It's very clear that you love your animals way more than your bf. In addition, he is just not an animal person. If I were you, I would call off the engagement-promise situation.
A simple convo “i like when you kiss me and touch up on me but it doesnt always have to be sexual. You can kiss me and touch me intimately without it always leading to sex and if you want to have sex or are in the mood, tell me and we’ll see where that goes for the day”
His behaviour sounds like negging tbh – it’s hella manipulative and insensitive at the very least. I would bet money that some of your depressive symptoms have been directly catalyzed by him in some way. I would also bet that if you break up with him, your mood will improve once you have worked through the grief of the break up.
I’m far over the stage of being with someone simply because they’re “cute”. I’ve dated many men much worse then this. And that’s on being a domestic violence survivor. He has redeemable qualities. This is the only struggle I have with him.
The only mistake she’s made here is telling you she’d delete him on Twitter.
Liking someone’s tweets alone is not flirting. It might seem like a lot but twitters algorithm will give you more of someone’s tweets if you interact with them.
Hell even if he is trying to flirt with her, you have no reason not to trust her in this situation. If liking one of his tweets feels disrespectful to you then you probably need to take a step back and figure out why, because that’s not an indication of anything other than your own self esteem.
Is there a reason you don’t trust him? Like did he do something in the past or is this just an internal issue with you?? Are you like this in every relationship, or is it just with him??
I was going to suggest therapy, so I’m glad to see you are already doing that. But I also agree with the previous comment, he is communicating his needs to you and you’re not giving him them. You are young so it’s honestly surprising to me that he hasn’t left you yet. These are huge red flags on your end, and if you ever want ANY relationship to work you need to figure out why you have these trust and control issues before getting anyone else involved. If he did something in the past to break your trust, then you both need to figure out how to move on from that together. If these issues are only coming from you, and not because of anything you did, then you need some serious soul searching. Find some good self help books, get a journal and start writing all of your negative emotions out.
I asked him to cut contact with her, he doesn’t seem to agree. He said they work together and still need to speak due to work. He said for a whole year he didn’t speak to her so she is not the problem, that I am focusing too much on her when I should be focusing on the WHY he did what he did and what our marriage is lacking
I ended up doing that, and explaining briefly why
It's very clear that you love your animals way more than your bf. In addition, he is just not an animal person. If I were you, I would call off the engagement-promise situation.
Both good points
This can’t be real.
A simple convo “i like when you kiss me and touch up on me but it doesnt always have to be sexual. You can kiss me and touch me intimately without it always leading to sex and if you want to have sex or are in the mood, tell me and we’ll see where that goes for the day”
Tell him if she shows up dressed as a clown, he'll get treated like one and tossed out immediately.
His behaviour sounds like negging tbh – it’s hella manipulative and insensitive at the very least. I would bet money that some of your depressive symptoms have been directly catalyzed by him in some way. I would also bet that if you break up with him, your mood will improve once you have worked through the grief of the break up.
I’m far over the stage of being with someone simply because they’re “cute”. I’ve dated many men much worse then this. And that’s on being a domestic violence survivor. He has redeemable qualities. This is the only struggle I have with him.
I would rather burn my thumbs than ever agree to that. That is a one way track to becoming financially dependent or worse
The only mistake she’s made here is telling you she’d delete him on Twitter.
Liking someone’s tweets alone is not flirting. It might seem like a lot but twitters algorithm will give you more of someone’s tweets if you interact with them.
Hell even if he is trying to flirt with her, you have no reason not to trust her in this situation. If liking one of his tweets feels disrespectful to you then you probably need to take a step back and figure out why, because that’s not an indication of anything other than your own self esteem.
Oh yeah!! No worries, that was just last night!!
Is there a reason you don’t trust him? Like did he do something in the past or is this just an internal issue with you?? Are you like this in every relationship, or is it just with him??
I was going to suggest therapy, so I’m glad to see you are already doing that. But I also agree with the previous comment, he is communicating his needs to you and you’re not giving him them. You are young so it’s honestly surprising to me that he hasn’t left you yet. These are huge red flags on your end, and if you ever want ANY relationship to work you need to figure out why you have these trust and control issues before getting anyone else involved. If he did something in the past to break your trust, then you both need to figure out how to move on from that together. If these issues are only coming from you, and not because of anything you did, then you need some serious soul searching. Find some good self help books, get a journal and start writing all of your negative emotions out.
I asked him to cut contact with her, he doesn’t seem to agree. He said they work together and still need to speak due to work. He said for a whole year he didn’t speak to her so she is not the problem, that I am focusing too much on her when I should be focusing on the WHY he did what he did and what our marriage is lacking
Excellent post and it opened my eyes as well.