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Date: November 29, 2022
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The guy you’re seeing doesn’t seem like a good guy by the sounds of it. I wouldn’t recommend staying with this guy for the long haul if that’s how he treats others. You deserve someone your proud to be with.
No she’s just being waaay too sensitive I am literally crazy and if someone said I have crazy eyes I’d just laugh it it off if you’re secure in the relationship then a bad/lame joke like that wouldn’t ruin the whole relationship
If you don’t want that, say you don’t want it. If she leaves, all good. Move on and meet someone else.
“forced the backdoor even while I sobbed”.
Is that consent to you?
I have a type of EDS and I’m on the spectrum so I can sympathize with a lot of what you’ve described; I can’t drive, I can’t work full time, I can’t lift heavy things, etc. I have would be considered “medium support needs”. I feel bad for how often I need to rely on my girlfriend for transport, but with the state of public transportation I’m left with little options.
How long has your girlfriend been in therapy? I started therapy in 9th grade for a myriad of things and didn’t really see improvement until a good 6+ months of weekly/bi-weekly sessions. Therapy is a slow process. That said, it sounds like getting your own therapist to speak to about these sort of things would benefit you; have a place to safely vent your frustrations and get advice on how you’d like to proceed. Caretakers fatigue is a hard thing to deal with and it doesn’t make you a bad person for experiencing the burn-out.
On the topic of kids, because of my various genetic issues my girlfriend and I decided we’re going to adopt if/when we find ourselves in the position to provide a comfortable, stable home-life. Would adaption be on the table for you? Would your wife consider a surrogate with IVF? There’s options that don’t directly put your wife (and babys) life at risk.
Best of luck!
First:
Yes! Often after these emotional incidents, she would worry that I would leave her and that I was emotionally checkout. Despite my attempts to reassure her that I was frustrated with her behaviour and did not know how to help her, she would lash out again and then fear me leaving. One so incident was when she was constantly having doubts in fights and verbally stating them, so I mentioned that it would be best if we split. She asked what that meant, and I told her the connection would be severed. It causes massive fear of me leaving and writing off the entire relationship and not caring about them. Manipulated me in to staying. This also included a small reaction to me going on a hike without them, not telling them about it until the end of the day and that I didn't share pictures they concluded in their mind that I wasn't a part of their life. This also included getting a remote job in lieu of shift rotation work and a whole reaction of how I did not consider them in this decision for a 'remote position'. Despite my attempts to clarify I wasn't leaving and that the flexibility in my work schedule will allow me to see them often, they were upset because I did not check in with their work schedule and that they would be upset if they took a job in Texas. Note the word remote.. not moving.
Second:
Yes, minor infractions such as using words like “it's okay” and “everything good,” a missed phone, and not sharing pictures from my IG in lieu of sending them directly to her. Constant splitting on friends from they're horrible, to their the best friends ever. Questionable friend circle
Third:
Yes I saw her angry tantrums especially over text directed at her siblings and me. To her co-workers and others, she was angel
Fourth:
Often this happen.. including over a text conversation that I camly exited because she was being aggressive and rude. Despite my attempts to calm and ask for clarity so we could talk, she continued so I left. She then pleaded with me not to leave and kept calling me. Often lashing out as if I am the most uncaring partner and I do not care to her telling me that she misses me to not wanting to see me to her crying that I did not come and see her when she was struggling. Lots of push/pull dynamics
This and other subs that ask for advice. There was always the “but I love him/her” ,”he/she wasn't always like this”, or make excuses for their disgusting behavior. Sometimes people can't be reasoned with until they take off the rose colored glasses.
But she chose him in the end even if he wasn't her first choice and they weren't dating.
She made mistake she apologized and she's loyal in relationship. Punishing her for a minor mistake would be dumb and yes that is a minor mistake since she wasn't cheating.
Yall need to Grey rock this motherfker and his parents, refuse entry and refuse to entertain any conversation about it.
He is so infantile. I'd be tempted to let him in and just completely ignore him, give him no attention, no seat at a table and just completely don't react.
People sometimes do take a year off for depression. Especially back in the 60s, treatments were not as good as they are today, and may even have gone more along Freudian lines, depending who she got treatment with. If she was hospitalized, it could have gone on a while, or she could simply have missed enough school that it would make more sense to take the whole year and start off fresh next year.
But suppose she did have a baby.
Should you ask her about it? My own practice has been not to make someone uncomfortable just to satisfy my own curiosity. So I would say no. Or you can gently ask her about the year of school she missed and ask why – but don't push it, if she doesn't seem willing to talk about it.
My honest take on this is that your dad talked you out of marrying her. Maybe he invited you to go drinking with him so he could talk to you about it. Sounds like he gave you a comparison of his first and second marriage. Could be that he didn’t put in the effort with his first marriage that he should have. Maybe you should get your mom’s take on it and ask her views on the situation before you believe everything your dad tells you.
Either that or you were already looking for a way to end it and your dad gave you his support so now you’re ready to do it. Somehow, something that two drunk men decided was the right course doesn’t necessarily seem like a good plan.
You say she’s a great woman and you’re lucky to have her. You have a child on the way. I hate to burst your bubble, but romantic feelings come and go. Love is not a feeling. Love is a verb. You decide to love someone and to be there through thick and thin, for better or worse. You don’t take off cause you’re not feeling it. There will be lots of days you’re not feeling it. And other days you will. You make a commitment and a decision to love her through all the days, good and bad.
thank u for warning me, but i dont think theyre a scammer 🙂