At first he was mad he went through his phone because we dont ever do that, but he quickly changed his tune and told me he doesn’t blame me for doing it. He was hiding something and I found out what it was. He said he was embarrassed about it and apparently “didnt know how to bring it up”.
I think you need to be clear and concise and to the point. Be assertive but respectful to your relationship. Stand up for yourself without necessarily putting him down.
Make your intentions clear.
If the dynamic of your relationship is to block exs that’s fine, that’s your prerogative. But it cannot be one sided, he needs to go no contact and block his ex.
If he says anything other than okay, then you need to bring up the double standard. If he still isn’t budging then just lean into this shit and get petty. Pettiness isn’t the best move BUT it makes shit clear quick.
If he won’t block his ex, then you unblock your ex.
If he isn’t attracted to his ex, then neither were you.
If he has clothing that he wears from an ex that bothers you, time to whip out that hoodie from the past.
Again, not advised to be petty but as a last resort sort of move it can work.
But I would try open communication with him first.
Have you tried the French maid giving a sloppy blowjob? Yeah, in bad taste. I know but outside of working your way through the Kama Sutra I think only kinky stuff is all that’s left. I hear that some people prefer dungeons with a tasteful assortment of whips, chains and leather accoutrements but that is not for the faint hearted.
LEAVE I can’t give you more advice, she and her family are the most toxic family I’ve seen, you are not married so there shouldn’t be any problems, she treats you like shi and you did nothing wrong, just being a good bf, please, for your own sake, leave her
half of the messages to and from have been deleted
Find out if only the messages with Ashley were deleted.
especially if they’re gifs or pictures
Are the gifs or pictures pertains to the messages with Ashley? Why though if the contact should only be about babysitting.
Look for old messages with gifs or pictures. If they’re still there and not deleted, then you knew that the messages with her with intentionally deleted.
How is he paying for the babysitter? Out of his pocket or family funds? If he cannot accept that what he did is wrong, you have a husband who’s careless about the security of your kids and does not respect your opinion.
Definitely talk to her, let her know your interested and that your wondering if she still is. Just be clear about how your feeling, and be clear with her (and honest with yourself!!!!) on if your willing to wait for someone working through med school, because that is a huge investment and will mean she has limited time for you right now. If you can wait for her, fabulous, if not, it’s not fair to make her feel crappy for prioritizing her schooling that is going to dictate her future.
16 is leagal in the UK, it was 13 in Japan (now 16). These aren't backwards nations either, both first world countries with advanced economies.
The US has a pretty puritan idea of what an “adult” is, most other countries have lower ages of consents than the USA. These countries aren't wrong because of that.
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I feel like your problems do have their reason and if you can;t even explain whatthey are you might need couples therapy.
Alternatively if problems start arise seemingly without a reason, it is because one party is trying to sabotage relationship. Most commonly, because they have some other person they want to get with. After all it is easier to break up already disfunctional relationship so why not make it disfunctional first? Could it be what is happening here?
Anways should be able to properly ocnverse with your partner to get to bottom of your issues it would be much easier. You should just look for a common part of your arguments or that they have no sensible reason at all and then come forth with your thoughs to her. This would reveal either your problems as relationship, your problems as a partner, her issues or that issues are made up and she is sabotaging. If it's beyoind you,then ask her to come with you to couples therapy, because you want to stay with her and repair your relationship.
Sorry dude. You’re experiencing denial atm. This will pass. The comment below is correct though. Your wife made a conscience choice to destroy all your lives, have sex with another man while neglecting her child and giving you the big fuck off. Staying with her is not being strong; it’s being weak unfortunately. Being strong is putting your children’s future ahead of her terrible life choices that she will make again, and getting courage to leave, find a new person that respects you that your kids can admire while seeing you happy again.
Make no mistake, if you stay you and your kids will never be truly happy.
Really sorry dude. Your emotions are all over the map. Stay strong; put your self respect out front.
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And that is your right, all have you to do is find someone who is compatible to you in this regard. People have different preferences, some want a big family while some want to be alone, some want to live in big cities, some want solitude and peace and quiet, some like warm places while some like colder places, some people have food preferences while some eat anything. Will you say it doesnt make sense to you that people have personal preference in how they want to lead their life?
You gotta go, bro. She’s not treating you like an equal partner. You’re her placeholder bf until she gets another one, or get backs with the last one. I dated someone like this and it ruined my self esteem.
You have a lot to bring to a romantic partner, so you need to hold your standards high even if it takes a while to find one. You are not wrong for wanting to feel affection and reciprocation in your relationship. Don’t let her make you think you’re not worthy of her love. These are things I wish I was told when I was deep into it.
I finally ended it one day. Few years later I met my partner and I have everything I’ve ever wanted in a relationship. Leave now.
This is going to be one of those situations in which after breaking up for wanting to polyamorous the forme part wants to get back together. It happens all the time
“It makes me wildly uncomfortable that you’re completely fine with being naked in front of a bunch of other people and didn’t even bring it to my attention…..” and then let her talk.
Why do you feel like you have to be locked in to a relationship forever at 22? I found my husband at 19 but he was the first guy I didn’t feel bored with at some point.
You’re young and I think maybe you need a little more experience before you settle down for the rest of your life. I think this is your brain telling you if you don’t explore now you may regret/ resent not doing it later.
There were also pictures of her from Snapchat saying “I ❤️ you” and a few pictures saved. I would call that cheating the screenshot was very direct. I think we’ve had a good relationship but I don’t think I can be with someone who lies to my face when all I’ve been is understanding of his past relationships
If you can't cry in front of your friends or significant other than that is their problem, not yours. Crying is natural and healthy. Only fools think otherwise.
I think that’s weird. My mom does this. She also steals food off plates without asking. We don’t go out very often.
Does he have trouble reading other social situations? Like for my mom, idk wtf why this is like her weird quirk. She’s not cringe in other situations. So we just kinda have to accept it and moderate accordingly by not going out to dinner a lot. We tend to order in more often.
If he’s like this in other social situations tho it’s probably just a personality incompatibility. Is it cringe? Sure but people also have a right to be themselves, even if it goes against mainstream social etiquette norms.
The only other thing I can think of to suggest, is that you both look at how over imbibing alcohol reduced his willingness to stop and your ability to stop him. I’m not saying to quit everything fun…just to look at the amount of fun you’re having and your ability to remain in control of situations.
If there is a general trend of irresponsibility after alcohol, then you need to reassess how much of a role it takes in your social and relaxation time.
OP is being shit on in the comments but to be honest I get it. I am physically fit as well and would not settle for someone who isn’t. It’s all in preferences. OPs preferences changed, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Y’all can stay mad
Her friend literally said she saw it. And her manager absolutely was there for that reason. Rubbing her neck? He knew what he was doing and he did it. He even said they slept in the same bed.
Even if your gf didn’t have sex she absolutely has a thing for him and she ability wants to have sex with him.
She’s not being honest with you. Everyone around her is telling you the truth. Her firmed even said she saw them making out. What else do you want to hear? Just leave her dude
NGL I can't wrap my head around the open relationship thing, but that's just me, I get that there are lots of ways to be compassionate and happy in a romantic relationship.
How in tune with the open relationship thing would you say your SO is? Does he engage with other people as well?
At the end of the day, if he says he's good, I'd accept it and move forward being fully transparent and honest with each other and being fastidious in maintaining your boundaries/agreements. As another poster said, consider reducing or eliminating the booze if it is a catalyst to stepping outside those boundaries. It is not an excuse.
That makes things more difficult. Try to consciously get different hobbies. Purposely go to different gyms or hike by yourself. If the area is safe and you’re feeling moody go for a walk . When I’m with my gf for long periods of time I go for long walks at the track or sit in my car
He's not going to change and if anything, will just get worse. you find his behavior disrespectful, and I would too, if I were you. You've told him this and he refuses to do anything about it. He said that he will “keep it in mind”?? no he won't. I'd leave this loser behind.
I’d imagine if the roles were reversed, people would say he is creepy and perverted and you should leave him. Just stop. He doesn’t like them and you don’t need to dig into it psychologically. He has a right to not want them.
Why at at the grown ass age of 24 years old would you find a 16 year old CHILD attractive? I don’t give a shit about the age of consent, that’s intended for teens to not get in trouble for being intimate with other teens. Fucking disgusting dude.
Okay, you said you'll be honest. Do you ever get angry or upset at her in the moment when she rejects your advances? Do you make faces, huff, scoff, give her the silent treatment, complain, whine, guilt trip, scream, or anything like that? Take a moment and reflect honestly and openly about your experiences with her. Because if you do act that way and your response in the moment isn't to immediately back away and make sure she feels safe and comfortable and respected, then I'm betting she doesn't feel like she's allowed to say no to you. And that is not attractive nor sexy. In fact, behavior like that is sexual coercion which is a form of sexual assault.
Even if the above doesn't apply, the amount of anger you have towards this situation and her is not healthy for either of you and you should at the very least take a break from each other for a few months to get perspective.
I’ll tell you this. It’s not for everyone. Talk about it after, really sit on it and think. Make sure if one person doesn’t enjoy it, that your first time is the last time. Other than that I think it’s a fun experience.
You're going to get a lot of encouraging comments. But I predict your relationship will become unstable and will not last another 2 years. And I'm likely going to get down voted heavily. Good luck
You're a disgrace. You are rehoming your daughter like an unwanted puppy because you found a new penis you want to play happy families with? Shame on you.
So, you either has a partner who thinks your actually stupid, and continue to correct you even after he himself being continuisly wrong about it. Or you have a partner that knows that when he does this it makes you feel a bit crazy and question your own intelligence on purpose.
Either he is an idiot who cant understand that UK and US have different pronounciations, or he does it to make you question your sanity. So either way he is being an arse by knowingly messing with your head after you told him several times, and still he refuses to change, but if he is otherwise an intelligent man, I would worry its the latter.
Omg don’t flip the switch and get angry at them!! People like this are the worst. And they are far more likely to end their relationships with you if you do this.
Send your daughter a heartfelt letter with your wedding gift? ‘I know you’re angry with me and hurt right now…
Acknowledge her feelings Explain how much you love and care Explain your wife had an emergency c section which can be really dangerous (to your wife) and terrifying (potential of losing the baby). Explain your wife is angry with you too and considering leaving. Still apologise to your daughter. Say how much you are hurting that you could not be there. Say how proud of her you are and how much you love and care for her and that no one will ever replace her- she’ll always be your little girl. Say something nice about her new husband.
Make it really heart felt. Wait a couple of weeks before you send it so she has a change to process her emotions and can enjoy her honeymoon / the first couple of weeks of marriage.
With your wife- prioritise her. The next few months is going to be HARD for her. Do everything you can to take the pressure off your wife and show her how much you love and support her and the baby. Apologise.
It think it will be ok eventually. Try and book in some therapy for yourself as well and prioritise self care when you aren’t prioritising your wife and the baby.
Are they into each other? I can say from personal experience it's better if everyone is into everyone vs them taking turns and watching when not their turn.
With that said, I think it's risky. You never really know how people will feel after it happens. Two people can have very different imaginations on how things would go down and even the slightest deviation from the script can offend someone.
For example, maybe for your wife kissing would be off limits and you kiss her friend without thinking about it and suddenly the entire encounter is tainted. Or your wife falls asleep and wakes up finding you and her friend continuing and suddenly you weren't allowed to do that because she was asleep and therefore it was like you did it behind her back. Or maybe some position is both of yours special position and seeing you use it with another women violates some trust.
These kind of opinion differences are nearly impossible to entirely nail down ahead of time and then become major violations that can leave one partner feeling betrayed.
I had a partner get upset that the orgasms I was giving the other woman were too strong. To me that was a good thing, to her that was over some line she had. It came down to my partner only imagining me being pleased by another woman, not the woman being pleased by me.
You are talking like this is a business arrangement.
You have to decide if you are a wife and partner and mother, or if you are getting paid to be a nanny/maid/hooker/housekeep. What is it??? If you are the latter, it's a very bad deal to get paid 60,000 for THAT.
Also, I seriously doubt he would get custody of the kids if you divorce. His schedule is a mess and he is on call all the time. He won't be able to get full custody and maybe not even 50% since he doesn't want nannies involved. So you might have more power here than you think.
Time to bounce, a mature woman knows not to be the first to mention size, just like a mature guy knows not to be the first to mention her size. Even if she never spoke of it again the dread won't go away. It seems like she wants a break up so give her what she wants.
The thing that comes to mind is it might help to imagine what it must have been like to be raised by her. She had to have done a crazy number on him, so his perception of normal interactions when it comes to her are horribly skewed.
I think attempting to “fix family” is more often a loosing cause than a winning one. Unfortunately. I really struggled to accept this for the longest time. Now I have 3 state separating us. Distance has advantages.
Threatening suicide is an abuse tactic. Her mental health is not your responsibility. If she does it, that’s on her and her only.
Thanks for the update
ok thx for the reply
At first he was mad he went through his phone because we dont ever do that, but he quickly changed his tune and told me he doesn’t blame me for doing it. He was hiding something and I found out what it was. He said he was embarrassed about it and apparently “didnt know how to bring it up”.
Do you date people because of their appearance?
I think you need to be clear and concise and to the point. Be assertive but respectful to your relationship. Stand up for yourself without necessarily putting him down.
Make your intentions clear.
If the dynamic of your relationship is to block exs that’s fine, that’s your prerogative. But it cannot be one sided, he needs to go no contact and block his ex.
If he says anything other than okay, then you need to bring up the double standard. If he still isn’t budging then just lean into this shit and get petty. Pettiness isn’t the best move BUT it makes shit clear quick.
If he won’t block his ex, then you unblock your ex.
If he isn’t attracted to his ex, then neither were you.
If he has clothing that he wears from an ex that bothers you, time to whip out that hoodie from the past.
Again, not advised to be petty but as a last resort sort of move it can work.
But I would try open communication with him first.
Is this on Cinemax late night? Or on lifetimes channel!! ? ?
You can let him know that you’ve found a way to drop 100 pounds fast on your way out. ?
Have you tried the French maid giving a sloppy blowjob? Yeah, in bad taste. I know but outside of working your way through the Kama Sutra I think only kinky stuff is all that’s left. I hear that some people prefer dungeons with a tasteful assortment of whips, chains and leather accoutrements but that is not for the faint hearted.
LEAVE I can’t give you more advice, she and her family are the most toxic family I’ve seen, you are not married so there shouldn’t be any problems, she treats you like shi and you did nothing wrong, just being a good bf, please, for your own sake, leave her
How often would you say this happens?
At my age I really don't give a shit if you listen to what I have to share or not.
I have been counseling since before you were born and I know that most
of the time stupid kids like you won't listen to anything at all.
If you knew so damn much you wouldn't be out on Social Media looking
for someone else to answer your questions………….. dumbshit.
then why my COCK get hard when see them? ??
half of the messages to and from have been deleted
Find out if only the messages with Ashley were deleted.
especially if they’re gifs or pictures
Are the gifs or pictures pertains to the messages with Ashley? Why though if the contact should only be about babysitting.
Look for old messages with gifs or pictures. If they’re still there and not deleted, then you knew that the messages with her with intentionally deleted.
How is he paying for the babysitter? Out of his pocket or family funds? If he cannot accept that what he did is wrong, you have a husband who’s careless about the security of your kids and does not respect your opinion.
he was 26 and you were 18 and immediately had kids????
Definitely talk to her, let her know your interested and that your wondering if she still is. Just be clear about how your feeling, and be clear with her (and honest with yourself!!!!) on if your willing to wait for someone working through med school, because that is a huge investment and will mean she has limited time for you right now. If you can wait for her, fabulous, if not, it’s not fair to make her feel crappy for prioritizing her schooling that is going to dictate her future.
No, that’s the time we’ve been together
Alrighty, well first I'd recommend working out if you actually want to be in a relationship with this woman?
After that you work out what impact a baby has. Whether yours or not.
If the affair actually happened.
And again this is about OP and her bf, and the bf is still supporting a cheater.
This is what the rest of your life will look like if you stay together.
16 is leagal in the UK, it was 13 in Japan (now 16). These aren't backwards nations either, both first world countries with advanced economies.
The US has a pretty puritan idea of what an “adult” is, most other countries have lower ages of consents than the USA. These countries aren't wrong because of that.
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I feel like your problems do have their reason and if you can;t even explain whatthey are you might need couples therapy.
Alternatively if problems start arise seemingly without a reason, it is because one party is trying to sabotage relationship. Most commonly, because they have some other person they want to get with. After all it is easier to break up already disfunctional relationship so why not make it disfunctional first? Could it be what is happening here?
Anways should be able to properly ocnverse with your partner to get to bottom of your issues it would be much easier. You should just look for a common part of your arguments or that they have no sensible reason at all and then come forth with your thoughs to her. This would reveal either your problems as relationship, your problems as a partner, her issues or that issues are made up and she is sabotaging. If it's beyoind you,then ask her to come with you to couples therapy, because you want to stay with her and repair your relationship.
Sorry dude. You’re experiencing denial atm. This will pass. The comment below is correct though. Your wife made a conscience choice to destroy all your lives, have sex with another man while neglecting her child and giving you the big fuck off. Staying with her is not being strong; it’s being weak unfortunately. Being strong is putting your children’s future ahead of her terrible life choices that she will make again, and getting courage to leave, find a new person that respects you that your kids can admire while seeing you happy again.
Make no mistake, if you stay you and your kids will never be truly happy.
Really sorry dude. Your emotions are all over the map. Stay strong; put your self respect out front.
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And that is your right, all have you to do is find someone who is compatible to you in this regard. People have different preferences, some want a big family while some want to be alone, some want to live in big cities, some want solitude and peace and quiet, some like warm places while some like colder places, some people have food preferences while some eat anything. Will you say it doesnt make sense to you that people have personal preference in how they want to lead their life?
You gotta go, bro. She’s not treating you like an equal partner. You’re her placeholder bf until she gets another one, or get backs with the last one. I dated someone like this and it ruined my self esteem.
You have a lot to bring to a romantic partner, so you need to hold your standards high even if it takes a while to find one. You are not wrong for wanting to feel affection and reciprocation in your relationship. Don’t let her make you think you’re not worthy of her love. These are things I wish I was told when I was deep into it.
I finally ended it one day. Few years later I met my partner and I have everything I’ve ever wanted in a relationship. Leave now.
You say the thing you did is unforgivable and she won’t forgive you. Move on. She doesn’t want to be with you anymore.
This is going to be one of those situations in which after breaking up for wanting to polyamorous the forme part wants to get back together. It happens all the time
You do realize that this fucking guy has KILLED ALL OF YOUR DOGS, right? This is so sick, I just….can’t.
Please, get out. You, not your pup, are safe around him.
You do realize that this fucking guy has KILLED ALL OF YOUR DOGS, right? This is so sick, I just….can’t.
Please, get out. You, not your pup, are safe around him.
“It makes me wildly uncomfortable that you’re completely fine with being naked in front of a bunch of other people and didn’t even bring it to my attention…..” and then let her talk.
I think it'll be pretty easy for your kids to cut you off when they see how cold hearted you are. Good luck with life sis, you're gonna need it.
Please seek individual therapy that may eventually turn in to marriage counseling.
Why do you feel like you have to be locked in to a relationship forever at 22? I found my husband at 19 but he was the first guy I didn’t feel bored with at some point.
You’re young and I think maybe you need a little more experience before you settle down for the rest of your life. I think this is your brain telling you if you don’t explore now you may regret/ resent not doing it later.
Have you communicated this to her? Because it doesn’t sound like it.
Are you sure it's not fiction?
Lool!
Oy vey. The layers…
There were also pictures of her from Snapchat saying “I ❤️ you” and a few pictures saved. I would call that cheating the screenshot was very direct. I think we’ve had a good relationship but I don’t think I can be with someone who lies to my face when all I’ve been is understanding of his past relationships
If you can't cry in front of your friends or significant other than that is their problem, not yours. Crying is natural and healthy. Only fools think otherwise.
I think that’s weird. My mom does this. She also steals food off plates without asking. We don’t go out very often.
Does he have trouble reading other social situations? Like for my mom, idk wtf why this is like her weird quirk. She’s not cringe in other situations. So we just kinda have to accept it and moderate accordingly by not going out to dinner a lot. We tend to order in more often.
If he’s like this in other social situations tho it’s probably just a personality incompatibility. Is it cringe? Sure but people also have a right to be themselves, even if it goes against mainstream social etiquette norms.
The only other thing I can think of to suggest, is that you both look at how over imbibing alcohol reduced his willingness to stop and your ability to stop him. I’m not saying to quit everything fun…just to look at the amount of fun you’re having and your ability to remain in control of situations.
If there is a general trend of irresponsibility after alcohol, then you need to reassess how much of a role it takes in your social and relaxation time.
OP is being shit on in the comments but to be honest I get it. I am physically fit as well and would not settle for someone who isn’t. It’s all in preferences. OPs preferences changed, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Y’all can stay mad
Dude she absolutely cheated on you
Her friend literally said she saw it. And her manager absolutely was there for that reason. Rubbing her neck? He knew what he was doing and he did it. He even said they slept in the same bed.
Even if your gf didn’t have sex she absolutely has a thing for him and she ability wants to have sex with him.
She’s not being honest with you. Everyone around her is telling you the truth. Her firmed even said she saw them making out. What else do you want to hear? Just leave her dude
You should ask her again in person how she would like you to express how much you value her. Are you attracted to her sexually or romantically at all?
Ahhh you are right, definitely not white lies. I think I'm just trying to make sense of it ? I'll be open about it and see what he says.
Being bi isn't an excuse to cheat or being a nymphomaniac isn't an excuse to cheat. He's a grown man, not an animal.
Break up already
It’s a red flag for both of you.
He needs to hopefully have the strength to understand that your red flags maybe deal breakers for him. Hopefully he is strong enough to let you go.
There is nothing wrong with you , just that you probably are not for him.
No blame? She wants to break up but shouldered him with the responsibility.
I'm sorry for all the things that had happened to you. You need to leave her. If anything, she's the one who needs to make it right to you.
She's horrible for saying you manipulated her when it was her who kept pushing you to talk. What a POS.
NGL I can't wrap my head around the open relationship thing, but that's just me, I get that there are lots of ways to be compassionate and happy in a romantic relationship.
How in tune with the open relationship thing would you say your SO is? Does he engage with other people as well?
At the end of the day, if he says he's good, I'd accept it and move forward being fully transparent and honest with each other and being fastidious in maintaining your boundaries/agreements. As another poster said, consider reducing or eliminating the booze if it is a catalyst to stepping outside those boundaries. It is not an excuse.
Shhh, don't let the AI know that it's made a glaring errors
That makes things more difficult. Try to consciously get different hobbies. Purposely go to different gyms or hike by yourself. If the area is safe and you’re feeling moody go for a walk . When I’m with my gf for long periods of time I go for long walks at the track or sit in my car
He's not going to change and if anything, will just get worse. you find his behavior disrespectful, and I would too, if I were you. You've told him this and he refuses to do anything about it. He said that he will “keep it in mind”?? no he won't. I'd leave this loser behind.
I’d imagine if the roles were reversed, people would say he is creepy and perverted and you should leave him. Just stop. He doesn’t like them and you don’t need to dig into it psychologically. He has a right to not want them.
His logic that it took a long time for you to get pregnant does noooot match up with the fact you had your little one at 16!
Have a bath together. If you're not comfy, wear your swimsuit.
The ice WILL break.
He doesn't know what he's doing either.
Have you voiced your concerns? If not you need to. See how she reacts, and go from there.
Right? Never in my life would I bring my child into a situation that soon.
that’s not even right…
What is there even to be insecure about? She wants saying “omg, I'd ride that perfect thing all.night” or anything like that.
she knows I can be sexually insecure.
Thats not her responsibility to manage. It's yours. None of this conversation had anything to do with you, but you've made it about you.
I have a pixel. Never get notifications like that.
Why at at the grown ass age of 24 years old would you find a 16 year old CHILD attractive? I don’t give a shit about the age of consent, that’s intended for teens to not get in trouble for being intimate with other teens. Fucking disgusting dude.
Okay, you said you'll be honest. Do you ever get angry or upset at her in the moment when she rejects your advances? Do you make faces, huff, scoff, give her the silent treatment, complain, whine, guilt trip, scream, or anything like that? Take a moment and reflect honestly and openly about your experiences with her. Because if you do act that way and your response in the moment isn't to immediately back away and make sure she feels safe and comfortable and respected, then I'm betting she doesn't feel like she's allowed to say no to you. And that is not attractive nor sexy. In fact, behavior like that is sexual coercion which is a form of sexual assault.
Even if the above doesn't apply, the amount of anger you have towards this situation and her is not healthy for either of you and you should at the very least take a break from each other for a few months to get perspective.
It's definitely a fetish.
Asians are a small part of the population.
No way in hell he has just run into only Asian girls without seeking them out for being Asian specifically.
That means he is befriending them for being Asian.
The fact that he only has photos of himself or him with Asian women and no one else always point to fetishihg.
No way in hell you can manage to not posy anyone else unless you're going out of your way.
Run. Don't look back. This will end poorly for you.
I’ll tell you this. It’s not for everyone. Talk about it after, really sit on it and think. Make sure if one person doesn’t enjoy it, that your first time is the last time. Other than that I think it’s a fun experience.
Move on. It's that simple.
You're going to get a lot of encouraging comments. But I predict your relationship will become unstable and will not last another 2 years. And I'm likely going to get down voted heavily. Good luck
You should still talk to her because it’ll give you closure.
Hear her out, see what kind of nonsensical hole she digs herself into in trying to explain it, and then peace out.
It’ll eat her alive from the nerves of having to meet you and then do the mental gymnastics of having to explain something that is clearly her fault.
You're a disgrace. You are rehoming your daughter like an unwanted puppy because you found a new penis you want to play happy families with? Shame on you.
So, you either has a partner who thinks your actually stupid, and continue to correct you even after he himself being continuisly wrong about it. Or you have a partner that knows that when he does this it makes you feel a bit crazy and question your own intelligence on purpose.
Either he is an idiot who cant understand that UK and US have different pronounciations, or he does it to make you question your sanity. So either way he is being an arse by knowingly messing with your head after you told him several times, and still he refuses to change, but if he is otherwise an intelligent man, I would worry its the latter.
It seems like his stupid way of holding some form of power over you
A different exam? Yes, there are so many to choose from when visiting a gynecologist. Glad you picked the sexy fun enjoyable one. Troll
Correct, he is raping you.
He’s a great man
No, sorry, he absolutely is not.
I am usually all about honesty. “I like you but I am getting some bad vibes and I am not feeling it. Peace.”
Omg don’t flip the switch and get angry at them!! People like this are the worst. And they are far more likely to end their relationships with you if you do this.
Send your daughter a heartfelt letter with your wedding gift? ‘I know you’re angry with me and hurt right now…
Acknowledge her feelings Explain how much you love and care Explain your wife had an emergency c section which can be really dangerous (to your wife) and terrifying (potential of losing the baby). Explain your wife is angry with you too and considering leaving. Still apologise to your daughter. Say how much you are hurting that you could not be there. Say how proud of her you are and how much you love and care for her and that no one will ever replace her- she’ll always be your little girl. Say something nice about her new husband.
Make it really heart felt. Wait a couple of weeks before you send it so she has a change to process her emotions and can enjoy her honeymoon / the first couple of weeks of marriage.
With your wife- prioritise her. The next few months is going to be HARD for her. Do everything you can to take the pressure off your wife and show her how much you love and support her and the baby. Apologise.
It think it will be ok eventually. Try and book in some therapy for yourself as well and prioritise self care when you aren’t prioritising your wife and the baby.
Good luck
Are they into each other? I can say from personal experience it's better if everyone is into everyone vs them taking turns and watching when not their turn.
With that said, I think it's risky. You never really know how people will feel after it happens. Two people can have very different imaginations on how things would go down and even the slightest deviation from the script can offend someone.
For example, maybe for your wife kissing would be off limits and you kiss her friend without thinking about it and suddenly the entire encounter is tainted. Or your wife falls asleep and wakes up finding you and her friend continuing and suddenly you weren't allowed to do that because she was asleep and therefore it was like you did it behind her back. Or maybe some position is both of yours special position and seeing you use it with another women violates some trust.
These kind of opinion differences are nearly impossible to entirely nail down ahead of time and then become major violations that can leave one partner feeling betrayed.
I had a partner get upset that the orgasms I was giving the other woman were too strong. To me that was a good thing, to her that was over some line she had. It came down to my partner only imagining me being pleased by another woman, not the woman being pleased by me.
Yeah but isn't this what I signed up/agreed to?
You are talking like this is a business arrangement.
You have to decide if you are a wife and partner and mother, or if you are getting paid to be a nanny/maid/hooker/housekeep. What is it??? If you are the latter, it's a very bad deal to get paid 60,000 for THAT.
Also, I seriously doubt he would get custody of the kids if you divorce. His schedule is a mess and he is on call all the time. He won't be able to get full custody and maybe not even 50% since he doesn't want nannies involved. So you might have more power here than you think.
He has kissed another woman once …
Time to bounce, a mature woman knows not to be the first to mention size, just like a mature guy knows not to be the first to mention her size. Even if she never spoke of it again the dread won't go away. It seems like she wants a break up so give her what she wants.
How?
Yeah I'd put my foot down on that. That's some bs
How long usually does it take, I'm soo anxious rn she just goes with her friends
Call a lawyer, set up a co-parenting agreement that you're both happy with
Don't punish the baby or take away his rights as a father because you two aren't on good terms
The thing that comes to mind is it might help to imagine what it must have been like to be raised by her. She had to have done a crazy number on him, so his perception of normal interactions when it comes to her are horribly skewed.
I think attempting to “fix family” is more often a loosing cause than a winning one. Unfortunately. I really struggled to accept this for the longest time. Now I have 3 state separating us. Distance has advantages.
5 months together?
TLDR anyone?
nah man she a goner, dont waste time and energy on cheaters
Your dog is warning you about this man. All his red flags are warning you about this man. You’ve been with one abuser – don’t fall for another.
you are young. you don't need a girlfriend right now enjoy your game and work on yourself.