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my pleasure. take things day by day, for now.
your safety comes first– you can think further about this situation once that's squared away.
We just talked about how she was trying her best to help her sister with this guy
Right. Yeah, I'll talk to him about it for sure. Thank you 🙂
The “three date rule” or the “five day rule” are thankfully not observed by most. Long before someone felt the need to title this “demisexual” it was just considered “normal” to want to have some emotional connection to a person before having sex with them. You're entitled to your standards and it's actually a good way to see if the other person is on the same wavelength as you are. It's no loss to date for a while then get dumped because you won't have sex before you're ready. The people willing to wait are the ones worth getting to know.
I have a very dear friend in what sounds like an identical situation and I'll say the same thing here that I said when we were talking, if you can't stomach the though of doing this for the rest of your life, get out now. It can and does get better, you don't have to stay.
Sounds like you need to work on being ok with what you did.
That is nor crazy, no one is going to tell you that. Just think about it for a moment. Lets say, in a former relationship, the police showed up because you were beating your boyfriend. I know how this sounds but this is an actual person I know. Would you share that with people you are having relationships with. Probably not.
The question is, has he fixed whatever made him that way. It is certainly scary and you guys might want to see a therapist to help each other navigate this relationship.
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You may want to end the relationship because he was not up front about his past, that is reasonable. It would be a shame to end a possible very good relationship if he has changed, however, you can not put yourself in danger because you might be thinking that.
I am not saying he didn't behave poorly. But there is no way all of that would justify cheating. There isn't even a scale.
Instead of breaking up or talking about the situation she went looking for attention. It's not about empathy, I can understand being alone in an unfamiliar place, but she chose to mess it up.