of the romantic thoughts with her.
typical responses from people who don't ask questions. and I stand by what I said even if people get their feathers ruffled. being in a relationship doesn't mean someone owns you , doesn't mean they own all your time.
If you can't go out with friends a weekend to celebrate without all the drama that is a red flag and frankly other some of the people here should be concerned that they have normalized this behavior.
I hate the whole needing ask permission from a partner before one is allowed to do something. there is difference between checking in with a partner and making sure there weren't other plans already committed to and needing permission from a partner. plus, you are long distance so you definitely didn't have plans with each other anyway. so nah, go out with your friends.
Sounds like it’s time for a more mature model. If he is still this immature at 35, 40 won’t be much better.
Imo: if You drink alcohol daily, you're in alcoholic territory. It's a harddrug, and it is not good for you. The only reason it's legal, is because of history.
My solution has always been: drinking, smoking and whatever else, is limited to the Friday and Saturday. Sunday i can detox, and on Monday i'm completely sober and active again. Of course sometimes i go out to dinner with friends on a Thursday and have a beer, but i try not to make it a habit, because over time it affects your health.
Doesn't sound like the pair of you like each other much, if it's a deal breaker for her I don't think I'd argue if I was you.
I figure it is but maybe not. My Mormon nephew recently came out as gay and he posted a pic of him and his boyfriend with a pillow under his shirt, like a maternity shot for some joke I still don't get. They aren't expecting a child it was some kind of graduation joke. Who knows but I'll ask my gay son about that as well.
That’s how I try to program myself whenever their is an issue because I deal with it more than anyone else it’s 3am and I can’t sleep because this is still on my mind from a conversation we had at 12 any time it’s a issue it’s always a way we can fix it as long as both parities try every solution
Call 911. Your husband done fuxked up but he alone is responsible for drugging your child and should face all repercussions.
You were just two months together and went so overboard. You can't force people to go what you want.
Move on, forget her. Otherwise you will end in restraining order territory. This woman already has a bad history and al you did think about was “me, me, ME”. You never thought how she felt when you did this. You knew her history and instead being understanding why she need space… So please, you see that you are not good for her. Stop it.
And please go also to therapy. That you react like this… And you are 30. And if i read this i could think you are 16.
Really wasn't my intention at all but it is for sure an eye opener. I really need to expand past my little thought box and see it for what it is. I thought I was reassuring him and making him feel loved, I didn't know that those words could also harm by taking away from his feelings and making him feel invalidated. I'll do better next time for sure. Thank you
You and I both know. If this was the other way around and her male best friend tried to convince her to dump you so they could be together you would not be ok with them hanging out and being friends.
Look you can have a “boundary” about staying friends with people who want to fuck you. But if she had any self esteem she’d dump you and find someone who won’t treat her like you do.
I know there is irony in this based on the problem OP is having, but check if your state is one or two party consent before recording him without his permission.
It is highly probable that neither one of you can remember so great
Not sure why you are holding on to your old life, your husband didn't. Why not give this new guy a chance.
You're going to single-handedly use up all of the usernames.
I’m not sure why you are under the impression that I treat her badly because I am saying I don’t want to babysit my entire weekend off and am expressing that I need time to myself to be able to do schoolwork and spend time with my own children.
Op, checking in on you. Yes your wife went through an unimaginable violation but you as her husband are also dealing with a lot therefore you need help. The dynamics of you house has shifted and a breakdown has occurred you need support sir. You need tools to help you to deal with the upcoming battles that could potentially rip your family to shreds. Pls seek help.
Also, just to make sure, get the paternity test done to make sure the kid isn't yours. Plssssss. Don't let that creep win.
No matter what, stick together. He has taken enough.
God bless you both and your family. Shalom.
Yes ma’am. Good luck and enjoy your youth while you have it. It is a precious and short-lived commodity.
You need to have a conversation that takes threesomes completely off the table. You guys are too far apart to come together. This will not end well if you go through with it.
I dunno, staying with a dying old friend and his adult kids does'nt seem like a fuckfest to me? That whole dying thing is a real bonerkiller. I'm someone who's friends with exes, and so is my partner (the good ones we didn't work out with but still like) and wouldn't care at all if he were to catsit at his ex. One of my exes did music at my wedding. I wouldn't frame this as disrespect as much as “you are different people with different expectations and lives and perhaps are not compatible.”
He told me, he is not going to resign. He also will not quit, if I would get pregnant or something would happen when we would do long distance and I would have job in the South. He said he is not going to quit for anything, because he is not a quiter.
Besides that, he already made this choice. I can not live with myself I he would resign because of me or us. I would prefer letting someone go and know he is having his dreamjob. Even if that means I will be sad and heartbroken for a long time.
Then you absolutely shouldn't be in an adult relationship, figure out your shit first.
Ohh it's totally serious! You deserve a laugh too. Enjoy!
Just because you don't know or understand normally used words it doesn't mean it's “jargon”. Or maybe you don't know the meaning of a word “jargon”, I don't know and don't care.
You can be inconsistent and (trying to be) calculative there is no contradiction here, maybe someone else can explain to you such simple things.
Your bf can know everything, it still doesn't change what I wrote.
You are benefiting from the said situation and doesn't mind it. Multiple people told you what is the reason here. It's your fault.
What insane reaction? Setting boundaries is an insane reaction…? The hell are you even talking about…?
Also I already told you, stop talking about all women, don't lump yourself with women who actually are in a situation they want to get out of. I'm talking exclusively about you and your actions. Making it seem like it's about every woman isn't going to change anything.
All of this is direct consequence of your actions – spending time with your coworker in a bar multiple times, him taking care of you when you were too drunk to be left all alone, you eventually picking your bf and not cutting ties or setting boundaries with said coworker, him asking you multiple times when you are going to marry him, benefitting financially directly thanks to him etc and you still entertaining him and pretend being oblivious here. And these are the things you told us, I wonder how many details you've kept to yourself to make it seem more in your favour.
Oh, I forgot to ask – how your bf should “deal with this” according to you? You said that if he was smart he would deal with it. You expect him to do what exactly? He should beat said coworker? Start to argue with him? Because the way he is dealing with this is the right and mature approach. And it wouldn't be a problem long time ago if it wasn't for you wanting to keep your cake and eat it too.
I didn't really expect any other response. Just don't be surprised when it will come back to bite your ass.
Oh bro just bounce, this whole thing stinks lol.
So him doing all those sweet things for you before wasn’t actually who he was, it was just the beginning act to get you hooked. Now he feels like he doesn’t have to try anymore. Just ask yourself if this new real version of him is someone you’d be happy to be with a year from now, since this is how he’s going to be with you from now on.
Be sad. Be very very sad. For as long as you need. You can’t escape it, so just go through it
I just can't. She had not one but TWO babies and you think “it can't be that hard to take care of them”. You're a selfish POS that doesn't help his wife with the kids. Instead you complain you aren't getting attention. It's gross.
Good. For. You. We all know the doubts will creep up at times, but you have two children to raise, you have to live the example of whatever boundaries you want for them.
You’re right that it was his choice, so when you start to doubt just remind yourself that he cheated. He hid his drinking, and then he cheated and kept it from you. At any time he could have been 100% honest, but he chose not to until he was caught.
The gaslighting and pure meanness (so, emotional abuse) would be enough to leave without the cheating. Also, repeated cheating is abuse.
There is always journaling, ofc therapy, time with kids, family, and friends…but don’t forget to come back and read this post and the replies. He can be good-hearted all he wants on your mind, but it doesn’t negate him gaslighting, lying, or cheating. Get angry and be okay in that anger to process it. Find your friend(s) who you can lift each other up, vent about it but not dwell together-because what a sh!t a$$!-and focus on making as independent a life as possible.
Yeah he wants to cheat without “cheating”. I’d break it off for good just for suggesting this. Even if he says he won’t “cheat” and y’all won’t be “on break” anymore, he will and his boys will cover for him. Even if he really doesn’t… he will eventually. He’s already thought about it. Don’t let him do that to you. It’s the worst feeling ever.