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Melanie, 46 y.o.
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Online Live Sex Chat rooms Melanie
Date: October 11, 2022
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Sexual trauma due to religion is a real thing. Has she had any professional support to process this?
Have you, you know…
Talked to him about this?
He wanted a blowjob but didn’t have the energy to put any effort into you which means you didn’t get satisfied. He wasn’t clear up front about it, so you thought both of you would benefit, but that didn’t happen. It’s right to feel a little used, but I wouldn’t say there is an issue unless it happens more often. Talk to him and let him know. See how he responds.
Yeah I'd let it go, it's in the past and we all do dumb things. I can't say I haven't done exactly what he has, but I'd like to be forgiven for it too. I'm sure you've done something gross pathetic and cringey, even if you don't realize it. It's all part of growing up, we're all idiots at some point in out life.
Besides, looking back at yourself and cringing is a sign that you're growing as a person.
So…. You were already broken up then?
OP, You don’t get to have it both ways. One way or another, your relationship as you know it is dead and gone.
Either you leave now before you make a fool of yourself, or you can try this open relationship and get exactly as hurt as you seem to know you will be.
Also, just my two cents, she may have started this “open relationship” at the retreat. Seems kind of odd that she goes off on this vacation alone, then returns with the epiphany that she should be allowed to fuck other people, no?
Your boyfriend isn't mature enough for a romantic relationship. There are a million red flags here.
Thank you I appreciate it, came clean to my girlfriend about everything including my substance abuse disorder, my past criminal convictions and behavior, the situation with her brother and some more things.
Obviously it was a lot for to take in so she just said she wanted a few days by herself to take everything in and think about things, she hasn’t said weather we are done as a couple or not. Just that she needed time to process all of this, which is completely understandable I don’t think she knew I was even capable of doing the things I admitted to so, we’ll see what happens
Thanks for your input on this! I'm not necessarily afraid that we won't find a solution together but much more about the interaction that leads us there. I'm fairly inexperienced when it comes to talking about how things make me feel and tend to search for solutions that benefit both while neglecting the emotional aspect of ot all. I'll definitely try to use “I feel” statements to communicate what's going on when we talk.
I'm confused by your title. Are you the boyfriend or the girlfriend?
he's insistent I'm wrong
I'm really curious about his credentials to determine this.
I mean, it sounds like he's in a totally different industry.
I'm sure, with the best of intentions, that he is mansplaining your business to you.
I agree here, but I’ve just got that weird feeling something doesn’t sit right
That’s what I’m thinking at this point!!
stopped reading at engaged at 7 months,, what were you thinking? ?
It sounds like she does care but that she isn’t expressing it in the same way you are. Remember that people show they care and express feelings in different ways.
Red flags …. Don't get married. He wants to be controlling and he can't even communicate to you why. I hate to say it op but it's probably time to move on.
And drink it… And give it to their children… It's such a gross, weird, unscientific movement among the conspiracy theorists right now. Ew.
For sure. If she would not have married him having known this, that's not great to know, but it's her right. Maybe it's something she can look past, but she had to be aware of it first.
I do have empathy. I empathize with the woman who had to make the decision without her partner, because she clearly couldn’t tell him.
What are the job opportunities like for your future career in the town you are living in? You need to balance that with the opportunities in London.
Hell no. Someone who would make any massive decision on their own when in a committed relationship does NOT view you as a partner.
Look when I was 20 I dated a guy I thought was amazing. I literally couldn’t imagine my life without him. My parents disliked him for many of the same reasons you stated. I stayed with him 4 years and we had a huge blowout breakup. It took along time to heal. I’m 30 now and when I look back at that relationship I am embarrassed I was so naive and love struck and regret not listening to those who had my best interests. Just sharing this as food for thought as the way you describe your situation is so close to how I felt back then.
Thank you. The validation helps.
It's correct to break up with bigots.
he has been a great partner until this. I can't think of any other selfish or inconsiderate behaviour. In the past when I've been ill, he's taken care of me and been loving and caring.
You mean when he wasn't horny. Now that he's feeling horny, what you're going through doesn't matter. He took care of you because he got sex without having to “go without” for “too long”.
I know I'm very emotional at the moment. That's why I wanted to check that I'm not overreacting by being upset and angry
No, you're UNDER-reacting, this behavior is utterly unacceptable. This silent treatment is also seriously coercive. Nothing about his behavior is OK here.
I agree that he is in tge wrong, by asking how to resolve this, I guess I was hoping to get some suggestions on how to address this because he's not talking to me and I don't want to ignore this and frankly I need his help at least for the next couple of days. I don't have anyone nearby to go stay with and didn't think it would be necessary
Maybe it wouldn't be necessary, but do you really see this guy, now that he's shown how little he REALLY thinks of you when you're going through something really tough, as lifetime material? His exploitative behavior, wanting sex from you when you're recovering from a miscarriage and infection when you're going through so much physically and emotionally, AND HE ISN'T EVEN LETTING YOU HEAL UP, is just insane.
Lady, I'm a dad, I could not even IMAGINE treating any woman, much less the woman I'm trying to have kids with, the way your husband has been treating you. He has proven to you that your value to him is solely in the sexual gratification you can give him. How can you ever see the guy in the same light again? This guy's behavior is seriously disgusting. As your husband, he should be looking to protect you and give you time to heal, not use you for sex regardless of how you feel about it. You're right to be upset by this, his thinking it's “unreasonable” for you not to act as his concubine at this moment is insane and disgusting. Did I say disgusting twice? Well, it's more than twice as disgusting as usual.
Thank you. I think she was just expecting me to be malicious, so she took it that way.
I do want to get past it. I honestly think that if she didn't get this way when she's stressed, we'd have few disagreements in our friendship. I've apologized already for my actions, but she still seems hurt. Should I do anything in the meantime?