Whoa, two months, that’s 8 weeks. The fact that she’s having these conversations in anything other than the abstract to determine compatibility is a huge red flag.
You don’t know someone after 2 months. I’m sure you’re great, but if it were me I’d question if she’s in love with you, or the idea of being in love.
I think you’re finding out that you two are not compatible.
If she had sex with you without a condom she’s had sex with other guys without a condom. STDs spread easily and this is why. Wait a bit, get tested. If you are positive for anything, let her know.
Yerp…that's exactly what it sounds like. It's a form of ” reclaiming her sexuality”
This is 100% a trauma response and not an irregular one.
A therapist will help her navigate this better than OP or herself can (on her own).
Trauma tends to warp things, and it also makes people try “new ways to fix things” when all the normal the avenues have failed. A therapist will help her find healthy ways to navigate the trauma.
I'm speaking from experience here, obviously not this specifically, but oof do I think back and go “why did I think that would work? Thank god he didn't take me up on it” Lol.
Just be there OP and recognize this can be a long road but a fruitful one if she truly puts in the work (goes to her regular therapy appts and listens/does the “homework” she's assigned).
Also, don't throw this back in her face down the road, it will torpedo your relationship into oblivion.
it'll come up every few weeks and she'll make comments and say that I actually don't like her body as much as I say I do. Or she'll say that I'm just lying to myself and that I'd prefer other bodies more. Whenever it comes up I'll take as much time as I need to to comfort her in that i do love her body, but every few weeks it'll still come up. I'll comfort her and tell her how i feel as much as I need to but maybe im going about it the wrong way.
Hahahahh what?
Whoa, two months, that’s 8 weeks. The fact that she’s having these conversations in anything other than the abstract to determine compatibility is a huge red flag.
You don’t know someone after 2 months. I’m sure you’re great, but if it were me I’d question if she’s in love with you, or the idea of being in love.
I think you’re finding out that you two are not compatible.
Nothing wrong with saying it and feeling it as long as you are aware that you have only seen the tip of the iceberg with this person.
If she had sex with you without a condom she’s had sex with other guys without a condom. STDs spread easily and this is why. Wait a bit, get tested. If you are positive for anything, let her know.
Yerp…that's exactly what it sounds like. It's a form of ” reclaiming her sexuality”
This is 100% a trauma response and not an irregular one.
A therapist will help her navigate this better than OP or herself can (on her own).
Trauma tends to warp things, and it also makes people try “new ways to fix things” when all the normal the avenues have failed. A therapist will help her find healthy ways to navigate the trauma.
I'm speaking from experience here, obviously not this specifically, but oof do I think back and go “why did I think that would work? Thank god he didn't take me up on it” Lol.
Just be there OP and recognize this can be a long road but a fruitful one if she truly puts in the work (goes to her regular therapy appts and listens/does the “homework” she's assigned).
Also, don't throw this back in her face down the road, it will torpedo your relationship into oblivion.
it'll come up every few weeks and she'll make comments and say that I actually don't like her body as much as I say I do. Or she'll say that I'm just lying to myself and that I'd prefer other bodies more. Whenever it comes up I'll take as much time as I need to to comfort her in that i do love her body, but every few weeks it'll still come up. I'll comfort her and tell her how i feel as much as I need to but maybe im going about it the wrong way.
No she is working on “saving you” snd bring more peiple into her church.