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  1. Sorry this happened. She probably would have never said anything, but she was trying to get ahead of it because this dudes gf was going scorched earth. You would have definitely been contacted by her to tell you that your fiance cheated on you.

    I can't tell you what to do. Some people are able to get over infidelity, some are not. For me, I'd have to seriously reconsider everything. I would have to consider if I could still be myself with her. Would you be looking over your shoulder? Would you have to continually check her messages? Would you have to alter your general trusting nature of her? Then you have to live with the fact that people will know she cheated on you.

    The biggest takeaway though is based on your timeline it sounds like you were together for nearly 3 years when she cheated. It wasn't like she cheated on you 3 months into a relationship or even 6. That's years of time you invested into your relationship and she cheated on you.

    For me I know what I would do. You have to do what's best for you though.

  2. Did you set him up? – Kind of, but his reaction wasn't okay.

    So, if you wanted him to lie and be like, “You have the tits of a 22 year old” that's unrealistic, and if he's an honest person, then you're only hurting yourself.

    However!

    There's a way of being honest without being hurtful or rude.

    He could have said, “Yeah, I'm sure your boobs were different before you had your child, but bodies change, and that's okay. You haven't got the perkiest boobs in the world, but I like you as you are, and you offer much more than your body” if he'd have reacted like that then it's honest and reassuring, which ultimately is the kind of response partners should be giving to each other.

  3. Did you set him up? – Kind of, but his reaction wasn't okay.

    So, if you wanted him to lie and be like, “You have the tits of a 22 year old” that's unrealistic, and if he's an honest person, then you're only hurting yourself.

    However!

    There's a way of being honest without being hurtful or rude.

    He could have said, “Yeah, I'm sure your boobs were different before you had your child, but bodies change, and that's okay. You haven't got the perkiest boobs in the world, but I like you as you are, and you offer much more than your body” if he'd have reacted like that then it's honest and reassuring, which ultimately is the kind of response partners should be giving to each other.

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