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Birth Date: 1997-02-02
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Date: September 29, 2022
girl it's only been 2 months and he's pulling this shit Get out while you still can. It's not going to get better
The OP fucked on the first date and solely wanted this fella around for sex..he can’t ask her to wash a shirt?
you both engaged, and suddely he is an asshole ?
really weird. how can it be ? it is as if one of you realized what marrying means at long term.
best advice you will have today : wait one more year before the wedding.
yeah, and men have never downplayed the negative experiences women have had caused by other men, so we should totally take his post at face value
He's not the one for you. He's flirting with other girls and I don't think he's ready for another relationship any time soon. Just be friends that's it.
IMO “trying your best” should be proceeding carefully and cautiously, not heedlessly diving in headfirst.
I was going to express a similar situation I had been through but I can’t now because unfortunately my ex did have a “belongs to the….. roads” attitude and that’s the TRUTH ..in fact that’s what she told ME about herself… with the “I guess I’m just …” but I’m probably in trouble for saying that much. Bottom line is this, starting over with an ex very seldom works out, and I’ve learned it by my own experience and also my Parents were married and divorced Twice from each other, the 2nd time was even worse than the first it was very violent. I think once someone is your ex you should not keep in contact nor should you even consider starting a new relationship with them. Just my opinion.
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Your boyfriend grosses me the fuck out. Only thing more pathetic than him is the fact thay you're atayong together with him.
Get away from this abusive cunt.
Do you maybe have any advice on what to say back to him if he calls me childish?
Not the projecting in the comments ?
People's past matters, sexual, behavioral, criminal past, achievements, successes, victories, psychological problems, good or bad. Redditors in the comments defend the cheater simply because she is a woman, if a man was the serial cheater, they would have said that you did the girlfriend a big favor. Cheaters gonna cheat.
Imagine not letting a woman know that her boyfriend SA to all his previous girlfriends because “it's not my business”.
Yes, honest it might be time to walk away. I mean if he's willing and you're willing you can try couples therapy, but a lot of people don't understand that when you do that, you both also should be going to individual therapy. Also at couples therapy things will come out that you never knew or thought of. But if that's not a solution then honest you might need to consider leaving.
You introduced them. You didn't force them to hook up. It's on your BIL and Ellie.
Perhaps he doesn’t have notifications on from the dating app and doesn’t want to turn them on (for good or bad reasons). I don’t have notifications on for any social media, so the fastest way to get a response from me is WhatsApp. Otherwise I won’t see it until I open the app. (My reason is productivity and social media doomscrolling)
I immediately thought of the menu lol
she sounds like an OP's friend pleaser
Muse likely she was surprised because you are quiet at work and never mentioned a gf.
Stop taking things as a personal insult.
Got no idea what her problem is but your best action is to leave her presence when she starts this. Make an escape plan and implement with blocking her everywhere, ghost. I had a gf once that used to jump up then lay out horizontally while airborne expecting me to catch her when I’d just got out of working all day. About the twentieth time (day) my back gave out and I couldn’t move for a week. It all comes down to childish behavior and you can’t fix it.
It's gross but I've known a ton of dudes who do that.
Ok so you don't think it's worth it. I understand you but I was not expecting those results. Do you think I should tell him to do the same without exposing our list (unless we both agreed) and see what happens on his end?
Don't hint because it'll continue like this in the future and now is a great opportunity to set your standards.
I'd say, “You asked me to save the date so I did, if we're not going out anywhere, we can wait until the weekend or something. I was excited when you'd first told me to, I thought we'd be celebrating properly.”
I mean bottom line is, you can try continuing and if you end up feeling that living like this makes your life miserable you should leave. You're probably not gonna get much good advice other than this. It's either therapy and trying to figure it out, or leaving.
Exactly this. Sadly having his own company allows him time where no one questions where he is and money he can keep secret. You are fortunate to have access to see his private account. How do I know: been there. OP you have my sincere sympathy
You aren’t going to work out. Possibly right girl but wrong time and circumstances. You already know this. You have zero free time with the current schedule but she still wants more. That makes you incompatible.
to add Our finances are set up this way by choice. I could've had access to the savings and other accounts, but because I have all my husband's login info I didn't ever find it necessary to have access until now. Financially I've almost always been able to trust him so it's never been a controlling thing he suggests or anything like that. It's just simply how our accounts and such worked out after we got married.
Not read all the comments.
My husband spun this shit when I was 4 months pregnant with our first. Even went as far as to tell me the women he had in mind. All younger, thinner, prettier and seemingly up for sex with my husband.
It has totally, totally destroyed me.
Of course I said no I do not want this. He actually sulked like a moody teenager. He had it all worked out and flipped it I had some “sex problem”.
I was totally blindsided. It ruined everything. Destroyed everything.
The story is too long but our child is now six and I have started divorce proceedings. I have never been able to deal with what he suggested. Threw myself into motherhood and pretty much isolated myself from everything and everyone until our child started school.
I have just grown to bitterly resent my husband and he still cannot see what he said was wrong.
Has my husband cheated? No idea. Don't believe a word.that comes out his mouth. Do I care if he has? Not anymore. I did. I would be physically sick at the thought. Now I could not give a shit.
Don't waste another moment. Dont do what I did and stay because you cannot ever unknow what he has proposed. It will eat you up and every bit of confidence and certainty you have will just erode more and more.
Your girlfriend deserves better than this, OP. You broke up with her so that you could sleep with someone else, then got back with her. Is she actually aware of the reason you broke up with her? In this context, I think she should be so she can make an informed decision about that.
You're literally just looking for means and ways to cheat on your girlfriend. Last time it was breaking up with her, this time it's trying to sell her on a non-monogamous relationship because you already want to sleep with the person you left her for last time. Do you not see the huge issues there?
My advice to both of them would be to stay clear of you. Even the way you describe potentially having a non-monogamous relationship with them both as “the glory” is pretty gross.
It's double standards and sexism and unfortunately too common.
The bot is still learning but it's still better than anything that I ever wrote.
What a weird fucking thing to say. If your significant other LOST THEIR JOB, would you make them fuck you nonstop otherwise you'd throw them out of your house and refuse to help them pay for your expenses?
You say to him “we’re finished”
I think you should think about what you essentially said. You had not picked out someone you wanted to have sex with but you wanted to have sex with other men.
I can understand why he went off the rails.
I can understand maybe someone liking you more for your personality than looks, after all most of us are average looking. But the thing that bothers me is the fact that he considered breaking up with you because of your looks. Thats kinda crazy to me its like he isnt attracted to you at all. You need to think about the future and if you can live with this for the rest of your life. Will you be happy to be married to someone that doesnt think you're physically attractive? Is this going to make you feel insecure, especially if other prettier girls flirt with him and you know he doesnt think youre attractive?
In my opinion, physical attraction is important in a relationship. It isnt everything of course, there are more important things, but if there is barely any physical attraction then the relationship might not last that long especially when you have kids and get older.
You can't expect someone to change behaviour they've been doing for 15 years. You've taught him that you're ok with being treated like that and you've built a relationship around that.
Now, you've realised it's not acceptable because it impacts your son. So your behaviour is changing.
That's ok, it's a shame it took so long but it's fine. It's time to take the next steps and start planning what you're going to do.
The issue is your husband, showed you who he was from the beginning and you accepted it. Now you want him to change, or think he has the capacity to change based on dreams, vibes and pixie dust.
He isn't going to change, atleast not for you. You set the precedent for how he treats you. In your relationship, he operates in the boundaries (or lack of) you set all those years ago. In future relationships, he'll operate in the boundaries the new partner sets for him.
Just remember that when you start dating again, you choose how someone treats you. That's through your behaviours and responses to how they behave towards you. You teach them how to treat you, once that's set in stone, it requires a lot of effort- and the desire to change for that person to change things.
I’m sure that’s the reason. I have said before that I wouldn’t want her hanging out with him. She’s agreed that she wouldn’t like it if she was in my situation.
It doesn’t help that my last relationship ended when I “snooped” and found out she was cheating with a coworker. If it wasn’t for my snooping I would never have found out.
You're 13 aren't you
You sound like a lovely person. I have no doubt you will find happiness with someone. Good luck.
You sound like a lovely person. I have no doubt you will find happiness with someone. Good luck.
To me, that’s a non issue. In my house, we both do our best. We both empty the pockets before throwing something to the basket and whoever ends up doing laundry still checks them anyway.
The bottom line is, I don’t want to break the washing machine, destroy the clothes in the load or scrape the tissue remains from it.
This is a complete mess and you should just leave. Not only are you enabling her cheating on her BF, you are also in love with her yourself, and you'll no doubt end up getting burnt once again. She clearly doesn't see loyalty in a relationship as something important and is just hurting everyone she touches.
This seems like an odd post.
Have you had sex with other friends before? You say you have had sex with a lot of strangers, so I think it’s safe to assume you don’t really value intimacy and sex on the same level. It sounds like they feel the same way, and your boundaries with them haven’t been clearly defined. You may have assumed that they felt the same as you, but now it’s obvious they don’t. It doesn’t make them horrible people, it just means you need to have a convo on how you view the relationship. Tell them you only see them as a friend and you don’t want to have sex with them. If they’re cool with that, then carry on the friendship. If they aren’t, then find other friends.
You will never get your wedding night back. He prioritized the thoughts of a friend over his newlywed wife.
There’s no coming back from that. Especially if he doesn’t see anything wrong with what he did. What is he going to do next? Abandon you on your birthday because his friends think it’s too immature of you to celebrate? Abandon you at the hospital giving birth because it’s cringe to see?
Does your favorite hobby include specifically being absent from her a quarter of her days off? Would you specifically forbid her from sharing your hobby with you?
No, of course not. If he was wasted and it was an honest mistake just have him buy you a new one and laugh about it. He’s not a bad dude or repeat offender. This sub is full of bitter drama queens. Don’t ask anymore questions here unless you want a hive mind mentality of “dump him” for anything manipulating you.
The social and cultural factors are important to some. Especially the fact that if one of them becomes gravely ill, injured, or unresponsive, a GF/BF wouldn't have any authority to see their SO if their under “family onky” orders nor any say in their treatment. I don't ever see myself getting married, but I can see why someone would want or even need marriage to be happy beyond tax or money reasons.
I am religious but not exactly at the same level as she is …
It wouldn't be cheating if you dumped her ass
You are right, it does kinda seem like he isn’t substantially into you
You really, really do not have to deal with this.