See a lawyer and file for Child Support. The lawyer will tell him. And be prepared, he will probably ask for a DNA test. And I think that is reasonable. Then collect every penny whether or not you need it. If nothing else it will pay for your LO’s higher education. He deserves to know and pay his share.
Having depression is not an excuse for not functioning like an adult. It’s a reason – but at what point does it stop being an explanation and start being an excuse.
It’s noble that you want to help her – but it sounds like you’re enabling her. If you truly want to make it work, you need to set boundaries and keep them. If she also wants the relationship, she will step up and put in effort. No one is saying she needs to be perfect – but at least try. If she doesn’t – you need to move on, since that lets you know she doesn’t respect you or the relationship.
If I didn't tell her its a problem I don't think she would notice, but it is definitely a problem. I was doing the same thing for so long, just hoping that she would change one day. She's open to therapy but it's one of those problems that we only have in the moment when she's drunk.
It’s an early relationship and I can see how it would be hard for him to miss a family vacation for this. Just as I would have advised you not to miss your nephews birthday. Congrats on graduating, such an achievement! But I don’t think it’s relationship ending if he goes on this trip
It sounds like you're absolutely on the right track so try not to beat yourself up too much, you'll get there. I would just continue reiterating that you're unbelievably proud of him and that this is an unrelated personal thing you're working on that doesn't reflect on him at all. A new hobby might also be helpful, one that's all your own that you can gain some confidence in. It sounds like you have very high standards for yourself which is great, but it can really chip away at your self confidence over time.
Maybe the payroll period was off so he actually hasn't had a paycheck with his new rate of pay. The only time my ex-husband was sneaky with money is when he was going to buy me a big gift. Wait a few weeks and see what happens. If he's been a good guy give him the benefit of doubt.
I mean, if you're just trying to understand your husbands position: In his mind, there's no reason that Henry would call you up out of the blue without intentions of trying to rekindle things. There may not have been flirting now, but there would be flirting down the road since that is the comfortable type of relationship you 2 would fall back into.
That being said, that position reeks of insecurity and your actions are nothing to apologize for.
Who has to learn that they shouldn't talk about their wife like this? Who has to learn that they shouldn't let their “friends” talk about their wife like this?
Idk, this guy shows a complete lack of respect for the person he supposedly loves. Even if he could learn how to treat his wife, why would she want him after this?
See a lawyer and file for Child Support. The lawyer will tell him. And be prepared, he will probably ask for a DNA test. And I think that is reasonable. Then collect every penny whether or not you need it. If nothing else it will pay for your LO’s higher education. He deserves to know and pay his share.
probably because, to him, he's already gotten what he wanted. Some people suck like that.
Having depression is not an excuse for not functioning like an adult. It’s a reason – but at what point does it stop being an explanation and start being an excuse.
It’s noble that you want to help her – but it sounds like you’re enabling her. If you truly want to make it work, you need to set boundaries and keep them. If she also wants the relationship, she will step up and put in effort. No one is saying she needs to be perfect – but at least try. If she doesn’t – you need to move on, since that lets you know she doesn’t respect you or the relationship.
No you really like him… The feeling isn't mutual.
If I didn't tell her its a problem I don't think she would notice, but it is definitely a problem. I was doing the same thing for so long, just hoping that she would change one day. She's open to therapy but it's one of those problems that we only have in the moment when she's drunk.
It’s an early relationship and I can see how it would be hard for him to miss a family vacation for this. Just as I would have advised you not to miss your nephews birthday. Congrats on graduating, such an achievement! But I don’t think it’s relationship ending if he goes on this trip
It sounds like you're absolutely on the right track so try not to beat yourself up too much, you'll get there. I would just continue reiterating that you're unbelievably proud of him and that this is an unrelated personal thing you're working on that doesn't reflect on him at all. A new hobby might also be helpful, one that's all your own that you can gain some confidence in. It sounds like you have very high standards for yourself which is great, but it can really chip away at your self confidence over time.
Maybe the payroll period was off so he actually hasn't had a paycheck with his new rate of pay. The only time my ex-husband was sneaky with money is when he was going to buy me a big gift. Wait a few weeks and see what happens. If he's been a good guy give him the benefit of doubt.
I mean, if you're just trying to understand your husbands position: In his mind, there's no reason that Henry would call you up out of the blue without intentions of trying to rekindle things. There may not have been flirting now, but there would be flirting down the road since that is the comfortable type of relationship you 2 would fall back into.
That being said, that position reeks of insecurity and your actions are nothing to apologize for.
Learn? Huh?
Who has to learn that they shouldn't talk about their wife like this? Who has to learn that they shouldn't let their “friends” talk about their wife like this?
Idk, this guy shows a complete lack of respect for the person he supposedly loves. Even if he could learn how to treat his wife, why would she want him after this?