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Dina, 20 y.o.
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Date: October 12, 2022
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You neglected him in the most recent half which is why he broke up with you. He clearly wants to be left alone, why can’t you let them have it? Texting a break up is a jerk move, but let him be a jerk.
Whether she’s being completely honest or not… just take it for what it is. Stop trying, she clearly doesn’t want anything more with you so accept that
If he had told her then why would she have a reason to say no?
Was your friend married? And were you spending a lot of time together like OP has stated?
Might be very different factors in your experience and hers.
Well are you comfortable with her doing cocaine?
Why surprising??
Yes. This right here. What else can OP learn from redditors?
Thank you for your response.
I've thought about couples counseling and I've told him how I felt, and every time I get waterworks and he tells me how much he loves me and that he can't do anything without me. But I am just really, really tired of putting in so much thought for him, because I've explained that birthdays and Christmas etc means a lot to me… one year my Christmas gift from him was 2 towels. I was so disappointed that I laugh-cried.
I just don't want to feel like I'm becoming like him, becoming “low effort” like him. He promised me he'd start therapy and he has, but it seems like most of the time he's there he spends his time defending his behavior or making me seem like I'm being unreasonable.
I don't even know if there's a point to couples therapy anymore. He couldn't even be bothered to go on dates with me and I feel like he doesn't care about romance in the slightest… it's just more complicated because we have a kid together. I just… I don't know what to do.
I understood what you meant, but what I meant is: you can’t do anything about it. Some people lose themselves to relationships, and you can choose to distance yourself (because you know it will happen again), but since you’re all friends, you don’t have to nuke the relationship.
Hang out with other people. Do other things.
No it’s more of I’m wondering if he wishes or regrets that he didn’t have sex with them when he had the opportunity to do so.
Therapy
I got used to using the term bc of my Muslim friends. It means forbidden
Girl number one isn’t interested. She told you that. Get to know the other girl. Take it slow. Love doesn’t happen in a month. It takes time. When you say propose, you mean asking for a date, right?
“However, he says that partners need to show up for their SOs and do things once in a while that they wouldn't necessarily love to do but that their SO really wants them at.”
How often does he join in to your hobbies?
You don't want to go clubbing, you also see this as bad for your health and expensive…. You shouldn't feel like you have to go
I'd say romantic interest is the most likely reason. Ask her out to lunch or coffee!
Yeah because you never know if they can support you, it’s draining when you are going through something and then someone is venting and you can’t really emotionally support them as much as you can
I will do that and I asked that and he said he would’ve help anyone that was in the same position
Ew
She’s wrong.
No, I'm baffled by how her parents are acting.
Just offer the options: stay home, part time and full time. Tell her you would appreciate her being home more but you will support her choice.
Also, how do you think the mum giving the kid up for what's basically a new lover who slapped a wedding ring on her is gonna make her look? To everyone, and especially her child.
Yes! If OP and mom were part of my social circle, I would be cutring ties with them. No way I would be hanging out with them and acting like what they wete doing is okay.
One of my friends got HSV2 in HS. She is now married and has a child with her husband and she is happier than I have ever seen her. You will find someone amazing after you dump this loser.
It sounds like you have a great friend.
“Intimacy is something I need in a romantic relationship. We get along well, and blah blah blah, but we are not compatible”
We decided we would track how much money he spends and he would pay me back later – currently sitting in 5 figures.
oh no.
Now I’m worried that he’s only staying with me because he’s got a pretty good deal
yeaa. he is definitely taking advantage and has little respect for you. me personally i'd cut my losses. idk how high the chances are of you actually getting a dime of that back, don't waste any more time with him
Sorry. You were mooching off grandma first. That doesn’t change anything lol.
Why about to break up? Why haven’t you ended it?
She doesn’t respect you. You are the safety relationship. You not instantly ending it from the start tells her that you will be accepting of a lot of bad behaviour until she finds her right relationship.
OP is straight up protecting a sexual predator. There is no way that's going to be the last assault this guy commits.