break up with her. you don't have the time or desire to prioritize a romantic relationship right now, which is fine. but one or both of you will end up really resentful if you continue like this
If this is something that you feel like you need to go low contact to no contact, that is your right and your choice.
You don’t however get a vote on who they date.
I can see a lot of difficulty especially if one or the other relationship were to end acrimoniously. That would make the remaining relationship strained.
That is about the only thing you have to complain about.
Your parents are adults. They have needs and wants and dreams outside of you.
I can say that you and your wife need some very firm ground rules.
Neither of you can talk about your marriage to either parent. You aren’t talking to your father looking for advice anymore, you’re asking your wife’s stepfather who will talk to her mother…..
Any kind of issues you have in your relationship can and will become big drama if you bring your parents into it at all. They now have conflicts of interest.
Change is hard. Your parents are allowed to be selfish. It actually isn’t a bad thing. Moving on from your job may be necessary. But it also might just be the kick to get you into something bigger and better.
Try to see the good things.
Bring up your concerns to your parents (not that you are grossed out). Talk about relationship boundaries, how they shouldn’t talk to you two about their relationship and that you can’t talk to them about your relationship. It isn’t going to be healthy. Talk to them about what a break up would look like. Talk to them about how you feel like your work environment isn’t a healthy place anymore.
I see your life is already a bit incestuous as you work with them already. This does complicate that. A new job will help delineate between personal and professional relationships.
This is stressful, but something that can be overcome.
I advise that you go low contact for a bit at first. Have that conversation then put them on an info diet. Let them have their relationship and see if it burns out quick or if this becomes serious. Once you find a balance, try re-integrating them back into your daily lives.
My mother miscarried two babies way before the window of viability. The second one (this was in the 70s, early 80s) the doctors figured out that she basically had no cervix. Most women have this nice cord of muscle there to drawstring the babies in place. My mom had mush. So she was told to get her ass on birth control, because she would never, ever carry a pregnancy to term. So she got on the best birth control they had in the 80s.
Which means that I am literally living proof that birth control can fail.
My mom was devastated to discover she was preggo with me. Not because she didn't want me, but because her last baby had lived just long enough to get a name. She didn't want to go through it again. Fortunately for her, me, and my kid, her amazing OBGYN was able to get me here alive.
If you do not want a baby, two methods of BC are what we advise these days. Condoms and the pill, condoms and spermicidal lube, condoms and a diaphram AND spermicidal lube. But if you don't want your swimmers to make a goal, the rubber is your friend.
Also, a girl in the modern era? Who legit does not want a baby? Would not be asking you to ditch the wrappers. She'd be the one bringing the spermicidal lube. So not only should you not have sex unprotected, you should strongly reconsider having sex with this girl at all.
I don’t believe the current SO even knows she was still in a relationship with my boyfriend. They both claim they weren’t having sex towards the end of the relationship so I don’t believe that the child is my boyfriends. But obviously it freaked me out initially when I learned this information.
Creeper
People aren’t really that complicated.
You could just show her this post. Youve already written it all out.
Wrong thread! This is not AITA.
break up with her. you don't have the time or desire to prioritize a romantic relationship right now, which is fine. but one or both of you will end up really resentful if you continue like this
If this is something that you feel like you need to go low contact to no contact, that is your right and your choice.
You don’t however get a vote on who they date.
I can see a lot of difficulty especially if one or the other relationship were to end acrimoniously. That would make the remaining relationship strained.
That is about the only thing you have to complain about.
Your parents are adults. They have needs and wants and dreams outside of you.
I can say that you and your wife need some very firm ground rules.
Neither of you can talk about your marriage to either parent. You aren’t talking to your father looking for advice anymore, you’re asking your wife’s stepfather who will talk to her mother…..
Any kind of issues you have in your relationship can and will become big drama if you bring your parents into it at all. They now have conflicts of interest.
Change is hard. Your parents are allowed to be selfish. It actually isn’t a bad thing. Moving on from your job may be necessary. But it also might just be the kick to get you into something bigger and better.
Try to see the good things.
Bring up your concerns to your parents (not that you are grossed out). Talk about relationship boundaries, how they shouldn’t talk to you two about their relationship and that you can’t talk to them about your relationship. It isn’t going to be healthy. Talk to them about what a break up would look like. Talk to them about how you feel like your work environment isn’t a healthy place anymore.
I see your life is already a bit incestuous as you work with them already. This does complicate that. A new job will help delineate between personal and professional relationships.
This is stressful, but something that can be overcome.
I advise that you go low contact for a bit at first. Have that conversation then put them on an info diet. Let them have their relationship and see if it burns out quick or if this becomes serious. Once you find a balance, try re-integrating them back into your daily lives.
I have trouble understanding if you have a problem with her sleeping with him or him sleeping with her.
The latter makes more sense to me, but also has an obvious solution of writing him of as potential fuckbuddy.
You know what's a great way to end up breaking up? OP telling himself this is no big deal and letting resentment simmer.
My mother miscarried two babies way before the window of viability. The second one (this was in the 70s, early 80s) the doctors figured out that she basically had no cervix. Most women have this nice cord of muscle there to drawstring the babies in place. My mom had mush. So she was told to get her ass on birth control, because she would never, ever carry a pregnancy to term. So she got on the best birth control they had in the 80s.
Which means that I am literally living proof that birth control can fail.
My mom was devastated to discover she was preggo with me. Not because she didn't want me, but because her last baby had lived just long enough to get a name. She didn't want to go through it again. Fortunately for her, me, and my kid, her amazing OBGYN was able to get me here alive.
If you do not want a baby, two methods of BC are what we advise these days. Condoms and the pill, condoms and spermicidal lube, condoms and a diaphram AND spermicidal lube. But if you don't want your swimmers to make a goal, the rubber is your friend.
Also, a girl in the modern era? Who legit does not want a baby? Would not be asking you to ditch the wrappers. She'd be the one bringing the spermicidal lube. So not only should you not have sex unprotected, you should strongly reconsider having sex with this girl at all.
I don’t believe the current SO even knows she was still in a relationship with my boyfriend. They both claim they weren’t having sex towards the end of the relationship so I don’t believe that the child is my boyfriends. But obviously it freaked me out initially when I learned this information.